Stepping Time
by Reggieme
Summary: Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered" Alex and Olivia have been through a lot together and individually. After all that has happened they each wonder if there is a chance for them to finally come together. Epilogue is up! Sequel to come!
1. Chapter 1

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 1

"Jesus Christ," Olivia mumbled to herself hearing the knock on her door. Not often had she found herself at home at 4 p.m. on a Thursday with a beer in her hand and the next three days off. She laughed at the irony of her mumblings sure that with the entryway construction to her apartment building she would open her door to some religious fanatics promising her salvation.

"Holy shit," she said as she glanced through the peephole, flipped the deadbolt handle and opened the door. "Casey Novak, I'm so glad it's you."

"Well, first I'm surprised, but glad you are home and second thrilled with your reaction to it being me," Casey smiled.

"I thought with the construction in the lobby and not usually being home at this time, that it was either going to be Jehovah's Witnesses or Girl Scouts selling cookies," Olivia smiled walking to the refrigerator. "You want a beer, wine, Dr. Pepper, water."

"Beer would be great and I am grateful that you consider me at least a notch above solicitors but you know you would have bought some cookies, "Casey said as she sat down on the brown leather couch. "How is Warner doing? I just got back into town yesterday. Munch e-mailed me after it happened, but," she paused.

"Melinda was released from the hospital yesterday. She's a tough ME. She's got a month or so of PT to go through, but other than a scar she should be back to 100% physically in about six weeks."

"And you?" Casey questioned.

"I wasn't shot," Olivia countered.

"Liv, c'mon. I know it's been what like six months at least since we even met for lunch, but I'd like to think our friendship is still where you know you can talk to me some," Casey sighed.

"So you came to check on me?"

"Yes and no," Casey replied. "I had an afternoon meeting 12 blocks away, finished that, called your work phone, then tried Munch and then thought I would swing by here on the off chance you were home because I'm not down here that often."

Olivia smiled, "That doesn't really answer the question, but I am glad you are here. I do miss talking to you, and I know I'm not exactly great with responding to e-mails."

"Well, I don't know if your e-mails would even qualify as e-mails if you weren't allowed to use good, fine, busy, tired," Casey laughed. "But you have forwarded some pretty raunchy and hilarious jokes."

"I get those mostly from Fin," Olivia admitted. "I delete his e-mail address before I forward so it looks like they come from me."

Casey laughed. "CCU wasn't your favorite assignment was it Liv?"

"Not my favorite, but it is pretty amazing and scary at the same time how much info is out there. It's a great tool and a great threat in so many ways too. I just prefer phone and I have to admit texting has grown on me."

Olivia, pleased that Casey had mentioned no immediate plans grabbed two more beers and they settled on the couch into comfortable conversation. After a few months of self-pity and then self-discovery following her disbarment, Casey had become executive director at a non-profit assisting veterans with both physical and mental wounds. It was through her position there that she had met Jeff Stockton at a fundraiser nearly ninth months ago now. Jeff was an ADA in the Fairfield, Connecticut Judicial District and a veteran who served in both Iraq and Afghanistan. Three days short of his scheduled return home from a 14 month deployment to Kabul in 2006 the HUMVEE he was riding in took a RPG, killing his driver instantly, while also blowing off Jeff's left leg below the knee and sending shrapnel through his right leg and abdomen.

He had opened his eyes for the next time three weeks later in a hospital bed in Landstuhl, Germany discovering that along with missing part of his left leg he was scarred from his right upper thigh down to his knee with multiple surgeries yet ahead of him.

Olivia sipped her beer and listened intently as Casey shared Jeff's story and the progression of their relationship.

"He sounds pretty amazing Casey," Olivia smiled. "I'm happy for you. I had no idea from our lunch and e-mails that it had gotten this serious."

"Well at lunch," Casey interjected, "it was all still so new and besides if my recollection is correct we spent most of the time catching up on Paxton's antics as your ever so brief ADA and the rest of the latest one-six happenings."

"And given my e-mail brevity, I guess," Olivia laughed. "Shit it is already 7:30."

"I'm sorry Liv, did I mess up your plans?" Casey questioned unaware until then just how much time had passed while they were talking.

"No, not me, but I am a rude host. Are you hungry? I'm starving. We can order in or go out, or do you need to go?"

"I would love to stay. Let's order Thai," Casey said explaining that Jeff was down in Myrtle Beach for the next four days with his 12 year-old daughter, Amelia. Jeff and his former wife had divorced in 2008.

"So have you spent much time with Amelia?" Olivia asked.

"Yes, she's a great kid. Great softball player," Casey smiled. "I was down in Myrtle Beach with them for a few days until I came back yesterday. I didn't know about Melinda being shot and everything until I read an e-mail from Munch at the airport."

Olivia hesitated, but Casey nodded to her encouraging her to ask the question that was obviously hanging on her lips.

"Does Jeff have nightmares of what happened to him?"

"Not very often anymore," Casey said. "But he does have PTSD and triggers like loud noises and sometimes helicopters. He hit a real low when his wife filed for divorce, but then he went and got help. He still goes to counseling and now he helps other vets."

"That's good." Olivia said.

Casey wanted to try again to get Liv to talk about the shooting of Melinda Warner that had occurred just six days ago, but a knock at the door signaled the arrival of their dinner and Olivia quickly turned their conversation to lighter topics.

Liv and Casey loaded their plates with food, grabbed fresh beers and resumed chatting on the couch.

"Oh I remember now," Casey smiled laughing.

"Remember what?" Liv said cocking an eyebrow. "I didn't know you forgot something."

"Sorry," Casey giggled, "I might have a slight buzz going. Munch said I should ask you about the Babs Daffy case."

"What the fuck," Liv exclaimed recalling her averted kiss from Babs and gay vibe conversation with Elliott.

Casey sat back. "I didn't mean to touch a nerve, Liv. Munch just said she was quite the interesting character."

Olivia realized her exclamation had come across harsh and not how she intended.

"No, you didn't Casey," she smiled. "Babs DUFFY is indeed quite the character. And I think Munch and the captain were probably the only ones around for that case who she didn't hit on."

Olivia went on to explain the details of the case, Babs kiss of Elliott, her jaw drop upon her introduction to Alex that Elliott had told her about and Babs attempted kiss of her.

"I guess the evening with Babs wasn't a total loss," she laughed. "I did learn all about Twitter, not that I think I'll ever Tweet. But hell at least I understand it now. Letting her explain it to me was the only way I could prevent her from actually Tweeting."

"Embrace the technology Benson," Casey smiled. "There is some great stuff in the Twitterverse."

With the conversation and the beers flowing, Liv decided to garner Casey's opinion. She placed her beer on the coffee table, ran both her hands over her faded blue jeans clad thighs and then her left hand through her recently coiffed brown hair.

"Are you trying to tell me to steal second," Casey laughed in response to Olivia's sudden gestures.

"No," Liv smiled one of her famous lopsided grins. "I asked Elliott this and you are one of my closest friends so I want your opinion too."

"Ok," Casey smirked unsure of what Liv was leading to. Liv took another swig of beer and then looking directly into Casey's eyes she said, "Do you ever get a gay vibe from me?"

Casey paused with a half smile. "What did Elliott say when you asked him?"

"I am asking you," Olivia responded.

Casey knew she owed her friend an honest response, but she wanted a moment to measure her words and surprisingly Liv gave it to her explaining that Elliott had said that she hadn't exactly had much luck with men and she was open minded. And then she added that Babs had told her she was a combination of Ellen, Calamity Jane, Suze Oreman and she couldn't remember who else which drew a hearty laugh from Casey.

The few seconds that Liv had expounded had given Casey time to put together a sentence or two, but when Liv's eyes met hers again, she said simply, "I think you give off a Cabot vibe."


	2. Chapter 2

"Stepping Time" Chapter 2 of ?

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

Olivia paused and then asked Casey if she wanted another beer. She had opened the door for Casey as she knew she needed to talk. When Casey had paused before answering her question, Liv was sure that Casey was going to answer yes on a gay vibe. Olivia was still internally wrestling with the gay vibe herself, but she had known for years she was in love with Alex Cabot.

"Case, are you sure you are up to listening to this," Liv said handing Casey another beer.

"Liv I know she left again. It's been like 3 months since she took the leave of absence to work on that international task force."

"Three months and eight days," the detective smirked. "How did you know about my feelings for Alex?"

"I don't know that I really do know," Casey said. "It was intimidating as hell to try and step into the role of the legendary Alexandra Cabot," she recalled. "You still made me feel welcome Liv, and I'll always appreciate that. As we worked together more and then began grabbing the occasional drink at Maloney's with the guys I noticed how you reacted when Alex's name would come up whether it was an old case or recollections of funny moments you all shared at that same bar or in the bullpen."

"Was I that obvious?" Liv questioned.

"Well you had a pattern," Casey smiled. "If her name came up over drinks you would only listen in or contribute so long before you would excuse yourself to the bathroom or to the bar for another round and if we were at work you were almost always quick to bring the discussion back to the present."

"Damn Casey, pretty observant," Olivia sighed.

"Well, if you remember I use to be an ADA," she laughed. "But I wasn't sure of the depth of the feelings between you two until Alex came back to testify at the Connors' trial. When she came into my office and you saw each other again, I'm not even sure how to describe it, surreal doesn't begin to capture."

Olivia interrupted, "And here it is over five years later and I still can't put the words to seeing her again and spending that night with her."

"That was the first time you two made love?" Casey questioned softly.

A single tear trailed down Liv's right cheek and she took a deep breath and said, "We never have Casey."

"Oh Liv," Casey said wrapping her arms around the broken detective and pulling her into an embrace. Casey grabbed a throw pillow from the corner of the couch and placed it on her lap and Liv lowered her head to it facing away from Casey.

"God Casey, I don't know there were so many emotions in the 10 hours of that night we had together. I had so much fear prior to her being shot of telling her that I felt more than friend," she corrected, "that I was in love with her."

Casey gently massaged Liv's right shoulder and arm urging her to continue talking. She knew Liv let very few people inside the walls around her heart and soul and her time working with veterans and her relationship with Jeff had further demonstrated the importance of verbalizing experiences, fears, hurts and hopes.

"I know rationally what ifs only drive you fucking insane, but just before the Zapata/Velez case she had asked me if I would want to go away with her for a few days at the end of the month to her uncle's cabin in the Adirondacks."

"So that would have been around Halloween," Casey interjected.

"Yes," Liv laughed. "I was so happy and shocked at the same time by the invitation that I first joked she probably could avoid trick-or-treaters without fleeing to the mountains."

"Benson," the blonde woman laughed.

"I know," she smirked. "But we were going to go and it was only three weeks away. And I was nervous, but yet I was so happy. Even with my fears, I didn't figure Alex Cabot was asking me to go to an isolated cabin in the mountains for fly fishing."

"No detective, I just don't see Cabot in rubber waders." They both laughed at the image.

"Five days later my hands are covered in her blood as she lay lifeless on the sidewalk-and I'm pleading and promising and cursing the violence in this world yet again. I honestly don't recall anything between when they loaded her in the ambulance until I saw her alive for that brief moment before they hauled her away."

By this time Casey had tears streaming down her cheeks as well.

"I came back here that night or early morning and I opened up a bottle of whiskey and drank to my happiness that she was alive and my anger that she had been taken away."

"And then?"

"After a few days of feeling sorry for myself, I threw myself back into the job. I didn't know if I would ever see her again, although at one point I decided if she was still in WPP after I retired I would track her down."

Olivia got up and walked to the kitchen grabbing bottled waters for both of them. She sat on the floor with her back leaning of the couch and her legs extended under the coffee table. Casey stretched her legs out on the couch above her, her head resting on the opposite side of the couch so she could see Liv's profile as she spoke. The detective explained that Alex told her that night they had together when she came back for the Connor's trial that Hammond said she would be relocated again with a new identity. She just didn't know how quickly it would happen.

"I asked her whether she had made any friends in Wisconsin, and she told me she had been seeing a man. And although I felt jealousy with her having sex with him, the pain hit more when she was talking about him holding her at night."

"The intimacy," Casey commented.

"Yes," Olivia sighed. "I felt, sometimes still feel, I let her down by not protecting her, that I should have seen the SUV coming around the corner sooner, something. And there was someone else there in Wisconsin making her feel protected and comforted."

"Did you tell her that?" Casey asked.

"She saw the hurt in my eyes. I just told her that it was good she had someone there for her and then I gave her Connors' file. I figured if I couldn't protect her physically the best I could do was to do whatever I could to help ensure Connors' was put away."

Liv explained that she had sat in the windowsill alternately staring at the city and Alex as she read through the file. Alex had only commented occasionally while reading and Olivia said nothing without being prompted by her.

"At midnight exactly she closed the file, took off her glasses and went into the bathroom and changed into some sweats. And then she settled on the bed and asked me if I would hold her. She lay awake in my arms, with her head on my chest and my hand stroking her hair for the next two hours. At times we both were crying and at others I just listened to her talk about not knowing if she was Alex Cabot anymore and if she would, could be ever again."

"And you?" Casey asked.

"I lay there awake the next two hours holding her, watching her sleep and thinking how grateful I was to have her in my arms, and pissed at the reality that it would soon end."

And when the alarm had awoken them at seven, Alex was still wrapped in Olivia's arms her head on her chest. They laid together in silence for 10 minutes before Alex sat up, looked into Olivia's deep brown eyes and squeezed her right hand in hers. She leaned down and placed a soft kiss on the detective's forehead and then gazed into her eyes once again before saying "Thank you. I love you Liv," and heading to the shower.

"I told her I loved her too," Olivia continued. "That last hour together went by so quickly. It was eight and Elliott was there to take us to the courthouse. But spending that night together gave me hope, but I so wanted another one with her. When Hammond came in your office after the verdict and said she and Antonio were gone, it was that hope and finally knowing for sure that she did love me that gave me some strength."

"Do you still have that hope?" Casey said sitting up and sliding on the couch towards where Olivia was sitting on the floor.

Liv bit her lip and leaned her head back before turning her head towards Casey and answering. "I don't know. There has been so much that has happened since then to both of us. And we have both done and not done things since she left WPP that," Olivia began crying and Casey slid to the floor and held her.

"I don't know if there is more hope and love, than there is fear, hurt, and change."


	3. Chapter 3

"Stepping Time" Chapter 3 of ?

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. Thank you for reading and the comments so far. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

Dr. George Huang walked to the left corner table of the dimly lit and tiny Mexican restaurant. Alex was dressed casually in blue jeans, a simple white V-neck t-shirt, her blonde hair pulled up into a loose bun, her trademark black glasses resting high on her nose and a salted frozen margarita and chips and salsa in front of her.

"Thank you for coming," she said as the doctor placed a light kiss on her cheek before taking the seat across the small table.

"It's good to see you Alex. I am glad you called and asked me to dinner," he said.

Alex laughed, "I forgot what a hole in the wall this place really is. I guess I was romanticizing it while I was in Congo. They have great margaritas and beef enchiladas here though."

"Well you are right about the décor, but also about the food and drinks. Olivia brought me here for lunch once and I have been back several times since," he added.

"Yes, we have laughed and argued over quite a few margaritas here," Alex smiled.

"Have you talked to her since you returned from Africa," he asked taking a sip from his margarita on the rocks.

"No, I've been back a week and have stayed holed up in my apartment doing task force work and crying in between," Alex admitted. "I don't think I was the one equipped to organize this task force, but I can't let Nardalee and those other women down. Their strength and perseverance is amazing."

"Why do you think you aren't the one for the task force?" he queried.

The waitress approached and they ordered their meals and Alex another drink. She fidgeted with her nearly empty first margarita glass.

"The nightmares of when I was shot started again the second night we arrived and they continued almost nightly for the entire month I was there." Alex paused, biting her lower lip. "Damn it George. It's nearly seven years after the fact and I thought I was at least beyond that and only trying to figure out who the fuck I am anymore."

George extended an arm across the table and patted Alex's hand that wasn't fidgeting with the glass.

"Alex trying to minimize what happened to you doesn't make it go away."

"But you know what Nardalee went through," she interrupted. "And she has gone back to the scene of those crimes. And the women and girls I met down there and their stories."

"Alex you would never tell a rape victim that in comparison to other cases she should only feel a certain level of trauma and put a timetable on her recovery."

"Of course not," she quipped.

"You are a survivor of a violent crime and you had your life as you knew it taken from you at that same moment. You have been through tremendous trauma and changes and you have basically tried to recover all on your own."

"I didn't have much of a choice while I was in WPP," she snapped, before apologizing.

"I know," he responded quietly, "but you have a choice now."

"You know I went to those counseling sessions upon my return."

"Yes, but Alex you can make an alcoholic sit in countless AA Meetings, but until they admit and accept they need help," he paused. "Only you know your truths and unless you are honest with yourself and."

"Point taken," Alex interrupted. "I want a female shrink this time. Do you know any good ones?" she smiled. He pulled out a business card for Dr. Linda Southerly.

"I went to college with her and ran into her a couple of weeks ago at a party. She sees a lot of clients with PTSD."

"Thank you. Now are you going to refer me to AA too if I order a beer?" she laughed.

"No," he smiled. "A Tecate sounds great."


	4. Chapter 4

Stepping Time" Chapter 4 of ?

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. Thank you for reading and the comments so far. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Hey Liv," Casey spoke into her iPhone.

"Hey I wanted to thank you again for the other night. It really helped to get all of that out. Maybe I should try that more often," the detective laughed.

"I'm glad you shared with me Liv, and I really hope you feel comfortable enough to continue to do so."

Liv laughed, "Hell Casey, I think from where we left off there's still about five years left of the ongoing Cabot-Benson saga to go through."

"Well there is a bit of a hopeless romantic in me and if you two are meant to be together then I want to see that happen. Plus you kind of left me hanging," Casey laughed.

"I don't know what will happen, but I do know that I need to start taking steps to live a little outside of the job too. I cleaned like crazy yesterday, even went through my closet and took stuff to Goodwill."

"Well, I don't know if that is exactly my idea of a life outside of work Liv," Casey laughed.

"But I had the tunes jamming on the iPod while cleaning and then I went to the MoMA for a few hours."

"That's a start, cleaning followed with modern art."

"I had the most fun eavesdropping on interpretations of some of the works," Liv laughed.

"I bet. I was just going to call you anyway. My right fielder wiped out on her bike yesterday and broke her wrist. We have two games later today and would love it if you could play," Casey said.

"God Casey, I think it's been two years since I've even played in one of those drunken precinct games. Don't you have any subs?"

"Usually two," Casey said. "But Donna is TDY for two weeks and Sarah is on leave for her brother's wedding."

"So the cop is going to be the weak link on the military team," Liv laughed.

"Love you Liv. Can you be at my apartment around 3, then we can go up to Eastchester together. We play at five and then again at seven. Bring black shorts and I'll give you a jersey when you get here."

"Ok I'll see you about three," Liv said.

"Oh," Casey added. "We always go out for beers and bad for you bar food afterwards. And if you want, bring some extra clothes and you can just crash here tonight. "

"Will do," Liv said. "I'll see you in a few hours."

Olivia arrived at Casey's at 2:45, with overnight bag in hand. Casey lifted up two white jerseys with thin black pinstripes.

"You can be number 2 or 20."

"20 please," Liv said.

"Any particular reason?" Casey asked.

"I don't like being second at anything. 20 is just a number."

"I have to finish getting ready," Casey said heading to the bedroom. "Grab something to drink if you'd like."

"I'm good thanks. I take it this is Jeff," Liv said lifting a picture taken on a beach at sunset from the end table next to the couch.

"Did the titanium lower leg give it away, detective?" Casey laughed.

"I deserved that. He is quite handsome."

"Liv can you get the door," Casey said hearing the knocking. "It should be Erin she is going to ride over with us. And…"

Before Casey could finish Olivia opened the door to see Erin.

"Hi, you must be Olivia," the tall, dark haired woman said extending her hand to greet Olivia. "I'm Erin Mathison."

Casey walked into the living room and noticed Liv still standing at the door. "And yes Erin is from Texas originally, but she and Abbie Carmichael are neither long lost sisters or even second cousins."

"I'm sorry," Liv said snapping out of her obvious stare. "But wow, the resemblance is amazing." Liv then mumbled seemingly to herself, "Damn are all the women in Texas gorgeous?"

"No worries," Erin said. "Casey had about the same reaction when we first met. And to answer your question detective, the answer is no not all, but I appreciate the compliment."

Liv blushed slightly realizing Erin was addressing her mumbling she thought had been too faint to hear. "You're welcome," Liv said.

They arrived at the softball complex with enough time to get some practice in the batting cages. Olivia was grateful that their first game was an easy one. She had two singles, a pop out and a deep fly out so she hadn't embarrassed herself, and the only two balls that came to her in right field she caught easily.

Casey, Erin, and Stacey Taylor the left fielder, were the three best players and as the first game went on Olivia had caught on to a competition between them that would result in the loser buying the other two each a drink at Madison's Sports Bar later.

Madison's Maulers sat on the bleachers behind diamond #4 waiting for the six o' clock game to finish.

"Okay Benson, it has been decided," Casey said.

"What?" Olivia questioned.

"You're part of our competition this second game," Casey said pointing to Erin and Stacey. You've had your warm up. The least productive batter among the four of us in this next game buys the other three a round of drinks."

"I'm thinking a Long Island Ice Tea will taste pretty good after this Casey," Liv smiled. "So write that down in your lil manager's scorebook so you won't forget."

The other women laughed. There wasn't much smack talking during the game between the four women as the lead changed five times until Erin ended it in the bottom of the seventh inning with an RBI double to make the final score 11-10. Liv still didn't know who would be buying the drinks as they rode to the bar. Erin was adding up total bases, RBIs and Casey fearing that her two doubles and one RBI would make her the loser was playfully questioning the legitimacy of the bet.

"Olivia you didn't have to run so fast on Erin's double," Casey laughed. You could have stayed at third and then I would have brought you in for the game winner."

"Hell Case, I jogged home once I got past third, Erin tagged that ball."

"Thank you detective," Erin laughed. "And you aren't buying, two singles, a double and three RBI, you have the most points in our scoring system. Nice job rookie. Novak, with my five bonus points for the game winner you are buying."

Liv looked around as they entered Madison's. Large screen TVs covered most of the walls, with smaller ones hung around the main bar. There were eight pool tables that she counted along with six electronic darts machines and a few other video games. Liv followed Casey and Erin out a rear door to a huge patio with picnic tables that overlooked four sand volleyball courts.

"This place is huge," Liv commented. "I guess the suburbs have some perks."

"I'm thinking being a detective and all you have figured out that Madison's is our sponsor," Casey said. "They give us four pitchers of beer to start us off."

"If I didn't know how much you love softball, I'd think you only play as an excuse to get drunk," Liv laughed.

"Well we have taken a few cab rides home from here," Erin interjected.

During the two games Liv was successful in memorizing all the names and faces of her teammates, but now she was overwhelmed by introductions to spouses, boyfriends, girlfriends, and friends.

"A few more games and evenings at Madison's and you all get all names down," Erin said sitting next to the detective.

"I had a great time playing and I am enjoying being here and having some fun," Liv replied. "But Casey said she was just short a player for today's games and it rare when I am both off and not on call on a Saturday."

"Well you're a very good player and you mesh well with the team. We play Wednesday nights too. And with most of us being military it's rare when we have an abundance of subs," Erin said.

"So how long have you been in the Army?" Liv asked Erin.

"Twenty-two years and eight months, and 16 more months til retirement," Erin smiled.

"What did you join at 15?" Olivia smiled.

"Aw thanks," Erin smiled. "I think that's compliment number five from you."

"What do you and Novak have a competition for compliments too?" the detective interrupted.

"No, but not a bad idea," she smiled and then continued. "I was commissioned as a second lieutenant in the military police corps on my 22nd birthday. Now, I am the public affairs officer at Fort Hamilton."

"MP to PAO?" Liv asked.

"I added the PAO designator after I made major in Germany. Then I was at Fort Hood, Texas where I later took command of the 720th MP Battalion. And 10 months ago I PCS'd to Hamilton."

"So where you deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan?" Liv asked.

"Both and add Somalia for the hell holes trifecta. Now how about we save the more serious talk for lunch or dinner next week and go kick some ass on the pool table."

Erin yelled to Casey and Stacey and the four headed inside to an open pool table.


	5. Chapter 5

"Stepping Time" Chapter 5 of ?

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. Thank you for reading and the comments so far. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

Olivia strode into the 16th Precinct Monday morning at 8, clad in black jeans a maroon V-neck shirt and a bag of bagels in hand for the bullpen squad and Starbucks for her and Elliott.

"Bagels here," she said across the room as she took a seat at her desk and placed Elliott's coffee in front of him.

"Aren't you happy for a Monday morning," Elliott remarked.

"Three and a half days off with no work calls or paperwork can do that for you," she smiled.

He looked up at her as Munch approached to grab a bagel. "Thanks for the coffee and the bagels partner. Anything else you want to share about this breakfast inspiring weekend," he said expecting a firm glare."

"C'mon El, it's not like I don't ever do small nice things around here," she laughed.

"You're one to comment Stabler," Munch said. "Can't even get you to buy a round of beers let alone take the time to bring in breakfast."

"Thank you Munch," Liv smiled. "And if I wouldn't think taking that coffee away would make my partner crankier, I'd give it to you instead. Oh and Novak said to tell you all hello."

"How's she doing?" Fin asked taking a partial seat on a corner of Liv's desk while spreading cream cheese on an onion bagel.

"Very good. Spent a lot of time with her this weekend. Even played right field on her women's team for two games Saturday night," Liv said.

"You should let Babs know," Elliott cracked. "I'm sure she'd be pleased you are playing."

"Shut up El," Olivia laughed. "Casey is doing great. Happy working with veterans and seeing a great guy. Next time we all go for drinks she wants to come."

"So no plans to return to law even with her disbarment over?" Elliott asked.

"Don't think so. Think she has moved on."

Alex started the morning with a two mile run and an hour of task force work before retrieving the business card of Dr. Linda Southerly. "Truth time," she said to herself before calling the number to make an appointment. At first she was surprised when the receptionist said she could schedule an appointment for her on Thursday already, but when she ended the call she realized that Dr. Huang had probably had a hand in it.

An hour or so later Alex was interrupted from her work by the Bad to the Bone ringtone emanating from her iPhone.

"Hey Melinda! Great to hear your voice. How are you feeling?"

"Still some pain, but some good meds for those," the doctor replied. "Thanks so much for the flowers Alex. They're beautiful. How long are you back in town?"

"Not sure," Alex replied. "At least a month. Depends on the progress of organizing this task force whether I need to go back or not. But I want to hear about how you are."

George had told Alex at their dinner Saturday night the details of the shooting and the case that he knew, but as Melinda spoke she got the first-hand account of the scene in the morgue and the details of how Olivia had saved Melinda's life with the improvised chest tube.

"Liv was great with the whole situation before and after I was shot," Melinda paused. "And actually, I have to give Marlowe some major props. Not that I had much interaction with her prior, but when things went crazy I expected her to crack. I'm not sure why."

Melinda went on to explain that Capt. Cragen was putting both Olivia and Marlowe in for awards for their actions.

"That's great," Alex said. "Sounds like they are very deserving."

"They are," Melinda added. "But I heard Marlowe might be leaving SVU. Sure would love you back Cabot."

"Thanks Melinda. That means a lot. I'm not sure if I would have been as heroic as Marlowe in that situation though," Alex said.

"You would have done great Alex. I have no doubt," Melinda said firmly.

Olivia and Elliott spent the day catching up on paperwork, surprised that the weekend hadn't brought them new cases.

"I'm heading out Liv," Elliott said right at five. "Don't get the opportunity to have dinner with the family very often."

"Maybe you should actually take them out," Liv said.

"Good idea," he smirked. "I'll see you in the morning."

Olivia walked out of the precinct and hailed a cab for Queens. She flipped the driver the fare and tip and then walked to the door of Melinda's house. As she knocked she thought maybe she should have called before just arriving on the ME's doorstep but she was relieved when Melinda opened the door quickly and greeted her with a smile.

"I'm sorry I should have called," Olivia said as Melinda gestured her into the house.

"Not a problem, at all Liv. I am already going a bit nuts just lying around the house. You want something to drink? Beer, wine, ice tea, or Coke?"

"A beer would be great," Liv said.

"Let's go sit out on the back patio," Melinda said. "It's a nice evening."

"Nice digs," the detective said sitting down on an Adirondack chair. "I didn't realize you were such a green thumb," she continued looking at all the hanging plants and flowers that formed a perimeter around the patio.

"Well only a bit," Melinda said. "Some of these came home from the hospital with me, and some have arrived in the past couple of days. Only those four hanging in the corners were mine and here before I was shot. Don't know what the lifespan will be on some of these. I don't know what they all are so I'll just water them when they look thirsty," she laughed.

"These are gorgeous," Olivia said running her fingers through the huge mixed bouquet of flowers in the elaborate vase on the table next to her chair.

"Alex sent those. I got them today. They are beautiful."

"What did she have them overnighted from Africa?" Olivia cracked.

"No," Melinda smiled uneasily. "She's back in New York. I just assumed."

"Nope," Liv interrupted and then took a long drink from her beer.

"Well, I think she said she has only been back in town a few days," Melinda countered.

"Doesn't matter," Liv said. "I came here to see you and how you are doing."

"I had the pleasure of talking to your captain today reference the award recommendations he is putting in for you and ADA Marlowe," Melinda said changing the subject from Alex.

"Well that's really nice," Liv smiled. "All I did was what you told me to do."

"Shut up detective. You saved my life. And unless you don't value my life, don't downplay what you did. I am very grateful," she said looking directly in Liv's eyes to convey the seriousness of her statement.

They talked through a second beer for Olivia and then the detective got up to leave. Melinda walked with her to the sidewalk in the front of the house as Liv waited for her taxi. When Melinda saw the taxi approaching she grabbed Olivia's arm and turned her towards her.

"Liv, I haven't processed this whole shooting thing totally, but I will tell you my sister and I hadn't spoken in nine months before it, but she was at my hospital bed and she is coming back down next week with my niece and nephew. Don't let resentments and misunderstandings trump friendship and love."

"Thanks," Liv said giving the ME a peck on the cheek before entering the cab. On the cab ride home she was weighing the merits of Melinda's parting words against her hurt and anger that since Alex left SVU again she had received a total of four e-mails, three of which she responded to with admittedly succinct updates utilizing the words Casey mentioned, "good," "fine" "busy" "tired" and concluding each with—"Great work you are doing. Hope it is providing you with what you need. Liv"

The fourth e-mail from Alex she had received two weeks ago.

_Hey Liv,_

_I should be back in NY for at least a month starting around mid-May. Would love to see you. Maybe we can get together for lunch or dinner? Let me know._

_:-) Alex_

"She's kidding right, a fucking smiley face," Liv recalled thinking when she had first opened the e-mail. Liv was interrupted from her musing by the vibration of her phone.

"Benson," she said abruptly.

"Bad time detective?" Erin questioned. "It's Erin by the way."

"No not a bad time at all," Olivia responded as she glanced at her phone. "And I recognized your voice, not to mention you programmed your name in my phone as Erin Hot Texan."

"Oh that is embarrassing," Erin laughed. "Maybe one too many shots."

"So you regret the entry?" Liv countered.

"No, not the data entry, just that I didn't come up with something more creative than Hot Texan. Pretty lame for a public affairs officer."

"Well you can amend the entry, but it is accurate" Liv said almost surprising herself.

"Very good to know because as it turns out I'll be in Manhattan tomorrow for afternoon meetings, so wanted to see if you are available for drinks and dinner in the evening?"

"Sure as of right now," Liv said.

"Well you have less than 24 hours to change your mind," Erin cracked.

"No, I meant as long as we don't get a new case. How about I text you late afternoon?"

"Sounds good. And if you don't mind I'll leave the locale up to you since it is your neck of the woods," Erin said.

"Thanks. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Bye Erin," she said and realizing that she had almost undoubtedly accepted a date with a woman, the woman was not Alex, and she was looking forward to it.


	6. Chapter 6

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback. Getting close to some M content.  
**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 6 of ?

Lt. Col. Erin Mathison was doodling in her notebook grateful that the conference room was dimly lit to allow for the fourth and final PowerPoint presentation of the afternoon. She felt the two vibrations of her phone indicating a text message against her waist under her Army Combat Uniform jacket.

"About time Benson," she thought. She concealed her phone under the table and tilted it so she could read the message.

_Hey it's Olivia. Quiet day, so think I'm good. How about 6:30 at Barbetta's? Assuming Italian works for you._

Less than a minute later Liv's iPhone beeped twice and as she looked at the text on her phone she laughed hard drawing Elliott's attention.

_I thought an Italian was working for me, but she didn't call back after three dates. But I do love Barbetta's. I'll see you at 6:30._

"Care to share?" Elliott asked smiling.

"No," the detective smiled, "but I am going to pack up and get out of here. Just as Elliott was going to comment the phone on Olivia's desk rang.

"Detective Benson," she answered.

"Hey Liv, its Alex. How are you?"

"I'm good Alex," she said, her partner noticing her smile disappear. "Just kind of busy."

"Yeah right," Elliott mumbled.

"Melinda told me how you saved her life," Alex continued.

"I just did what she told me to do. The flowers you sent her are beautiful," the detective said. "I went by her house last night."

Alex paused knowing by Olivia's tone that she wasn't pleased.

"I was wondering if you might want to meet for drinks later," Alex said timidly.

"I have plans tonight Alex."

"How about tomorrow night then?" Alex countered.

"Softball tomorrow night with Novak" she said. Then realizing she was being a bit of a bitch, she asked, "How about lunch on Friday?"

"Friday is good," Alex said.

"Good. I'll call you Friday morning then. Have a good night," she finished and hung up the phone.

"Don't," Olivia said glaring at her partner. "And for the record I only lied about being kind of busy. I do have plans tonight and I am playing softball again tomorrow night."

"Well would the plans tonight be a date?" Elliott smiled.

"Yes," she grinned as she patted Elliott on the shoulder and left the precinct at 4:30. The restaurant was closer to the precinct than her apartment and she thought of just going there and having a few drinks before Erin arrived, but she opted to go home and shower and change first.

"Lord Liv," she said out loud to herself as she looked through her closet for the right shirt to go with the jeans and the black Munro ankle boots she chose after realizing she probably could use a pedicure before sporting open-toed heels or sandals again. She settled on a black drape front top, accessorized with a black belt, her usual watch and necklaces. She grabbed her lightest waist length black leather jacket as she exited her apartment.

It was only six when she left her apartment so she decided to walk to Barbetta's knowing she could easily cover the distance in 20-25 minutes.

"Hey Erin," she answered when her phone rang a few blocks from the restaurant.

"Hey, I'm here at the bar. Just got here. Do you want me to order you a drink?"

"Sure, Gin and Tonic with extra lime. I'm about two blocks away."

"I'm wearing a white shirt and jeans," Erin said.

"I don't think I would miss you, but thanks for the details," Liv laughed.

"Is that compliment number six?" Erin joked.

"I suppose it is," the detective said. "But I only recall number one which I didn't mean for you to hear and what you claimed to be number five at Madison's."

"Oh, that is good you don't remember two through four, that'll give us something to talk about."

"Like that has been a problem," Liv laughed. "Now order my drink and I'll see you in a minute."

Liv saw Erin at the bar the minute she walked in, but Erin's back was to her as she was engaging the bartender in conversation as he was making a margarita.

"Hey you," Liv said as she hung her leather jacket on the back of the chair next to Erin's and sat down.

"Hi," Erin said adjusting her position in her chair to see Olivia. "You look great."

"Back at you," Liv smiled and then took a sip of her drink.

They engaged in a little small talk about how the first two days of the work week had gone for each of them. Erin spoke of her propensity to doodle during boring meetings and presentations remarking that it was a shame she had no artistic ability as the number of hours she had spent in her career in such endeavors could have allowed a more talented soul to produce some masterpieces. Liv interjected about her recent visit to the Museum of Modern Art and that she was certain some of the pieces displayed as art were nothing more than doodles.

After a couple of drinks at the bar of the restaurant they moved to a table for dinner. Sitting across from Erin, the detective was alternating her focus from the dimples that were revealed each time Erin laughed or smiled, the dark brown eyes she knew she could easily get lost in and the neckline and little bit of cleavage the sleek, sculpted crossover blouse Erin wore revealed.

"So why have you decided to retire after this assignment?" Liv asked.

"Hell, I might be bored out of my mind within a year of retiring," Erin said. "And when I was commissioned, my goal was not to retire until I had at least one star on my uniform."

"What changed that?" Liv asked.

"I've seen, as I am sure you have as well with your work, how short, tragic and unfair life can be." She took a sip of white wine. "And my partner died two and a half years ago in a helicopter crash in Afghanistan."

"I'm so sorry," Liv said.

"Thanks. She should have been back at Fort Hood already, but her unit was extended four months in country. She had earned a Purple Heart and Bronze Star for a firefight when she was in Iraq prior to us getting together. Sheila would have been so pissed if she would have known she would be killed by a massive Blackhawk mechanical failure."

Liv understood. She thought it would be like her or Elliott being killed in a traffic accident, rather than going down in a shootout with a perp.

"And you were at Fort Hood when Sheila died?" Liv asked.

"No, I was commander of the 720th MP Battalion then and we were deployed to Baghdad, with seven months left in country," she said. "Obviously was never a fan of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, but I truly hated it then. I couldn't even go to her funeral. They don't give emergency leave for girlfriends you aren't supposed to have. And to be honest not only would it have ended my career, I would have been forced to relinquish my command and abandon my troops. I wasn't going to do that."

"That is just awful," Liv said placing her hands over Erin's.

"Well not being able to go to the funeral was awful, but ironically I think being in Iraq rather than back at Fort Hood helped me cope. I didn't have much of a choice other than focusing on our mission and trying to bring my troops back home safely," she said turning her palms upward and squeezing Liv's before sliding hers back and reaching to take a sip of wine.

"I'm sorry I brought this all up for you with my questions," Liv said.

"Don't be. I was going to tell you. And you know Sheila and I both knew the risks and realities all too well. She lost some of her troops in her previous deployments to Iraq and four of mine were killed by an IED within a week of my battalion's arrival in Baghdad."

She paused and then added, "We both agreed if the worst happened that the other wouldn't spend the rest of her life mourning and miserable. Not saying that that wasn't the case for some months after I got back to Fort Hood, but I had to start living again and I have."

"Ok," Liv said unable to find appropriate words and not really sure there were for what Erin had shared with her.

"How about we get out of here and go shoot some pool?" Erin said after signing the credit card receipt. "You are a great partner. I don't think Casey and Stacey will ever play us again, but I want to see how you do one-on-one," Erin smiled.

"So any wagers on these games colonel," Liv smiled grabbing her jacket as they got up to leave.

"I can think of a few things I might want from you detective," Erin winked.

The first bar they went to had a pool tournament going on and the second one was packed with twenty-something's so they decided to go and get some ice cream.

"Oh you never told me what compliments two through four were," Liv said between bites of her hot fudge sundae.

"Just nice scoop, great hit and nice ass," she laughed.

"I do recall saying the first two," Liv blushed.

"You're right," Erin said. "I think I said the third to you when you were batting."

"You're incorrigible," Liv laughed.

"Yep," she smiled. "And it is getting late so I should get home. Early meeting tomorrow. My car is in the parking garage down the street. I can give you a ride."

Erin pulled her silver BMW 135i into a parking space near the entrance of Liv's apartment building.

"I really enjoyed tonight," Erin said. "And I'm glad you are playing with us again tomorrow night."

"Me too," Liv said removing her seat belt and shifting in her seat slightly towards Erin. "And for the record you can keep compliment four on the list."

"Really," Erin said softly her eyes meeting the detective's.

"Really," the detective whispered as she brought her lips to Erin's and wrapped her right hand in locks of long black hair. Erin leaned deeper into the kiss and Olivia quickly teased her bottom lip with her tongue. Erin's left hand snaked up the detective's right arm to her shoulder and then fingertips teased small circles along her neck. Olivia parted Erin's lips with her tongue eliciting moans from both women.

Consumed by the intensity between them Erin fumbled to find the button to release her seat belt, but suddenly they were both illuminated by the headlights of the car pulling into the parking space behind them. Olivia pulled away, leaned her head back against the head rest of her seat and sighed, "Wow. And yes that is compliment number seven."

"I would love to try and earn number eight," Erin smiled. "But I probably should head home."

Erin leaned over and placed a soft kiss on Olivia's lips, and then whispered in her ear as she pulled away, "You're beautiful."

"Thank you," the detective said leaning over for another quick kiss. "I'll see you tomorrow."


	7. Chapter 7

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 7 of ?

"You're a great influence on your partner Benson," Munch said as the brunette detective walked past his desk.

"Why is that Munch?" she asked.

"Look at the boxes of Krispy Kremes over there," he pointed towards Elliott's desk.

"What," Liv smiled. "Did Kathy have to run to the store early this morning for something?"

"All on my own," Elliott smiled patting Olivia on the shoulder. "Besides if we have just another day of paperwork ahead of us figured we might need some sugar rushes."

As the morning moved on Olivia's focus shifted between notes in an unsolved case file and Lt. Col. Erin Mathison. Cocky, smart, funny as hell and drop dead gorgeous she thought. She was looking down at the file on her desk but her mind was recalling the kisses in the car the night before and how she wanted, almost ached for more.

"Delivery for Detective Olivia Benson?" the man holding the plant wrapped in green floral paper shouted.

Elliott looked towards Liv who obviously was only physically at her desk at that point. "Over here," he said to the delivery man and gesturing.

"Liv!"

"What," she snapped out of her daydream.

"Looks like your date was either an epic success or failure," he joked as the man placed the delivery on her desk.

"Thanks," Liv said to the man reaching into her pockets to grab a few dollars for the tip. Then she removed the paper around the plant and grabbed the envelope containing the card.

_It is a Zen Garden plant like the four I have kept alive on my patio all spring. Just a small token of thanks. -Melinda_

"So," Elliott smiled.

"It's from Melinda. Sorry to disappoint partner. She has a few at her house and she said they're easy to take care of, so maybe I won't kill it," she laughed.

"What kind of plant is it?" he asked.

"It's a Zen Garden," she said. "Zen is good."

"It is," he smirked. "You want to get out of here and grab some lunch. I can't remember the last time we have gone so long without a new case."

"Sounds good," she said. They spoke quietly about two active cases over sandwiches at a deli just down the street from the one-six.

"Two rapes, same apartment building, same M.O., knife, ski mark, gloves and perp uses a condom," Olivia said. "Two weeks apart and nothing for over two months now."

"And the only connection between the victims outside of the building is that they both use the same gym," Elliott recalled.

"Yes, but Hardaway worked out almost every night around six with her boyfriend, while Garcia said she had only been at the gym twice and both times in the morning and three months before she was attacked," Olivia said as they walked back to the precinct.

"The guy's not an amateur. For him to have not struck again makes me think he is either locked up for something else or he's dead."

Elliott looked up at the sky and the fast approaching gray clouds. "We better pick up the pace or we're going to get drenched."

"Shit," Liv said. "What's the forecast for this afternoon, tonight?"

"Scattered thunderstorms I think through late tonight," he said.

"Damn it," she muttered. "I'll be pissed if my game is canceled."

"I'm glad you are getting out and playing Liv. I just didn't know you were so into it."

"Oh, I just had a lot of fun playing Saturday," she downplayed as they entered the precinct.

"Well if you get rained out maybe you can have another date," he said smiling and pointing to the new delivery sitting on her desk.

Liv looked at the clear vase holding five yellow and five orange roses mixed together. "Okay," she thought to herself as she reached for the envelope to read the card. "Red means love, yellow means joy or friendship or something like that, pink is beautiful, what the hell is orange and what are yellow and orange together."

As if Munch could read her mind, he paused as he walked by her desk and whispered in her ear, "Yellow and orange roses together imply passionate thoughts."

Liv blushed slightly and then read the card.

_1 through 7 were wonderful to hear, especially 7. Hope to earn 8 through 10 soon. See you tonight. –E "HT"_

She slid the card in the right back pocket of her black jeans.

"That good," Elliott smiled.

"I think so," she smiled and then stepped away to call Erin.

Erin grinned as she looked at the Caller ID of her ringing cell phone.

"Hey you. How's your day going?"

"Just got a lot better, the roses are beautiful. Thank you."

"I'm glad you like them. And the card?" she asked.

"I wish you were doing to me what earned you number seven right now," Liv said softly even though she had moved out of earshot of any of her co-workers.

"Me too," Erin sighed.

The detective thought of escalating the seductive talk, but she was already consumed with desire for the woman hearing her voice and imagining her lips on hers again.

"Is it raining up your way?" she asked.

"It was earlier, but now it's not," Erin said standing up to look out her office window. "It's actually pretty clear now."

"Good, I really don't want our game to be rained out," she said.

"Wasn't it just about three days ago that you said…"

The detective interrupted. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was before I knew playing right field provided more than just a great view of your ass at second base."

"Well why don't you come to my place after work and we can ride to the game together. And," she paused, "if we get rained out, I'm sure we will figure out something. I only live about two miles from Casey. I'll e-mail you the address and directions."

"Speaking of Casey, Jeff should be back from South Carolina and at the game, right?" Liv asked.

"He got back last night late, so yes" Erin said. "I think you'll adore him. He's like a brother to me."

"That's awesome and Casey sure seems happy," Liv commented. "I'll call you when I'm on my way."

After finishing the call Liv walked back to her desk unaware of the smile she was still wearing.

"Damn Benson, that looked like a very intriguing phone call," her partner said.

"Hence why I walked away for privacy," she smiled.

"C'mon partner, you got to give me something. All we've been doing lately is paperwork and reading files. Give me a name at least so I don't have to say your date."

Olivia leaned back in her chair and laughed to herself loving that Erin is a gender neutral name verbally at least. "I can really fuck with him on this," she thought.

She leaned forward in her chair and said to her partner, "Erin."

"And," he started, but was quickly cut off. "And that's it for now," she said.

Olivia pulled her black Mustang alongside Erin's BMW in the driveway of the house in the Village of Tuckahoe. The house didn't look big from the outside but it had a small front yard and the detective thought the military must pay more than she thought given the cost of real estate in the village.

Erin greeted her at the door still partially clad in her Army Combat Uniform.

"I just got home a few minutes ago," she said placing a quick kiss on the detective's cheek. Liv was distracted first by how hot Erin looked in just her Army issued brown t-shirt, ACU pants and desert camouflage boots then by two yaps from the Chihuahua running towards her from the small open dining area to the left of the kitchen.

"This is the test," Erin smiled as the dog sniffed at Liv's ankles and then turned back and headed through a small doggie door to the backyard.

"So did I did pass or fail?" Liv asked.

"Oh, you passed. If he didn't like you he would have bit your ankle."

Liv laughed, "Well please tell me you don't have a Pit Bull too. What is the little guy's name?"

"Petraeus," Erin said.

"After the general," Liv laughed.

"Yes," Erin smiled. I have met the general a few times. He is not an intimidating physical presence, but he's a brilliant strategist."

Erin grabbed a beer for the detective and went to change into her softball gear. Olivia was almost disappointed that it looked like the rain would hold off and the 7 p.m. game would go on. She was sitting on the couch petting Petraeus who had jumped into her lap when Erin returned.

"Why are you number four?" Liv asked.

"Born of the 4th of July," she laughed. "My dad is retired Army, his father fought in WWII, and my mother's mom was a WAC nurse. I was destined for combat boots, I guess. Law enforcement in your family?" she asked.

"No," the detective said. "Just knew pretty early on that I wanted to be a cop." She got up from the couch and grabbed her duffel bag by the front door she had brought. "I guess I better get my uniform on."

"Bathroom is down the hall second door on the left. We should probably leave in about ten. Casey gets nervous if she doesn't have a full team there 30 minutes before game time."

Liv smiled, "Well you can imagine then how she was about us cops being to court well ahead of time to testify."

"So back at you on the uniform number," Erin questioned when Liv reappeared.

"No significance with 20. Casey only had two and 20 to choose from and I don't like being second at anything."

"I like that," Erin smiled grabbing her keys, sunglasses and purse from a small table to the left of the front door.

"By my watch we still have three minutes before we have to leave," Liv said into Erin's ear as her right arm wrapped around the woman's waist from behind. "And I haven't thanked you properly for the flowers."

Erin turned to face the detective who edged forward pushing Erin's back into the wall and pressing first their lips and then their bodies together. Erin so wanted to just drop the sunglasses and keys in her right hand and the purse in her left, but she knew if she freed her hands she wouldn't be able to stop her exploration of the gorgeous detective's body.

"You're very, very welcome detective," she breathed as she pulled her lips away from Olivia's. "What happened to those fuckin thunderstorms," she sighed.


	8. Chapter 8

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 8 of ?

Olivia slid into second base trying to disrupt the throw of the shortstop crossing the bag on the rare double play ball Casey had grounded in to. "Great," she thought as she stood up and tried to wipe off the diamond dirt that after nearly five innings of drizzle just enough to be annoying, but not enough to call the game, was smeared on her right calf and upper thigh. "Now I'm the wrong kind of wet and muddy," she thought to herself as she jogged back to the fenced dugout.

"Here Benson," Erin said tossing her a towel and a wink.

"Casey owes me," she laughed.

"Nice slide though," Erin continued. "Shortstop had to double pump on the throw, that's why Casey was safe at first."

The detective stood on second base in the top of the seventh inning of the tie game after smacking a double to right field. As Erin settled in the batter's box, Liv shouted a simple, "C'mon Erin."

"C'mon Erin,' she heard the shortstop say mockingly behind her as the first pitch fell low and outside in the catcher's mitt. "What the hell," Liv thought. "I should have really taken her out on the slide."

Erin lined the next pitch to right for a single and as Jeff signaled Olivia around third Olivia could see and hear Casey calling for her to get down. The detective slid safely into home, adding more dirt to her uniform and parts of exposed skin on her right arm and leg. With one out in the bottom of the inning the rain came hard, but thankfully the final two outs came quickly and everybody grabbed their gear and scrambled to their cars.

Liv stepped out of the shower, toweled herself dry and put on the extra black mesh athletic shorts she had in her duffle, her black sports bra and the gray t-shirt with ARMY lettered in black across the chest.

"I like you in my shirt," Erin teased. "I'm going to take a quick shower. There's money on the table by my new favorite wall for the Chinese food."

Olivia sat Indian style with her back leaning on the arm rest of the tan leather couch mixing the beef and broccoli and rice in the cardboard container with chop sticks. Erin was seated perpendicular but close to the detective, her long tan and toned legs extending out and under the glass coffee table centered in the living room.

"So do you know the shortstop on the team we played?" Liv asked.

"Her name is Reyna. We have some mutual acquaintances, and she hangs out at Madison's."

"Well she mocked me cheering you on when I was at second just before you hit me in," Liv said.

"She asked me out a couple of times and I said no. She probably picked up on the fact that I like you some."

"Just some?" Olivia questioned twisting the chopsticks and the food pinched between them. She slid the food between her lips and then secured another bite-sized portion of the food with the chopsticks. She reached over and placed the cardboard container on the table and held the food in the utensils near her mouth.

"You want to try some of mine?' she said seductively. As Erin leaned towards the food and Olivia's lips, the detective slid her legs behind Erin's back and down the couch. She moved her hand with the chopsticks back and above her head drawing Erin's body above hers.

'You are so sexy Olivia," Erin said sliding her lips over the tips of the chopsticks and freeing the food into her mouth with her tongue. Olivia discarded the chopsticks and pulled Erin down on top of her. Even still clothed the feel of Erin's breasts against hers and her right thigh pressed to her center drew a loud moan from the detective.

"God, you feel good," she said lifting her head slightly to reach Erin's lips with her own while sliding her hands under Erin's t-shirt, her fingers stroking her lower back. Erin penetrated the detective's lips with her tongue, kissing her deeply. When she released Liv's lips from her own and lowered her mouth to the pulse point on her neck the detective arched her back and opened her legs desperate for more contact. She tugged upward on the sides of Erin's shirt. Erin sat up straddling the detective and quickly removed her shirt revealing medium, firm breasts and hardened nipples covered by a white silk bra and a taut abdomen.

Olivia lifted herself slightly and quickly removed her own shirt and sports bra. Smoldering brown eyes locked intensely for a minute before the detective snaked her arms around Erin's back and pulled her back on top of her. The feel of Erin's taut nipples, even through the light fabric, against her own sent a tremor down her body to her aching core.

Erin traced fingers up the detective's right thigh as their tongues danced together passionately. Olivia released the clasp of Erin's bra."

"Let's take this to my bedroom," Erin moaned into the detective's ear. Just as Erin began to raise her body their passionate haze was interrupted by the sound of the ringtone she assigned for Elliott on her iPhone. Erin grabbed the phone from the coffee table and handed it to Liv. She slid her body down the couch propping her chin on the toned stomach of the detective, her left hand fumbling with the gold "Fearlessness" pendant that rested from a thin chain just below the base of her throat.

"Benson," Liv answered the phone.

"Hey partner. We've got an assault and possible rape of a resident at the Brawnard Nursing Home on 120 Riverside Drive. CSU is on the scene I am about 20 minutes away. Victim is being transported to Mercy General."

"Okay I'll be there within 30," she said looking at Erin trying to apologize with her eyes. "Fuck me," she sighed leaning her head back and running a hand through her hair.

"I had every intention of doing just that," Erin smiled, planting soft, quick kisses on the detective's stomach.

Liv laughed, but then apologized sincerely.

"You're a cop. I know that it isn't nine to five or anything close to that," Erin said as she got up and threw her t-shirt back on. "But," she smiled, "when you catch this asshole I might advocate for some waterboarding for the first time."

Liv laughed as she put on her sports bra and the red shirt she had worn to work earlier that same day. She slid the black jeans over the athletic shorts and fastened her belt and badge around her waist.

"So are you a boxer girl?" Erin asked.

"No, but between sliding into second and then home, I didn't want to put the same thong back on after showering," she whispered into Erin's ear.

"Definite waterboarding for this perp," Erin replied.

"Yes," she whispered trailing her tongue across Erin's bottom lip. "Don't think I can go to work commando now as wet as you make me."

Erin caressed the side of the detective's face with her hand and gave her a tender but brief kiss on the lips.

"Be careful. Call me tomorrow," Erin said.

"I will," Olivia said walking out the door to her car.

It was 3:30 in the morning when she finally pulled the blanket on her bed over her body and her head on the overstuffed pillow. She was to meet Elliott back at the nursing home at 9 a.m. to begin interviewing the daytime employees.


	9. Chapter 9

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 9 of ?

After exchanging greetings Alex took a seat on the couch in Dr. Linda Southerly's Manhattan office.

"So where would you like to start?" the doctor asked.

"Well I appreciate you taking the time to read the background information I had sent over before I came in," Alex said.

"You're welcome," the petite woman with short peppered hair said. "You have been through quite a bit of trauma and dramatic changes over the past seven years."

"I have," Alex said nodding, "but I know and know of other people who have been through so much worse than I have and they get their shit together and move on. I feel like I'm just spinning in circles. I get tired of one so I make a change and then I've just moved to another one."

"You were forced into numerous significant changes because of the shooting and your relocations and different identities. You wrote that your mother died while you were in witness protection, but you didn't mention any other relatives, friends or relationships," the doctor said.

"And?" Alex said flatly.

"Since you have been out of the WPP have you been able to re-establish some of those former relationships?"

"With some casual friends and professional contacts and colleagues. And pretty much with an aunt and uncle," she paused, and then said, "but not like I wanted with the relationship that is most important to me."

The doctor nodded encouraging Alex to continue.

"The woman I've been in love with for almost ten years," Alex sighed.

"Tell me about her and your relationship with her," the doctor said.

Dr. George Huang's words about self-truth and honesty in therapy echoed through her head.

"She's a detective in the Special Victims Unit. I have been their ADA three times now. She's drop dead gorgeous," she laughed at her word choice eliciting a smile from the doctor. "I had big career plans when I came to SVU in 2000 and a relationship with a woman, especially one I worked with couldn't be part of that equation."

"But that changed?" the doctor asked.

"I was hoping it would. The first two years we worked together I thought I could deny and then repress my feelings for her. And at times it seemed easy," she said smiling."We got into some almost legendary shouting matches over cases, where I was so pissed at her, but at the same time so turned on by her passion and conviction."

She continued, "And just a couple of months before I was shot, I decided that I wanted more than the original professional relationship, more than the friendship that grew, but I wanted it on my terms. It was going to have to be discreet."

"And what did…"

Alex interrupted laughing sarcastically at herself. "That's the thing. I hadn't asked Olivia. I had my plan, but I also had fear. The intensity, the passion between us I was confident she felt the same, but it hadn't been confirmed. Hell, the few times I had hugged her were less intimate in some ways than two male beer buddies because I knew I would just melt in her arms."

She continued telling the doctor about Olivia accepting her invitation to go away together for a weekend to her uncle's isolated cabin. How she could feel the detective with her and hear her voice but couldn't process her words as she lay bleeding on the sidewalk. How she insisted that Agent Hammond arrange for Olivia to see her before she was moved to her first WPP location.

"Why was it so important for you to have that brief meeting?" the doctor asked.

"I wanted her to know that I was alive," Alex said incredulously.

"And?"

"And I didn't want her to blame herself for my death," Alex said tears streaming down her cheeks.

"And you know she would have?" the doctor questioned.

"Yes," Alex said wiping her tears away with a Kleenex. "To protect and serve is not just a motto for her it is part of her core being. She told me the next time she saw me when I came back to testify in the Connors' trial that she felt she should had seen the SVU come around the corner."

"And what did you say?"

"I told her it was a professional hit and there was nothing she could have done to prevent it, and I was grateful they hadn't been able to shoot her and Elliot too."

"And were you being completely honest?" the doctor asked calmly.

"Of course I was," Alex said angrily and then mumbling, "What the fuck," under her breath.

"So tell me more about the time you spent with her when you came back for the trial," the doctor transitioned.

"We had 10 hours alone together the night before I was to testify. I had so longed to see her again, to hear her voice while I was in Wisconsin as Emily. I had so much I wanted to tell her, but yet was afraid to say as I was already terrified by then that I had lost who I thought I used to be," she said.

"How do you mean?"

"The first three and a half months I journaled almost nightly to her essentially. I never wrote her name in case Velez's thugs ever found me," she paused. "I didn't want them to find anything that would indicate how important she is to me. I thought it could put her at higher risk from those people."

"So why did you stop writing in the journal?"

"Reality hit me that I might have to be Emily for the rest of my life. I didn't want to let go, but I was going insane. I had no control over whether I could be Alex Cabot again. And I feared and hoped at the same time that she had started to move on with her life."

"I started dating a man I worked with and he was nice and safe, but I knew I would never fall in love with him. When I told Liv about him that night we had together I could see the hurt in her eyes. I didn't want to hurt her. I guess I wanted to let her know that it was okay for her to move on, that she deserved to be happy."

"Did you tell her that you thought she should move on and you wanted her to be happy?" the doctor asked.

"Not directly," she sighed. "I have done a pretty solid job over the years of sending her mixed and confusing signals on a personal, emotional level."

"How so?"

"Well I told her I was seeing a guy that night. Then I asked her to hold me in her arms all night. And she did. I have never even told her that I was with two different women while in college, so her only knowledge of me is dating a few men. And in the morning right before we had to go to court I told her for the first time that I loved her."

"And what did she say?"

"She said she loved me too. And that was the last time we were able to speak alone before I was whisked off to my new location and next identity."

"Unfortunately our time is up for today. Let's pick up from there in our next session," Dr. Southerly said. "Can you come back next week?"

"Can I come back twice next week," Alex said only half-joking.

Alex opted to walk back to her apartment rather than a hail a cab. She felt a combination of mental and emotional exhaustion and cleansing. She had never told another person the depth of her feelings for the brunette detective.

"You're still a stubborn control freak Cabot," she thought to herself and laughing. "You didn't lose that part of yourself in WPP."

When she arrived home she changed into an oversize t-shirt and cotton pajama bottoms. She grabbed a half-full bottle of Chardonnay from the refrigerator, a wine glass from a cabinet and turned on the TV to the "Pop Hits" Music Choice channel. She plopped on her couch and checked her e-mail. She thought briefly of doing some task force work, but another thought quickly occurred to her.

She went into her bedroom and opened the antique wooden chest that had been passed down from four generations of Cabots to her. She pushed aside scrapbooks, photo albums, and miscellaneous keepsakes reaching to the bottom for the journal she kept for those first three and a half months in Wisconsin.


	10. Chapter 10

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 10 of ?

"Good morning," Alex answered her phone enthusiastically.

"Well it is Friday at least, but it sounds like your morning is going a little better than mine," the detective said into her iPhone.

"Oh, so does that mean a reschedule on lunch?" Alex asked.

"No, I don't think so," the detective responded. "Just wondering if we could meet at Eddie's Deli as I probably need to stay close to the precinct."

Olivia saw Alex as she rounded the corner of West 46th Street waiting for her outside the deli. Alex was dressed casually in khaki shorts, a fitted baby blue t-shirt and athletic sandals. She was looking down rummaging with one hand through her purse when the detective approached.

"Sorry I'm late," Olivia said eyeing the former ADA from head to toe and noticing the absence of the thin-framed black glasses she usually wore. "Official uniform of Task Force Congo," she cracked.

Alex laughed. "No, just a perk of being able to do a lot of work from home."

Olivia reached for the handle of the door to the deli allowing Alex to enter ahead of her. They stood in line reviewing the familiar sandwich selections on a chalkboard hanging on the wall beyond the counter.

Olivia smirked as Alex reviewed the menu.

"Turkey or tuna, Cabot? That is all you have ever ordered here."

"Nope, I'm getting a big sloppy Rueben today," she smiled.

"Really," Liv commented before they placed their orders.

"So it's been busy?" Alex asked as they sat down at a table with their sandwiches and sodas.

"Last 36 hours at least have been," the detective answered. "Wednesday night we had a rape of an 85 year-old woman at the Brawnard Nursing Home. The victim has dementia, and was beat up pretty bad too so we haven't been able to get much from her. We have some solid leads though and the perp was sloppy so once we get some lab results I think we will get the sick bastard."

"And last night," she continued. "Another rape in that same building where we had two vics a couple of months ago two weeks apart. Same M.O., except escalated. He strangled this one to death."

"Which building is that?" Alex asked.

"The Winston apartments. I forgot that you had already left again by then," she said.

There was silence between the women for a moment and then the detective looked up to meet Alex's eyes with her own.

"I'm sorry, that was rude," she said.

"Actually, I think I deserved that," Alex said and took a deep sigh. "I should have handled that much differently. I'm sorry."

Olivia's mind raced. She thought of asking Alex how she should have handled it, but she feared it would just lead to another argument and she had to be back to the one-six in about twenty minutes anyway.

"The work you are doing now is very important and admirable. And Nardalee is an amazing, strong woman."

"That she is," Alex interrupted.

"She's lucky to have you," Liv smiled. "And you look good. You look refreshed and re-energized."

"Thanks," Alex said. "You do too."

Liv laughed. "My partner told me I looked like hell this morning. Not much sleep the past couple of days with these cases."

The detective felt two brief vibrations of her phone on her waist. She pulled it out of the case and looked down at the text message.

_Thinking of ways we can warm up for tomorrow's game. Ideas welcomed and encouraged._

The detective laughed.

"What?" Alex asked.

"Nothing," Olivia said. "Just one of my teammates texting some pre-game smack."

"Teammates?" Alex asked.

"Oh, Casey was short a player last weekend and I was actually off for three days in a row so I went up and played. I had a lot of fun so I am going to keep playing when work allows," she said. "We play Wednesday nights and Saturdays."

"How is Casey?" Alex asked while thinking she was glad that Olivia was doing something besides work, but jealous that she was doing things socially that she wasn't a part of. She only half heard the detective describing Casey's work with the foundation for veterans.

"And she seems to be pretty serious with this great guy, Jeff," the detective continued.

"Really," Alex said.

"Well, I haven't really talked to him much yet. We got rained on the other night," she said grabbing her ringing phone.

"Elliot's on his way to pick me up," she said after ending the call. "We have to go to the ME's office. I can't wait until Melinda gets back."

"She's good. I'm sure she is missed," Alex said as they got up from the table and walked outside.

"She is, but you are too," Olivia said.

"I'm which one?" Alex asked.

"Good and missed," Olivia said. "Best ADA we have ever had."

"Hey Liv," Alex said squeezing the detective's left forearm with her hand. "Do you think we could get together some time again soon and talk," she paused, and then added, "Some more?"

Liv saw Eliot pulling up.

"Sure," she said. "I enjoyed seeing you. I'll call you early next week."

"Hey Alex," Elliot said from the car. "It's good to see you."

"You too," she replied as she watched Olivia get into the car.

"Any chance of you coming back to SVU?" he asked.

Olivia looked at Alex from the passenger's seat in the car curious to hear the answer.

"I've heard Marlowe is doing a fine job," Alex said to try and deflect answering the question.

"She's done well, but rumor has it she's leaving," he said.

"Pretty busy organizing this task force right now," she deflected again.

"Well we better go," he said.

"Take care," Alex said smiling and then turning to walk away.

Olivia sat quietly as Eliot drove to the nursing home. She had enjoyed seeing Alex and was pleased they were able to talk comfortably, without arguing and without the underlying angry tension of their last in-person conversation they had on the courthouse steps over three months ago.

She knew she would always love the striking blonde, but thoughts raced in her mind from friendship, to trust, to fear, to change, to passion, to sex and then to the woman whose text message she hadn't yet replied to.

_No clothes and no interruptions for starters, _she typed on her iPhone and then hit send.

Olivia rolled out of her bed at nine Saturday morning. She felt refreshed after eight hours of sleep. When Elliot dropped her off late the night before she had taken a quick shower and then collapsed into bed exhausted.

She laughed as she re-read some of the text messages Erin had sent her while she was still working the previous night.

"Good morning detective," Erin answered the phone.

"Good morning," Olivia said. "What are you doing?"

"Petraeus and I are doing our Saturday morning yoga."

"Really," the detective laughed.

"What? I told you my dog is brilliant and talented," she replied.

"I believe you about Petraeus. I just didn't take you as a yoga woman,"

"Very accurate insight detective. I was dragged to a class a couple of years ago by a dear friend. First three classes I ridiculed it mercilessly, but then had to admit it has benefits," Erin said.

"I can imagine," she replied.

"So you still coming over about 1?" Erin asked.

"How about 12:30?"

"Even better," Erin purred. "I'll see you then."

"Come in," Erin yelled as she saw the detective approach the glass exterior door of her house.

"What ya doing?"Olivia asked entering and reaching down to pet Petraeus.

"Damn garbage disposal backed up. I'm almost done fixing it."

Olivia walked into the kitchen eyeing Erin.

"Aren't you just so cute? You and your little toolbox."

"Yeah," Erin said turning to reveal guck from the disposal on her arms and tank top. "Real sexy."

"Ok maybe not quite as sexy as some of your text messages," the detective said leaning over to give Erin a quick kiss on her cheek. "Do you want some help cleaning the rest up?"

"No, almost done and you don't need to get this shit on you too."

Olivia grabbed a Dr. Pepper from the refrigerator and sat down in a chair at the dining room table leafing through the morning paper while Erin cleaned up.

"Do I have a perp to waterboard yet?" Erin asked.

"No," Liv smiled. "But I am confident we will have him soon."

"I'll be out in a few. Obviously I need a shower," Erin smiled.

Erin stepped out of the shower and dried herself off with a large maroon cotton towel before wrapping it around her body. She brushed her teeth and then her wet, black hair which extended just beyond her shoulders. She opened the door of the master bathroom to see the detective looking at her. She was lying on her bed on her side; her head propped up slightly by her right hand, and covered only to mid-chest by the tan silk exterior sheet.

"Wow," Erin sighed.

"I think you ought to lose that towel, colonel," Olivia smiled.

Erin complied and then walked the few steps to the bed and under the sheet Olivia had lifted.

"You're beautiful," Olivia sighed as their arms and legs tangled and wrapped and their lips met. As their kiss deepened and tongues teased Erin pushed her body harder into the detective's rolling her onto her back. Olivia gasped as Erin's thigh pushed against her soaked core. Her body was electrified by the feel of Erin's breasts against her own and the soft skin of her body.

Erin sled her mouth down the detective's jaw line and down her neck, kissing and teasing with her tongue. Olivia arched her hips and ran her hands across Erin's ass begging for harder and deeper contact.

"Patience detective," Erin said as she lowered her mouth further and teased Olivia's right nipple with her tongue.

"Oh God, Erin," she gasped.

Erin pushed hard into her again with her thigh and then slid her right hand up the detective's thigh and then cupped her sex. She sucked the hardened nipple into her mouth swiping it with her tongue. As the gorgeous woman below her arched into her she relented and slid two fingers inside her.

"Harder," Liv pleaded and Erin complied sinking a third finger inside and teasing her clit with her thumb.

Olivia dug her trimmed nails into Erin's back and as Erin felt the detective's inner walls constrict around her fingers she penetrated her mouth again with her tongue. Liv rode out the orgasmic waves that released throughout her body before collapsing back into the bed.

"You're fucking amazing," she said gazing into Erin's eyes.

"Glad you approve," Erin smiled.

"I do indeed," she said grabbing Erin and rolling on top of her.

An hour and a half or so later Liv was placing soft kisses across Erin's abdomen as they relaxed into playful conversation.

"I did tell you how delicious you taste, didn't I?" Liv smiled.

"A few times," Erin smiled back as she ran a hand through the detective's hair. "And you have really sexy bed sex hair among other things."

"I'm up for testing out wall, table, and shower sex hair too, but right now I'm starving," she replied.

"I know," Erin agreed. "I guess we should probably get out of this bed for a little while."

Just as the detective went to sit up the doorbell rang and they could hear Petraeus barking at the door.

"Maybe whoever it is will go away. But then again both of our cars are in the driveway," Erin said.

"And I didn't think to shut the interior door before jumping in your bed," the detective blushed.

Erin scrambled to throw on some clothes and then walked to the door.

"Hey Casey. Hey Jeff," she said loudly as she opened the door and invited them in. "You guys want a beer?"

"Sure they both responded."

"Where's Olivia?" Casey asked.

"We just got back from lunch, she's changing into her uniform," Erin projected.

"Fuck," Liv mumbled to herself. "I'm famished and my jersey is out in the car."

Casey was suspicious noticing the disheveled appearance of Erin and that it was still about three hours until game time. "This could be fun," she thought.

"I told you Liv was going to meet me here again since she hasn't been to the field many times," Erin said almost laughing out loud at the absurdity of her statement.

"Well we were out shopping and noticed Liv's car in the driveway so we stopped to see if you all wanted to get some pizza before the game," Casey said. "But I guess since you already ate."

After quickly brushing her hair and splashing water on her face, Liv entered the living room wearing the black softball shorts and white tank top she had worn over.

"Hey guys," she said. "I guess I left my jersey in the car. I'll be right back."

When Liv came back in Erin offered her a beer which she accepted and then she took a set in the love seat across from the couch where Jeff and Casey were sitting.

"So Liv, your hair looks a little different, more body to it," Casey said.

"Must be the humidity," she responded.

"Where did you go for lunch?" Casey continued almost laughing out loud after noticing the red mark on the left side of Liv's neck confirming her suspicions.

"Well," Liv started, looking at Erin.

Casey busted out laughing, and then the rest of them.

"We're we that obvious?' Erin asked.

"Let me add up some evidence," Casey smiled. "For starters, defendant number one, you allegedly just returned from lunch yet you are wearing a green t-shirt, no bra and orange shorts. Not sure why anyone has orange shorts, but that is irrelevant. And you, defendant number two, are changing three hours before the game into partial uniform. I could go on, but I think the most compelling evidence can be found on your neck detective."

Erin smiled. "I am going to change. And getting some pizza sounds great to me."

"Me too," Olivia grinned.


	11. Chapter 11

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 11 of ?

"Ok, so now that I know a little about each, tell me out of Fin, Munch, Huang, Cragen, and Warner, who will I like the most?" Erin asked looking up slightly at the detective who was seated behind her with her legs extended down the couch around her.

"You forgot my partner Eliot Stabler," Olivia said.

"No, I didn't. I've already ruled him out as my favorite as his phone call was responsible for the postponement of multiple orgasms for nearly 72 hours."

Liv laughed. "I believe the perp is guilty of that delay."

"True, but I already have waterboarding for the perp," Erin said. "I'm just saying through no fault of his own, Eliot's not my favorite."

"Well the captain is kind of like a father figure to me as I said. Warner and I have become closer and occasionally socialize outside of work and I think everybody likes Huang. But out of the detective crew, I need to think for a minute about that."

Erin got up from the couch and grabbed two beers.

"Even without my partner being ruled out because of phone interruptions past and future, I have to say either Munch or Fin," Olivia continued. Munch will amuse you with his conspiracy theories and dry wit and Fin just is bust your balls direct, but yet has a real soft side."

"Ok, what about your ADA?" Erin asked sitting back down on the couch and handing the detective a beer.

"What about her?" Liv said abruptly.

"Touched a nerve, I guess," Erin said.

"No," Olivia said. "Jo Marlowe is our current temporary ADA. We've had a revolving door there lately. Casey hasn't told you anything about our ADA's office?" she asked trying to probe where Erin was going.

"Just about Alex Cabot," Erin said. "It's Cabot right?"

"Yes," Olivia responded taking a long drink from her beer.

"Casey told me that Alex was the one she replaced as ADA, because she was shot and had to go into WPP. I thought Casey had said that Alex was your ADA again," Erin said.

"She was," Olivia said. "Actually she has come back twice since leaving WPP. Casey was our ADA for the longest."

"Must have been nice to have some stability with Casey," Erin said.

"Yes," Olivia said. "Casey and Alex were both great ADAs, and are both good friends."

"You want to go get some dinner?" Erin asked.

"Sure, but then I better head home."

"Your call detective, but I loved waking you up this morning and I would like if you stayed again."

Olivia smiled and then leaned towards Erin meeting her lips with her own.

"I definitely enjoyed how you woke me up this morning," Olivia whispered pulling slightly away from the kiss. "Would be a great way to start a Monday."

"So Alex I see you brought a couple of things with you today," Dr. Linda Southerly said.

"Well when I walked out of here five days ago, I felt numb, exhausted, cleansed, and rejuvenated all at the same time. I don't know if that is really possible or makes any sense," Alex said flipping pages in the notebook on her lap.

"You shared a lot. It makes perfect sense for you to experience a lot of different feelings and emotions."

"So I went home Thursday night and I read the journal again that I kept those first few months in WPP," she said holding it up for the doctor to see. "I brought it so you can read it if you want."

"How did it make you feel to read the journal again?" the doctor asked.

"Like I have been stepping time or trying to at least," Alex responded.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, that I don't think I have figured out how to live in the present. When I was writing in that journal, I wrote some about how I felt at those moments, but it was always focused on what I would have done differently in the past or what I was wanting or dreaming of in the future."

"Okay, so when you read the journal and looked at the past what were you feeling?"

Alex smiled. "That's where the notebook comes in." She held it up for the doctor to see, turning the pages with hand written notes in hastily drawn columns. "Overriding theme-regret."

The doctor smiled noting all the work Alex had done. "Dr. Huang told me you are one hell of a prosecutor."

"That's sweet," she grinned. "I have a lot of respect for him professionally and adore him personally."

"So what were the most significant regrets?"

"The biggest one was easily that I hadn't told Olivia that I was in love with her prior to being shot. I'm not saying that I didn't have any fear at all that she felt the same way back then about me. But that wasn't the reason for me not telling her. It was all about my career then. And then I was shot and I was handed a new reality of how much control I actually possessed over the planet."

"And in the journal what was the overriding theme of the future?" the doctor asked.

"Fear," she replied. "Fear that the Alex I think Olivia was in love with was no longer there. The real sucker punch was my mom dying and not being able to go to her funeral, but more that she died thinking her daughter died before her. And with her death so much more of my identity as Alex Cabot was gone."

"And then by the time I came back for the Connors' trial I didn't feel much like Alex anymore. I didn't feel much of anything. But I did still feel for Olivia. But like I said last time, it was a combination of that fear and regret, where in one moment I'm thinking love her enough to let her go, and then telling her in a way by telling her I loved her, to hold on."

"That is where we ended last time. So what happened with you when you went to your next WPP identity and location?" Southerly asked.

"The first few months I felt hopeful again about a lot of things. I certainly felt some personal satisfaction that the bastard who shot me was behind bars. Liv telling me she loved me too had given me hope. But then the reality of the situation and once again my lack of control of it set in," Alex said.

"How do you mean?"

Alex sighed. "Yes, Connors' was probably the most skilled hit man in Velez's organization, but certainly not the only one. I had to accept the reality that certainly he being in prison was good for the world, but only one piece in a puzzle dictating my future."

"So when you were released from witness protection you wrote that you came back to New York to the DA's office as Bureau Chief. Why did you choose to come back to New York and to take that position?"

"Well about the only thing I missed as much as Olivia in WPP was the city. I thought that coming back to New York I could start finding some of me again. And I thought getting back to practicing law would help with that as well," Alex said.

"How did Olivia respond when you came back?"

"I didn't tell her," Alex said watching for the doctor's reaction before continuing. "I was afraid. Afraid for her to see me as vulnerable and broken as I was. I was afraid to see her and find she had moved on. My plan was to find Alex Cabot again and then I would go to her, and if she had moved on then I might just be cemented enough in my career again not to totally crumble."

"So when you have worked with Olivia has she ever said or done anything to make you think that she's believes victims of violent crimes are weak?" the doctor asked.

"No, not at all. One of the things I so admire about her is her ability to walk out of an interrogation room with a low life after breaking him and then into a room with a victim or a victim's family and consoling them."

"Okay," the doctor said. "Why don't you think she would be willing, and/or why aren't you willing to allow her to do the same for you as a victim of violent crime? I want you to think about that and then write about it for our next session on Thursday."


	12. Chapter 12

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 12 of ?

#-#

Friday's lunch with Olivia couldn't come soon enough for Alex. Bolstered by her second session of the week with Dr. Linda Southerly the day before, she was going to tell the detective that she still loved her, even if it had to be over sandwiches at Eddie's Deli.

As Alex stood outside the deli once more, she spotted the detective at the curb of the next block waiting with other pedestrians for the light change to cross the street. It was pretty brisk for a late May day and the detective was wearing Alex's favorite brown leather jacket, a white shirt and dark blue jeans. She noticed that Olivia was talking on her phone, but she was smiling, and Alex hoped that meant her case load had lightened.

#-#

"I'll be over as soon as I possibly can Erin," Olivia said into her phone. "Sucks that you guys lost without me Wednesday night."

"Yeah," Erin said. "I was awful. Actually struck out once. That's a travesty in slow pitch," she added laughing.

"Hey, hate to cut it short, but I've got to go. I'm meeting a friend for lunch and I'm late," Olivia responded.

"No worries, I've got a meeting in ten minutes anyway. I'll see you later."

"You will," Liv smiled and then ended the call.

#-#

"Hey Alex. Wasn't it almost 90 the other day?" the detective said. "Good to see you. How has your week been?"

"Pretty busy, but good," Alex replied as they entered Eddie's and stood in line to order.

"I take it you aren't working from home today," Olivia said noting the dark blue power suit Alex was dressed in and the long nylon covered legs that extended from the skirt.

"Been in meetings trying to get some uber-rich tightwads, supposed do gooders, to give some dollars for the women and children in Congo," she said removing her thin black framed glasses and placing them in the case in her purse.

"And," Olivia questioned.

"Think I got two of the four," Alex said.

"Well that is good," Olivia smiled. "It's a rough economy."

"Not for these four," Alex smiled. "I'll get the two fence hangers."

"I have no doubt," the detective added as they ordered their sandwiches.

As Alex took a bite of her pastrami sandwich the detective noticed she suddenly seemed to be a bit nervous.

"Everything okay Alex?"

Alex nodded yes trying to figure out how to segway into "I still love you." They were both good at dropping bombshells followed with little or no discussion which had caused way too much hurt, anger and fear.

"So did you bring any pictures from your time in Congo?" Olivia asked. "I would like to see them before you go back."

Alex paused and then looked Olivia directly in the eyes. "I'm not going back unless I absolutely have to."

"Really," the detective paused. "Why not?"

"To summarize the tip of the very large iceberg I am chipping away at, it turns out that Alex Cabot pre-Connors can't be found in Africa either. I've realized finally I need to stop staring into the past thinking I can change it or running to new things hoping to deny it."

"Alex," Olivia started while reaching a hand across the table to Alex's shoulder. "You have been through so much. You wouldn't be human if it hadn't affected you deeply."

"I thought if Nardalee was so strong to go back to face her fears that I should be fine by now. It turned out going down there triggered nightmares for me that I had thought were long gone," Alex sighed.

"Alex I'm so sorry," Olivia said as she continued to gently massage the blonde's upper arm and shoulder. "My definition of strong has changed. I spent a good deal of time with a great therapist about two years ago and I still go see her occasionally."

"Really," Alex said. "I was nervous to tell you that I am in counseling now. I thought you would think I was being weak. And you? Are you doing okay?"

Olivia grasped Alex's hands with her. "I've never seen you as weak. God no!"

"Thank you, that means a lot," Alex said. "You didn't answer about you though."

Elliot's ringtone emanated from Olivia's phone. "Shit," she said before answering.

"Hey," she said quickly into the phone.

"Hey partner. Captain wants us in his office ASAP. I don't know what about," Eliot said.

"I'm on my way," she said to Eliot. -

Olivia looked at Alex. "I had a really tough case, and Fin and George encouraged me to go and talk about it. For once I actually listened and I am glad I did."

"Me too," Alex said. "I'm glad Fin and George were there for you. George actually referred me to the doctor I'm seeing," she smiled.

"George is great that way," Olivia smiled. "I'm so sorry I have to go." She took a step to walk away and then stopped and turned. "Do you want to talk some more over some margaritas and fajitas Sunday evening?"

"Fuck," Alex thought to herself before answering. "I would love to, but I have to fly to D.C. Sunday afternoon. I come back Wednesday afternoon though. How about Wednesday night?"

"Can't Wednesday. Softball night," Olivia said. "I really have to go. Call me when you get back and we can schedule it. Take care."

#-#

Thirty minutes later Olivia and Elliot were on their way to Bridgeport, Connecticut to meet with detectives there on three open rape cases they had which matched the M.O. of the rapist and now murderer that was striking at the The Winston apartments. The timeline of the rapes in Bridgeport synched with the more than two months without an attack at The Winston's.

"So much for dinner with the wife," Elliot sighed as he drove up I-95 towards Bridgeport. "Is this excursion to Bridgeport going to ruin another hot date with 'Aaron'?" he asked.

"I guess that depends on what time we get back, but you could speed up a little," Olivia smiled.

"I can't exactly run lights and siren, as much as I would like to, for a case files meeting with two Bridgeport detectives," he grinned. "So we have about another 45 minutes until we get to Bridgeport do I get any more information about 'Aaron' yet?"

"Army," Olivia responded.

"Well not the Corp, but certainly better than Air Force," Elliot smiled. "Officer or enlisted?"

"Lieutenant Colonel," she said.

"Whoa," Eliot exclaimed. "Lite bird."

"With deployments to Somalia, Afghanistan and Iraq," Liv smiled.

"Infantry officer?" he asked.

"Nope MP, but PAO right now," she added.

"Well until PAO, I was going to call 'Aaron' Rambo," he smiled.

"Nah," Olivia laughed, having too much fun envisioning the image in Eliot's head of Erin. "Erin is much better looking. And I forgot to add, Air Assault badge too."

"I'm happy for you partner," he said seriously. "I haven't seen you smile so much in a very long time."

"Thanks El. It is still really new, but I really like Erin," she said.

"How did you meet?" he asked.

"We met through Casey. Erin is really good friends with Casey's boyfriend Jeff. They were in the same unit about 12 years ago I think, and have been friends ever since."

"Hey, Munch and Fin wanted to go for beers tonight, but obviously that is out. Why don't we all do that next Friday?" he asked. "You can bring 'Aaron' and maybe Casey and Jeff can come too."

"Well, I'll have to check with Erin," she replied, almost surprising herself with her answer.

"Oh," he added. "Since Alex is back in town, invite her too. Would be fun to have a little SVU reunion."

"Alex said at lunch today, she'll be in D.C. next week," Olivia said, not adding only until Wednesday.


	13. Chapter 13

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 13 of ?

#-#

"I'm not going back into the office," Elliot said as they neared the precinct about 8:15 that evening. "It's been a long day. Do you want me to drop you off at your apartment?"

"No thanks," Liv said. "My car is at the precinct. I'm going to drive up to Erin's." Olivia continued looking at a file from the Bridgeport detectives. "You know El, I think we got some good info today, and it was a good meeting, but I just feel like were missing a common link with the now six victims we know about."

"I definitely agree that it is the same guy doing the rapes in Bridgeport," Elliot said. "I'll be interested to see what Huang says after he reviews the Bridgeport cases."

#-#

Erin was talking on her phone and drinking a glass of wine when Olivia arrived around 9:30 with a duffle bag full of clothes for the weekend. Erin was dressed in a gray Texas A&M sweatshirt and white cotton, with small maroon Texas A&M logos, pajama pants.

Olivia gave her a quick peck on the cheek and whispered, "Okay if I go take a quick shower." Erin nodded.

"So during football season do you paint your face too?" Liv asked noticing Erin was off the phone when she came back in the living room after her shower.

"I've had a few Aggie temp tattoos over the years, but no full out face paint since I was an undergraduate. And why are you cracking on me Miss NYPD," Erin said noting Olivia's lettered gray sweatshirt and black athletic shorts."

Olivia smiled and walked towards Erin wrapping her arms around her. "Hi you," she said meeting Erin's lips with hers. "Everything okay? You sounded pretty serious on the phone."

Erin leaned back slightly in the embrace and smiled.

"That was my brother Dylan. I guess our dad tried to report for duty today at Fort Sam Houston. He was last assigned there in '78," she laughed. Erin led Olivia to the couch and as they sat she continued.

"I think I've been in a bit of denial that his occasional memory lapses and confusion could actually be dementia or even possibly Alzheimer's. Dylan kind of read me the riot act. He knows the reality. He lives in San Antonio only a couple of miles away from Dad."

"I'm sorry," Liv said.

"Dylan wants me to fly down and try to convince Dad to move into one of the veteran's assisted living places. Need to find one that is co-ed with some cute women on staff as well," Erin mused.

Olivia laughed. And then asked softly, "Your Mom?"

"Mom died in 2005. She had a heart attack. Totally unexpected," Erin sighed. "They got divorced right after Dylan graduated high school. I was a junior at A&M. Let's just say my dad enjoyed having women in the military. I thought when I was a child it was all about progressive thinking on his part until I figured out in high school his main reason for liking women in the military."

Erin took a sip of wine. "So what about your family?"

"Not much to tell," Olivia responded while getting up to get a beer. "Do you need more wine?"

"No, I'm good," Erin replied.

"My Mom died a few years ago," she said as she was taking extra time in the kitchen getting the beer. "And I never knew my father. I have a half-brother who I have seen a handful of times."

The detective sat back down on the couch. "The guys I work with are like family to me. So when do you think you'll go to Texas?"

"Probably in the next few weeks for a couple of days so Dylan and his wife don't want to kill him or me. Why?" she asked.

"Well next Friday my partner and Fin and Munch want to go for drinks after work and we were going to invite Casey and Jeff too, so I wanted to see if you wanted to meet the crew," Olivia said.

"I would like that," Erin smiled. "So I take it you are out to your co-workers?"

"You want some more wine," the detective quipped smiling. Erin arched a curious eyebrow. The detective's mind raced with all sorts of possibilities of "fails" her next words might bring.

"You would be the first woman I have introduced them to," Olivia sighed.

"So your bi?"

"Yeah," Olivia paused. "I guess I am."

"You guess," Erin exclaimed smiling. "All right detective out with it. First woman you have wanted them to meet, or first, first woman."

"Both," Olivia said looking at her feet.

"Wow," Erin smiled. "I'm honored and shocked. Come here," she said stretching her legs around the detective and pulling her head and shoulders against her chest.

"Do I give off that huge of a gay vibe?" Olivia asked.

"Well you did say I was gorgeous within 30 seconds of meeting me," Erin countered.

"But you weren't supposed to hear that," Olivia laughed.

"Aw, but I did," she laughed. "And it was only confirmation of what your eyes had already said."

"That's because you look like Abbie," Olivia rebutted.

"Bullshit," Erin laughed. "Heidi hetero doesn't look at me the way you did."

"I've always been able to appreciate beauty," Liv laughed. "But you're right I was checking you out."

Erin started giggling.

"What is so funny?" Liv said.

"I just never would have guessed I would have earned another toaster oven being with you."

"Shut up," Liv said laughing.

"No," Erin said becoming serious. "You just seemed so at ease and confident from the minute we met and you are amazing in bed. Well, in the shower and against the wall too, so I just assumed you had been with other women."

"Thank you," Liv said.

"So can I ask you a question?" Erin asked.

"Sure," Olivia replied.

"Have you wanted to be with other women before me?"

"One," Liv said.

"And?"

"Life had other plans and then she did too," Liv said turning her body to face Erin. "I'm where I want to be right now."

She paused. "Actually, I'm not. I haven't been naked with you in your bed for five long days."

"I was afraid you were going to be too tired tonight," Erin smiled.

"Definitely not," Olivia said grabbing Erin's hand and pulling her off the couch. "Besides I'm a rookie. I need more practice."

#-#

"Hey, hold on a second," Liv said into her iPhone while walking away from the crowded table at Madison's Sports Bar. "Sorry Alex," she continued. "It's loud here. So I take it you got back home from D.C.?"

"No, that's why I am calling. Going to have to reschedule our dinner tomorrow night," Alex said.

"Are you okay?" Liv asked.

"I'm fine. We were just supposed to meet with the ambassador to Congo today, but he got delayed overseas, so now we can't meet with him until tomorrow afternoon. I won't be back until late tomorrow night," Alex sighed.

"I'm sorry Alex. That's great that you are meeting with the ambassador though. You are obviously kicking some ass! Well, how about we get together Sunday afternoon? I'll keep Sunday open and even pray that the perps will let me too," Olivia said.

"Sunday sounds good," Alex said. "Where are you by the way that it is so loud?"

"We're at the sports bar that sponsors our team. The team comes basically after each game," she laughed. "They give us some free beer and they have great wings."

"Benson," Casey yelled, not noticing the detective was on her phone.

"Was that Casey?" Alex asked.

"Yep," Liv said noticing Casey approaching.

"Tell her I said 'Hello,'" Alex said.

"I will. Good luck tomorrow with your meeting."

"Thanks Liv. I'm really hoping we will be able to talk without any emergency calls on Sunday."

"Me too. Take care, Alex."

#-#

"What's up Casey?" Liv said putting her phone back in its case on her waist.

"So how's Alex?"

"She seems to be doing pretty well. She's in counseling dealing with some issues," Liv responded.

"And are you one of those issues?" Casey asked.

"She hasn't said so," Liv said abruptly.

"Have you told Alex about Erin?" Casey asked.

"No, I haven't. I have had two interrupted lunches with Alex since Erin and I have been dating. And I like Erin. I like Erin a lot."

"But?" Casey asked probing for more.

"Alex is just going through a rough time right now. I just don't think me telling her that I am seeing someone is what she wants to hear right now," Olivia said.

"So you think she still loves you?"

"Hell Casey! I don't know, but it feels like we are putting back together a friendship, and I don't want to drive her away."

"Have you said anything to Erin about Alex?"

"I told her that there was a woman I wanted to be with, but it didn't work out," Olivia said.

"Erin is a really good person," Casey started before being interrupted by Olivia.

"I know that," Olivia said glaring at Casey. "I'm not fuckin' with her. I really like her."

"I know, I'm sorry Liv. I just don't want to see anyone get hurt."

"Me either," Liv said. "Now let's go get another beer."

"Bring it on," Casey smiled.


	14. Chapter 14

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 14 of ?

#-#

"Hey you how did it go with Fin and Munch?" Erin said answering her phone.

"Very, very cool," Olivia responded. "I don't know why I was so nervous. Just pulled them into an interrogation room and pulled up that pic Casey took of us at Madison's on Wednesday on my phone."

"Awesome," Erin laughed. "I'll feel much less like a lesbian lab rat then."

"Hey do you want me to tell Elliot ahead of time then?" Liv questioned. "It's fine if you."

"No, let's stick to the surprise angle," Erin interrupted. I want to see your partner's reaction. Got to have some fun with it all."

Liv laughed. "That was the only thing Fin and Munch were upset about. They want to see El's reaction. I told them I would take at least one picture."

"No," Erin laughed. He is your partner. I think it is best he gets to meet me first, and we get a little chance to talk before we have a full table," Erin said.

"Ok," Liv sighed. "I'll see you at Humphrey's with Elliot at five. Munch reserved a table in the back."

"See if you can have Elliot seated where he's not looking directly at the entrance," Erin added.

"Hey Erin," Olivia started. "Just-thank you very much."

"You're welcome," Erin laughed. "You still have friends of mine to meet."

#-#

"Since you keep looking at your watch every five minutes, why don't we just wrap up and get out of here now," Elliot said across his desk to Olivia.

"Sounds good," Olivia said. "We'll only be a few minutes early."

"Definitely not too early to have a drink. It's been a long week," Elliot smiled.

#-#

"Love you too," Elliot said disconnecting the call. "Kathy changed her mind she's going to come too."

"That's might be good," Liv said fidgeting with the label of her beer.

"Might be good?" Elliot questioned. He was seated at the end of the rectangular table with his back to the wall. Humphrey's was constructed as a long and slender rectangle. The front part of the establishment contained the slender L-shaped bar, lined with stools. Across from the bar were six wood booths and two small elevated tables with stools.

"I just meant it will be good for Kathy to meet Erin tonight too," Liv said.

The back area of the bar where they were, descended by two slight stairs, and was brighter than the front, illuminated for the two dartboards and pool tables. Olivia was seated across the table from Elliot, and although she saw Erin enter Humphrey's, she instead looked down and reached for her phone.

"Just got a text. Erin's running a few minutes late," Olivia said.

Erin walked to the far end of the long bar where she was in Elliot's field of view. She ordered a beer and then pretended to take a call on her phone, laughing hard enough to ensure the noise would garner Elliot's attention. He looked in her direction and she shot him a smile, still pretending to be carrying on a conversation on her phone.

"Liv," Elliot said. "Don't make it obvious, but there's a woman behind you at the end of the bar, white blouse, black belt and blue jeans that looks almost like a dead ringer for Carmichael."

"Really," Liv said trying not to laugh, and unaware of exactly what Erin planned next. Liv turned her head slightly to eye Erin. "Yes, your right," she said to Elliot. "There's a resemblance."

Elliot tried to eye Erin discreetly, but she saw him looking and smiled again at him and added a wink, while putting away her phone.

"Hi there handsome," Erin said sliding into the chair at the head of the table between Elliot and Olivia, and placing a shot glass of whiskey in front of him. "It's been a long week and I need someone to toast the start of the weekend with."

"Um," he started.

"Hell, it is just a shot," Olivia said.

"I saw you looking at me cowboy," Erin said almost causing Olivia to spit out her sip of beer.

"Well I was looking, but not just because you are very attractive, but also because you look like an old friend of ours," he said.

"Abbie Carmichael," she smiled. "That's what Casey and Liv said when they first met me."

There was a moment of silence as Elliot began to process the clues.

"It's great to meet you Detective Stabler," Erin said extending her hand to shake his. "I'm Lt. Col. E-R-I-N Mathison. You want to do that shot now?"

"Wow," he smiled and lifted his shot glass to meet Erin's. "Cheers to you and my partner!"

"Hey babe," Erin said to Olivia after finishing her shot. "I need to run to the restroom. Will you order a Chardonnay for me if the waitress comes around?"

"You okay El?" Olivia asked as Erin walked away.

He laughed. "She got me good here. But, what was with over three weeks of pronouns with you."

"That's where you are wrong Elliot. I never said "he" or "she," you just assumed."

"You're right," he said. "And you have been really happy since you have started seeing her, so that's all that matters to me."

"Thanks, that means a lot to me partner. She's really great and I like her a lot."

He laughed again. "I have to give you props partner. When you go gay, you go good. She is hot."

"Damn, don't I know it," she smiled. Olivia noticed Erin waiting over by one of the pool tables and gestured for her to come back to the table. Erin took a seat in the chair to Olivia's right.

#-#

"Hey Alex," Fin said.

"How are you?" Alex asked. "I was hoping to catch Olivia, but it looks like she already left."

"Yeah, she and Elliot went to Humphrey's about an hour ago," Munch said. "But Fin and I are headed down there in a few if you want to walk with us."

"Sure that sounds good," Alex said.

"I'm glad you're here Alex," Fin said. "Olivia said you were in D.C. this week and you wouldn't be able to make it this time."

"Really," Alex started and then caught herself. "I told her that I might have to stay in D.C. through tonight," she lied. "But I was able to come back last night."

"Casey and her boyfriend Jeff are in visiting with the captain," Munch said.

"I'm really glad they were able to make it," Alex said trying to hide her hurt and anger that Olivia had not invited her to Humphrey's, and that she was only finding out about it because she had come to the precinct hoping to catch the detective at work and take her for drinks or to dinner.

"Alex," Cragen called out after opening his office door for Casey and Jeff, seeing the blonde former ADA standing by Munch's desk.

"How are you doing?" Alex asked the captain. "It's good to see you."

"Doing good Alex," he responded. "Sure wish I didn't have a dinner I have to go to tonight. Would love to join you all at Humphrey's."

"Well, we will just have to do it again so you can join us all," Alex smiled.

All hopes Casey had for a potentially awkward situation at best evaporated. "Hey Alex," she said, her mind racing and still hoping that maybe Olivia had told Alex about Erin and invited her too. "This is my boyfriend, Jeff."

"Nice to meet you Jeff," Alex said shaking his hand.

"You all ready to head out?" Munch asked.

"Mind if I run to the ladies' room first," Casey stated rather than asked.

#-#

"C'mon Liv pick up," Casey said leaning against the interior side of the bathroom door.

"Hey are you guys on your way yet?" Liv answered.

"Please tell me you invited Alex and just forgot to tell me?" Casey said.

"What?" Olivia said, getting up to walk away from the table with Erin, Elliot and Kathy.

"Jeff and I walked out of Cragen's office and she was standing by Munch's desk, and she's going to be walking down to Humphrey's with all of us. Do you think Elliot invited her?"

"No," Olivia said. "He would have told me. Fuck! Does she know about Erin?"

"I don't know, but she will in a few minutes."

"Will you try and find out what she knows on the way over and then give me a signal when you get here," Olivia said.

"That's your plan?" Casey asked.

"I have no fuckin' clue right now. But thank you for calling Casey. At least you've given 10 minutes to come up with one."


	15. Chapter 15

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 15 of ?

#-#

Elliot read the text message on his phone as Olivia started walking back to the table.

_Follow my lead P_

"That was Casey, the gang is headed down shortly," Olivia said as she stood next to where Erin was seated at the table. "I'm going to go get us all another round. Our waitress is too slow. And Elliot, Casey said she wants the shots you owe her waiting for her when she arrives."

"Damn that woman has a long memory," Elliot improvised. "I think that pool game was three years ago," he said as he got up from his chair to walk with Olivia to the bar.

Olivia led Elliot to an opening at the bar between stools out of direct sight of Kathy and Erin.

"Alex is coming and I didn't invite her because she doesn't, or until a few minutes ago at least, know about Erin," Olivia said quickly.

"So you and Alex are?" Elliot started.

"No, we're not, but hell partner-it is just complicated. Help me tonight and I promise I'll answer any questions later."

"So what do you want me to do?" he asked.

"For starters just try to keep any discussion of Erin and me as a couple away. And try to keep Alex engaged in conversation. I'm sure you and Kathy really want to hear all about her task force and time in Congo."

"You really think Alex being here is going to be that awkward?" he asked.

"I will smile some if it is only awkward," she responded. "Look El, at a minimum she is pissed and likely hurt that I didn't invite her. And I've only told Erin that there was a woman that I had wanted to be with. I didn't tell her it was Alex."

She paused and then said, "Alex and I, I think we were about to become a couple before she got shot. Since she has been back and then back again, I don't know what she feels for me. When she left for the task force, I thought I had my answer from her and I should finally move on. Now lately she has been opening up to me again some. I don't want her hurt and I don't want Erin hurt."

"So do you still love her?" Elliot asked.

"I think a part of me always will, but that's not always enough."

"You deserve to be truly happy partner," Elliot said wrapping an arm around her shoulder. "We should probably get these drinks back to the table. By the way, does Casey know about the shots?"

"No," Liv smiled. "But she'll figure it out. She called me to let me know Alex was coming."

#-#

"Hey Kathy," Elliot said as he set the tray with drinks on the end of the table. "Why don't you slide next to Erin? And I'll sit at the head of the table."

Olivia glanced at the text message from Casey on her phone. _Courtroom cool_

"Sure," Kathy said. "I thought there were just going to be eight of us though."

"Alex is coming too," Elliot said casually, but loud enough for Erin to hear. "She is back from her trip to D.C."

"Yes, I am," Alex said placing a hand on Kathy's shoulder from behind. "It's great to see you."

Hearing Alex's voice followed quickly by Casey's, Erin slid her chair back and stood up. Casey intended to introduce Alex to Erin, but Alex didn't give her the opportunity. Munch and Fin stood behind Alex waiting to greet Kathy and meet Erin.

"Hello," she said extending a hand to Erin. "You must be Erin. I'm Alex Cabot."

"Nice to meet you Alex," Erin said shaking Alex's extended hand. "Liv said…"

Alex interrupted and deliberately lied, "Liv said we were meeting at the precinct." She gave a smirk and then continued, walking towards Olivia. "Glad Munch updated me on the plans LIV. I must have missed a message from you."

"I'm sorry Alex," Olivia said looking directly at her. "It has just been a really busy week."

"No worries," Alex said not breaking the eye contact. "Munch and Fin told me about the active case you are working. The big one that you hadn't mentioned. It obviously is taking a lot of your time and attention."

Olivia knew exactly the "case" Alex was referring to and she was grateful that Munch and Fin had walked over and engaged Erin in conversation. Jeff was talking to Kathy and Elliot and Casey was standing behind Alex, but turned partially towards Erin, Munch and Fin.

"It is," Olivia responded, but Alex kept walking. "But I should have told you," Olivia tried to continue, but Alex was already around the other side of the table. She took the seat to the left of Elliot, directly across from Kathy and slightly diagonal from Erin who was still standing talking to Munch and Fin.

Casey moved around the table to sit next to Alex and Jeff sat next to Casey.

Munch and Fin filled out the table with Fin sitting next to Olivia and Munch next to Jeff.

"So how is the task force work going Alex?" Elliot asked.

"It is going well," Alex said reaching into her purse to grab her black framed glasses.

Elliot noted the glasses and asked hopefully, "Did you bring any pictures from Congo to show us?"

"No, next time I promise. I'm just a little in the dark over here," she paused. "And I want to see everything clearly."

"I'd like to see the pictures too," Casey added.

"I just need to carry them in my purse then," Alex smiled. "Liv wanted me to bring them the last time we were together, but…"

Olivia interrupted, glaring at Alex. "But our lunch was cut short by Elliot's call for the trip to Bridgeport."

"Yeah Elliot," Erin said reaching her right arm around the back of Olivia's chair and looking in between Elliot and Alex and smiling. "There has been several times where I have really hated the sound of your ringtone on Liv's phone."

"We've been really busy lately," Elliot said breathing a sigh of relief seeing the waitress approaching their table.

As the others ordered fresh drinks, Erin leaned over and whispered in Olivia's ear. "So tell me detective, does it piss you off more when a suspect tells you half-truths or outright lies?"

"I'm sorry Erin," Liv whispered back. "Yes, Alex is the woman I told you about, but I am not sleeping with her."

"Hey Elliot, since your wife and Munch seem to be engrossed in conversation over there, how about a game of pool?" Erin said sliding her chair out from the table and standing up.

Olivia and Alex exchanged glares as Elliot and Erin left the table. Rather than engage Alex and say something she might regret Olivia got up and walked out the front of Humphrey's to try and clear her head. Alex started to rise from her chair, but Casey put a hand on her arm and told her to stay.

"I have a few things to say to her," Alex said staring at Casey.

"Actually, I think you have more than a few things to say to her," Casey replied. "But this isn't the place to do it. Erin is my friend and she doesn't deserve to be treated like shit by you because of unresolved issues between you and Olivia. And frankly the rest of us wanted to have a fun evening as well."

"What do you mean by more than a few things to say? So you think it is bullshit that she didn't tell me about Erin or this little get together tonight too?" Alex asked.

"Fuck, Cabot," Casey said angrily. "Is that what you really care about it? Winning this argument with her." She grabbed the second shot of whiskey that Elliot had placed in front of her a few minutes ago and slammed it grimacing slightly at the burn in her throat.

"What I am saying is be honest with yourself and her. You are pissed because it's Erin fucking her and not you. So if you love her and you still want her you need to tell her, and if you don't or you're not sure you need to let her go once and for all."

"So that means she still has feelings for me," Alex said.

"That means you need to bring your case to trial or drop the charges. Not here, not now, but soon," Casey said.

Alex paused still looking at Casey.

"Spit it out Cabot."

"I definitely appreciate what you have told me, but you are friends with Erin," Alex said.

"And Olivia and I'd like to think we are too. Look Alex, Erin and Olivia haven't been seeing each other long, but they are good together. But you and Olivia are not resolved one way or the other. And now that Erin knows that for sure, let's just say there needs to be a verdict so everyone can move forward."

#-#

"They're both fine women," Fin said as he approached the detective who was standing in the alley just around the corner of Humphrey's. "But so are you."

"Any drinks being thrown?" she laughed sarcastically.

"No," Fin smiled. "I thought I'd give you a minute before I came out, but when I got up El and Erin were still talking smack at the pool table and Casey and Alex were talking."

"Liv, I didn't know you and Cabot had been together," he said. "I thought maybe you all had a thing way back and then…"

"We haven't been together. And yes I should have told her about Erin, but she had no right to come in here and act like that with Erin," Liv said.

"I couldn't hear everything that was said, but I certainly could feel the tension," he replied. "I think you and Alex need to get real with each other. And I know there is plenty I don't know, but if she wanted to be with you, why the hell did she leave again?"

"That's one of many questions I still have," Olivia replied.

"I'll just say in all the time I've known you, since you have been with Erin is the happiest I've seen you."

"You make a very valid point," Olivia said. "We should probably go back in. Thank you Fin."


	16. Chapter 16

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 16 of ?

#-#

"Hey Erin," Liv said sliding a tentative arm around the dark haired woman's waist. "Could we go outside and talk a minute?"

"After this game," Erin responded still directing her eyes towards Elliot who was trying to line up his next shot. "This is the tiebreak game."

"Any wagers on this?" Olivia asked watching Elliot leaning over the table targeting one of his two remaining solids.

"Elliot I've decided," Erin said. "When I win I want Slippery Nipples."

Elliot laughed and rose slightly from the table. "I'm thinking you have had more than a few of those. Time for some tequila."

"I thought you said we were drinking Cosmos if you win," Erin laughed.

Elliot quickly cleared his two remaining solids. "Eight ball in the corner," he called.

"Nice game jarhead," Erin said smiling as the 8 ball dropped. "I'll go get the Cuervo."

#-#

"God, I hate tequila," Erin said as she walked out the front entrance of the bar with Olivia. "Where are we going?"

"Just around the corner here," the detective said.

"Is this where you went earlier?" Erin asked leaning slightly against the brick wall of the building.

"Yes, I just needed to think a little."

"And, did you come up with anything profound?" Erin asked.

"That I'm really sorry," Olivia said leaning forward and pushing her body into Erin's. "And," she said placing a kiss on the pulse point of her neck, "that I want to take you back to my place…"

Erin slid out from the wall.

"So you think you can just fuck away the lies and half-truths? Guess what Liv, you aren't using my body tonight to fuck Alex," Erin stated angrily.

The detective bit her bottom lip before responding. "That is not what I was trying to do."

Erin paced a few steps in the alley, waiting for the group of pedestrians on the sidewalk to pass by.

"The last part I said was a cheap shot," Erin admitted. "I can't talk about all of this right now. I'm still pissed and a little buzzed. Will you answer me this?"

"What?" Olivia said softly.

"When we talk about us and Alex will you tell me the truth, the whole truth?"

"Yes," she said grabbing one of Erin's hands and looking into her eyes. "Erin-I really like you. I really like us. Will you please still stay at my place tonight? Just stay and then we will talk in the morning if you want to."

"Let me think about it over another beer or two," Erin replied.

"Sure, but you aren't driving home."

"I know but I always could get a ride home with Casey and Jeff," Erin said.

"Then you would have to come back for your car anyway," Olivia said.

"Well, not necessarily. I bet Casey and Jeff will stay sober enough…"

"Yes," Liv half-smiled. "I realize you have options for getting home. I am just hoping you'll stay."

"How comfortable is your couch?" Erin asked.

"Really comfy, I crash out on it a lot, but…"

"No, that's good," Erin smiled. "I just want to make sure that you don't wake up with a sore back tomorrow. We have a tough game."

"Well that's a start." Liv smiled.

"Buy me a beer and I might throw in a pillow," Erin smiled.

"Deal," Olivia said as they walked back in the bar.

"I'm going to go to the restroom while you get the beers."

#-#

"Alex," Erin said surprised as she came out of one of the two stalls in the restroom and saw the former ADA leaning against the wall by the paper towel dispenser. "I think both stalls are open."

"I know," Alex said. "I came in here to talk to you."

"Look, I don't want to make this night anymore uncomfortable for everybody else. Kathy said it has been a long time since you all got together socially," Erin said while washing her hands.

"I agree," Alex said. "I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have treated you the way I did earlier."

"Thank you," Erin said looking directly into Alex's unobstructed blue eyes. "I'm sorry too. I wasn't exactly pleasant."

"I'm going to go now," Alex said.

"Alex wait," Erin said seeing the blonde reaching for the door handle. "Why don't you stay?"

"What?" Alex asked perplexed.

"Well honestly, I'm not ready to throw back shots with you," Erin cracked a half smile, "but these are your friends. I think they would like it if you stayed."

"I'm not usually one for shots anyway," Alex smiled. "Thank you. I think I will have another glass of wine."

#-#

"Where's Alex?" Olivia asked Casey as she sat back down at the table, beers in hand.

"I think she is in the bathroom talking with Erin," Casey said.

"You let her…"

"Olivia," Casey interrupted. "Look," she pointed towards the back of the bar. "No black eyes or lost teeth that I can see."

"Thanks for the beer," Erin said sliding in the seat next to Olivia.

"You and Alex talked?" Olivia asked.

"Yep, we both agreed we're too buzzed to fight in heels," Erin cracked and Casey laughed.

"And?" Olivia tried.

"And nothing. We both agreed to behave and she's getting another drink," Erin said.

"I'm thinking it is good we don't play until five tomorrow," Casey said changing the subject and pointing to her drink.

"I know. Do they serve any food here?" Erin asked.

"No," Casey said. "But they let the pizza place just down the street deliver here. I could use something to eat too."

Casey moved first to the end of the table where Kathy had pulled a chair and was still talking to Munch and Fin. Alex approached with a glass of Chardonnay in hand and Fin slid a chair around by Kathy so Alex could join the conversation. Casey took roll of who wanted pizza and topping preferences and then walked to the pool table where Jeff and Elliot were playing.

"I like this guy," Elliot said to Casey.

"Talking sports or military I assume," Casey smiled. Elliot and Jeff both laughed.

"Actually, we've been discussing the highlights and challenges of beings dads of daughters," Jeff replied. "I think we need to find a way to freeze Amelia at 12 years-old," he laughed and gave Casey a kiss on the cheek.

"I didn't mean to scare you Jeff," Elliot said. "She sounds like a great kid."

#-#

Casey tapped Olivia on the shoulder.

"Why don't you come with me to get the pizzas," she said.

"I thought they delivered," Olivia replied.

"They do, but everybody seems cool with just sausage and pepperoni so we can just walk down there and get two of the ready-made ones. It would be a lot quicker than calling in and waiting for them to deliver."

"Go ahead," Erin said. "I'm going to challenge Elliot and Jeff in a game of cutthroat."

#-#

"Thanks a lot for all your help tonight Casey," Olivia said as they exited the bar.

"Okay, you need to listen, Liv," Casey said sternly. "You fucked up by not telling Erin about Alex and not telling Alex about Erin."

"I know," she responded. "I just…"

"No just, no excuses, own up to it," Casey said. "I don't know what Alex will do, but I know that if you aren't completely honest and open with Erin from this point forward she will be gone, no matter how much she likes you."

"Yeah, she pretty much told me that already when we were outside earlier," Olivia said. "Casey, I was going to tell Alex, but she has been going through a lot and the two lunches that we've had since Erin and I got together we're both cut short by work calls."

Casey took a step ahead of Olivia and then spun and stood in front of her.

"Bullshit! Your half-truths and rationalizations are going to leave you sitting home alone again," Casey said. "At least part of your decision and only you know how much, to not tell either of them was so you could see if Alex still loved you."

"You're right," Olivia nodded.

"And don't worry, I gave Alex an earful too," Casey said.

"You did? Maybe you should be our moderator."

"Oh, hell no!" Casey exclaimed. "Like I told her, you two need to get together soon and finally be honest with each other."

"What did she say?"

"She agreed. And I would advise the same of you. Now let's actually walk and get the pizzas," Casey said.

"You're a good friend Casey, although I feel a little lighter in the ass now."

Casey leaned her head back slightly. "Nope, still there, and still sexy."

"What?"

"I'm straight Liv, but I'm not blind."

#-#

Alex placed her empty glass of wine on the table and said her goodbyes to Kathy, Fin, and Munch and then walked over to the pool table to do the same with Elliot, Jeff, and Erin.

"I'll walk you out," Elliot said.

"Okay, thanks" Alex said. "It might take a couple of minutes to get a cab."

They walked towards the door.

"Listen El, I know I acted like an ass earlier and I am sorry."

"I'm concerned about what happens going forward," he said. "Look Alex, we have had our share of battles over the years, but I do have a lot of respect for you, and Kathy and I both consider you a friend. You and my partner, and I know this might not only sound ironic, but also a bit hypocritical coming from me, you need to talk, really talk."

"Thank you," Alex said. "And I do finally get that now," she smiled.

"Hey Alex," Casey called. Elliot walked away from Alex and towards Olivia. "Hey partner, I'll take the pizzas inside."

Casey walked to Alex and gave her a quick hug.

"Thanks for talking with me Casey," Alex said.

"You're welcome. Take care," Casey said as she walked back into Humphrey's.

Alex and Olivia stood on the sidewalk looking at each other, both momentarily silent.

"I'm sorry," they blurted at the same time.

"Listen Alex," Olivia said. "I would like to still get together Sunday and talk."

"Yes, I think we need to talk, really talk."

"Yes we do," Olivia said closing the distance between them and giving Alex a hug. "I'll call you Sunday morning," she said softly in her ear.

Olivia started to pull away, but Alex wrapped her arms around her tightly.

"Thank you," she whispered placing a soft kiss just below the detective's ear.

The cab driver honked his horn and Olivia pulled away from the embrace and opened the cab door for Alex.

"I'll see you Sunday," Olivia said.


	17. Chapter 17

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 17 of ?

#-#

"Oh hell no," Liv mumbled to herself, awakening just enough that she could no longer deny the annoying buzzing sound. She stumbled off the side of her bed closest to the living room, which was not normally the side she slept on, but it was better than alone on the couch, and walked in pursuit of the noise.

Erin was still sound asleep or passed out on the other side of the bed near the clock which read 5:53 a.m. Elliot and Erin had wagered shots on pool game after pool game until just about five hours before when Kathy and Liv had decided for both of them that the night was over.

The noise stopped briefly when Olivia made it to the living room, so she walked to the refrigerator to grab a bottle of water. As she took a drink, the noise started again and she tracked it to Erin's purse. She reached in the purse and found Erin's phone and saw Dylan listed on the caller ID. The call went to voice mail before she could wake up Erin, and when it did the screen displayed one voicemail and two missed calls from Dylan.

"Erin, Erin," Olivia said rubbing the dark haired woman's back to help wake her.

"What?" Erin finally mumbled.

"Dylan has called like 3 times in the last 15 minutes," Olivia said.

"Shit," Erin said rolling over and reaching for the phone from Olivia.

"I'm going to go make us some coffee," the detective said placing a kiss on Erin's head. "I hope everything is okay."

"Thanks," Erin started. "Fuck my head hurts. Is my bag here? I need my toothbrush."

"Yes," Liv smiled. "I drove your car here and brought you and your bag up. You better call Dylan."

After a few minutes Erin came out of the bedroom and into the kitchen to get the cup of coffee Olivia had poured for her.

"Dylan, I'll call you back as soon as I have the arrangements made. I'm going to have to call my boss and get it approved," Erin said.

#-#

Erin finished the call and put her phone down on the kitchen counter. She stretched her arms out above her head and looked blankly at the ceiling and sighed. Olivia approached and wrapped her arms around her waist.

"You okay babe?" she asked.

Erin sighed again and then let out a short sarcastic laugh.

"I don't know," Erin said. "I'm trying to figure out if it is ironic that on the same night I drink more than I think I have since a few college parties, my dad blows 12 plus years of sobriety and ends up in a jail cell on disorderly conduct and PI charges."

"I'm sorry," Olivia said strengthening her embrace.

"Do you have any Advil or anything like it?" Erin asked. "And can I get on your laptop. I need to book a flight."

"Sure," Olivia replied.

"I can't believe I slept in my jeans," Erin remarked looking down at herself.

"Well, you were cooperative with changing your shirt, but then you were out."

"I feel like shit and I look like shit," Erin laughed. "I'm surprised you didn't want to sleep on the couch."

Liv smiled. "Advil, aspirin and more in the bathroom. Why don't you go shower and I'll start looking up flights."

"Thanks," Erin said. "Prefer Continental out of JFK or LaGuardia this afternoon and coming back Tuesday night or Wednesday morning. American is fine too."

#-#

"Come here," Olivia said pointing at the computer screen. "These look like the best options, but you'll have to connect in Houston."

"I figured. Not many non-stops to San Antonio," Erin said taking a seat next to the detective on the couch. "2:40 flight going out looks good. Now that it's past seven, I'm going to call my colonel and see what day he wants me back."

"So you know he'll give you the time?" Liv asked.

"Yeah," Erin said. "I told him last week I was going to need to take a few days soon, and he was fine with it. I guess I'll just tell him that dad had another memory lapse," she smirked and started to get up from the couch.

"Wait," Olivia said and then sighed. "My mom, my mom was an alcoholic, but she never got sober. She died in a fall down some steps. She was drunk."

"God, Liv. I'm sorry," Erin said.

"I want you to know you can talk to me about it and I probably can relate," Olivia replied.

"Over 12 fuckin years and he goes back out and drinks. I had finally stopped worrying about him relapsing when he hit seven years sober," Erin said. "That's when I finally began to trust him enough to get close to him again."

"What did your brother say?"

"Well for starters he's not sure if dad is still drunk or really doesn't remember shit, but he did call his AA sponsor from jail. I want to take that as a positive sign, but then again why the hell didn't he call him before he took a drink."

"You know even those with…" Liv started.

"Thanks," Erin said giving Olivia a kiss on the cheek. "I better call my boss before he gets on the golf course."

#-#

After calling her colonel and booking her flight Erin paused at Olivia's apartment door scanning the living room to see if she had forgotten anything.

"I'll walk you to your car," Liv said.

"Is it far away?" Erin asked.

"No, just down the street to the left."

"Thanks Liv, but no need since it is close. I can find it," Erin said.

"You sure you don't want me to ride up with you and then take you to the airport?" Olivia asked standing in front of Erin by the door.

"No, I appreciate the offer though. Can I have a kiss goodbye though?"

"Absolutely," Olivia smiled.

"I better go," Erin said pulling away from the deep kiss.

"Call me when you get to San Antonio please," Olivia said.

"I will, and I'm glad I was here with you this morning when Dylan called. You helped a lot and I appreciate it," Erin said.

Liv leaned forward and gave Erin another kiss.

"I am going to miss you," she said almost surprising herself at the truth.

"You too," Erin smiled. "But we still have a lot to talk about when I get back."

"I know," Liv replied.

#-#

Olivia tried to go back to sleep after Erin left, but after 30 minutes of lying on her bed snuggling the pillow that Erin had slept on, she decided to go on a short run.

As she ran she cranked the volume to the headphones of her iPod, hoping the music would relax her racing mind. She thought of calling Alex since she was going to be free until softball at five, but decided that it was best they keep their talk on Sunday as scheduled so she wouldn't have to leave, and hopefully would be more rested emotionally and physically.

Then she thought of timing, and questioned why she had met Erin when she had. What if Casey hadn't asked her to play softball, then she would be free to choose Alex, or at least something with Alex, now that she pretty much knew for sure that the blonde still had feelings for her.

She wondered why from the start of their still very new relationship, if that is what it was, but she knew in her mind at least it was already, that real conversation with Erin was easier than it had been with anyone else she had ever dated or had a relationship with. Was it just Erin? Was it that she was finally just being more open and honest herself. It still scared the hell out of her to let someone in, but yet she was finding the honesty refreshing and rewarding. And she had already learned how quickly a half-truth, a lie of omission, could back-fire with Erin.

#-#

"Hey Olivia."

"How you doing Alex?"

"I thought you had softball tonight?" Alex questioned.

"I did," Olivia said into her phone. "Early game and I'm headed home, so I thought I'd call about tomorrow. Do you want to meet for brunch, like 10:30?"

"That's good," Alex said. "But do you think maybe I could cook or pick up something so we can eat at my place and talk in private?"

"I'm sorry. I've got all day. I wasn't meaning just brunch," Liv laughed slightly. "I just wasn't going to offer to cook."

"Why don't you just come over at 10:30?" Alex laughed. "There will be food. I'll determine when I wake up whether I want to cook it or buy it."

"Well, I'll call before I come over and I can pick up something on my way, if needed."

"You okay Liv?" Alex asked.

"I'm pretty tired, but I'm okay and you?"

"I'm looking forward to seeing you tomorrow and talking, but I have to admit I'm nervous too," Alex said.

"Me too," Liv said. "Try to get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning."

#-#

"Hey Erin, are you at your brother's?" Liv asked.

"No, delayed 40 minutes in Houston. Just got in my rental car. What are you doing?" Erin asked.

"Lounging on my couch and flipping channels."

"Did we win tonight?" Erin asked.

"Yes, 10-2. It was an easy game and not nearly as much fun without you," Liv said.

"Well I just drove around the terminal again," Erin laughed. "Going to blame it on airport construction, but God I'm exhausted. I should get off my phone so I can find my way to Dylan's."

"Okay. Be careful," Liv said. "Will you call me some time tomorrow and give me an update on your dad?"

"I will. Get yourself some sleep," Erin said.

"How far to Dylan's house from the airport?" Liv asked hurriedly.

"About 20 minutes," Erin paused. "I'll send you a text when I get there."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome," Erin said. "Night you."


	18. Chapter 18

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 18 of ?

#-#

"This quiche is very good Alex. Everything is," Olivia said.

Alex smiled. "Thanks, but I only made the bacon and the coffee. The rest is from the bakery down the street."

They both continued to eat with a nervous silence ensuing over the music playing softly from Bose speakers.

"So how is work going?" Alex asked.

"Ok, but we still haven't caught that serial rapist," Olivia replied. "Alex, I'm not sure where to start the conversation we need to have, but I think if we start talking work then we will jinx it and I'll get a work call."

"Very true," Alex said. "I've been running things through my head almost non-stop the last 36 hours, well actually much longer than that, of what I want to say."

"Well we definitely have that in common," Olivia smiled and started gathering dishes from the table to take to the dishwasher.

"Liv, you don't have to do that," Alex said.

"I don't mind and you did everything with breakfast, plus you know how well I sit still," she replied while rinsing dishes at the sink. Alex gathered the few refrigerated items remaining on the table and walked to the kitchen. After she finished putting them away in the refrigerator she leaned back resting her hips and lower back against the counter next to the sink.

"I'm not sure if this is a good opening statement, but I'm not sure where else to start. I still love you Olivia," Alex said.

Olivia paused from rinsing the dishes and gripped her hands on the edge of the sink and leaned back and sighed.

"So many days and nights I've dreamed of hearing that again from you when you were in WPP and since then," Olivia said. "But why now Alex?"

"Do you still have feelings for me?" Alex countered.

"Of course," Liv replied. "Even if you would have had to stay in witness protection I would have never stopped loving you. You have had a part of my heart for nearly 10 years now."

Olivia poured herself another cup of coffee and walked to the living room and took a seat on the couch.

"But why now Alex?" she continued. "It's been six years, okay around five taking out the year after the Connors' trial. Hell, there were times since you have been out of the program where I felt like you didn't even like me anymore."

"I could say the same," Alex replied taking a seat on the couch, a half cushion to the left of the detective.

"Really?" Liv smirked. "My work address has remained the same."

"Liv, I'm sorry. There are things, decisions I made that if I could go back I would have done differently, but at the time I thought my reasoning made sense," Alex said. "But, I have never stopped loving you."

"Alex you didn't even call me when you got out of witness protection."

"I was a mess. I didn't want you to see me like that."

"But you couldn't even tell me you were out? I would have given you space if you needed it," Olivia said.

"Would you have? Hell, Liv I was trying to find myself again. I don't think you would have recognized parts of me," Alex said.

"You didn't even give me a chance," Olivia said. "And then you reappear at SVU without even telling me you're coming back as our ADA."

"I know it doesn't make it right, but the wheels turned quickly on that one, and I was out of Appeals and back to SVU in a matter of days," Alex said. "I was scared about coming back to SVU because I didn't know if I could handle it again, but yet I wanted to because I thought I might be able to find the old Alex Cabot through the work and being around you again."

"I was thrilled you were back personally and professionally," Liv said. "But I was also hurt and pissed. I not only assumed that you didn't love me anymore, I questioned whether you ever really did. And then I let my pride and ego get in the way of even trying to be your friend."

"But you did. You let me back in a little at least again," Alex said.

"Well you did too," Liv replied. "And in my head I went back and forth between well maybe a friendship will be enough and maybe she still does love me. And then you left again," she said getting up from the couch and pacing a few steps away.

"Damn it Alex. Do you know how many nights I've cried myself to sleep over you?"

Olivia felt Alex's hands wrap around her waist from behind. Alex pulled her closer pressing her body into the detective's. "I don't want to hurt you anymore," Alex whispered in her ear. "I don't want us to hurt," she said placing a soft kiss on the pulse point of the detective's neck.

"You don't know how much…" Liv started as she turned in Alex's arms and had her words muted by the blonde's lips on hers. The kiss quickly deepened and Olivia first found her hands lacing through long strands of blonde hair, then her arms dropped to Alex's waist. She could feel her nipples harden against the feel of the blonde's and she imagined how much more intense the sensation would be without shirts and bras.

Alex began trailing kisses with a teasing tongue down Liv's neck. Olivia ran her hands up the outside of the front of Alex's shirt and quickly undid two buttons and slid a hand under the fabric and caressed the blonde's right breast. Alex moaned at the contact and then bit into the detective's neck while hands fumbled at the belt looped through faded blue jeans.

Feeling the pressure on her neck Olivia backed away and took a deep breath.

"Alex, we need to slow it down. I'm sorry, but I just can't fall into bed with you."

"Tell me that wasn't real. Tell me you didn't feel it," Alex demanded.

"Of course I did. Hell, I'm still feeling it. And I want more, but it isn't that simple," Olivia stated.

"Because of Erin," Alex said flatly.

Olivia sighed, running a hand through her brown hair.

"Yes, Erin is a part of it. But there is still so much we need to talk about. You still haven't answered why now after all this time you think you want to be with me," Olivia said.

"Think I want to be with you," Alex said. "Could you be more condescending?"

"Call me confused with your ever so clear clues. Certainly, I should have figured a Congo task force was another sign of you wanting me," Olivia snipped.

"This of course followed your formal request for a new ADA."

"And you know I didn't really go through with it and I apologized," Olivia said angrily. "I was wrong about that and I am still truly sorry about it."

"I know," Alex said taking a deep sigh to calm her voice. "I don't want to fight. That's the last thing I want to do."

"I agree," Olivia said and walked towards the kitchen.

"I was just going to get a glass of Chardonnay," Alex replied. "Do you want something to drink?"

"How about we go on a walk? It's nice outside," Liv said. "We can walk someplace where we can sit outside and have drinks," Liv half-smiled.

"Ok," Alex said.

#-#

"Much better idea," Alex smiled dipping a salted chip into the small bowl of salsa at the table on the patio of the Mexican restaurant they selected. "A good margarita trumps a boring Chardonnay almost any day."

"Well, not our usual place," Liv replied, "but it is nice to be able to sit outside. Can I have a sip of your margarita?"

"Sure."

"That's good. I may have to get one after this beer," Liv said placing the salted glass down on the table.

"I don't know if we can count 2 ½ blocks as a walk, but it is nice to be outside," Alex said. "And I'm glad we are still talking."

"Me too," Liv smiled. "I thought you were going to throw me out."

"I was expecting a door slam as you walked out," Alex smiled and then began giggling.

"What?" Liv asked.

"I think Casey might be a tad bit proud of us."

"Good point. I don't want another ass chewing from her," Liv laughed.

"So you got one too?" Alex smiled. "Good thing she isn't ADA anymore, she'd probably have us in a holding cell talking everything over."

Olivia took a long drink of her beer. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Erin sooner."

"Why didn't you?" Alex asked.

"Well I was rationalizing in my mind that there hadn't been a good time to tell you since both of our lunches came to abrupt endings, but the main reason is I was afraid if I told you, if there was any chance left between us it would be gone," Olivia said.

"Liv, I was working up to telling you that I still love you and I want a chance for us," Alex said. "Hell, I'm sure Dr. Southerly would love a session not 95% devoted to my love and screw ups with Detective Benson."

"Just 95 percent," Olivia cracked.

"Well, I do exchange obligatory greetings and small talk with her," Alex countered and took a sip from her margarita. "When I found about Erin I was pissed and hurt. And then as Casey pointed out clearly later, I was/am insanely jealous of her being with you."

"But, not like there have been many, but you never reacted that way with any guys I've dated or told you about?" Olivia questioned.

"Liv, I am not sure exactly how to explain it and my intention is not to come across arrogant or rude in trying to. I guess from what you had said at times about being married to the job, and that to my knowledge you weren't looking for a future with any of the guys you saw, I could just take them to be like any dating relationships I have had with men."

"So you've been with women?" Liv asked.

"Yes, but just two and not since college. The first one was short-lived. She had a girlfriend back home and we wouldn't have worked in a relationship anyway."

"And the second?" Liv asked.

"The only other time I've been in love," Alex sighed. "We were together most of my junior and senior years. She was a year behind me. And then I went away to law school and at some point decided that my DA ambitions didn't mesh with a lesbian relationship so I broke it off with her."

"So do you still want to be DA someday?" Olivia asked.

"I honestly don't know, but I do know I don't want it at the expense of my personal life, of love," Alex said. "Liv, I was physically attracted to you the moment I saw you, but at some point during my first year in SVU I fell for you."

"About exactly the same from me," Olivia smiled. "But I had never felt that type of an attraction for a woman before and I was sure you were straight."

"Well for a while I wanted you to think that, because I still was putting my career first," Alex sighed.

"And there was also your work. I was afraid for you, and I didn't know if I could handle the worry and anxiety of being with a cop. That of course was assuming that you would want to be with me. But, it was a huge fear I had and I knew I couldn't ask you not to be who you are and a huge part of who I fell in love with was Detective Benson."

"So did you think I was gay?" Olivia asked.

"I thought labels didn't matter to you," she said. "And I thought you liked me and were attracted to me, so whether you did or you didn't label yourself in some way wasn't very significant to me."

"So if," Liv started and then paused. "I'm still a cop." She took a sip of the fresh beer the waiter had just placed on the table. "I can't imagine doing anything else until I'm too old to do it right. It is a huge part of who I am."

"I know Liv. And I wouldn't ever want you to try to be someone or something you're not. I definitely know now it doesn't work," Alex said. "Remember when I invited you to go away with me to my uncle's cabin?"

"Of course," Liv smiled.

"I was going to tell you then basically everything I've told you in the last 30 minutes or so. I didn't want my career ambitions more than I wanted you, and if you wanted me I was going to learn how to deal with being a cop's partner."

"If there is a hell, Liam Connors deserves the absolute worst part of it," Olivia stated.

"Cheers to that," Alex said. "He took so much from me, from us and so many others. But, I've allowed him to have too much of me for too long."

"I have been trying to put myself back together or find myself again ever since I was released from WPP, but I finally realized when I was Africa that I couldn't do it my way or by myself. So when I got back I talked to George and he referred me to Dr. Southerly. I wish my stubborn ass would have it done it sooner."

"Alex, I told you I started seeing a therapist as well. It took me quite a while to be even open to the idea, let alone walk in her office for the first time," Liv finished as Erin's ringtone played on her iPhone.

"Do you need to take that?" Alex asked.

"I'm sorry. I do," Liv said. "Erin had a family emergency and had to fly to Texas."

"I need to use the restroom anyway," Alex said standing up.


	19. Chapter 19

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 19 of ?

#-#

"Sorry, didn't mean for that to take so long," Olivia said. "Her dad is having some health issues and he's not being cooperative."

"I understand," Alex said. "I ordered you another beer."

"I see that," Liv smiled. "Thank you."

"So can I ask? Does Erin know you are with me today?"

"Yes, I thought you might have noticed you weren't the only one pissed at me Friday night," Liv said. "Look we didn't get to talk much before her brother called yesterday morning. But she was/is mainly pissed that I hadn't been totally honest with her about you. She told me I better get honest with myself, her and you."

"Jesus, does Colonel Climax say or do anything wrong?" Alex half-said and half-mumbled.

"Colonel Climax," Liv laughed. "Well she did mention something about how she was hoping you would have an epiphany and become a mountain gorilla tour guide in Virunga National Park when not leading the task force."

"Ha," Alex smiled and laughed. "If I do have to go back for a few weeks for the task force, there is a 3-day gorilla safari I want to go on. But no aspirations of becoming the Jane Goodall of gorillas."

Alex took a sip from her third margarita and grinned.

"What?" Olivia asked.

"Well yesterday I was hoping Erin would get orders for Fort Wainwright, but I suppose if her father is having health problems a reassignment to Texas would do."

"Where is Wainwright?" Liv asked.

"Fairbanks, Alaska," Alex smiled. "Home of the Arctic Warriors."

Liv laughed. "You know under different circumstances you two would probably get along quite well."

"Don't get me wrong Liv with my jokes and sarcasm," Alex said. "I want you. I want us, and I want you to give us a chance."

"Alex, I do love you. And even if I break it off with Erin or she dumps me, we still have a lot to talk about. I can't just step time and jump in with both feet. Too much has happened and I'm not meaning just with us."

Alex slid her left hand across the table and squeezed the detective's right hand.

"I understand. I still have a lot to work through, but not with how I feel about you. That is one thing, the most important thing I am certain of," Alex said.

"I haven't seen my therapist in a while, but I am going to schedule an appointment with her," Olivia said. "If we need to at some point, would you be willing to go see someone together?"

"Yes," Alex replied quickly, but with sincerity.

"Thank you," Liv smiled. "And thank you for being so open and honest today."

"You too," Alex said.

"You want to finish these drinks and go to the MoMA?" Liv asked.

"I thought you said you went recently," Alex said feeling relieved that Olivia wasn't ending their day together as she feared a minute before.

"I did. But I would love to hear your interpretations of some of the works," she replied.

"So you want to make fun of my interpretations," Alex smiled.

"Well only if I find them funny, but I'll share mine too and I know you will ridicule me," Liv smiled.

"I will not!"

"Bullshit," Liv laughed.

#-#

"So you really have an original Rorschach Inkblot Test?" Liv smiled as they walked towards Alex's apartment.

"Well it bugged me to no end in college that on three of the cards I saw things that no one else could see and couldn't see what supposedly I should see, so I found a way to get my own copy of the test and I still have it," Alex said.

"So did you ever see what Rorschach believed you should see?"

"No, but as you know there are a lot of questions regarding the validity of the test even though it is still widely used."

"Yes, that is true, but in regards to that one painting at the museum, I think we could hang it at a packed Rave party and you would still be the only one who would see an angst-ridden frog on a lily pad in a raging river," Olivia laughed.

"I told you that you just weren't looking at it from the right angle," Alex laughed. "At least I didn't see the face of Sarah Palin in a landscape."

"I didn't say it was unmistakable. More like the subtle Jesus on a grilled cheese, or on a tree, that people have claimed to see," Liv laughed as they arrived at Alex's apartment building.

They both paused for a minute.

"I left my jacket in your apartment," Olivia said.

#-#

"Do you want something to drink?" Alex asked as they entered her apartment.

"Thank you, but I need to get going," Liv said putting on her jacket.

"Ok," Alex said walking towards the detective who was standing near the front door. "Thank you for today."

"Thank you Alex. Can I call you tomorrow?" Liv asked.

"I would like that," Alex smiled.

"Can I give you a kiss goodnight?" Liv asked.

"I would really like that," Alex smiled.

The kiss started soft, but Olivia deepened it quickly. She ached to make love to Alex, but one day of honesty and openness combined with laughter and fun was not enough to erase the doubts and fears she still felt deeply. Or the feelings she had for Erin.

Olivia broke the kiss and looked into Alex's eyes. "Goodnight," she said placing a quick kiss on the blonde's cheek.

"Goodnight," Alex said again watching the detective walk down the hall towards the elevator.

#-#

"Hey Casey," Liv answered her iPhone. "What are you doing?"

"Watching TV with Petraeus on his couch," Casey said.

"Erin said you were taking care of him," Olivia replied.

"Yes, he likes it better at his house and Jeff has Amelia this week anyway, so I'm just staying here until she gets back Wednesday," Casey said.

"I just got back home about an hour ago," Olivia said. "Alex and I spent a long time talking today."

"Yeah, Erin said you two were still together when she called you this afternoon," Casey said. "She called me about an hour ago."

"Did she say if she was able to convince her dad to at least check out a few of the retirement places she and Dylan found?" Olivia asked.

"His sponsor convinced him," Casey laughed. "She was kind of pissed at first that after 30 minutes of an in person conversation with Ted W., he was suddenly agreeable to looking when she hadn't been able to make any progress all day. Ted's going with them in the morning."

"I sent her a text a few minutes ago, but she hasn't replied," Olivia said.

"She is staying at her dad's tonight and said she was going to crash," Casey said. "She was exhausted."

"Good. She needs some sleep," Olivia said. "Hey Case, do you think I could come up your way tomorrow and we could go to dinner?"

"Have you made a decision?" Casey asked.

"No I haven't," Olivia replied.

"Then yes on dinner," Casey said.

"So what does that mean Casey? If I decide I want to see, try to be with Alex, we aren't friends anymore," Olivia questioned.

"Oh God no Liv," Casey said. "I'm just saying I'm close to both you and Erin and if you had made a decision I would want you to tell her first. And the same with her."

"You know Casey I think if Alex had told me what she did today even when she first came back to SVU this last time I would have jumped with hardly any hesitation into a relationship with her, but it isn't that simple. And I told her that even if I hadn't met Erin it wouldn't be that simple."

"So why don't you give me a call tomorrow afternoon and give me an idea what time you want to meet for dinner?" Casey said.

"Thanks," Liv said. "I'm going to try and get some sleep. My brain and my emotions are on overload."

"Take care," Casey said. "Get some sleep and I'll talk to you tomorrow."


	20. Chapter 20

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome and appreciate feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 20 of ?

#-#

"Don't get comfy partner," Olivia said as Elliot took a seat at his desk.

"Why?" Elliot asked. "What's up?"

"Detective Stanton called. They might have the bastard. Captain wants us to get back up to Bridgeport," Olivia said.

#-#

"Thank you," Elliot said getting back into the car after grabbing two coffees and two ready-made breakfast sandwiches from the deli Olivia had stopped at.

"You still hurting from Friday night partner?" Olivia smiled.

"Saturday morning was a bit rough," he grinned. "How about Erin?"

"Her brother called before 6 Saturday morning. Family emergency with her dad and she was on a plane to Texas at 2:30," Olivia said.

"Is he okay?" Elliot asked.

"Long story short. He's having memory issues and needs to be in assisted living. She'll be back Wednesday," Olivia said.

"I really like Erin," Elliot said.

"I do too," Olivia said. "But let me bring you up to speed on this case. Suspect is Joe Joseph, 23, white, 5'11", and stocky build."

"Joe Joseph," Elliot laughed. "He's not a junior too, is he is?"

"No, but Stanton said his middle initial is J too," Olivia smiled. "Might be the source of some of his issues. He was rejected by Bridgeport PD based on the results of his psychological exam a year ago, but Stanton doesn't have the specifics on that yet. Sophomore at Bridgeport Community College, concentration criminal justice."

"Any known connection to The Madison apartments?" Elliot asked.

"Yes," Olivia smiled. "His grandmother lives there and Munch and Fin are already over there talking to her."

"Sounding good," Elliot said.

"Oh it gets better. He tried to attack one of his former classmates, Rita Gomez at about 1:30 a.m. this morning at her apartment. She works as a C.O. at the Connecticut women's prison. Leaves for the police academy in July," Olivia said.

"How did he get in her apartment?"

"Joe's girlfriend is an assistant manager at the complex and Stanton said the properties where the other rapes occurred have the same management company," Olivia said. "And he has done maintenance work at all of them."

"So Rita was able to fight him off and get away?" Elliot asked.

"Don't have all the details, but she got him with Pepper Spray and a kick to the groin and then her brother and his friend took care of him until uniforms got there. Stanton and Taylor are at the hospital waiting for Joseph to be discharged so they can take him to headquarters."

"So the brother lives with her?"

"No, he just started two weeks leave from Iraq and was staying with her. His friend was dropping him off and they heard Rita yelling and ran up the stairs and into the apartment. He had her spare key. He broke Joseph's nose for sure, but the hospital was making sure he didn't have any internal bleeding or broken ribs from the punches the brother delivered to his mid-section," Olivia said.

#-#

"What do you have Munch?" Elliot answered his phone.

"Grandma is a sweet woman. Feeling for her," Munch said. "But she gave us her day planner and it has all the days and nights Joe visited her and stayed with her. And also the days he did maintenance work at the building."

"Really," Elliot responded.

"Turns out Joe owes grandma a good deal of money, at least on her income. Told her two years ago that he was on his way to becoming a Bridgeport detective, but then he told her about eight months ago that he still needed to shave a minute off his run time to be accepted at the academy."

"Well that could be in addition to his fail on the psych exam," Elliot responded.

"Grandma has been a tenant for 37 years. She hooked up Joe with the super here and he gave Joe some jobs. He has the records of the work Joe did. Paid him under the table though. Grandma logged the jobs because she had Joe pay down his debt with her about 20 or 30 dollars each time. Super said he had Joe sign in and out keys, but getting copies made would have been easy."

"Thanks Munch," Elliot said. "We'll give you an update from Bridgeport."

#-#

Alex glanced down at her phone to read the new text message.

_In B-port again waiting to do some interviews & observe an interrogation. Think they caught him. Prob going to be a late 1. Hope your day is going well & TY again 4 yday_

Moments later the detective felt multiple vibrations from her iPhone.

_Hey sexy! Miss you. Buying a Texas lotto tik today. Dad not only agreed to the second place we looked at, but they also can get him in next week. Paperwork out the ass though. How's your Monday?_

_Great news. Good luck! Would love an update if you get a chance. On my way to Dr. Southerly's.—And TY. Love u and that goodnight kiss._

_#-#  
_

_Great news E 'HT' Miss you 2 In B-port think we got our perp. Will call you later._

_#-#  
_

_Thanks you. And it was very nice. Got to run catch up with you later 3_

#-#

"Come this way please Ms. Gomez," Olivia and Elliot heard the officer say. "There are two NYPD detectives who would like to speak to you."

Olivia and Elliot both got up from the chairs they had been sitting in in the interview room to the left of the squad room.

One of the first things Olivia noticed about the 5'6", extremely fit, short, dark-haired Rita Gomez when she entered the interview was that she barely glanced at Elliot.

"Hello Ms. Gomez, I'm Detective Stabler and this is my partner Detective Benson," Elliot said.

"I knew it before he said your name," Rita blurted. "You're the detective that brought down Captain Lionel Harris and the other corrupt C.O.s at Sealview."

"Yes she is," Elliot said.

"I had a part in it," Olivia said. "But how did…"

"Well, besides from recognizing you from some of the media coverage when Harris was convicted, I work with a C.O. who worked at Sealview for two years. She hated Harris, even went to the warden, but the warden dismissed her complaints."

Olivia didn't know if the rush of emotions running through her body were outwardly visible. She flashed back to being handcuffed to the door, she thought of the warden whom she suspected had been aware of the actions of Harris and some of his C.O.s. "Pull it together Benson," she told herself.

"Rita, okay to call you Rita?" she asked.

"Sure," Rita smiled. "Do you remember inmate…"

"Rita, maybe we can talk some other time, but let's focus now on Joe Joseph. What you know could really help us," Olivia said.

Elliot knew his partner was uncomfortable so he took the lead on the interview and later the interrogation with Joe Joseph.

#-#

"Hey El, I had made plans to have dinner with Casey tonight. If she still wants to, would you be up to swinging a few minutes out of the way to drop me off?" Olivia asked. "I had told her I would call her in the afternoon."

"Sure," he said. "It's only 5:30. Give her a call."

Olivia was relieved when Casey said they were still on for dinner. She offered to meet them at an exit right off I-95, but Elliot assured both of them he didn't mind adding a few minutes to his drive back.

"I thought Casey had an apartment," Elliot said pulling into the driveway.

"This is Erin's house," Olivia said. "She's taking care of…"

"That's Petraeus," Elliot laughed seeing Casey approach their car, with the dog in her arms.

"I take it Erin might not have described him accurately," Olivia smiled.

"She said he was a brute."

"El, thanks for everything today," Olivia said.

"We both got the confession out of him," he replied.

"You know what I mean," she said. "Just accept the thanks."

"I'll see you in the morning," he said as Olivia got out of the car. "Casey, Kathy really wants you and Jeff to come out soon. Well, I do too. Give us a call, okay."

"Will do," Casey smiled. "Thanks for bringing Liv here."

#-#

Olivia looked at the text on her phone.

_Of course. Just wish I was there too. At dinner with Dylan and dad. Will call later._

"I can stay," Olivia said.

"Did you really think she would have said no," Casey replied.

"No, but I still thought I should text her and ask," Olivia said. "You're going to really have to start charging me for your therapy sessions."

"Don't be ridiculous Benson. We're friends. I'm glad you told me all of what happened at Sealview and about today," Casey said.

"It just all flooded back when Rita said his name," Olivia said. "I don't think I really heard anything she and Elliot discussed for the next 20 minutes or so. I just didn't want to be alone in my apartment tonight."

"I think Petraeus likes having you here too," Casey said pointing to the dog asleep in the detective's lap.

"He just liked that I was sharing some of the pizza with him," Olivia smiled.

"Have you told Alex or Erin about Harris and Sealview?" Casey asked.

"No, but Alex and I really did talk about a lot yesterday. And then we went to the MoMA and that was great fun. We had a blast," Liv said and then sighed.

"What?" Casey asked.

"I know I can't have both, heck I couldn't handle both. Got simultaneous texts from them earlier today and that was almost overwhelming," Olivia said. "I don't want either one of them out of my life though."

"Do you think you could just be friends with Erin or Alex?" Casey asked.

"I don't know. I mean Erin and I haven't even been together a full month, so I guess there has got to be some of that new sex hotness, and of course she is gorgeous, but we just clicked in so many ways from the start," Olivia said. "I've told her more in our short time more than I've told people I've been close with for years."

"You two do have some crazy good chemistry between you," Casey remarked.

"I think it's intimacy with her and not just sexual," Olivia said.

"And with Alex?" Casey asked.

"Well until she told me again yesterday that she still loved me, I guess it would have been easier to just keep being friends with her or however one might define what we have had and haven't had," Olivia said.

"We were talking yesterday," Liv continued. "And then we were kissing and it quickly escalated, but I stopped it. I had all these thoughts and feelings running through me and I stopped it before we ended up in bed. I didn't want to hurt Erin. I didn't want to lose Erin. And…" Olivia took a drink from her beer.

"And what," Casey asked gently.

"I felt a whole lot of want and desire for Alex, but I also felt anger. We still have a lot more to talk about, and yes on so many levels it was good to finally have some truthful answers and explanations. But she made all these decisions that impacted me without ever asking me or including me. And then when I find someone who makes me happy she decides that it is time to tell me she still wants me that she has never stopped wanting me."

Olivia walked to the kitchen to get another beer and Casey some more wine. She sat back on the couch and continued.

"Like I said, things escalated between us pretty quickly and I was doing my part too, but when I felt her hands go to undo my belt and she bit into my neck, that's when a wave of anger really hit me," Liv said.

"Why?" Casey asked.

"I guess because I felt for a brief moment like it was another decision she was making for us, and she was marking me, like now that I've decided I want you, you are mine. And for a few seconds I thought of fucking her and walking out. Make her feel the pain of being left," Olivia said. "So that's when I pulled away. I didn't like my thoughts or feelings."

"So what happened?"

"We got in a brief argument. And then we walked to a Mexican restaurant and talked again. And it was good," Olivia said. "I'm confident at her apartment she wasn't really meaning anything more than wanting to be with me. But the fact that I had felt that fear and anger just confirmed to me, that Erin or no Erin, Alex and I can't simply exchange I love yous and be a couple."

Olivia saw Casey's phone illuminate on the coffee table with Jeff's ID and number.

"Get it Casey," she smiled. "I'm going to take a shower."

#-#

"Hey Erin," Casey said.

"Sorry it is so late," Erin replied.

"No problem," Casey said. "I was just getting ready to go to sleep."

"And Liv?" Erin asked.

"She and Petraeus crashed out in your bed about an hour ago," Casey said. "She had a long day."

"Ok. I'll let you go then. Thanks for everything Casey. Get some sleep," Erin said.

"You too. I'll talk to you tomorrow."


	21. Chapter 21

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 21 of ?

#-#

"He was still there when I woke up," Olivia said walking up the stairs to her apartment.

"Hey," Erin said. "I know we still have a lot to talk about, but I really want to see you tomorrow night, and not just at the game."

"If that is an invite to stay the night, the answer is yes," Olivia said.

"Yes and good," Erin replied. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to find my damn keys," Olivia said putting the three plastic bags of groceries and one bag with almond chicken and steamed rice down in front of her apartment door.

"I've got to go pick up dad in a few anyway," Erin said.

"Call me later?" Olivia asked.

"You miss me," Erin chuckled.

"I do Erin. Now get off my phone so I can find my keys."

"Bye you," Erin said.

#-#

"You need some help?"

Olivia recognized the voice of the blonde former ADA immediately. She turned her head slightly to see Alex standing a few feet behind her.

"I can't find my keys," Olivia said.

"I heard that," Alex said reaching her hand to pull the keys that were dangling from the detective's left side coat pocket.

"Thanks," Olivia said. "I thought I put them in my purse. So what brings you to my neighborhood all dressed up?"

"I had a meeting with an immigration attorney, Sylvie Romo. We met at her office and then had a couple drinks down the street," Alex said picking up two of the bags as Olivia unlocked the apartment door.

"I saw you walking from the store so I found a parking space and came up," Alex said.

"Sorry I didn't call you last night. I had dinner with Casey and ended up crashing pretty early," Olivia said while putting away the groceries.

"I figured you were tired," Alex said. "I was happy to get your text saying that he confessed."

"Dumbass lawyered up after he spilled nearly everything to the Connecticut detectives and then us. Claims he didn't mean to kill the one victim that died down here and that she was alive when he left," Olivia said.

"Are we," Alex started. "I mean is New York going to get him first with the murder?"

"I don't know," Olivia replied. "Elliot and I were with Cragen and Marlowe almost all day just briefing them. Melinda is back to work though. Well only 25 hours max a week for this week and next, and some other restrictions. But it is great to have her back."

"Oh that is good news," Alex said. "I need to call her again soon."

"Do you want a Diet Coke, Dr. Pepper, Bud Light, water, or Merlot?" Olivia asked.

"I'll take a Diet Coke," Alex said.

Olivia grabbed a can of Dr. Pepper and a Diet Coke from the refrigerator and then reached into a cabinet for glasses.

"I don't need a glass," Alex said.

"It's not real cold," Olivia said filling both glasses with ice. "You want to share some almond chicken? I'm sure there's plenty. They always give a lot."

"Sure if you don't mind," Alex said.

"I'm going to go change," Olivia said.

"Ok, I'll get some plates. You using chopsticks or fork?" Alex asked.

"Fork, almonds are tricky with chopsticks," Olivia said disappearing into her bedroom.

Alex was reaching for napkins on the counter to the left of the sink when she noticed the detective's charging iPhone's two quick vibrations and illumination with a text message. She knew she should probably look away and just grab the napkins and take them to the table, but she couldn't resist the temptation to look.

_Was showing dad pics on my phone of Petraeus & softball, well Madison's—he says you're gorgeous—well 1st he said hot, but told him that was creepy. Can't wait to see u tmrw TTYL_

#-#

Olivia took a seat at the table. Alex was at the table leafing through a copy of _Army Times._

"So you're reading _Army Times _now?" Alex mused.

"Casey gave it to me," Olivia said. "Turn to page 58. I haven't read the whole article yet."

"Wow, that's a nice spread," Alex said looking at the text and pictures detailing the works of the veteran's assistance foundation that Casey was leading as executive director.

"Two full pages are great," Olivia said. "That came out in mid-March and Casey said they were up 75% in contributions over March of last year and have been up over 50% in April and probably another 50% for May, pending final numbers."

"I had no idea that they offered so many services," Alex said reading photo captions and pull quotes.

"They also have counseling, support groups and outdoor activities for female veterans and those still serving who have been victims of sexual assaults and rapes," Olivia said. "Unfortunately it happens way too often, especially on deployments."

"One of the women I met in Congo, she is with the International Red Cross now, but she served in the Army and was deployed to Iraq in the first Gulf War. She told me that ironically a mortar attack saved her from being raped by a sergeant in her company," Alex said.

"Did she report him?" Olivia asked.

"She said she went to her first sergeant. But she said everything happened so quickly. She woke up in her cot with him on top of her and a hand over her mouth," Alex said. "But she said it was like as soon as she opened her eyes and focused on him that's when the sirens went off signaling the mortar attack and they all had positions they had to report to."

"It can happen really quickly," Olivia mumbled.

Alex looked at Olivia and the detective sighed.

"Alex, I started seeing my therapist a while back because it almost happened to me when I was undercover at Sealview," Olivia said. "Thankfully, I had an appointment scheduled with my therapist late this afternoon, because yesterday when we were interviewing our perp's intended victim… Well, she knew who I was because she is a C.O. and works with a C.O. who used to work at Sealview."

Alex pulled her chair around the small table and sat next to Olivia. She held the detective's hand and just listened as she talked. She didn't talk in specifics about what had happened at Sealview. She talked about how hearing Rita bring up the case had triggered a flood of emotions and flashbacks. And she talked about the anger she felt when Rita confirmed through her co-worker, even though it was hear-say, that the warden had known of her corrupt officers.

"I go to a support group every once in a while," Olivia said. "I've never heard of one of those for people out of witness protection."

"No," Alex smiled. "I don't think there is one."

"Alex, I don't know what you have gone through. You have said several times or implied that you were nervous or afraid to tell me things because you thought I might see you as being weak," she paused and took Alex's hand. "I definitely don't feel that way. I never meant to give you that impression. I don't know why you feel that way, but you do, which means I am going to have to earn your trust and belief on that."

Alex leaned back in her chair and rubbed her hands together.

"Liv, what you shared with me earlier about Sealview. I know that was hard for you to tell me, to trust me, to be that open. And what you just said about you wanting me to feel comfortable enough to open up to you about things I went through felt, feared, etc…"

She got up and walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a Bud Light.

"Can I have one of these now?"

"Yes," Olivia said. "Will you bring me one too please?"

Alex handed a beer to Olivia but she stayed standing on the opposite side of the table. She took a drink of her Bud Light and ran a hand through her hair.

"Liv, I get that we have to regain, rebuild and build trust with each other, and I need to do that more for you than you do with me," Alex said. "But, how do we do that when you're sleeping with Erin?"

Olivia paused.

"Erin and I haven't talked about you yet. She's been too busy with her dad. And I wouldn't have this discussion with her over the phone anyway," Olivia said. "But when we do have the conversation I am going to be honest with her."

"Which means?" Alex asked.

"Which means the same thing I told you Sunday. Even if I would have never met Erin, us being together is more complicated than just saying we both still love each other," Olivia said.

"I know that," Alex said.

"You said that you were working on telling me about how you felt before you knew I was seeing Erin," Olivia said. "So if it would have happened that way and I would have told you exactly what I did Sunday, but there was no Erin, where would you expect us to be not even two full days later?"

"But you seem to be having a relatively easy time separating the two issues and I'm not," Alex said.

"No, it is not easy for me Alex."

"But you are going to see her tomorrow," Alex said.

"Yes I am. And I told you that I will be honest with her about my feelings for you," Olivia said. "Alex, a lot has happened just since Friday. It is only Tuesday and I thought you were okay where we left off on Sunday," Olivia said.

"I know," Alex said.

"I promise we'll get together later this week or this weekend again and talk some more if you want," Olivia said. "I'm glad you came over."

"I know it was tough for you to talk about Sealview," Alex said.

"Alex I do love you," Olivia said. "I just can't step over six years in five days."

"I know," Alex said. "And I don't want you for just five days."

"C'mon I'll walk you to your car," Olivia said.


	22. Chapter 22

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 22 of ?

#-#

"Hey you," Olivia answered her phone. "Are you at your house?"

"No, just walking to my car now. We were delayed in Houston for 45 minutes," Erin said. "I think you should just go straight to the field."

"It's only 4:15 now," Olivia questioned.

"I don't know what is going on," Erin said. "I had two voice mails and three missed calls from my colonel's secretary when I turned my phone on after we landed. I called her and the colonel needs to see me ASAP."

"The secretary didn't tell you anything?" Olivia asked.

"Shit," Erin laughed. "I think she is retired CIA. She's pleasant, but you won't get a thing more out of her then what she needs or is told to communicate."

"Okay," Olivia said. "Hope it isn't anything major."

"I'll call you or text you when I'm done and on my way up," Erin said.

#-#

"And why don't you take a little time in the morning," the colonel said to Erin as she was leaving his office.

Erin nodded.

"Let's meet back here in my office at 11 tomorrow morning," he said.

"Yes sir," she said. "Thank you."

Erin walked to her car and plopped into the driver's seat. She turned the ignition key and then punched the steering wheel. "Fuck," she yelled.

She took a minute to compose herself and then dialed Jeff's number.

"You at the field already?" he answered.

"No," she said. "Where are you at?"

"Casey and I are just getting ready to leave her apartment to go over," he said.

"Is Amelia with you?" Erin asked.

"No, she's at a friend's house. I have to pick her up later," he said. "What's going on Erin?"

"I'm just leaving Fort Hamilton. Can you meet me at my house? I need to talk to you," she said.

"Of course," he said. "Are you okay?"

"I will be," she said. "But, I need to talk to you. Will you tell Casey sorry about missing the game and good luck-and sorry for borrowing you."

"Casey's right here and I know she will understand," he said. "I'll be waiting at your house for you."

"Thanks Jeff," Erin said. "I'm going to send Olivia a text letting her know I won't be back for the game, but could you have Casey tell her that I do want her to come over after."

"Sure," he said.

#-#

"What's going on?" Casey asked Jeff after the call ended.

"I don't know," Jeff said. "But I know something is wrong, she is just leaving Hamilton now. She wants you to tell Olivia to come to her house after the game and she said to tell you sorry about missing it."

"Shit, I don't care about her missing the game," Casey sighed. "We should have enough tonight anyway, and we can always play one down."

"You better get going," Jeff said giving Casey a quick kiss. "I'll call you."

#-#

"Hey Casey," Olivia said. "I got a text from Erin she said she can't make the game."

"Yeah," Casey said. "She talked to Jeff briefly and said to tell you she definitely wants you to come over after."

"Do you know what is going on?" Olivia asked. "She called me earlier from the airport and said she had to go directly to see her colonel."

"I don't know," Casey said. "Maybe something went down on the Fort. She asked Jeff to meet her at her house to talk, but she was just leaving Hamilton when she called."

"I wish she would have called me to come over," Olivia said.

"Liv," Casey said. "Erin and Jeff go back a long way in the Army. And he is a lawyer. It's probably just something happened on the post of a sensitive nature and she wants to discuss it with him and how to handle it."

"Let's just beat this team quickly so we can get over there," Olivia said.

"You okay with playing second base tonight?" Casey asked. "Tonya doesn't feel comfortable there, said she would rather play in the outfield since Erin isn't here again."

"We beat this team easily last time, didn't we?" Olivia asked. "What's the 'Mercy Rule,' 15 run lead or more after four?"

"Yes and yes," Casey said. "Liv, don't worry. They had some troops that got drunk at a strip club about five months ago. They started a fight and tore the place up. Did she tell you about that one?"

"No," Liv smiled.

"Don't worry," Casey laughed. "She didn't have to dance undercover. But it did take some PR spin to smooth things over with not only that club, but some of the businesses in the area that had had some minor incidents with rowdy soldiers."

"Oh, I definitely want to hear about that," Liv smiled. "I'm kind of surprised how much I've missed her too. Hell, it's only been like five days."

Casey smiled. "Get your bat because you're up second."

#-#

Casey checked her phone while sitting in the dugout in the fourth inning. They were up 12-3 and Olivia was batting again.

_We're ordering pizza for four. Erin wants you to come over too. Hope you are winning._

Casey sent a text back.

_Easy game so far. Few more runs and we hold them we'll be done after this inning._

Casey showed Olivia the text from Jeff before they took the field up by 17 runs in the bottom of the fourth.

"That sounds good," Olivia said.

"Let's just hold them and get out of here," Casey smiled.

#-#

"Wow, you two beat the pizza," Jeff said as Casey and Olivia walked through the door of Erin's house.

"Easy game," Casey smiled.

"Where's Erin?" Olivia asked.

"I'm back here," Erin called from her bedroom.

"Hey you," Liv smiled entering the bedroom. "What are you doing?"

"I'm waiting for you to come here and kiss me," Erin smiled.

"Oh, I can definitely do that," Olivia smiled.

Erin didn't want to pull away from the kiss, but she knew she had to after a minute.

"God, it's good to see you," Erin smiled looking into the detective's deep brown eyes.

"You too," Olivia said. "What's going on with work?"

"Jeff, there's money on the kitchen counter," Erin yelled hearing the pizza man at the front door. "C'mon," Erin said grabbing Olivia's hand and leading her back to the living room.

Jeff was putting the boxes of pizza and wings on the dining room table and Casey was sitting in the recliner in the living room. Erin caught Jeff's eyes and he shook his head "No," indicating he hadn't told Casey.

"I grabbed you a beer," Casey said to Olivia and pointing to the one on the coaster on the coffee table. "Jeff said you already had one."

"I do," Erin said holding it up for Casey to see as she and Olivia took a seat on the couch. Erin reached for the folder she had previously placed on the table. She opened the folder and she took out the top two copies of stapled three page documents and handed one copy to Casey and one to Olivia.

"Fuck," Olivia yelled as she processed the keywords on Department of the Army, Orders 010-06, Mathison, Erin, LTC.

"Well that's the first thing I said after leaving the colonel's office too," Erin said, her right hand resting just above the detective's knee.

"I'm so sorry Erin," Casey said.

"Not to exceed 365 days," Olivia said.

"Well I am trying, trying hard to find some positives, so here's one. A lot of Operation Enduring Freedom orders read not to exceed 545 days," Erin said.

"But you were going to retire," Olivia started.

"Liv, I knew I wasn't completely safe from another deployment. Hell, they're calling people out of retirement, but I definitely didn't see this coming and certainly not this quickly," Erin said. "Colonel said he got the call yesterday afternoon and the orders were cut this morning."

"So you have to report to Joint Base McGuire-Dix-Lakehurst next Wednesday already," Casey asked reviewing her copy of the orders.

"Yes," Erin said. "And scheduled to be wheels up to Kabul with some Reserve and Guard units that Sunday."

"I am going to take Erin down to Dix on Wednesday," Jeff said.

"I can take care of Petraeus," Casey offered.

"Actually Jeff and I came up with some ideas," Erin said. "Why don't we go eat the pizza and wings and we can talk it over."

"I'm not very hungry anymore," Olivia mumbled.

"Me neither," Erin said quietly. "But we should eat something."

#-#

"So since I've been living in that little bachelor pad since before the divorce even, Erin and I talked about me sub-letting here while she is deployed. My lease expires at the end of July anyway," Jeff said.

"And since Jeff only has limited furniture," Erin smiled and Casey laughed, "I wouldn't have to put too much of my stuff in storage. And Amelia would have a bigger bedroom, with a much newer and bigger bed."

"And Petraeus could stay here," Jeff added. "And we would be much closer," he said looking at Casey.

"And I figure by the time I get back you two should be engaged by then and looking for a new place," Erin said. Casey blushed. "Ok, at least committed enough to live in sin full-time."

"Damn, you two got all that worked out quickly," Casey said. "But for a really shitty situation it makes sense."

"Multiple deployments between us," Erin said. "I guess they're good for something."

Olivia finished one slice of pizza and took her plate to the sink, rinsed it, and put it in the dishwasher. She grabbed another beer for herself and then noticing Casey, Erin, and Jeff's were either empty or nearly empty she grabbed three more. She placed her arms around Erin's shoulders after placing the beers on the table and then gave Erin a kiss on the cheek.

"I'm going to go outside a minute and check my voicemails," the detective said releasing her arms from around Erin who was still seated.

"We're going to go as soon as we finish eating," Casey said.

"Yeah, I have to get Amelia soon anyway," Jeff added.

Casey saw Erin looking at the detective in the backyard, phone pressed to her ear.

"Erin," Casey said. "She's knows you're a highly trained bad ass, she's fearing…"

"Hell Casey, I don't have a good feeling about this one," Erin said. "I'm hoping it is just the shock of my world being turned upside down again less than four hours ago."

"Anything you need me to before you go and while you are there," Casey said. "I mean it. Now, I'm going to go outside and talk to her for a minute."

"Thanks Case," Erin said.

#-#

"This so fuckin' sucks," Olivia said as Casey approached.

"I know. It does," Casey said wrapping the detective in a tight embrace. "You can tell her you're scared for her. She just wants you and needs you to be with her right now."

"I know," Olivia said. "I'm not going anywhere."

Olivia pulled away from the embrace.

"Thanks for all you and Jeff are doing," Olivia said.

#-#

Olivia held Erin in her arms on the couch and listened as Erin told Dylan about her orders to Afghanistan.

"Dylan, do you think I fuckin' volunteered to go," she seethed.

"What a prick," Olivia thought.

"You know Dylan, I'll just call dad's sponsor tomorrow. I'm sure he knows people I can hire to take care of things since it is obviously too much for you to do."

Erin jumped off the couch. "I can't fucking do this right now Dylan. I'll call you tomorrow or Friday," she said and ended the call.

Olivia wrapped her arms around Erin from behind. Erin turned and tears that Erin had been trying to suppress could not be deterred. Olivia pulled her close and held her tightly.

"I am so sorry babe," she whispered in Erin's ear.

"I'm scared," Erin said between sobs.

"Me too," Olivia said trying to hold Erin even closer.


	23. Chapter 23

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 23 of ?

#-#

"Hey Liv," Erin said rubbing the detective's bare shoulder. "Liv, it's seven. You better get up."

"I thought you didn't have to be in til 11," Olivia mumbled, eyes half open. "Come back to bed."

"How about we compromise? I brought you coffee. I'll have a cup of coffee in bed with you," Erin said.

Olivia rolled over and looked at Erin who was standing next to the bed already in uniform and hair pulled up.

"What time did you get up?" Olivia asked sitting up and securing the coffee cup from the nightstand next to the bed.

"About 5:30," Erin said. "I just want to get in the office before the meeting and try to transition as much as possible to our deputy PAO and talk to my three troops. I'm hoping that I can get everything done there I need to so I won't have to go back in after tomorrow."

"Makes sense," Olivia said.

"So will I still see you tonight?" Erin asked.

"Yes, I want to be here," Olivia said.

#-#

"Hey El. Sorry I'm late," Olivia said taking a seat at her desk. "Anything pressing?"

"Nope, and you're not really late," he said and smiled. "I didn't expect you to be in early this morning with Erin coming back yesterday."

Olivia took her jacket off and hung it on the back of her chair. When she swiveled in her chair towards her desk her right elbow knocked her half-full of coffee Styrofoam cup off her desk and onto the floor.

"Frickin' hell," she mumbled. Elliot reached into his desk and grabbed some napkins and handed them to Olivia.

"Hey El," she said as she finished cleaning up the coffee. "I am going to put in for Monday and Tuesday off."

"Okay," Elliot said with a questioning look.

"Erin got orders for Afghanistan yesterday," Olivia said quietly. "She leaves Wednesday."

"C'mon P," Elliot said standing up quickly and walking around to Olivia's desk. "Let's go get some fresh coffee down the street."

"Munch, we'll be back in a little bit," Elliot said as they walked out of the squad room.

#-#

"I'm sorry," he said as they walked the short distance to the diner. "How long?"

"Most likely a year," Olivia said. "Camp Phoenix in Kabul"

"That's where they train the Afghan National Army and the Coalition Joint Task Force is headquartered, right?" Elliot said.

Olivia cracked a half-smile. "Probably only one or two other people in this diner would know that," she said. "And I wasn't one of them 15 hours ago."

"Was Erin in Kabul the last time she was in Afghanistan?" Elliot asked.

"No, she was in Kandahar then."

"Liv, certainly it is dangerous over there no matter where you are and what your job is," Elliot paused. "But you know just like the Captain isn't beating the streets or executing warrants, Erin has earned a pretty high rank."

"Yeah," Liv said. "And ADAs aren't supposed to be shot either."

Olivia paused. "I'm sorry, El. Just a thought that was meant to stay that. I know what you're saying."

"So I know they're upping the troops over there, but still Wednesday is really quick," he said.

"Well she has to report to what used to be Fort Dix on Wednesday," Liv said.

"Yeah, it is some combined base now," Elliot said.

"And then she said she'll be flying over with some Reserve and Guard units on Sunday or Monday," Olivia said. "You know last night it was pretty much all about things that needed to be done before she leaves. We didn't really talk about what she is going to be doing over there yet."

"Why don't you take tomorrow off too," Elliot said. "I can take of all that is left with Joe Joseph and get it to Marlowe."

"Thanks El, but Erin has to finish wrapping things up at her office tomorrow anyway."

"What about taking the time for you," he said. "You have had one heck of a last week or so."

"I need to call Alex too," Olivia said. "But right now I just really want to spend as much time as possible with Erin before she leaves."

"And after?" Elliot asked.

"I'm having a hard time processing that right now," Olivia said. "I don't know."

#-#

"How's it going?" Olivia answered her phone.

"Quicker than I expected," Erin said. "Maybe that's why they're deploying my ass, figuring they're not getting their money's worth in this position," she laughed. "Anyway, I'm wrapping up and was thinking of picking up Thai on the way home."

"I can pick it up," Olivia said. "I'm going to leave here in the next 30 or so."

"Thanks for the offer, but you don't know where my favorite place is and it is on my way home," Erin said. "My dry cleaner is right next to it and I have to do a pick up there too."

"I'm going to run by my apartment quick. I need to get some clothes," Olivia said.

"No you don't" Erin quipped.

"For work," Olivia laughed. "I'll see you in a little while."

#-#

"Detective Benson," the officer called as Olivia was just about to exit the 1-6.

"Yes," she stopped and turned.

"Courier just delivered a package for you," the officer said holding up a Manila envelope.

"Okay," Olivia said walking to the desk. "Do I need to sign for it?"

"Yes please," the officer said pointing to the delivery log.

She was just about to toss the envelope on to the passenger seat of her car when she recognized the return address as Alex's. She opened the envelope and pulled out the contents.

_Liv,_

_Attached to this note is the journal I kept the first few months in Wisconsin .I don't know if you will want to read it all. I read it again recently, (and so did my therapist), and in parts you would think I was an astronomer with all the sky, moon, & stars references and analogies._

_I want to earn your trust. And I know it will take time, but I am determined to show that I will continue to be open and honest with you from now on and not run from my fears-_

_Love, Alex_

Olivia leaned her head back on the head rest.

"Reach out to the one you love," she thought. "Be strong for the one you are falling in love with, and keep your own shit together."

#-#

When Alex's phone rang for the third time Olivia was hopeful for voice mail, not knowing quite what to say if Alex answered, but knowing that a text message would not suffice for the note and the journal.

"Hey," Alex answered. "I just got out of the shower and had to run to the kitchen to grab the phone."

"Well that is really open and honest too," Liv laughed.

"So I guess you got the package," Alex said.

"I just got it a couple of minutes ago. I'm not the most gifted with words, but just the note you wrote really touched me," Liv said. "Thank you."

"I'm glad," Alex said. "But you know you don't have to read the journal. I just…"

"Alex, I do want to read it, but I was wondering if you would be ok.., comfortable with us getting together soon and reading it together," Olivia asked.

"I love you Liv, but please tell me you're not wanting me to read it out loud to you?"

"No," Olivia chuckled. "Like I said, I just got it a few minutes ago and I've only read the note. I was just thinking we could get together and share it and talk about it. And I can tell you what I was thinking those first few months too."

"That sounds good," Alex said. "I didn't edit anything out from what I originally wrote, so if we go through it together, then we can skip the really boring entries and bad analogies."

"I don't think I've ever seen a typo in anything you have written, even your e-mails, so I doubt there are any suspect analogies," Olivia said.

"Ah, but you have mainly read professional correspondence from Alex Cabot. You have yet to read the sometimes stoned musings of Emily," Alex said.

"Stoned! Get the fuck out," Olivia laughed.

"Well first of all detective I smoked all the evidence long ago, not to mention a statute of limitations. And by the end of month two I was trying to embrace my role as Emily," Alex said.

"I believe Mary-Louise Parker already has that role on Showtime," Olivia said.

"Strictly medicinal purposes and short-lived," Alex laughed. "My hook-up had cancer and died. Really nice old guy, he was."

"God, I needed a laugh," Liv said. "Hey, I was calling also to see if you can and want to meet for lunch tomorrow?"

"Sure, I'd like that," Alex said.

"I'll just give you a call in the morning then for time and place if that works."

"Sounds good," Alex said.

"Thank you again Alex. I'll see you tomorrow."


	24. Chapter 24

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 24 of ?

#-#

"I think you are one of few who can make half-laced tan combat boots and black shorts quite sexy," Olivia said.

"But my white tank isn't working for you," Erin laughed. "Got my packing list today and these are my lucky boots from Iraq. Just want to make sure they're still comfy."

"Lucky?"

"They're the ones that were on my feet when we left Iraqi airspace and when we landed in Dover," Erin said. "Wearing these over and taking two other pairs with me. You ready to eat?"

"Sure," Olivia said. "How long have you been home?"

"About 30 minutes. I just dumped a duffle and started washing extras tees, shorts, and socks and going through my inventory," Erin said putting the food in the microwave. "I have to bring my Dress Blues. Must be some Kabul Ball with the Taliban they haven't briefed me on yet."

Olivia shot Erin a stern look.

"What?" Erin smiled. "Don't try and tell me you all don't have some pretty morbid humor. Arrest a perp and see him on the street before you even have had a night's sleep. We just do it a little differently. We actually pay the locals during the day to do work on the compounds and about four of every 10 of them go out each night and attack us and/or pass on intelligence of how to do it more effectively."

"God I really wish you didn't have to go," Olivia said wrapping her arms around Erin.

"Me too," Erin said placing a soft kiss on the detective's lips. "Sorry I'm venting."

"Stop," Olivia said. "I want you to talk to me, to yell, to cry, whatever you need. I want to be here for you."

"Thank you," Erin said. "I think I am over my personal party now. More concerned about the troops I'll be getting and our mission," she said while getting the food out of the microwave.

"So can you talk about it?" Olivia asked as they sat at the dining room table.

"I can tell you," Erin smiled. "It might be a little sensitive depending on the results, but it is not confidential or classified. Do you ever watch _Independent Lens _on PBS?"

"I've seen it a few times. I saw the one about the female soldiers in Iraq that went out on those patrols and combat missions with all male units," Olivia said.

"Yep," Erin said. "_Lioness._ Doing the same type of thing in Afghanistan. Attach female soldiers to units they can't be assigned to because of direct combat rules. And in my case the Army is doing a more creative and multi-faceted shell game."

"How so," Olivia asked.

"I'm assuming temporary command of a Reserve mobile public affairs detachment out of Tennessee. They're understrength by about 40 percent or 12 soldiers. So I get to go through copies of these personnel files and make a wish list of 16 female soldiers to pull from a combat support battalion for my MPAD."

"So all these soldiers know they are going to Afghanistan though, but they don't know…" Olivia said.

"Right, so for example a female cook in this Reserve CSB will find out Thursday from her battalion commander and me that she will be assigned to my MPAD as a journalist for which she has no training," Erin said. "And I'll be sending her out on raids, patrols, etc… with all male units so she can search Afghan women and comfort children, and of course engage in direct combat when necessary. And if she can write a story about it when she comes back-bonus."

"So have these Reserve units had any training time?" Olivia asked.

"They were put on alert six months ago and have been on active duty training for the last 50 or so days," Erin said.

"So how did you get pulled into this?" Olivia asked.

"The major who was commanding the MPAD became medically non-deployable two weeks ago. So from what my colonel told me someone much higher than him at the Pentagon came up with the idea. And since I can spin a good Army story, am an MP and have prior deployments I'm their girl."

"Do you want a beer?" Olivia asked taking their now empty plates into the kitchen. "And do you know about how much you're going to have to go out?"

"Yes on beer, and I will likely spend the majority of my time inside the perimeter of Camp Phoenix," Erin said. "I'll be right back. I need to put clothes in the dryer and then I think we should talk."

"I'm going to go change," Olivia said.

#-#

"Hey," Olivia said as she wrapped her arms around Erin's waist from behind and perched her chin on Erin's shoulder.

"I haven't really spent any time in here in quite a while. Along with it being a tiny study, more like detention, I usually just sit on the couch with the wireless," Erin said.

"Your hair looked really good short too," Olivia said. "Is that your mom and dad with you?"

"Yeah, I love that picture," Erin said. "There was still a lot of bitterness from the divorce, but they both more than behaved that day I was commissioned. And that's Sheila in the picture to the right. The dog tags hanging there are hers. Her mom gave them to me."

"I didn't realize she was enlisted," Olivia said noticing the rank Sheila wore in the picture.

"Yep, enlisted and eight years older than me," Erin said. "She made me work hard to even get a date with her," Erin paused. "I don't think I'll need to put much in here in storage. I'll have to ask Jeff this weekend."

"I requested Monday and Tuesday off," Olivia said. "I can help with anything you need."

"Thanks," Erin said. "I really appreciate you being here for me."

"I want to spend as much time as possible with you before…" Olivia said.

"I want that too," Erin interrupted and turned to face Olivia. "After I leave though…well deployments are tough. They're tough on very solid relationships of many years. And I'm going to need to be focused on my troops and not like you need my permission, but I'm thinking it will be a good time for you and Alex to try and figure…"

"Alex and I have talked some over the last week, but she knows…"

"Liv, I don't need to know… I know she still loves you and I," Erin leaned forward and whispered in her ear, "I know you still love her."

"But that doesn't guarantee we would make a good couple," Olivia mumbled.

"Agreed," Erin said. "And I don't know what I would be saying if I didn't have orders to deploy. But I do," she sighed. "I've come to have really strong feelings for you in a pretty short time. But you and Alex need to find out if you could be, should be. And by the time I get back you two will have that resolved."

"You're pretty amazing," Olivia said.

Erin grinned. "I don't know about that. I'm rooting for the continuation of a platonic Cabot & Benson friendship. But we can't step time."

"So let's enjoy right now," Olivia said beginning a trail of kisses on Erin's neck. "I have those same pretty strong feelings for you. You need to lose the boots though."

"I thought you said I was rockin' the boots and the shorts," Erin said.

"Yes," Olivia said while removing Erin's tank top. "And this morning when you were in full uniform and then put the black beret on. Lord, I was done."

"So you want to fuck me while I'm wearing my uniform," Erin whispered.

"I think it should be added to the list of things we need to do before Wednesday, but right now I want you naked."

#-#

"Sorry I'm late," Alex said sliding into the booth at their favorite Mexican restaurant.

"No worries," Olivia said. "I'm glad you were able to meet later."

"Good work day or bad?" Alex asked pointing to Olivia's margarita.

"Good, because I think it is over," Olivia smiled. "That's why I wanted to push meeting until 2. I wanted to be wrapped up there for the day."

"I've got a conference call at 5, otherwise I'm done with work for the day," Alex said.

"Five o'clock on a Friday," Olivia said. "That sucks."

"With an attorney out in California. She might join the task force and she is very well connected, so she could be a huge asset," Alex said.

"I'm sure you will get her," Olivia said.

"Casey referred me to her. She called me yesterday," Alex said.

"So did Casey tell you about Erin?" Olivia asked.

"No," Alex said curiously.

"Erin got orders for Afghanistan on Wednesday," Olivia said. "She leaves next week."

"I'm sorry," Alex said. "How is she doing with it?"

"It's been a whirlwind," Olivia said. "A lot to take care of in a very short span of time."

"And how are you handling it?" Alex asked taking a sip from her drink.

"I'm worried about her," Olivia said. "Besides the obvious fact that it is dangerous over there her pre… her partner was killed over there 2 ½ years ago."

"Liv, when I was joking about her getting orders on Sunday I definitely wasn't hoping for Afghanistan or Iraq," Alex said. "I wish we could bring them all back home now."

"Thanks," Olivia said. "There's a lot to do before Wednesday and Casey and Jeff are helping with things too, but I want and need to help and be there too."

"I understand," Alex said.

"Thank you," Olivia said. "And after she leaves we can talk some more and go from there?" Olivia asked.

"Is that what you want?" Alex asked.

"What do you mean?" Olivia asked.

"Well you didn't tell me last night she was being deployed," Alex said.

"I didn't want to tell you on the phone and Erin and I… Alex, I didn't even know about it until about 8:30 Wednesday night."

"You started to say Erin's previous partner," Alex said.

"Look Alex, I don't have a manual for the past week of my life. I'm trying to be open and honest. Erin even thinks you and I need to figure out what we have, what we might be able to have."

"And when did she tell you that?" Alex asked.

"Last night. Why does that matter?" Olivia countered.

"Because I think that is more likely the reason you didn't tell me last night she was leaving," Alex said.

"Leaving, leaving… There's a big fuckin' difference between leaving and being ordered," Olivia stammered. "You should know that well."

They both sat in silence for several moments until the waiter returned to their table.

"Can I have a Corona please?" Olivia said. "Alex, do you want another margarita?"

"Yes please," Alex said softly looking up and wiping a tear from her eye.

"I'm sorry," Olivia said. "I don't want to fight. I shouldn't have said that."

"Are you in love with her?" Alex asked softly. "Don't try to protect me. I need to know the truth."

Olivia sighed. "I'm pretty sure I could fall in love with her-but the main reason she said what she did about us was because I did tell her that I still love you."


	25. Chapter 25

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 25 of ?

#-#

"What are you doing?" Erin asked walking into her guest bedroom.

"I'm stealing one of your Army PT shirts," Olivia smiled. "Your list says you need seven. You have nine. So I figure you don't need this one."

"Really detective," Erin laughed and then paused. "As adorable as I find that, I'm thinking Alex will view you in it much differently."

"So what….you want me to get with Alex, and we're just done," Olivia said looking at her watch, "when you leave in about 43 hours."

"No, I'm not meaning that," Erin said sitting next to Olivia on the floor. "I'm sorry. I just finalized my 12 female troops with the Reserve battalion commander. It is just an awesome responsibility and it affects so many lives."

"And that's why you shouldn't try to handle it all alone," Olivia said.

"It's tough being back home when someone you care about is deployed," Erin said.

"I can't just turn off my feelings for you," Olivia said. "And it would be a hell of a lot harder not hearing from you and wondering if you were ok. Look, I know when you get over there you are going to be busy and focused, but I want to know you are okay. I want to know how you are doing and be there for you at least as a friend."

"You know I'm really hating being in the Army right now. Ironically, if I would have been told three years ago I would be getting orders for an assignment like this I would have been salivating for what it could mean for my career," Erin said.

"As much as I don't want you to go, if I was one of those young soldiers I would want you as my commander," Olivia said.

"Thank you," Erin said as her lips met Olivia's. Olivia quickly intensified the kiss and pulled Erin on top of her as she lay back on the floor.

Erin smiled and glanced at her watch. "Thirty-five minutes until the cookout crowd arrives. Is there something you want detective?"

Olivia grabbed Erin's hand and guided it under the waistband of her shorts.

"Lord," Erin sighed feeling how wet Olivia was. "I didn't think folding my laundry…"

"I was thinking of other things while I was doing it," Olivia said.

"Maybe something like this," Erin whispered sliding two fingers inside her and massaging her clit with her thumb.

"Yes Erin," Olivia said, arching her hips seeking deeper contact. "Harder baby."

#-#

"Erin, I love you, but just relax now. You've packed up more than enough. I told you that yesterday. Everything is fine," Jeff said.

"Well, I just don't want to put too much on you," Erin said. "I made a master list of contacts from the movers to the plumber to the vet and stuff like that."

"If I have any questions along the way we'll just handle them via Skype or e-mail," Jeff said. "It's not like we have to mail letters across oceans and deserts."

"I think you are my real brother," Erin smiled "and Dylan is an annoying imposter."

#-#

"Come in," Olivia said opening the door for Elliot and Kathy. "Appreciate you guys coming. I know it's a bit of a drive, not to mention a Monday evening."

"Stop it Liv," Elliot said. "Means a lot that you included us."

"And as long as there isn't a pool table I might get a chance to talk to Erin a little more than I did at Humphrey's," Kathy smiled.

"No pool table. And we kept it small. Just you two, Casey and Jeff, and Stacey and Tonya. We play softball with Stacey and Tonya is her partner. They'll be here about seven," Olivia said.

"Hey Kathy. Hey Elliot," Erin called walking into the living room with Jeff. "Welcome to the abode of boxes and bags."

"Casey is on her way. She had to stop for beer and ice," Jeff said after greeting Kathy and Elliot.

"No tequila tonight for me Stabler," Erin said. "I don't even think I have any here," she added as she looked through her small liquor cabinet.

"Erin I say we save our next shot of tequila for when you come back home," Elliot said.

"Cheers to that," Erin smiled. "That was really sweet of you to say."

"Yeah honey," Kathy kidded. "You should be sweet and charming more often."

#-#

"Kathy I'll take Petraeus inside. He's been on your lap almost the whole evening," Erin said.

Erin reached for the small dog and carried him in the house and put him in a small crate in the study. As she turned to walk out of the room she saw Elliot walking past in the hallway.

"Elliot, you have a minute?" she asked.

"Sure, I was hoping we would get a chance to talk a minute or two."

"I'm not even sure what I want to say. I keep going back and forth between my head and my heart," Erin said. "I want her to be happy and worry about me as little as possible."

"She's going to worry about you," Elliot said. "But I'll be there for her and try to get her to talk about it. And you know Erin we're all going to worry some. You can't change that."

"Well I know from a few things she's said that it was really tough on her when Alex was in witness protection," Erin said.

"It was, but a part of that was not knowing where she was and how she was doing," Elliot said. "And not being able to talk to others. Liv and I were the only ones who knew Alex was still alive and in the program."

"You know if she chooses to be with Alex this deployment will at least help me to cope with that," Erin said.

"Well she hasn't said much to me, but I'm kind of thinking she has already made her choice," Elliot said. "And she's here with you… You two are great together…do you love her?"

"We haven't even known each other that long and so much has happened in the last 10 days especially," Erin said. "But, yes I do."

"Then tell her," Elliot said.

"But…" Erin started.

"She's been my partner for 12 years," Elliot said. "Trust me on this. Now let's get back outside before she gets suspicious and interrogates us both."

#-#

Olivia rubbed her eyes and glanced at the clock. 3:30 a.m. She crawled out of the bed, threw a t-shirt on and walked towards the living room looking for Erin. She saw Erin seated on the couch wrapped in a white robe, Petraeus in her lap and a photo album in her hands.

Erin turned her head hearing Olivia approach. "Did the light wake you?

"No," Olivia said taking a seat on the couch next to Erin. "Photos from your Iraq deployment?"

"Yes, and a few letters from relatives of those in my battalion who were killed or wounded," Erin said. "As a battalion commander I had 402 troops under me, and I tried to get to know as many of them as possible, but I didn't know four out of the seven who were killed on a personal level at all. Like I told you, the first four were killed within a week of being in country and I only had a few months in command at that point."

Olivia put her arm around Erin and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

"I guess what is bugging me the most is that in Iraq the troops I had, for the most part, were trained for what they would be doing," Erin said. "Now I'll have 22 under me with only five that either have significant training and/or experience in what they are going to be ordered to do."

"Erin that's not your fault. I know it sucks, but all you can do is get them as ready as possible and use your training and skills to do so. And they'll learn from you, and those under you who do have the training and experience," Olivia said.

"I know you're right," Erin said. "I need to get them trained, and fight for what they need… and make them believe in themselves."

"And I know you can and will do that," Olivia said getting up from the couch.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to get something I was going to give you in about three hours," Olivia said walking to the kitchen to grab her purse. She sat back on the couch and secured the small box from her purse with her hand.

"Okay," she said nervously. "I talked to Elliot and looked up some uniform regulations so I know you can't really wear-but you have said you like mine…" she continued, handing the box to Erin. "And you play with mine a lot."

"I love it," Erin said as she opened the box to see the slate "Fearlessness" tablet pendant with silver chain. "Thank you." She kissed Olivia and then got up and returned with her dog tags. She removed one of the dog tags from the silver chain and threaded the chain through the two loops on the pendant.

"I was hoping you might wear it with your dog tags," Olivia said. "That's why I got silver."

Erin slid the second dog tag back on the chain so the pendant rested between the two tags. She fastened the clasp of the chain and slid it around her head and down on her neck.

"Sexy," Olivia said, giving Erin a quick kiss. "Let's go back to bed. I'm freezing."

Erin took off her robe and placed it at the end of the bed and crawled under the covers. Olivia snuggled up next to her, resting her head on Erin's shoulder. Erin placed a soft kiss on the top of Olivia's head.

"I love you," Erin said.

Olivia tilted her head to look at Erin. "I love you too," she said.

#-#

"Thanks partner," Olivia said sitting down at her desk. "Like a buffet of breakfast options," she added looking through the bags on her desk.

"I ate a breakfast sandwich and a donut already, so take whatever you want," he said. "I'm figuring you didn't eat."

"Nope, cried about half the way here," she said. "Not to be morbid, but really could use a new case about now."

"I understand," Elliot said. "Don't have a new one, but Munch and I were working on this Tulley case from 18 months ago Monday and yesterday."

"And?" Olivia asked.

"Captain thinks it is worth re-interviewing a couple of people and a few new ones," Elliot said sliding the case file to Olivia.

"Sounds good," Olivia said. "I'll eat quick and read up."

"Hey, I was wondering, since you,.. well Casey said you all have a Bye tonight…do you want to come over for dinner?"

"I appreciate that El. And I'm glad we don't have softball tonight," she said. "I'm just going to go home tonight. I haven't been there in a week except to grab clothes."

"Ok," he said. "But if you change your mind…"

"Thanks," she smiled.

#-#

"Hell Alex," Olivia laughed. "If you are going to be at my door each time I buy groceries, I'll just give you the list."

Olivia grabbed her keys out of her pocket and opened her apartment door. Alex followed and closed the door behind her. Olivia started unpacking the groceries and opened a beer.

"Can I have a beer too?" Alex asked softly.

"Sure," Olivia said. "But I'm not thinking I'm real good company right now."

"I don't expect you to be," Alex said. "That's why I thought you could use a friend."

"That's sweet Alex," Olivia said. "But we have more than friendship feelings."

"True, but among other times, you were there for me with the Connors' trial and that wasn't easy," Alex said.

"How did you know I would be here? I usually have softball Wednesday nights," Olivia said.

"I talked to Casey and she said you didn't play tonight," Alex said. "I fly to California Sunday night. I'm meeting with the attorney Casey hooked me up with and several other people through her."

"Congrats," Olivia said. "Obviously the conference call went well on Friday. When are you coming back?"

"Redeye back Thursday night," Alex said.

"Okay, I was going to spend my evening doing laundry, having some pizza and beers and watching _Miss Congeniality,_" Olivia said. "Nothing heavy…including conversation?"

"That movie makes me laugh and I like pizza," Alex smiled.

"It's DiGiorno's pizza," Olivia said holding up the box.

"How about I buy some pizza for delivery because I want some wings too," Alex smiled.

"Partial pizza truths are fine as long as you're buying," Olivia said. "And just for the record," Olivia said as she put the pizza in the freezer. "It's pretty good for frozen."

"Operative word is frozen," Alex said.


	26. Chapter 26

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 26 of ?

#-#

The past 10 days had passed quickly and Olivia was grateful that she and Elliot had picked up two new cases and seemed close to solving the old Tulley case. She had worked almost entirely through the previous weekend and had had to cancel that Saturday's lunch with Alex because of one of the new cases.

She had received one succinct e-mail from Erin since she arrived at Camp Phoenix in Kabul. She was glad to get the e-mail and know that Erin had gotten there safely, yet the irony of being grateful that Erin had made it safely to one of the most dangerous places in the world wasn't lost on her.

Olivia sat on her couch, sipping her first cup of morning coffee and thumbed through different sections of the Sunday NY Times. She had spoken to Alex briefly once while she was out in California, and then again on Friday to confirm their plans for today.

She thought of opening and reading some of the journal Alex had sent to her nearly two weeks ago, but then decided that since she had waited so long already and they had agreed to read it together she could wait a few more hours until she was at Alex's apartment.

Olivia checked her personal e-mail account and hoped that there might be a new message from Erin, but there wasn't.

#-#

"Afternoon," Alex said, opening her apartment door for Olivia to enter. With phone pressed to her ear, Alex mouthed to Olivia that she would be finished with her call in a minute. Olivia grabbed a soda out of the refrigerator, placed the journal on the coffee table and took a seat on the couch. She pressed buttons on the TV remote control, but found her attention drawn more to Alex's side of the phone conversation.

"_I told you that you should add at least a couple of days to the trip for some fun."_

"_I already talked to Casey. She would love to see you."_

"_I_ couldn't _have asked for a better host in California, so it's not right for you to come out here Angie, and just sit through task force meetings."_

"_No, that sounds good. I'll talk to you Wednesday then. Enjoy your Sunday. Bye Angie."_

#-#

"Liv, do you want something to drink?" Alex asked after ending the call.

"No thanks," Olivia said holding up her soda.

"Sorry, that was Angie the attorney out in California," Alex said. "She joined the task force. It is a more limited role than I have because she has her own practice, but she has experience prosecuting and consulting on International Criminal Court cases. "

"Well, you told me on the phone from California she was joining the task force," Olivia said. "And I think I might have figured that out from your conversation, but that is awesome she has ICC experience too."

"I'm just excited," Alex said. "She's a great add alone, but we had some really positive meetings with some of her connections too. I learned a lot about navigating through international cases and politics."

"I'm glad it is going so well. Sounds like you had some fun on your trip too," Olivia said, probing for more information.

"Thanks," Alex said sitting on the couch with a glass of wine in hand. "It was a good trip. Weather was beautiful and had some fun. Angie took me to a vineyard the last day. I brought a few bottles of wine back, so if you want to try some after you finish your Coke."

"Sounds good," Olivia said. "You ready to get started on the journal?"

"Sure," Alex said grabbing the journal and sliding closer to Olivia. "I'm glad I bought the wine. I'm a bit nervous about this."

Olivia placed a hand on Alex's knee. "We can stop if it is too hard. And we don't need to go through it all in one day either. It is up to you and it means a lot that you are willing to share this with me."

#-#

"Alex you definitely did the right thing with letting me know that you were still alive," Olivia said after reading several pages of the journal. "And it certainly helped me that you insisted Elliot know too. I wish they would have let me have some contact with you, but I would have never forgiven myself if they had gotten to you again."

"Well that could have put you at even more risk, and I worried about you and Elliot because of your involvement in the case and that you were witnesses to my shooting. I would read the Times and the Daily News online because it was a comfort of my previous life that I could enjoy, but some days I'd be terrified to open those pages," Alex said. "I was afraid of reading about them getting to you or to Elliot."

"I wish you would have had someone to talk to. How often did you hear from Agent Hammond?" Olivia asked.

"Just once before my mother got sick," Alex said getting up from the couch. "Would you like some wine now?"

"Sure, same kind you're drinking please."

#-#

"How about we skip the next few pages," Alex blushed. They had been reading and talking for nearly two hours.

"We're about a month in now, I thought you didn't start smoking with 'Farmer Joe' until much later," Olivia smiled.

"That's not for like another 35 pages," Alex laughed.

"What then Alex?" Olivia asked.

"Well I was just missing you a lot," she said refilling their wine glasses. "And you know in the last 10 pages or so I wrote about regrets of times I wanted to just ask you to a movie or dinner, but I hadn't and how I feared I might not ever have the opportunity to even be your friend again because of WPP…"

"I understand," Olivia said. "Like I said, I wanted more too, but there were so many times while you were in the program when I was working a case that I wished I could just walk to that office and you would be there. Hell, I missed arguing with you about warrants and probably would have conceded on a few just for the opportunity to hear your voice again."

Olivia sighed. "I'd be in bed at night sometimes and talk out loud imagining I was having conversations with you-sometimes about what was currently going on and sometimes about things I wish I would have said or done."

"The next few pages are more about what I wish I would have done before we were to go to the cabin since we didn't get that opportunity," Alex said softly looking directly into Olivia's eyes.

"I thought about those things a lot too. And I imagined what that weekend at the cabin would have been like with you," Olivia said holding Alex's gaze.

"Do you still?" Alex asked leaning forward and tracing two fingertips across Liv's cheek and down one side of her neck.

"Yes," Olivia breathed. "But…"

Alex closed the last inches between their lips, kissing her tenderly and then pulling away just slightly.

"I think we have had far too many thoughts and regrets on what we wish we would have done then," Alex said.

Alex could see Olivia was about to voice another concern. She dropped her head slightly and began placing soft kisses on Olivia's neck.

"I want to be with you Liv," Alex whispered. "What we are feeling right now-no regrets about what we didn't do then and what you might decide in the future. Just us right now."

"I want you too," Olivia breathed deeply, guiding Alex's mouth to her lips with her fingers. Alex parted Olivia's lips with her tongue. She quickly undid the buttons on her own blouse and guided Olivia's hands to the exposed flesh.

"Let's go to the bedroom," Alex said sliding the blouse off her shoulders and tossing it on the couch.

"God you're beautiful," Olivia said standing up and kissing Alex's shoulder.

#-#

Alex teased the inside of Olivia's thighs with her fingers while her lips and tongue worked a hardened nipple. Olivia arched into the contact consumed by the feeling of Alex's naked body on her own.

"Tell me what you want Liv," Alex said, looking up at the detective as she planted soft kisses on and between her breasts.

"I want to taste you while your fingers are inside me," Olivia said. Alex didn't hesitate. Olivia had almost always imagined that if they were together she would be the aggressor, but Alex's confidence and assertiveness had her soaked and trembling already. Alex straddled Olivia's shoulders, her blonde hair cascading around her neck and shoulders. She slid her right hand further up Olivia's thigh, fingers rolling up and down Olivia's clit briefly and then between her folds.

"Oh God, Alex," Olivia moaned. Alex entered her with two fingers, stroking her interior walls gently. Olivia slid her hands down Alex's back and then cupped her ass pulling her sex to her lips and tongue. She thrust her tongue inside Alex. Alex pushed harder into Liv's stiff tongue. She threw her head back and inserted a third finger inside Olivia stroking deeper and harder.

Olivia's legs began to shake, the intensity of a swelling climax traveling to and from her core. She withdrew her tongue from inside Alex and sucked her swollen nub with her lips, stroking the bundled nerves with the tip of her tongue.

Olivia's body convulsed in ecstasy as Alex thrust and her curled her fingers inside her. The feeling of Olivia's climax sent Alex over the edge and Olivia lapped the river of juices which came from Alex with her tongue.

Alex extended her body across the length of Olivia's, both still panting from their climaxes. Alex nuzzled her head in between Olivia's neck and shoulder. Olivia wrapped her arms around Alex's back, holding her close.

"That was even better than what I imagined and wrote in my journal," Alex whispered after a few moments of contented silence.

"And better than all the times I fantasized about being with you," Olivia said.


	27. Chapter 27

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 27 of ?

#-#

"How about we get up and go get some dinner?" Olivia asked Alex who was still snuggled up in the detective's arms.

"I don't want to get up," Alex said kissing Olivia's neck softly. "But I am pretty hungry. You want to order in or go out?"

Olivia kissed Alex on the cheek and slid her arm out from under her.

"Either is fine," Olivia said reaching to the floor to gather her clothes. She looked at her watch. "I'm on call in half an hour. Munch has something he has to do tonight so I told him I would take it starting at 7 p.m."

"That's nice of you to take his call tonight," Alex said.

"I owe him one," Olivia said turning her head back and giving Alex a quick kiss before standing up, once again fully clothed. "I'm going to go get a water. Do you want anything?"

"Water would be great," Alex said walking to the bathroom. "I'll be out in a minute."

#-#

"I'm glad you wanted pasta too," Olivia said after they placed their orders at the Italian restaurant a couple of blocks from Alex's apartment. "Did you have any favorite hangouts when you were in Wisconsin?"

"A little corner bar named Stuckey's. An old white vinyl sided building that if not for the Old Style sign hanging from the front could have been mistaken for the only single story house on the block," Alex smiled.

"What did you like about it?" Olivia asked.

"I was usually the youngest person in there unless someone's adult child or in some cases adult grandchild was home for a visit. Mainly veterans and retired steelworkers who hung out there. Loved hearing their stories, their opinions and their debates," Alex smiled.

"Is that where you met 'Farmer Joe?'" Olivia smiled.

"Actually Ted," Alex smiled, "was a neighbor and he brought me to Stuckey's, which was really helpful in the regulars accepting me. Just a lot of good and genuine people…" Alex paused and fiddled with her drink.

"What?" Olivia asked.

"It may sound crazy, but I've mentioned to Dr. Southerly, that I have a desire to go back there for a few days or a week. I didn't like lying to those friends I made there. And I know there were a few whom suspected 'Emily' was either hiding things or even lying about her past."

"I don't think that sounds crazy at all," Olivia said. "What does Dr. Southerly think?"

"I'm not sure yet," Alex said. "When I brought it up she spun it back on me with, 'Why do you think that would be important for you to do,'" Alex laughed.

"And your answer was?" Olivia asked.

"Because they helped me and I enjoyed spending time with them, and I would like the opportunity to be honest with them and thank them," Alex said. "Emily just disappeared on them too."

"I hope Dr. Southerly thinks it is a good idea," Olivia said. "It sounds good to me."

"Well at least we got to finish our meals," Alex said hearing Olivia's phone ring.

"Benson," she answered. "Hey Fin…"

#-#

Olivia and Alex quickly paid their bill and left the restaurant. Olivia walked with Alex up to her apartment.

"Thank you for today," Olivia said standing just inside the apartment's front door. "I'm sorry I have to rush out now."

"I understand," Alex said leaning forward to kiss Olivia. "Thank you for today too," she whispered as Olivia's phone began ringing again.

"Got to run. I'll call you tomorrow," Olivia said opening the door, stepping into the hall and waving goodbye.

"I'm on my way," Olivia answered her phone as she walked quickly down the stairs.

"Well that would be really nice, but it is a hell of a long flight, and I can't recommend the food or the accommodations," Erin said.

"Oh my God! How are you? And what the hell are you doing up so early?" Olivia asked.

"It's almost 5 a.m. here and I haven't really slept much. A couple of my troops just returned a couple of hours ago from their first time out on a sweep. They did great," Erin said.

"I'm so glad they did well," Olivia said. "And sorry I answered the phone the way I did. Thought it was Fin. We just got a new case and I'm on my way to Mercy General."

"I've got to get going anyway," Erin said. "I was just hoping to catch you for a few."

"I'm glad you did," Olivia said.

"Me too. Be careful. I'll call you next week," Erin said.

"Thanks EHT," Olivia said. "You be careful too."

#-#

"Morning partner," Olivia said as Elliot took a seat at his desk.

"What time did you come in?" he asked.

"About seven. Fin and I caught a case last night," Olivia said.

"And?" Elliot asked.

"We wasted three and a half hours of our time on a false allegation because the woman didn't want to lose her sugar daddy of a husband because of her affair," Olivia sighed. "I hate when women do that."

"How did you guys unravel it so quickly?" Elliot asked.

"Husband had a PI trailing his wife for a month. He told her he believed that she had been raped to see how far she would go with the claim. He figured with no pre-nup, criminal charges for filing a false report combined with the affair would be to his financial benefit."

"What time did you wrap it up?" Elliot asked.

"I got home around one. Didn't sleep well, so I just came in," Olivia said.

#-#

Olivia walked into her apartment about 6 p.m., exhausted. She stretched her legs out on the couch, sipped a beer and turned on CNN.

_And in Afghanistan today at a remote base outside of Kandahar two Marines were killed and three wounded in a firefight. This brings the death toll in Afghanistan…_

Olivia turned the TV to a music channel, grabbed a pillow, finished her beer and then quickly fell hours later Olivia woke up in a cold sweat, pulse racing. After she oriented herself she tried to recall more details of the nightmare she had just awoken from.

"What the fuck," Olivia thought of the dream in which both Alex and Erin were being held at gunpoint by a man dressed all in black, face covered by a ski mask.

#-#

Alex looked at the clock in her bedroom. It was nearly 10 p.m. and she hadn't heard from Olivia at all.

"Don't assume she regrets," Alex told herself. Alex knew she didn't regret making love with Olivia even with their future uncertain. Deep inside she had hoped the intimacy would immediately lead to the monogamous relationship, partnership she desired, but she knew that was unlikely. And intellectually, even if Olivia wasn't torn between her and Erin, she knew their future success was dependent on more than a lot of great sex.

"Hey you," Alex answered her phone.

"I'm sorry it is so late," Olivia said. "I didn't get much sleep with that case last night and then I fell asleep on the couch after work."

"Tough case?" Alex asked.

"No, there was no case. Woman made a false allegation because she didn't want to be caught having an affair by her husband," Olivia said. "They both pissed me off. How was your day?"

"Not bad for a Monday," Alex said.

There was a moment of silence before Alex spoke again.

"Do you regret yesterday?" Alex asked.

"No, I don't," Olivia said. "It was beautiful, but honestly Alex I haven't had much time to think about us since last night."

"Are you up for dinner tomorrow night?" Alex asked. "I know you have softball Wednesday and I have a function Thursday night."

"Dinner tomorrow sounds good," Olivia said. "I'll call you in the afternoon. And sorry again about calling so late."

"Liv," Alex laughed. "It is only 10:30 now."

"I guess I'm still beat and it seems later," Olivia said.

"Get some sleep," Alex said.

"Thanks. Night you."

#-#

"Alex," Olivia nearly shouted into her phone.

"I'm here," Alex said loudly. "Hold on."

Olivia pulled the phone slightly away from her ear, the loud sounds coming from wherever she reached Alex nearly piercing her eardrum.

"Liv, you still there?" Alex asked a few moments later.

"Yes," Olivia answered bringing the phone back to her ear.

"Sorry, I was walking past a construction zone," Alex said.

"Well unfortunately I'm standing outside the apartment of our latest rape/homicide. Victim's 10 year-old daughter was found beaten and unconscious so I need to head over to the hospital and talk to her. They said she is waking up," Olivia said.

"That's awful," Alex said. "Go do what you have to do and call me later if you want to talk."

"I'm sorry about dinner," Olivia said.

"You know I understand," Alex said. "That girl needs you."

#-#

Alex awoke to a knock on her door. She looked through the peephole and saw Olivia.

"I'm sorry I woke you," Olivia said looking at Alex as she entered the apartment.

"I dozed off on the couch just a little bit ago," Alex said looking at the clock on the DVR. "I know I watched at least a few minutes of the 11 o'clock news. I'm glad you're here."

"Can I grab a beer?" Olivia asked looking in the refrigerator.

"Sure," Alex said. "I ordered Thai tonight and there's plenty left over. I'm sure you didn't eat."

Alex sat back down on the couch.

"Come here and talk to me," she said.

Olivia sat down and rested her head on Alex's shoulder. Alex slid a leg behind Olivia and scooted back to the armrest so Olivia could lean against her. She wrapped her arms around Olivia's waist.

"You comfortable?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, that's nice," Olivia said.

"How's the girl?" Alex asked.

"She certainly didn't have a dream life before tonight, but now what a fucking nightmare," Olivia sighed. "Her own fuckin' father rapes and murders her mother in front of her and then knocks her unconscious."

"Did you catch him?" Alex asked.

"He was a pretty easy catch, the coward went back to his apartment and put a bullet through his head," Olivia said. "The mother had finally kicked him out for good a few months back and then she started seeing another guy…"

"And so if he couldn't have her, nobody could," Alex finished.

They talked for another hour or so before Olivia started yawning.

"Come on," Alex said. "Let's get some sleep."

"Are you sure it is okay I crash here?" Olivia asked.

"Of course," Alex said getting up from the couch and extending a hand to pull Olivia up. "I'm tired too. I want you to stay."


	28. Chapter 28

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 28 of ?

_Sorry last minute meeting with the Captain. I'm on my way._

Alex glanced at the text message and quickly responded.

_No worries. Having drinks with Angie and her friend Tom._

It had been a long week and Olivia didn't feel much like socializing with new people, yet after hearing more than she cared to about the dynamic attorney the past two weeks, her curiosity had peaked. It was great to hear Alex talking so passionately about work again, and Angie and her connections were playing a significant part in that rejuvenation. Yet Olivia wondered if Alex's admiration of the attorney might extend beyond professional interest.

In the previous two weeks both of their work schedules had been heavy. They had managed to squeeze in one breakfast, three lunches, and one SVU work interrupted dinner, followed by great late night sex after Olivia returned to her apartment and found Alex still there. The One-Six had been very busy, but Olivia knew she was also using work as her refuge, as a way to avoid making decisions she not only didn't want to make, but decisions she wasn't ready to make.

Olivia was grateful that tomorrow's division championship would be the last softball game of the Spring Season. Casey had asked her to play in the Summer Season which would start the second week of July, but Olivia said she would only play if they needed an emergency fill-in. Playing the games themselves Olivia still found rather fun, with her competitive nature and teammates she enjoyed. Yet it wasn't the same without Erin, and the drive to and from often found her grumpy, worried, guilty, and/or crying.

Olivia found it a bit ironic that she almost wished Alex or Erin would make the decision for her. She trusted now that if Alex and she had issues, fights, or disagreements they could and would talk through them and not deny them or run away. Yet she had a level of comfort, ease and trust with Erin from the start. She didn't know if it was mainly Erin who had dictated that tone or if she was just more willing to be open and honest and take risks with her heart that she had been afraid to before.

"Hey Melinda," Olivia said answering her iPhone. "You on your way home yet?"

"I was calling to ask you the same," Melinda said. "I wanted to see if you wanted to meet up for a few drinks."

"I'm walking to Malloy's now," Olivia answered. "Meeting Alex there and a few of her friends. Why don't you join us?"

"I don't want to intrude," Melinda said.

"Don't be silly. Alex would love to see you too and I think her friends are only staying for a bit before they go to dinner. Besides I want to buy you a drink or two for expediting those tests this week."

#-#

"You must be Angie," Olivia said extending her right arm towards the lanky, tanned and toned, sandy blonde.

"Nice to meet you Olivia," Angie said shaking the detective's hand. "This is my friend Tom or Tommy," she said placing a hand on the slender, well-dressed man's shoulder.

"Hi Tom," Olivia said.

"Nice to meet you detective," he replied. "My dad was a detective up in Syracuse; he was pretty disappointed I became a hairstylist."

"You have to follow your passion," Olivia replied.

"Very true," Angie said.

"Hey Alex," Olivia smiled. "Melinda called me on the way over. She is going to join us for a few drinks. I am going to see if I can find another chair. Does anybody need another drink?"

"Wait," Angie said, placing a hand on Olivia's arm. "Tom this is your opportunity. Go ask for the chair at the table with the guy you have been drooling over. Olivia what do you want to drink?"

"MGD or Michelob if you are going up," Olivia said. "Thank you."

Olivia plopped in the chair next to Alex.

"It's good to see you," Alex whispered. "I'm glad you invited Melinda."

"Good. I thought you'd be fine with it. We've had a long week. I'm so glad it is Friday," Olivia said.

The evening rolled into night with Olivia spending most of her time talking to Melinda. Alex interjected occasionally, but in trying to be a good host she remained engaged in conversation with Angie and Tom.

"Do you want to leave after this round and get something to eat?" Alex asked Olivia.

"I'm hungry and it is so crowded and loud in here," Olivia said. "Is it okay if Melinda comes with?"

"Sure, Angie and Tom prefer pizza, so if that is good we could just pick a couple up and go back to my apartment," Alex said.

"I thought they had dinner plans already," Olivia said.

"They were just going to get dinner together, but decided they would rather stay with us," Alex said.

"Us or you?" Olivia said.

"I guess me since you have hardly said two words to Angie," Alex said.

"I think she is much more interested in anything you have to say," Olivia replied.

"Since it is so loud in here that's why I think going back to my apartment would be good. We can all talk comfortably," Alex said.

"Ok," Olivia said.

#-#

After the pizza was long finished and conversation had dwindled some, Olivia approached Alex in the kitchen.

"Melinda is ready to leave and I am going to head home too. I'm exhausted," Olivia said.

"I'd like you to stay, but I understand," Alex said.

"You all are having fun, but I can't stop yawning, so I'm not being great company," Olivia said.

"You want to do lunch tomorrow?" Alex asked.

"How about Sunday? Casey is hosting a lunch tomorrow for the softball team and then our game is at four."

"Oh yes the championship. Good luck," Alex said.

"Thanks," Olivia said giving Alex a quick kiss on the cheek. "I'll call you tomorrow night."

#-#

"Benson," Olivia mumbled into her phone while glancing at her clock which read 12:30 a.m.

"I woke you. I'm sorry," Erin said.

"Don't worry. It is great to hear your voice. I miss you," Olivia said.

"Back at you," Erin said.

"How are you?" Olivia asked.

"One of my troops was wounded last night during a raid," Erin said. "She was medevac'd to Germany today."

"I'm sorry," Olivia said. "Is she going to be okay?"

"She should heal up physically fine," Erin said. "She was one of the best of the 12 I pulled from the CSB, so it has a few of the weaker ones shook up a bit."

"What about you?" Olivia asked.

"I'm ok, but I did call you in the middle of the night knowing I would probably wake you up," Erin half-laughed.

"Well I'm wearing that Army t-shirt, so…" Olivia started.

"You just made my day," Erin smiled.

"Good," Olivia said. "We play in the championship game today. Casey is feeding us a light lunch and then running us through a short practice before the game."

"Not surprising," Erin laughed. "Send me a picture of you all with the trophy, ok?"

"Absolutely," Olivia said. "Have you talked to your dad recently?"

"I called the other day but he was out on some recreation activity. I talked to Dylan though and he said he is adjusting well," Erin said. "Surprisingly, Dylan actually apologized to me and told me not to worry about anything with dad or his house. Said he would handle things."

"Wow, that's a nice change," Olivia said. "Wish he would have been like that from the start."

"Well, I'll take it now," Erin said. "How was your week?"

"Pretty busy, but I'm liking it that way," Olivia said. "But I am glad I'm not on call this weekend."

"Good. Try to get some rest then okay?" Erin said. "Oh and give Petraeus a hug for me."

"I will," Olivia said. "Hey Erin-Fearlessness."

"Fearlessness. I'll call you again soon," Erin said.

"Please do," Olivia said.

#-#

"Hi Alex. What's up?" Olivia answered her phone.

"Did you get some sleep?" Alex asked.

"Yes, I feel much better. Thanks for understanding," Olivia said.

"Casey called a few minutes ago and invited Angie and me up for lunch and to cheer you all on," Alex said. "Can we follow you or ride with you?"

"Why don't you just follow so you two have a car while we are practicing?" Olivia suggested. "I plan on leaving here about 11:30," Olivia paused. "You two have become almost inseparable."

"She was a great host out in California, so I've wanted her to have some fun while she is here," Alex said. "Besides I am glad Casey invited me to watch you guys play."

"I thought watching a softball game would bore you," Olivia said.

"I'm not a softball player, but I did play volleyball through high school and I was pretty good," Alex said. "Is that the only reason you haven't invited me?"

"Probably not," Olivia sighed. "But since Casey invited you it is not a concern."

"What does that mean?" Alex quipped.

"C'mon Alex, Jeff is Erin's best friend and I just thought that even if you were interested in coming to the games, which I didn't think you would be, it would be a bit insensitive to have you in the stands right after she deployed."

"So now that it has been nearly six weeks it is ok in Olivia's rulebook," Alex said.

"I was trying to say obviously Casey and Jeff want you to come too, so I am glad that you are coming," Olivia said. "I'm sorry. How about we just stick to plan and you two come over here about 11:15?"

"Ok," Alex said while answering her door. "Hey Angie is here. We'll see you in a little while."

"Hey Alex. Would you want to go out of town for a few days soon? We both have so many things going on here lately with work."

"I think that would really help sort through some things," Alex said. "See you at 11:15."


	29. Chapter 29

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback. Sorry for the longer than expected delay in getting this chapter up. Thanks for reading and the comments!**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 29 of ?

#-#

"Your fuckin' former partner," Olivia said slamming the squad car door as she got in the passenger's seat. "Has to come out to the crime scene to check our work, but won't do her own and get us a warrant."

Elliot shifted the car from Drive back into Park. He looked over at Olivia and took a deep breath before speaking.

"Liv, you know I want to get this guy too, but Marlowe's right we don't have enough for a warrant yet. We'll get it, but it isn't going to be today," Elliot said.

Olivia nodded in agreement, but remained silent.

"I know she only has two weeks left as our ADA, but she's not mailing it in. She came out here looking for enough to get a warrant," Elliot added quietly.

"I'm just so fucking tired of the ADA parade. It is almost like when we started and didn't have a dedicated ADA," Olivia said tapping on her iPhone trying to get her e-mail application to load.

"So you have any plans after work?" Elliot asked as he pulled out of the parking space.

"No," Olivia sighed.

"Good, then let's drop the car off at the motor pool and go to Humphrey's," Elliot said. "I want a few beers and we haven't been able to talk about anything but work for a while."

"I would like that," Olivia said quietly, surprising Elliot by not declining or at least arguing.

#-#

"So what's going on partner?" Elliot asked taking a seat across from Olivia in the booth and handing her a beer.

Olivia tipped her bottle towards Elliot's and took a long swig of beer.

"You know I haven't done well with relationships," she smirked. "And now I basically have two simultaneous ones—and they're both great women."

"I agree," Elliot laughed. "You have much better taste in women than you ever did in men."

"I concur, but I did date some decent guys," Olivia said smiling briefly.

"I don't know El, a couple of months ago when we were here and Alex finally told me that weekend how she felt, -I guess I kind of figured she owed it to me to not expect me to just drop Erin and get with her."

"And now?" Elliot asked.

"I feel, well I know, that I am being unfair to both Erin and Alex," Olivia said picking at the label on her bottle of beer. "And it's not like Erin and I can really talk on the phone or write things on e-mail because of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, so she doesn't know where Alex and I are at. Hell, I was basically given permission by both of them to figure out what and who I wanted and yet the guilt is tearing me up, but the fear of making the wrong choice…"

Elliot signaled for another round as the waitress approached their booth. After chugging the rest of her beer Olivia continued.

"But I know I can't keep doing this. Yet I keep going back and forth in my head and my heart," Olivia sighed. "And Alex and I are supposed to go up to Lake Placid for a three-day weekend in nine days and I want to go, but yet I feel like I'm totally betraying Erin."

"So was it just because of Erin that Alex finally told you how she felt," Elliot questioned.

"No. She was working up to it. She had gotten into counseling after coming back from Africa for various reasons, but us included." Olivia paused and then half-smiled. "And you interrupted a couple of our lunches before she knew about Erin, so she was getting there."

Elliot fiddled with a cocktail straw he had picked up at the bar earlier.

"So when you go back and forth between them in your mind and in your heart, who do you more often see yourself with?"

Olivia exhaled and ran a hand through her hair. "Sixty-40 Erin," she said quietly.

"Do you trust Alex now?" Elliot asked.

"I trust that she loves me," Olivia replied firmly. "And I guess for such a long time I believed that if we ever admitted our feelings for each other and got together, that that would be it, and everything would just fall into place from there." Olivia blushed, "Like some romantic movie I guess."

She paused and took another sip of her beer.

"But you know when she left after Greylek to go to Albany, I gave up on parts of what I thought we could be or would be if we ever got together. I think I just accepted that she didn't feel as much for me as I felt for her," Olivia stated. "I don't know," she started again, "I guess I didn't truly accept it because I was still holding on to a lot of resentments, hurt and anger."

"Well I will tell you Liv," Elliot cracked a half-smile. "Kathy and I are still working through some things like that. The difference is we are both committed to doing so now."

"Now that Alex and I really do talk, we have been able to make a lot of progress, come to a lot of understandings about why each of us did or didn't do certain things-so that has been great," Olivia said. "I guess that's what kind of baffles me. I feel like we can work through things and talk through things now," Olivia wiped a tear away from her cheek.

"But what?" Elliot asked softly.

"I love her, I think I always will," Olivia hesitated. "And it is great to have her so passionate about her work, passionate about life again, but now that she isn't running from things, from herself anymore I wonder if what she wants now won't be dramatically different from what she wants a year or two from now."

"But you said that you trust that she loves you," Elliot questioned.

"I did and I believe that, but she's going back to Africa for two and a half weeks a few days after we get back from Lake Placid. And she's going there with her new best buddy Angie," Olivia said sarcastically.

"So who is this Angie your jealous of?" Elliot said flatly.

"An old attorney friend of Casey's that is on the task force with Alex now," Olivia said. "And I don't know that I'm jealous of her. Okay maybe a bit concerned by her. I think she is interested in Alex but I don't think it is mutual."

"So why is it bothering you so much then?" Elliot asked.

"A few reasons," Olivia replied quickly. "Alex and I haven't talked about what a future for us might look like. I think a good part of that has been because of me, because of Erin. But I suppose also because Alex is just finding herself again. I mean before I met Erin, I thought Alex would be the only woman that I would ever be attracted to and if we never got together-I don't know-that I'd probably find some guy to hang out with after I retire. I wonder now that Alex and I can finally be together if the timing is such that we might be headed in different directions with what we want."

Elliot scratched the side of his head with his index finger and chewed on the cocktail straw.

"What?" Olivia asked.

"Ok," he sighed. "I think Alex is a great woman, and I am so glad you two have finally gotten honest with each other-and maybe I am biased because I know Alex better than Erin, which has allowed me to see a lot of the great qualities she has-and also her flaws," Elliot hesitated, "like we all have. But I have never seen you more comfortable or happier than I have when you are with Erin, when you talk about Erin, when you get an e-mail from her."

The waitress stopped at their booth and Olivia ordered two more beers and a couple of more cocktail straws for Elliot to chew on and fiddle with, drawing a laugh from all three.

"But I do think," Elliot said, the smile so visible just seconds ago now removed, "that when you go to Placid you need to talk to Alex about what she would want for you two as a couple in a long-term relationship. I don't think that is leading her on. You both need to know how each of you would see a future together."

Olivia played with one of the cocktail straws the waitress had just brought with their beers.

"Erin does make me really happy," Olivia said. "And it's been quick, but we just seem to work so well together and it could have easily collapsed with my work interruptions, telling her about Alex after not telling her, and of course all the stress she has been under with first her dad, stuff with her brother and now Afghanistan. We've had a lot thrown at us, well I threw some of it," she smiled.

"And if you do decide you want to be with Erin," Elliot started, "as long as you are honest with yourself and with Alex-it might take her awhile, but I think that you two will be able to stay friends."

"I don't want to hurt Alex period," Olivia said, "but I hope that if Erin and I stay together, get together, that you are right about Alex."

"Partner," he said reaching a hand across the table and resting it on her forearm, "you deserve to be happy, and you have two very smart women who know that and want that for you also. It is going to work out."

"And you never thought therapy could really help much," Olivia laughed. "Does Kathy have you watching Dr. Phil now too?"

Elliot laughed. "Not yet, but I should probably head home after this beer, before she thinks of that. -Actually things are really good," he smiled. "And I'm grateful."

"I'm really glad El. And thank you." Olivia finished the rest of her beer. "You really helped and I appreciate it."

They got up from the booth after arguing over the tab, which Olivia paid, and walked towards the door. Olivia felt the vibration of her phone on her waist.

"Benson," she answered.

"Busy?" Erin asked.

"No Erin," Olivia smiled as Elliot gave her a pat on the shoulder and a smile as they walked to get their cars. "Elliot and I just left Humphrey's and I'm going home."

"Good news day here," Erin exclaimed. "My troop who was wounded was flown back to the States. She'll be doing her rehab and recovery at a VA Hospital an hour from her parents and her boyfriend. And I made the promotions list. I'll be pinning on a full-bird in March."

Olivia slapped Elliot on the shoulder with the back of her hand. "Erin's going to be a full-bird colonel in March," she exclaimed.

"Congrats colonel," Elliot yelled loud enough for Erin to hear. "Can't wait 'til you're back home."

"Thanks El," she yelled back.

"Well deserved," Olivia said as Elliot waved goodbye in the parking lot. "So happy for you."

"Thanks! How are you doing?" Erin asked.

"Really good now," Olivia said.

"Good. Hate to cut this so short, but I have a mission. Just wanted to hear your voice and share some good news. I'll call you on Sunday."

"Wait," Olivia said firmly. "You have a mission? You're going out?"

"I do, I am and I have already a few times," Erin replied quickly. "Liv, I really have to go-Fearlessness baby."

"Fearlessness," Olivia breathed deeply. "Be careful Erin."

"Just like you always are too," Erin said sincerely. "I'll e-mail as soon as I can when we get back in and I will talk to you Sunday. Bye you."

"Bye," Olivia said into the already silent line.


	30. Chapter 30

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback. (Disclaimer—I like R & I, don't love it-but have watched every episode so far, even last night's marathon murders—least favorite one by far—just thought of throwing a 'ill reference or two to it in this chapter).**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 30 of ?

#-#

Olivia awoke on the couch and glanced at the clock on the DVR. 2:15 a.m. it read. She sat up, stretched out her arms and rolled her neck trying to relieve the tightness from the awkward position she had fallen asleep in. She grabbed her laptop from the coffee table and quickly accessed her e-mail again. It had been over seven hours since she spoke to Erin and nearly two hours since she last checked her e-mail, but still no message from her.

"Damn it," Olivia muttered to herself getting up from the couch and walking to her bedroom to change into shorts and a t-shirt. She grabbed a bottled water from the refrigerator and sat back on the couch. She flipped the channels on the remote until she came upon an episode of Rizzoli & Isles on TNT.

"Jesus Jane," she said out loud after a few minutes of viewing. "Maybe you should eat something rather than do yoga. Can't believe Munch likes this show."

Olivia refreshed her e-mail again. Another message that should have not made it through her spam quarantine popped up.

_Make $400.00 per day working from home part-time_

"Only if that wire transfer from Nigeria doesn't come through," Olivia laughed. Finally, just as Rizzoli & Isles ended an e-mail message from Erin appeared.

_Hopefully you are sleeping sound and will read this in the morning. All is fine, just took longer than we anticipated. No shots fired and mission accomplished. Headed to After Action Review in a few. Exhausted, but good. BTW, got a video camera for my laptop now. How about video Skype on Sunday? Would love to see you. Have a good Friday!_

_Fearlessness_

_E "HT"_

Olivia quickly responded.

_Thank you for letting me know. So glad you are back at Camp Phoenix! I did fall asleep for a while, but woke back up and checked my e-mail a few times. Going back to bed soon. Skype sounds great-feel the same. Miss you._

_Fearlessness_

_Liv_

#-#

"God we're 50 miles north of Albany. I can't believe we're hitting traffic," Alex mused while braking the car to about 20 miles per hour.

"Maybe it's a moose crossing," Olivia joked, enjoying the open top on Alex's dark blue convertible.

"We're on I-87 Liv," Alex snapped. "I know it is primitive compared to the city, but it is an interstate.

"Geez Alex, I was just kidding. It's probably just construction and once we pass it, it will be smooth sailing the rest of the way," Olivia said.

"I'm sure you're right," Alex sighed. "I just thought we'd be there by now."

"I got out of work as soon as I could Alex," Olivia said defensively.

"You were only 20 minutes late…" Alex stated.

"You sure it wasn't 21?" Olivia snapped. "Why are we in such a frickin' hurry anyway? I can't imagine the cabin you booked doesn't have electricity?"

"We're not in such a big hurry," Alex said calmly. "I just didn't expect for traffic to be so bad coming out of the city and now this. I thought we would be there by 8:30 and go get a nice dinner. There aren't many dining options up there after 10."

"If you're hungry let's just stop on the way then," Liv said grabbing another handful of Cheez-its from the box on her lap. Olivia suddenly reached to turn the radio volume down.

"Alex, drive on the side here a minute. I hear yelling," Olivia said firmly and pointing to the berm of the road.

Alex drove the car on the side of the right lane. Olivia flashing her badge as they passed the nearly stopped traffic in the two northbound lanes of the interstate. As soon as they crested the hill not more than 100 yards from where they had pulled to the side of the road they saw a bloodied woman sitting in the ditch next to an overturned SUV and a pickup truck on its side. Not seeing any police or EMS or hearing any sirens Alex sped up.

"Did anyone call 911?" Olivia yelled as they arrived at the scene.

"I did as soon as it happened," a man responded. "The pickup swerved to avoid a deer and rammed the Escape."

"If you witnessed the accident I need you to please stay here," Olivia yelled amongst the small crowd. Alex ran to the woman sitting bloodied in the ditch and Olivia went to the SUV. Two men were lying on the ground trying to talk to the two adults still seat belted into the front two seats of the SVU."

"I'm a first responder," one of the men on the ground said noticing Olivia's badge. "I don't have anything with me though. I'm on vacation from Florida."

The male driver was conscious, but pinned and covered in blood and broken glass.

"Emily, Emily," he cried out, but the passenger, his wife, didn't respond. Olivia ran to the passenger's side of the Ford Escape, but she could find no space, no angle to reach in to even feel for a pulse, but she tried anyway and quickly cut her forearm on a shard of glass. Time seemed to slow dramatically before she finally heard the cry of sirens approaching.

As the EMS crew and firefighters worked to free and treat the victims in the SUV, Olivia walked away to look for Alex. She looked closely at the cut on the inside of her right forearm just below her elbow for the first time.

"Damn it, probably stitches," she mumbled to herself. Olivia then saw Alex who was holding the hand of the first victim they saw, who was now loaded on a stretcher.

"Hey," Olivia said calmly, approaching Alex from behind and placing her left hand on her shoulder.

"Ma'am, were you in the accident too?" one of the EMTs asked noticing the blood running down Olivia's arm and small blots of blood on her shirt and the right side of her blue jeans. Alex turned towards Olivia and gasped.

"No, I cut it on glass trying to reach one of the victims in the SUV," Olivia replied.

"How far is the hospital?" Alex asked loudly.

"About 15 minutes north," an EMT replied.

The first state trooper to arrive at the accident scene walked over to Alex and Olivia.

"Detective," he said. "Thanks for your help here. They'll get you bandaged up at that second ambulance and can transport you to the hospital."

"We'll drive to the hospital Trooper Stephens," Olivia said. "This is Alex Cabot. She's been our ADA."

"I'm going to probably need a statement from you as well Ms. Cabot," the trooper said.

"Whatever you need," Alex said and quickly turned her head back towards Olivia. "Liv go to the ambulance please. They need to get that bleeding stopped."

#-#

"How was the woman you treated?" Olivia asked quietly as Alex drove towards the hospital.

"I think physically she'll be fine, she was lucid and most of the blood was from a gash on her head. Wasn't very deep, but of course those bleed so much," Alex sighed. "Emotionally she was a wreck. She said there was a deer and she swerved and didn't see the SUV."

"One of the witnesses said he saw a deer too," Olivia sighed and paused. "I think the woman in the Escape was dead. Probably 25 tops. The man, the husband just kept calling her name."

"Hasn't been a great start to our weekend away," Alex said quietly. "Another reminder of how quickly things can change."

Alex glanced at Olivia who had her left hand over the dressing on her right arm.

"We're almost to the hospital," Alex said. "How is it feeling?"

"It stings pretty good," Olivia said calmly. "I'm thinking there might be a little piece of glass still in there."

#-#

"Morning," Alex said softly as she stood in the bedroom doorway of the cabin. Olivia rubber her eyes and sat up in the bed.

"Good morning," she said hoarsely. "What time is it?"

"It is about 11. How are you feeling?" Alex asked walking over to the bed and taking a seat.

"It's just sore," she said resting her left hand on Alex's knee. "I'm sorry I slept so late."

Alex traced Olivia's hand with a fingertip.

"Liv, we didn't even get here 'til 1:30 and I've only been up about an hour. It is fine," Alex reassured her. "I'll go get you some coffee."

"Thanks," Liv said. "But I'll get up. Is it nice outside?"

"It's really nice," Alex smiled. "And it's quiet. I think I could learn to enjoy that again, now that I can be me and not Emily or someone else."

Olivia broke eye contact with Alex and looked down momentarily.

"What?" Alex questioned.

"The woman in the Escape, her name was Emily," Olivia sighed, but then quickly changed the subject as they moved out to the porch with their cups of coffee. "But, I agree with you on the air and the quiet up here. I don't think I would ever want to live too far from the city though. Maybe just up by West Point or even up in Connecticut."

"Would you consider Vermont?" Alex asked. "Land is cheaper and there are cute little farms. I want to get a couple horses some day and a dairy cow."

Olivia smiled. "I know you used to ride horses, but a dairy cow?"

"Just to hang out," Alex said. "It doesn't have to do anything. I just think they're cute. Ted had a couple of cows. I fed and watered them when he got really sick. They were beef cows. I think the dairy ones are cuter."

"I want to get a black and tan German Shepherd when I retire," Liv smiled. "Maybe a young one that just isn't quite cut out for K-9 work."

"I like German Shepherds, but I would want a cocker spaniel too," Alex said. "They're a little hyper, but they're so cute."

"They're sloppy drinkers too," Olivia laughed. "And they tend to pee when they get too excited."

"But they are cute," Alex smiled. "So what do you want to do today?"

"Well I think rock climbing is out," Olivia joked. "You want to just go into town and get some brunch and then check out some of the shops."

"Yes. Is it all right if we hit some of the antique stores in Saranac Lake too?" Alex asked. "My uncle left me that cabin we were supposed to go to… I don't want to totally redo it but I want to add some feminine touches to it."

"Sure," Olivia said running her left hand through her hair. "Hey Alex," Olivia said softly. "Why didn't you want to go there this weekend?"

Alex quickly responded. "Because I haven't been up there since he died. And I know when I go it is going to be pretty emotional for me. I want this weekend to be about us, to try and figure out what we are and what we might be."

"I want that too," Olivia said. "I owe you that."

Alex got up from her chair and kissed Olivia on the top of head. "I think we owe it to each other."


	31. Chapter 31

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback. **

"Stepping Time" Chapter 31 of ?

#-#

Alex smiled as she drove slowly up the dirt and pebble covered road to the cabin.

"I can't believe you are still pouting," she laughed. "Although you are kind of cute sitting over there all hot and bothered over losing a couple games of pool."

"No," Liv said quietly. "You played very well outside of that one crazy lucky shot. You deserved to win."

"What's bothering you then?" Alex asked gently while parking the car in front of the cabin.

"I just started having some muscle spasms on the way back in my shoulder and upper back," Olivia said massaging her right shoulder with her left hand. "Probably just need to take another Advil."

"And I think my hands might be able to help when we get inside," Alex smiled.

#-#

"That feels really, really good," Olivia sighed as Alex's hands and fingers massaged her naked back.

"Good, I'm just glad you didn't pop any stitches playing pool," Alex said as she reached for the bottle of lotion again on the nightstand next to the bed.

"I had a lot of fun today," Olivia said relaxing more and more into the bed and the touch of Alex's hands on her back. "I don't think we have ever had a full day together without a single interruption."

"Oh now we are doomed," Alex laughed moving a leg over the detective's lower back and straddling her so she could massage both shoulders. "I'll bet you cooking dinner tonight that one of our phones will ring in the next 20 minutes."

"I'll take that bet," Olivia smiled, her head turned to the side in a pillow. "My phone is on vibrate and you left yours in the car."

Alex playfully slapped at the back of Olivia's head. "Why didn't you grab my phone?" Alex questioned casually.

"I was going to, but then you mentioned a massage and I thought of your hands, and the phone thought-I don't know disappeared," Olivia grinned.

"Okay," Alex laughed. "There was a nice compliment in there, but still when I check the phones in 19 minutes if there are any messages there you still have to make dinner."

Olivia arched an eyebrow and lifted her head slightly off the pillow to look at Alex.

"I'm not sure if you'll be done with this massage in 19 minutes," she smiled. "You're still working on my shoulders, which is great but my lower back is pretty tight too and..."

"Really," Alex said seriously, trying to hide the smile and laughter she felt inside. "I'm pretty sure I have a heat wrap or some Icy Hot in my gym bag in the trunk of the car."

"Oh," was all Olivia managed to say, both surprised and disappointed with Alex's response.

"Nose in the pillow," Alex added. "You have a serious knot on the left side of your neck and I can't work it out with your head turned like it is."

Olivia complied and relaxed into the pillow. Alex took the moment to quickly, but quietly shed herself of her white V-neck t-shirt and bra.

"So what do you think you want to do tomorrow?" Alex said casually as she adjusted her position over Olivia sliding her thighs around Olivia's ass and then pushing into her slightly with her center causing a slight moan from Olivia.

"Did I hurt you Liv?" Alex asked pretending to be concerned.

"Uh-no," Olivia mumbled. Alex continued deliberate and tortuous teasing with her hands and fingers. Her core and thighs rubbing and squeezing sporadically into and around the detective's ass while she made casual comments about the day's shopping and ignored Olivia's moans, sighs, and movements.

After a few more minutes of rubbing and touching Alex trailed her fingernails first down the length of Olivia's back and then her sides, ensuring she brushed the tips of her fingers along the sides of the detective's breasts. She became quiet suddenly and continued her now purely delicate and sensual touches and teases. Olivia took a deep breath and sighed into the pillow, relieved that finally it seemed Alex was going to relieve her pulsing core and hardened nipples.

Alex abruptly leaned back and into Olivia's ass and stretched her arms above her head and sighed. She was nearly as aroused as she was confident she had made Olivia, but continued on nonchalantly.

"I'm going to grab a beer," Alex said quickly bounding off the bed. "Do you want or need anything?"

"Are you kidding me?" Olivia grumbled lowly into the pillow.

Alex stepped just a few feet into the living room and quickly shed her blue jeans and lace thong.

"Did you say you wanted something Liv?" she asked.

"Not to drink," Olivia said sharply.

Alex climbed back on the bed and once again straddled the detective, this time only making light contact. Olivia still had her face buried in the pillow.

"You know before when I thought you were pouting about me winning at pool I said you were cute," Alex said leaning forward and brushing her breasts along Olivia's upper back. She dropped her lips to her ear and whispered, "Turns out I was wrong…You can be incredibly sexy when you pout."

Alex started trailing kisses down from Olivia's ear and then across the back of her shoulder. "Why don't you turn over now Liv," she whispered. Olivia quickly rolled onto her back and Alex's lips met hers forcefully. She swiftly slid a hand down to Olivia's shorts and undid the buttons.

"God Alex," Olivia cried helping to free herself of her shorts and thong. "I thought I was going to have to get off in the shower by myself."

Alex smiled seductively and slid her drenched center up Olivia's left thigh.

"As much as I was enjoying tormenting you, I think you can feel that I would have needed to join you in that shower."

Alex pushed her thigh between Olivia's legs and the detective bucked at the feel, so eager to increase the contact. "No more teasing," Alex whispered, once again meeting the detective's lips and lowering her full body onto Olivia's. Olivia arched her hips again yearning for more and Alex abruptly thrust two fingers inside her.

"God Alex," Olivia cried wrapping her arms tightly around the blonde's back. Powerful thrusts with curling fingers combined with gentle circular strokes of her thumb over and around bundled nerves quickly brought Olivia multiple waves of release. Alex nearly climaxed herself riding the muscled thigh of her writhing lover.

As soon as Olivia partially recovered she flipped Alex onto her back and laid a quick path of kisses down the blonde's chest and then across her stomach. She slid two fingers of her left hand up Alex's thigh and then between soaked folds. She lowered her head and began gently stroking around and below Alex's swollen clit with the tip of her tongue.

Alex moaned loudly and wrapped a hand around the back of Olivia's head.

"More Liv please," she almost begged. Olivia thought of teasing, of payback momentarily, but the rewards Alex had delivered now had easily outweighed the torments of sexual frustration earlier. Olivia entered Alex with two fingers and sucked the swollen nub between her lips, stroking it more feverishly with the tip of her tongue.

"More inside babe," Alex cried. Olivia slid a third finger inside and Alex rode and pounded against her fingers and the palm of her hand. Olivia tightened her right arm around Alex's thigh as the first orgasm crashed through Alex and nearly her as well. Olivia continued thrusting inside Alex, stroking across her clit one more time and then sliding up and capturing a hardened nipple between her lips and teeth. She curled her fingers inside again and felt Alex walls tighten and shudder as another flood of juices poured down her fingers and onto her palm.

"You're amazing baby," Olivia whispered in Alex's ear before withdrawing her fingers, licking two and bringing the third to Alex's lips. "God you taste good," Olivia smiled. Alex took the finger into her mouth, sucking with her lips and powerfully stroking with her tongue, causing another wave of arousal to shoot to Olivia's center.

"Whether I won or lost the bet I'll cook dinner and clean up if I can have more of that tongue and those lips later," Olivia smiled.

Alex kissed the tip of Olivia's finger. "I think that can be arranged," she smirked. "But I'll help with dinner. I think that would be mutually beneficial." She sat up and placed a soft kiss on Olivia's lips.

"Can you shoot with your left hand too?" Alex asked.

"Not as well, but pretty good," Olivia said. "So no complaints," Olivia winked.

"Um-no, but I think you already knew that," Alex kidded. "Lefty, righty-your hands, just incredible."

#-#

"We're making great time," Olivia commented as she glanced at the sign on the interstate reading 43 miles to New York City. "Do you want to go get some dinner when we get back?"

"How about we pick up some Thai and you stay over at my place?" Alex asked somewhat cautiously despite the fun and intimacy that dominated their time away after the first night.

Olivia turned her head slightly to look at Alex.

"How about you drop me off and I can unpack, get some clothes for work tomorrow, take care of a few things and be at your place within an hour with Thai," Olivia said.

"That sounds wonderful," Alex said leaning over and kissing Olivia on the cheek.

#-#

Olivia quickly unpacked her dirty clothes and grabbed a fresh duffel bag to pack work clothes for the morning in. She noticed the message light blinking on her home phone.

_Hey you. Tried you on your cell. Anyway all is going well at Camp Phoenix the past few days. I'm going to be in D.C. the 18__th__ through the 21__st__ for some meetings, probably too short of a notice, but God I would love to see you-even if it's just for a night. I'll try calling you tomorrow. Fearlessness._

Olivia smiled. She was immediately thrilled by the surprising news and the idea of seeing Erin again in just 10 days. Olivia grabbed her laptop and quickly shot Erin an e-mail.

_Just got your message. Will request the time off as soon as I get to the office in the morning. Tempted to call the Captain now and ask. Worst case scenario would only be the Friday and Saturday. I can't wait to see you. I think I'll bring flowers to whoever decided you are needed in Washington. Fearlessness!_

_Liv_

Thoughts of Erin pervaded her mind until she pulled into a parking space near the Thai restaurant. She leaned back in her seat.

"I really do love them both," she mumbled to herself. And she decided as she sat in her car in the parking space, before she picked up the food and before she headed to Alex's that completely sure or not, she would make her choice by the time Alex returned from Africa.


	32. Chapter 32

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback. (And I've started on Chapter 33 and know where I'm going with it, so shouldn't have a long delay between chapters this time. ****)**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 32 of ?

#-#

Olivia and Alex settled on to the couch with their plates of Thai food and glasses of wine. Alex had her laptop open on the coffee table and Olivia noticed a page full of mostly unopened e-mails on the screen.

"I don't have to read them all tonight," Alex said noticing Olivia's gaze. "I had two e-mails waiting from Nardalee. She said to tell you hello and to thank you again for all you did for her."

Olivia grinned, "I had a small part in getting her a Visa that she didn't want."

"That's not true," Alex said placing her plate on the glass coffee table. "If she wants to leave or needs to leave she can and it affords her some protections in Congo."

"Alex," Olivia sighed. "Are you sure you are ready to go back there?" She took a sip of her wine. "I mean do you think it is a good idea?"

Alex placed a hand on Olivia's knee and leaned back into the couch.

"If I hadn't started seeing Dr. Southerly-if I hadn't started dealing with my past then absolutely not, but I am in a much better place now. I can't say I'm not nervous at all, but I'm going with some good people whom I've gotten to know a lot better."

"Like Angie," Olivia said pointedly as Alex's phone rang.

#-#

"Hey Angie," Alex answered her cell phone. Olivia grabbed the plates from the coffee table and headed to the kitchen as Alex continued her phone conversation. She told herself she had absolutely no right to be mad or jealous, but internally as she continued to hear the ease and the flow of the phone call she felt both. She rinsed the dishes and placed them in the dishwasher, put the leftovers in the refrigerator and refilled Alex's wine glass and then her own.

Alex was seated on the couch, her black framed glasses perched high on her nose and her fingers alternately busy on the laptop keyboard or shuffling through file folders. Olivia leaned down and gave Alex a chaste kiss on the cheek.

"I'm going to take a shower," Olivia whispered in the blonde's open ear.

Alex smiled and said she wouldn't be much longer on the phone and squeezed Olivia's hand and smiled. When Olivia emerged from the bathroom after her shower Alex was just finishing up her conversation with Angie.

"Okay, sounds good. I'll see you Wednesday night then, but catch you on the conference call tomorrow. Bye Angie," Alex said walking to the kitchen and plugging her phone into the charger.

"I think I need a new battery," Alex commented mainly to herself. "Didn't talk on it for three days practically and two phone calls tonight and it is about dead."

Alex glanced at the stitches on Olivia's right forearm.

"Come here," she said. She gently wrapped her hand around the detective's right wrist as she approached. "It looks a lot better than yesterday. Did you bring another bandage with you?"

"Yes, but I don't want to put one on 'til morning. It isn't even really sore anymore."

Olivia's eyes met Alex's.

"I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have made that comment regarding Angie," she said softly.

"You're right, you shouldn't have," Alex said squeezing Olivia's hand, "but I do appreciate the apology. She's become a good friend," Alex leaned forward and gave Olivia a soft kiss. "I'm going to take a shower now," she said.

#-#

Alex toweled herself off after stepping out of the shower. It was only 10 p.m., but even with the soothing and refreshing heat of the shower she felt tired. She slipped on her beige silk robe that extended to just a few inches above her knees. She opened the bathroom door and heard the sound of the TV from the living room.

Walking into the living room, she grinned seeing Olivia fast asleep on the couch, her arms wrapped around a throw pillow and feet buried under a cushion. Alex turned off the lights in the kitchen and then the TV. She leaned down towards Olivia and gently shook her shoulder with her hand.

"Liv, Liv," she called gently. "C'mon babe, let's go to bed."

Olivia opened her eyes slowly and looked at Alex.

"I'm sorry Alex," she mumbled. "I didn't mean to fall asleep."

Alex smiled and Liv arched a curious eyebrow.

"What?" Olivia questioned.

"You just look so cute with your 'lil pillow and feet all snuggled," Alex said grabbing Olivia's hand and pulling her up. "I'd rather you come cuddle with me though."

"Me too," Olivia smiled.

Alex led Olivia into the bedroom, placed her robe at the foot of the bed and climbed under the covers. Olivia took off her t-shirt, snuggled up beside Alex and placed a chaste kiss on her neck.

"Goodnight," Olivia whispered.

"Goodnight," Alex said turning her head and kissing Olivia's forehead.

#-#

Olivia popped out of bed and padded into the dark living room in search of her ringing iPhone. Olivia removing her arm from under her shoulder, combined with the ringing phone woke Alex from a deep sleep. Alex glanced at the digital clock reading 6:32 a.m. and thought of closing her eyes and resting for the 13 minutes until the alarm sounded.

"Benson," she heard Olivia answer the phone groggily.

"Sleeping in this morning?" Erin spoke into the phone.

"No," Olivia smiled as she walked to the kitchen to make coffee. "I was getting up in about 10 minutes."

"I wanted to catch you before you got to work. Instead of flying back on the 21st, I go back now the evening of the 22nd, but I'll have a breakfast meeting to go to on the 22nd, but I should be free and done by 11."

"That will work," Olivia said softly, not wanting to wake Alex, but smiling widely. Alex climbed out of bed and slung on her robe. She started out of the bedroom, but then stopped seeing Liv under a dimmed kitchen light, leaning her back against a counter and smiling.

"Are you going to be in until then?" Olivia asked Erin.

"Meaning within Camp Phoenix 'til I fly?" Erin asked.

"Yes," Olivia replied hopeful Erin would reply with the same word.

"Just one outside that I know of before," Erin sighed. "I'll be in D.C. in nine days. I promise."

"So will I," Olivia grinned again. Alex continued to listen out of site, just inside the doorway of the bedroom. "I'm going to see the captain as soon as I get in, Erin."

"Hey Liv, sometime while I'm there I'd like to go to Arlington to visit Sheila's grave and a few others. I don't know if it is incredibly awkward to ask you if you'd go with me, but…"

Olivia interrupted. "No, I'll go. Thank you for asking me to."

"Thank you," Erin said lacing her boots back up after having them off for the last hour while working at her desk. "I've got to run. It's Specialist Kershaw's birthday."

"So how are birthdays celebrated there?" Olivia laughed.

"Unfortunately alcohol and strippers aren't allowed," Erin laughed. "So virgin daiquiris, ice cream, karaoke, and lots of chocolate cake. And I gave her the day off."

"Well the day off sounds good. Can't believe with all the shit you all are asked to do, you can't throw back a couple of beers every now and then," Olivia replied sternly.

"Got to respect the local culture and customs," Erin laughed sarcastically. "Trust me I fly commercial from Germany to D.C., I'll be having a few then. Really got to go. Have a good day. Fearlessness!"

"Fearlessness," Olivia smiled. She placed her iPhone on the counter and poured herself a cup of coffee.

She walked back into the bedroom and saw Alex's robe folded at the foot of the bed and the blonde snuggled in the bed under the covers and eyes closed. Olivia grabbed her bag with her work clothes, turned off the alarm on the clock and padded into the bathroom. When Alex heard the water from the shower she arose from the bed again, grabbed a t-shirt and shorts from her dresser and walked to the kitchen. She grabbed a coffee mug from a cabinet, poured a cup of coffee and then retrieved the morning paper from outside her front door.

She took a seat on the couch, turned on the TV and then dabbed at the tears with a Kleenex that began pooling in her eyes.

"She might have loved you like that before," Alex thought, "but its Erin she loves now."

Hearing the bathroom door open Alex quickly got up from the couch and busied herself in the kitchen trying to regain her composure.

"Good morning," Olivia said brightly walking into the kitchen. "God I slept well. Your bed is so comfortable."

A flash of anger over feelings she knew she couldn't change spread through Alex and she thought of verbalizing it, but instead collected herself and replied, "I slept really well too. I'm glad you did also." Alex turned to face Olivia, standing tall and composed. "I'll help you put on a new bandage before you go to work."

"Thanks," Olivia smiled. "Hey, I have time I can run down the street and bring back some breakfast sandwiches or bagels."

"That's all right," Alex smiled slightly. "I have a nine o'clock breakfast meeting uptown."

#-#

Olivia stood at the doorway with her overnight bag at her feet.

"You sure you don't want to take a coffee with you?" Alex asked walking towards Olivia.

"No, going to stop and get some breakfast sandwiches for the guys on the way in. Thanks though," Olivia said and then suddenly looking down at her feet. After what seemed like an eternity to Alex, Olivia finally looked up and Alex locked her eyes on the deep brown ones that had penetrated her from nearly the moment they first met.

"I really enjoyed this weekend with you Alex," Olivia said nervously twisting her right foot into the rug at the doorway.

"Me too," Alex said. "It was one I know I will always remember." She leaned in and met Liv's lips with her own. She kissed her gently and then cupped her face with her hands. She looked into her eyes for a moment and then placed a chaste kiss on her forehead.

Alex stepped back slightly, but kept her hands cupped around Olivia's face.

"I'll always love you Benson," she smiled. "Now get to work."

Olivia was at a loss for words. She covered Alex's right hand with her left and turned her head to kiss Alex's left hand.

"Would you like to go out for dinner tomorrow night?" Olivia managed to ask.

"I have a lot to do before I leave Thursday, but I'll call you, okay," Alex said reaching for the door before the tears she was fighting to hold back began to appear.

"Okay," Olivia said taking a step into the hall, and wondering if Alex's choice of words, gestures, looks and seeming rush to get her out the door meant something more than her brain was processing. Alex started to close the door and Olivia stopped it with her hand.

"Alex-I love you too," she said softly.

"I know you do," Alex smiled. "Don't you have a meeting with the captain?"

Olivia arched a curious eyebrow.

"About how you got the stitches in your arm," Alex responded quickly but calmly.

"He better not put me on desk duty for a few stitches," she grinned. "Call me about dinner though. I'd really like to see you again before you leave," she added as she started towards the elevator.

#-#

Alex let the hot water from the showerhead cascade down her back and tried to focus on her day's work activities, but soon slow flowing tears became shaking sobs and she pounded her fists into the tiles of one of the shower walls.

"She loves you, but she's in love with Erin and you can't change that Alexandra Cabot," Alex heard echoing through her brain. "It's only going to hurt worse if you keep on sleeping with her and hope to step back in time."

Alex was grateful when she finally stepped out of the shower that she didn't really have a 9 a.m. breakfast. Her first absolute must do was a 10 o'clock conference call and Angie would be on that. Maybe this three week trip to Africa with the petite, feisty, and sexy attorney was exactly what she needed to accept a decision that she was now convinced Olivia had already made or would figure out soon enough she thought.


	33. Chapter 33

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 33 of ?

#-#

Olivia walked out of the elevator on Alex's floor, exhausted by the long day and early evening at the precinct, but eager to see Alex and deliver a few gifts. She rapped on Alex's door with the knuckles of her free hand.

Hearing the knock from the bathroom Alex yelled out.

"Hey Angie can you get that? The money is on the counter?"

"I'll pay for the food, your lodging rates are much cheaper than the Hilton, and much nicer too," Angie called grabbing her purse and walking to the door. She opened the door surprised to see the striking brunette detective rather than an adolescent boy holding a brown paper bag full of cardboard food containers.

"Angie-Hi," Olivia managed.

"Come in," Angie smiled. "It's nice to see you again," she added as Olivia walked by her.

"Nice to see you too," Olivia said politely.

"Hey Liv," Alex smiled walking into the living room. "It's nice to see you. I take it you came from work," she added noticing Liv's holstered gun and badge still on her belt.

"Well the captain and the guys and I got a little something for you to take to Nardalee if you would," Olivia said. "It's just a little certificate of recognition for what she did and an honorary SVU badge."

"Bring it over here," Alex said excitedly taking a seat on the couch. "I want to see it. I know it will mean a lot to her."

Olivia walked over to the couch and took a seat next to Alex.

"Olivia would you like a beer or wine while I'm up?" Angie asked from the kitchen.

"A beer would be great," Olivia said looking towards Angie. Angie walked to the couch and handed Olivia the beer. "I'm going to go change," she said. "I don't know why I flew cross country in a skirt and heels."

Olivia took a long drink of the ice cold beer and took a relieved sigh in seeing Angie walk down the hall of Alex's apartment to the guest bedroom.

"I'm sorry I couldn't make lunch today," Alex said.

"It wouldn't have lasted 20 minutes anyway," Olivia smiled. "We were working all morning on the new case from yesterday-the one which made me have to cancel drinks with you last night and then just a few minutes after sitting down for lunch with Elliot today we got a hot lead on an active case."

"Such is the One-Six," Alex smiled. "We ordered Chinese and I know you haven't eaten so please stay."

"Are you sure?" Olivia asked.

"Yes," Alex said squeezing Olivia's hand. "Our flight is at 10:30 tomorrow morning so it just made more sense for Angie to stay here tonight. Now let me see what you got Nardalee."

Alex reached into the bag and pulled out the framed certificate and read the declaration.

"We didn't wrap anything because of customs," Olivia said as Alex pulled out the badge replica. "There's a card in there from us all too, with a picture of the gang."

Alex pulled the envelope with the card from the bag and was relieved to see it wasn't sealed. She pulled the picture from inside and smiled seeing Olivia, Munch, Fin, Warner, Elliot, George, and the Captain standing in the bullpen and all with smiles.

She got up from the couch and started walking to her study. "I'm going to go scan it. I want a copy to take with me," she said happily, making Olivia smile and warming her heart at how much the team still obviously meant to Alex.

"I think it is the first time all of us have smiled at the same time down there," Olivia said following Alex. "Usually that only happens at Humphrey's or some other bar. I'm glad you think she'll like everything. We just thought of it Monday."

Alex started the scan of the photo and then turned and gave Olivia a hug.

"You all did great," Alex smiled, pulling back from the hug to look directly at Olivia, but still with her arms wrapped around her. "She is going to cry happy tears. It will mean so much to her."

Olivia pulled her right arm from Alex's waist and reached into her coat pocket.

"I got something for you too," she said handing Alex a small wrapped box.

Alex opened the box and pulled out the natural cotton cord necklace with silver pendent.

"The Chinese character is Ying for courage," Olivia said. "And the symbol of the person with their arms wide open depicts courage as well," Olivia paused and sighed trying to keep a steady tone. "I think you are incredibly brave and courageous, and…"

Alex interrupted Liv's words with her lips, kissing her deeply and passionately as tears welled up in her eyes. Pulling back slightly for air and to dab the tears from her eyes with her fingers, she propped her elbows on Olivia's shoulders.

"Thank you so much," Alex sighed contently. "Will you put it on for me?"

"Sure," Olivia smiled. "The little card in the box explains better all the person symbolizes. I didn't explain it that well."

Alex shook her head and began giggling.

"What?" Olivia questioned.

"Liv, I will definitely read the complete narrative description on the card," she giggled again and dabbed at another tear on her cheek. "But detective, it was your words that brought me to tears and makes this so special." She said fingering the pendent. "Thank you again," she kissed Olivia tenderly on her forehead, but wishing once again, even if she would still lose this woman she loved to Erin, to lead her to the bedroom and make love to her.

#-#

"Alex, Olivia the food is here," Angie called from the living room.

"Okay, we're coming," Alex shouted. "Thanks."

The three women enjoyed easy conversation over dinner. Much to her surprise, Olivia began enjoying talking with the brunette attorney. She was smart, witty and passionate, unlike when they had been at the bar a few week ago with Tom, where she found her loud, obnoxious and arrogant.

Olivia looked at the clock and noticed it was nearly 11. She was tired and had to be back at the precinct early the next morning. Although Angie and Alex's 10:30 flight wasn't extraordinarily early, with it being an international flight and the very long travel schedule ahead of them she decided to head home.

She downed the rest of her beer and dropped the bottle in the recycling container.

"You two take good care of each other down there," Olivia stated. "And Alex please e-mail me as soon as you can so I know you are there safely. Hell, e-mail me before that too, from Germany if you can so I'll know if you have any delays from there."

"I'll do you better and call you from Germany while we're on layover and hopefully I should be able to call you from our headquarters building in Congo now too," Alex smiled walking with Olivia to the door.

"You be safe too Olivia," Angie said sincerely walking down the hallway to give Alex and Olivia some privacy.

"It really is great work you are doing, and so what I am going to say I really mean as a compliment. Hearing Angie talk about some of the work she has done I was thinking during dinner what a dynamic team you two would be also as our ADA's. Of course you would be first chair," Olivia smiled.

Alex ran a hand through Olivia's hair and placed a soft kiss on the detective's lips.

"Thank you," Alex smiled.

"Well, I'm not meaning that you should leave what you are doing because it is really…"

Alex interrupted. "I know Liv. That's why I thanked you. And I am so glad you came over tonight- and this necklace," she said fingering the pendent, "I still can't say exactly right what it and what you said to me earlier means to me."

"I'm glad it means a lot to you," Olivia said with a slight blush. She wrapped her arms tightly around the blonde. "I'll always love you Alex and I'm proud of you," she whispered in her ear. "I'll see you in three weeks."

"I love you too Liv," Alex said softly, stepping back slightly and kissing her on the forehead. "I'll see you soon."

#-#

Thursday and Friday at the One-Six passed quickly and effectively for Olivia and Elliot, arresting and charging one suspect after two positive line-up IDs and DNA results from the lab. Alex had called her from Germany and then e-mailed her from the Congo with pictures of she and Nardalee, their renovated headquarters building and their living spaces which this time were trailers that included a shared kitchen/dining area, shared bathroom and small bedrooms on each end. In a separate e-mail Alex attached pictures of Nardalee showing her gifts from the SVU to friends and colleagues, a smile beaming across her face in each one.

Captain Cragen printed out the pictures of Nardalee with the gifts and several of the pictures of Alex and Nardalee together. He posted them on the bulletin board and then called Munch, Fin, Elliot and Olivia over.

"We have some really rough times here," the captain started, "and we're usually looking at photos that would make most puke and haunt them forever. I'm really proud of you all and the work you do. There are a lot of survivors who you have helped find hope and courage to continue, and even some like Nardalee to find strength to help others. I probably don't tell you all this enough, but I hope when you look at these pictures, especially on the days when things are dark, you remember you do make a positive impact in the lives of many."

They all stood quietly for a moment after the captain finished speaking. Even Munch was without a smart-ass comment. Finally Elliot said firmly, "Thank you captain," and patted him on the shoulder. The other detectives followed with their sincere thanks, all touched by their leader's words and the pride of being members of this elite team.

#-#

Olivia was on-call all weekend, switching with Munch once again so she would be covered by him the following weekend when she was in D.C. She was actually somewhat hoping the weekend would bring a call or two. It would make the time go faster until she flew to Washington D.C. Wednesday afternoon and it would distract her some from worrying about Erin and Alex. But it was a quiet weekend and she enjoyed it, running both mornings, and spending most of Sunday with Casey, Jeff and Petraeus.

Cragen had signed off on her vacation request for the afternoon of Wednesday and full-days on Thursday and Friday. Usually vacation requests were submitted at least a month in advance, but the captain knew Olivia had had no idea that Erin would be coming back to the States for a few days. And he was pleased that she was finally finding happiness outside of work, having a personal life, even though he was a bit confused as to whether she was with Erin or Alex, or both.

#-#

Olivia walked into the precinct Wednesday morning with her luggage in tow and a gleam in her eyes. She plopped into her chair and smiled at the thought of seeing Erin in less than 12 hours.

"So is Erin on schedule?" Elliot asked lifting his head and looking at his partner.

"Yes," Olivia smiled. "She called while I was in the taxi. Just got off the military plane in Germany about an hour ago and her commercial flight leaves in about 90 minutes," she said looking at her watch. "She already changed into 'civvies' so she can have a few drinks on the plane."

"Smart woman," Elliot smiled. "She deserves a few."

#-#

**-A few plot twists coming in Chapters 34 and 35. Thank you for continuing to read and all the comments! Much appreciated!**


	34. Chapter 34

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 34 of ?

#-#

Olivia relaxed into the chair at the bar closest to the International Arrivals Building in the Washington Dulles airport and ordered a tall draft beer. She had already claimed her baggage and checked on Erin's flight from Munich which was scheduled to arrive in an hour at 6:06. She sent Erin a text message to let her know she was in and would be waiting for her to pass through Customs.

She felt a bit giddy and nervous, wondering how Erin would be. She wondered if the three months in Afghanistan had changed her, how much it might be affecting her and whether she would be as excited to see her as she was feeling as the arrival of Lufthansa flight 221 neared.

Halfway through her second beer and three quick trips just outside the bar to check for updates on the electronic Arrivals screens her iPhone rang.

"Hey you," she answered seeing Erin's cell number and picture displayed on her phone's screen.

"Hey gorgeous," Erin replied causing Olivia to smile widely. "We just got to the gate and I'm in row 11. Got your text. Don't hurry out of your bar stool, I'll call you or text you when I see how long the Customs line is."

"How are you feeling?" Olivia asked.

"I slept some, not first class, but was in business class, so not too uncomfortable. My body clock is a 'lil off, but…"

Olivia interrupted. "Well we can relax tonight and you can get some sleep."

Erin laughed and then added quietly, "Can we add shower, sex and room service to the night's activities?"

"In or out of that order and as much as you want," Olivia laughed.

"Liking that," Erin exclaimed. "Maybe I should have kept my uniform on, probably could get through Customs quicker," she said stepping off the plane. Erin called Olivia 15 minutes later and estimated it would take another 25 minutes to get through Customs. Olivia finished her third beer and headed to the exit of the IAB.

When they met a few minutes later Erin dropped her bags to the floor and they wrapped their arms around each other in a tight embrace. Erin placed a soft kiss just below Olivia's left earlobe and whispered, "Fearlessness."

Olivia repeated the same and felt a tear stream down her cheek, the relief of holding Erin safely in her arms again, magnifying and releasing the worry she had felt for Erin in Kabul the past three months. Erin kissed her softly on the lips, a public display of affection that exhibited by a man and a woman would hardly garner a look, but by two striking women turned a few heads and elicited a couple of stares.

Olivia moved to deepen the kiss, but Erin pulled back, suddenly cognizant of their surroundings and the nearly unmistakable Army ACU camouflage cargo bag at her feet.

"We better wait until we're at least in the taxi," she smiled.

#-#

"Hotel Monaco please," Erin said as they climbed into the backset of the taxi.

"So you ladies in town for business or pleasure?" the silver-haired taxi driver inquired.

"A whole lot of both," Erin responded.

"So is your husband military?" the driver asked looking back at Erin. "I noticed your bag." Olivia seethed internally wanting to berate the driver for what she interpreted as a sexist question. "I fought in Korea," he said. "Did two tours and thought that was bad, now we're sending our men and women over to Iraq and Afghanistan four, five times, in some cases even more."

"Well thank you for your service in Korea," Erin smiled genuinely. "Actually, I just flew in from Afghanistan; it's my second tour over there and had one in Iraq."

"Ma'am, I am so sorry I assumed it was your husband who was in the service, -I guess since you aren't in uniform. I'm just so sorry," he fumbled.

"No problem," Erin smiled. "Just so happy to be back on U.S. soil."

"And you ma'am," he asked making a quick glance at Olivia, "are you in the military as well?"

"No," Olivia smiled. "I'm a NYPD detective."

"Oh Lord," he chuckled looking back at Olivia again and making both Erin and Olivia nervous that he was bound to rear end a car at some point on the way to the hotel. "I'm so glad I didn't say something as stupid to you," he continued, drawing a laugh from both women. "My wife says I'm still 10 years behind on everything, she's going to slap me upside the head when I tell her what I said to you…"

"It's Erin," the brunette soldier responded.

By the time they arrived at Hotel Monaco 40 minutes later, Anthony Corlison was captivated by the two women, having asked numerous questions of both about the work they did and enthralled by their answers. He tried to refuse the generous tip Erin offered, accepting only when Erin reminded him that it would go on her expense report. He carried their bags all the way into the lobby, irritating the bellhops, but amusing Olivia and Erin. He volunteered, actually pushed to be their driver back to the airport on Sunday and Erin took his card and assured him they would call.

"Wonder what he would think of us if he knew we were together," Olivia commented as they waited in the short line to check-in.

Erin laughed. "We could tell him on Sunday, but I'm thinking it would cause either a heart attack or a hard=on and I don't want to see either happen."

#-#

As soon as the door snapped close behind them and they dropped their luggage next to the King size bed their lips met hungrily and their bodies pressed together with hands frantically re-exploring.

"God you feel good," Erin moaned, sliding her lips to Olivia's neck and running her fingers through her hair.

"You do too," Olivia sighed guiding Erin closer to the bed. Erin began lowering her body to the bed, but then stopped and stood up straight again.

"You make me so hot, and I am so fucking wet already," Erin said cupping Olivia's face with her hands and kissing her on the nose, "But probably for your sake more than my own," she smiled, "I need to take a shower first. Afghanistan sand, a C-130 cargo plane, and Lufthansa with about 300 others and I'm sure I have smelled much better."

Olivia grinned. "I think you smell and feel just fine, but I understand. I can wait a little, just a little longer," Olivia winked.

"I'll make it worth the wait," Erin said looping two fingers of each hand in the belt loops of Olivia's black jeans.

"I love you Erin," Olivia blurted as their brown eyes locked.

"I love you too baby," Erin smiled, pulling Olivia tight again and resting her chin on her shoulder. "I love you too," she repeated.

They decided to order room service and Olivia called in their order as Erin pulled a t-shirt and shorts from her bag to change into after her shower. "Sorry babe," she smirked. "Couldn't find any sexy lingerie in Kabul."

"Wouldn't be staying on long anyway," Olivia joked grabbing two beers from the mini-bar and handing one to Erin. While Erin was in the shower she changed into the Army t-shirt she had 'stolen' from Erin months ago and a pair of black NYPD shorts. She propped two of the pillows on the bed up against the headboard and turned on the TV. Flipping the channels she was slightly startled a few moments later by the shrilling ring of the hotel room phone.

"Hello," she answered after two rings, expecting it to be a call about their room service order.

"Colonel Mathison," the male voice responded.

"Um-no," Olivia responded awkwardly. "She'll be back in a few minutes," Olivia said. "Can I take a message?"

"This is TJ McCoy, Senator Rushing's press secretary. I need the colonel to call me as soon as possible," he stated. "Do you have a pen and paper?"

"Yes," Olivia said grabbing the Hotel Monaco branded pen and stationary from the end table next to the bed.

"It's my cell and the number is 202=258-1268," he stated.

"I'll give her the message," Olivia said.

"Thank you det-," he started and then quickly hung up.

#-#

Erin padded out of the bathroom and leapt onto the bed next to Olivia. She placed a chaste kiss on Olivia's cheek.

"I feel so much better now," she smiled and then frowned slightly seeing the serious expression on Olivia's face. "What's up?" she asked.

Olivia handed Erin the message. "Well I'm kind of surprised Senator Rushing's press secretary is calling me now, but my meetings tomorrow include briefings with members of the Senate Armed Services Committee and Rushing is the committee chair."

"You didn't tell me you were meeting with that high-ranking of officials," Olivia said. "Wow, that's impressive," she said excitedly, but then paused, turning serious again. "But Erin when McCoy was hanging up, I swear after he said thank you he started to say detective, like he knows who I am and that it was me on the phone. I didn't identify myself at all. I only answered because I thought it was a call about our room service."

Erin got up from the bed to get her cell phone. "I couldn't disclose via e-mail my itinerary here, but here you go," she said tossing Olivia a folder with her schedule. "I made an extra copy so you would know where I'll be at and when I should be done each day."

She began dialing the number of TJ McCoy on her phone. "We'll just see what the press secretary and senator want."

"TJ McCoy," the secretary answered after half a ring.

"Hello, this is Lieutenant Colonel Mathison returning your call."

"Hello colonel," he replied. "There's been a change to your itinerary. Senator Rushing wants to meet with you in the morning at 8 in her office. She would like to speak with you prior to your meetings with the full committee."

"Ok," Erin replied. "I'll be outside her office in the Hart Senate Building at 7:45."

"Actually, TJ responded, "I'll meet you in the lobby of your hotel by the Starbucks at 7:15 and we'll go over together."

"Ok," Erin said arching a puzzled eyebrow. "Is there anything I should have prepared for the meeting with the senator?"

"No," he said. "I will see you at 7:15 colonel."

Just as Erin put down her phone their room service order was delivered.

"So why do you think Senator Rushing wants to meet with you separately?" Olivia asked as they sat at the small table in the room eating.

"I don't know," Erin said and then began smiling. "I am glad that the honorable senator from Michigan is a liberal and one of the strongest, most vocal proponents for the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell. I don't know if being called back here for these meetings is just a dog and pony show on possibly opening more jobs, combat jobs to women in the military or if it is a serious exploration."

Olivia ran a hand through her hair and sighed, "I just know, I know I wasn't hearing things. I know he started to say detective."

"Liv, babe, let's not worry about it ok," Erin smiled. "Senator Rushing is the one who called for these meetings that brought me back. If it was that right-wing nut from Wyoming leading the committee, I might be nervous."

"Ok, I guess he could have been saying something else," Olivia said, now trying to convince herself that Erin was right.

Erin took the last bite of her steak and then looked at Olivia. "If someone who might want to do my career harm does know or thinks they know about us-are you concerned about possibly being outed?"

"No," Olivia said firmly. "Everybody I care about, who is important to me already knows about us and I won't lose my career over it. I don't want anyone fucking with your career over it."

"I love you Liv," Erin said collecting their empty plates, putting them on the tray and then setting the tray outside of their door in the hotel hallway. She padded back to the table and grabbed Olivia's hand and pulled her up and into a deep and passionate kiss.

Olivia quickly reached for the hem of Erin's shirt and pulled it over her shoulders and raised arms. They quickly discarded their remaining clothing and fell into bed, just the feel of Olivia's skin on hers again sending Erin close to climax.

Olivia at Erin's insistence wasted little time bringing her to a first writhing orgasm, plunging three fingers inside her while her mouth alternated between firm breasts and hardened nipples. Exhausted but sated by their longed for intimate reunion which lasted for several hours they fell asleep limbs entwined, neither worried then at what the morning might bring.


	35. Chapter 35

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 35 of ?

#-#

Olivia slapped her left hand in the direction of the shrill ring of the hotel phone in their darkened room. She glanced at the clock and with it being 6 a.m. she assumed it had to be Erin's wake up call, but after the call last night, instead of answering she shook Erin awake and brought the phone receiver to her ear.

"Hello," Erin moaned groggily.

The automated wake-up call message began playing and Erin leaned over Olivia to hang up the phone. She rested her head on Olivia's bare chest.

"Oh I don't want to get up," she mumbled. "This bed and you feel so good."

"Well since I have seen pictures of your razor thin mattress at Camp Phoenix, I won't be offended that you mentioned the feel of the bed before my body," Olivia smirked stroking Erin's hair with the fingers of her right hand.

"Thank you for your tolerance," Erin smiled, kissing Olivia softly just above her breast. She pushed her body up and over the detective's and leaned her head down placing a chaste kiss on Olivia's forehead and then pushed out from under the covers and out of the bed.

Olivia followed and grabbed the small carafe on the coffeemaker and padded to the bathroom to get water to make them some coffee. Erin turned on two of the lamps and the TV and grabbed a bra, panties and ACU t-shirt from her bag.

"I am so glad I don't have to wear Class A's," she said looking at Olivia while she was making the coffee. She stared for a moment at Olivia's arm as she poured the water in the machine. "When did you get that scar on your arm and how?" she asked. "I can't believe I didn't notice it last night."

"Oh," Olivia said casually. "Stopped at an accident scene a couple of weeks ago and when I reached in one of the vehicles to try and reach one of the victims I cut it on a piece of broken glass. Stitches dissolved totally late last week and I think most of the scar will fade."

"Sounds like it was a pretty bad accident," Erin said walking past Olivia to the bathroom.

"Yes, the woman I was trying to reach died, actually I think she was already dead," Olivia said.

"You'll have to tell me more about it later," Erin said from the bathroom. "I'm glad you're okay though."

"Yep, I'm fine," Olivia said relieved that she could save the details for later as not only did they not have time to discuss Alex right now, Erin needed to be focused on her meeting with Senator Rushing.

#-#

Olivia sat on the edge of the bed watching the morning news as Erin readied herself in the bathroom.

"Hey babe," Erin said walking towards the bed in her ACU pants, boots, and t-shirt and dog tags with the Fearlessness pendent hanging from the silver beaded chain around her neck. "Would you mind going to the lobby and getting me an Extra Coffee Caramel Frappuccino and a blueberry muffin or Danish from Starbucks."

"Sure," Olivia said repeating the name of the drink in her head. "I'll be right back."

Olivia was relieved to find a short line at the Starbuck's kiosk, lined with six tables that wrapped around the edge of one corner of the hotel restaurant which dominated the lobby. Olivia paid for her order and moved to the condiments bar to get cream for her coffee and napkins for the muffins.

A tall slender middle aged man in a pricey gray suit approached her as she stirred her coffee.

"Good morning Detective Benson," he said pleasantly. "I'm TJ McCoy."

"Hello," Olivia said firmly trying to disguise her shock and anxiety in the press secretary knowing her both by name and face.

"Why don't you come join me for a minute," he suggested while gesturing with his arm to a table just steps away where his attaché and coffee sat.

"I only have a minute," Olivia said firmly.

"And I only need a minute or two of your time, but I believe they will be minutes well spent," he said stepping to the table and sitting down. "Sit please," he said.

"Ok," Olivia said sitting on the edge of the chair across from McCoy and leaning forward slightly.

"I'm glad you came down for coffee this morning. I was going to speak to you last night on the phone, but wanted to be sure I could catch you alone," he said.

"What is it you think you need to tell me?" Olivia replied sternly.

He smirked at her tone and directness.

"Colonel Mathison is in a very high profile and very sensitive position," he said looking directly at Olivia. "Senator Rushing is an ally and advocate for women in the military and increasing their roles and opportunities. She is also a staunch advocate for the repeal of DADT; those two things combined make her a staunch advocate of your girlfriend."

"And your point," Olivia said trying to hide the nervous tension and anxiety pervading her body.

"As I said, we are allies and want the best for the colonel professionally and personally. Professionally we have no concerns, but personally you are a concern," he said calmly.

Olivia raised an eyebrow and hesitated trying to think of a response which would not have her verbally confirming her relationship with Erin.

"I believe you just said the senator is one of the strongest proponents for women in the military and the repeal of DADT," she stated.

"And of the colonel," he replied still not breaking eye contact with the detective. "Ideally we want you and the colonel together. The colonel single after losing her intended life partner in Afghanistan is acceptable as well. What isn't acceptable is the colonel being with a two-timing girlfriend."

Olivia tried her best not to let her body language to display the rush of shock, anger and fear that pulsated through her body, but her jaw dropped and the fingers of her right hand tapped nervously on the table.

"Detective," he continued not flinching at all. "As I said, you and Erin as a happy monogamous couple are ideal, but the colonel, the ADA and the detective is not an option. So if you care about Erin professionally and personally-you'll stop fucking the blonde."

Olivia scooted her chair back and grabbed the bag with the muffins and the two drinks.

"Thank you Mr. McCoy," she said firmly, once again regaining her composure. "I assure you that I have the best interests of the colonel at heart both personally and professionally."

**-Sorry this chapter is so brief as far as word count, but it feels like a good place to break it since I won't have time to write what happens next until tomorrow. Thanks for reading as always!**


	36. Chapter 36

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 36 of ?

#-#

Olivia slid the key card in the hotel room door, turned the handle while juggling the drinks and pastries and pushed the door open with her hip. Erin was frantically putting her hair up in the bathroom.

"McCoy just called," she yelled. "He's already downstairs."

"I know," Olivia said. "He approached me at the Starbucks and I just finished talking with him." She set Erin's Frappuccino on the counter in the bathroom.

"Fuck," Erin shouted. "I can't believe Senator Rushing would fly me all the way back here just to end my career. I have four jammed pack days of meetings on that fucking itinerary," she fumed. "That doesn't make sense."

She grabbed her ACU jacket hanging on the hook of the bathroom door. "Maybe somebody saw us at the airport when we kissed," she said out loud, but mostly to herself as her mind worked frantically for what she considered a rational explanation of this trip to D.C. and the private meeting with the senator.

"Erin," Olivia said, her voice slightly trembling as she ran a nervous hand through her hair. "I didn't say anything to confirm our relationship, but they know about us. They know about Sheila, -and they know about me and Alex," she said looking down at the tiled bathroom floored.

"Well now might be a great fucking time for you to give me a quick briefing on you and Alex," she snapped angrily. "What were you fuckin' her in Times Square?"

"No," Olivia said firmly, her eyes still studying the tiles on the floor. "Yes, Alex and I have spent some time together. Yes we have slept together," she said her voice cracking. "And I love her, but I'm not in love with her anymore," she said finally looking up at Erin. "I'm in love with you and I want us and just us."

"Hell Liv I may be unemployed in an hour or two," she said brushing past the detective and grabbing her black beret and work bag. She reached for the door handle and then paused and turned her head towards Olivia. "Do you really want a future with me?" she sighed. "Don't lie to me on this or partial truth me, or I'll never forgive you."

"I do and I know it without a doubt," Olivia said sincerely.

"I want that too," Erin said quietly placing a chaste kiss on Olivia's forehead. "I'll call as soon as I can," she said turning the door handle and walking out the door.

#-#

"Colonel Mathison, it's a pleasure to meet you," TJ McCoy said extending a hand to shake Erin's.

"I hope I will feel the same," Erin said briefly shaking the press secretary's hand.

He smiled and said, "I'm not sure what Detective Benson has told you of our discussion earlier, but I assured her we have only your best career and personal interests in mind."

"I believe I have been able and am still fully capable of making the best decisions for myself both professionally and personally," she said sternly.

"Why don't we head over to the senator's office now," he said stepping towards the lobby. "I'm confident once you meet with Senator Rushing you will see that I am telling you the truth." As they passed through the revolving door and stepped to the sidewalk he turned his head slightly and looked towards Erin.

"Congratulations on your upcoming promotion," he said trying to ease the tension between them. "You are definitely deserving of being promoted ahead of the majority of your peers."

"Exactly how long have you been so interested in my career and my personal life?" Erin responded unyielding, as they walked towards the Hart Senate Building.

"About five months now," he responded. "I understand that you might be feeling a bit ambushed here…"

"Really Mr. McCoy," Erin interrupted. "I think it would be more accurate to say a pawn in a political chess game waiting to be fucked."

"No," he smirked, "more like a smart and agile knight protected by a loyal and lethal queen."

Erin couldn't help but to release a brief chuckle with the stress and anger that was tingling through her body.

"Let's save further conversation until we reach Senator Rushing's office," he said opening a door to the Hart Senate Building.

#-#

McCoy ushered Erin to a plush chair in the secretary's office and reception area just outside the senator's private office.

"The senator will be with you in just a few moments," he said handing Erin a brown folder marked "Classified." "You can review this file if you'd like while you wait," he added as he opened the door to the senator's office.

"Colonel Mathison would you like some fresh coffee or bottled water?" the middle-aged, short-haired blonde secretary asked approaching Erin.

"A bottled water would be great. Thank you," Erin said opening the folder from McCoy. She accepted the water from the secretary and began reading the detailed professional and personal report of her adult life. The depth and accuracy of the file caused her to smirk, wondering why if such intelligence could be assembled on her why they couldn't get better intelligence from Washington on the Taliban in Afghanistan.

In assessing the report internally Erin realized it was actually a glowing evaluation of her professionally and personally, if she were straight, could only be viewed as positive as well. Erin reflected on McCoy's description of the senator as a loyal and lethal queen, and she as a smart and agile knight.

"You're fucked if you don't play the senator's game," Erin thought to herself.

#-#

Erin stood up as she heard the door to the senator's office begin to open. Out stepped Senator Rushing. Erin was quite familiar with the senator and her career, but now standing before her, Erin was surprised how petite the 61 year-old senator was. She guessed that without the black Prada peep-toe pumps the senator stood maybe 5'1". She was impeccably dressed in what Erin surmised was a Prada red blazer and skirt and white blouse. Erin noticed the American flag and yellow ribbon pins on her lapel and the modest diamond stud earrings that punctuated her short (colored) black hair, deep green eyes, slender face and high cheek bones.

"Good morning Senator," Erin said calmly extending her right hand to greet the senator.

"Good morning and thank you for coming Colonel Mathison," the senator said shaking Erin's hand firmly before releasing and gesturing towards her office. The senator's office was neat and organized, but comfortable and almost homey with her desk and three bookcases accentuated by carefully placed framed photos.

The senator asked Erin to sit pointing towards University of Michigan blue leather stationary chairs with a small round maple table separating them. The senator walked to her desk and retrieved her coffee mug. She placed it on the round table and took a seat in the other blue chair, pleasantly surprising Erin with her seating choice.

The senator smiled slightly at Erin.

"First I would like you to extend an apology on my behalf to Detective Benson for TJ's actions this morning. He was completely out of line and I assure you any future contact with my press secretary will be much more pleasant," the senator said as a matter- of-fact.

"Yes Senator," Erin nodded.

"Did you have a chance to read the file which TJ gave to you?" she asked.

"Yes Senator," Erin replied stoically.

The senator smiled. "You don't have to address me as senator every time here in my office. We're just going to have an informal off the record conversation."

"Okay then," Erin said. "What do you want from me and why me?"

"Erin, can I call you Erin?" the senator asked. Erin nodded in agreement knowing it wasn't really her choice how the senator chose to address her. "I want you to do exactly what you were going to do before I asked for this meeting. You are a distinguished officer and you are doing a fine job over in Kabul. I have read every report you have submitted since you have been at Camp Phoenix and so have most members of the Senate Armed Forces Committee."

The senator took a sip of her coffee and then deliberately turned the cup when setting it back on the table so Erin could read "Michigan Pride 2010" and see the rainbow flag which decorated the mug.

"Erin there are only four people who have read this file," she said grabbing it from the table. "You, me, TJ, and my cousin who wrote it-a retired gay FBI agent. You have my word that you will not be outed by me, TJ or my cousin."

"But someone else will and you will be there tout me as the latest DADT distinguished poster child?" she said, unable to hold back a bit of a sarcastic tone.

"No, there are a lot of hypocrites in this town, but I'm not one of them," the senator said sternly. "As I said this is an informal off the record conversation," she paused and relaxed back in the chair.

"My oldest grandchild is entering her sophomore year at West Point and she came out to me when she was 14. I want her to serve where she doesn't have to lie and hide, and if she chooses and can meet the same standards as the men, lead an infantry platoon as a lieutenant."

Erin finally cracked a smile, touched by the passion in the senator's voice and the fire in her eyes.

"I want that for her too," Erin said.

"Ok," the senator said. "You know it takes a committee with five subcommittees to change the texture of a combat boot shoelace over at the DOD. Even if we take a beating in the mid-term elections it is still highly likely that the repeal of DADT will occur."

Erin nodded at the senator, now eager to hear where the senator was leading.

"There will be a full-bird colonel PAO position beginning in April or May dedicated to the integration of openly gay and lesbian service members. I believe you are the ultimate choice for this position if you are interested. And if you are, you will return from Afghanistan in March when you are promoted and can enjoy some leave before reporting to the Pentagon."

Erin exhaled deeply, literally feeling all the stress and anxiety of the last two or so hours escaping her body.

"And hence TJ's concern with the status of my current relationship," she smiled.

"I knew you were a very savvy public affairs officer," the senator grinned. "I want you in the position because of your intelligence, your accomplishments, your two tours in Afghanistan, one in Iraq and one in Somalia, but you know very well that your personality and physical attributes will be assets as well. And if your story includes a committed relationship with a very attractive decorated NYPD detective…, well," the senator cocked an eyebrow and smiled.

"Thank you," Erin said, blushing slightly. "But what if DADT isn't repealed?"

"Then you come back from Kabul in June as currently scheduled and finish your assignment at Fort Hamilton," the senator said and then paused. "And if you so choose continue with your plans to retire. Personally, I would hate to see you retire and not further utilize your experience and skills to help improve our military for all who choose to serve."

"As I assume you are aware I haven't yet officially submitted my retirement paperwork," Erin said with a smirk. "How long would the Pentagon assignment be?"

"So I'll take that to mean you are interested," the senator replied. "I thought you might be. It will probably be between 12 and 18 months. And by that time you will be well known and well established in media circles so if you wanted to pursue options with the networks as a retired military expert I am confident they would be available as well as many speaking opportunities."

"I understand why you called this off the record meeting now and now," she emphasized the word, "I am very pleased and honored, but why the last minute scheduling of it?"

The senator laughed, puzzling Erin. "Well believe it or not TJ actually has a fiancé, and her flight from London was delayed last night," she said drawing a smile from Erin. "He assured me that was the only reason he will still at the Dulles airport outside of the IAB when you arrived."

"And he saw Olivia and I briefly kiss," Erin said.

"Yes. He is very loyal to me and one of his greatest strengths is that he is able to quickly envision almost every possible outcome of any scenario, but sometimes he focuses too much on what could possibly happen, worst case scenario, then what actually is," she said. "That being said I know you know how careful and discreet you have to be while this ludicrous policy is still in place."

"Yes, I do," Erin said.

"I was going to pull you aside this afternoon during the 45 minute break on your itinerary, but TJ rescheduled a meeting I had this morning so I could meet with you," the senator said looking at her watch. "I do have an 8:30 meeting though, so come with me and I'll kick TJ out of his office for a few minutes so you can call Detective Benson if you'd like."

"I appreciate that," Erin said gratefully.

"Erin," the senator said standing up and Erin instinctively stood as well. "You can tell her about your career options, but not anything about my granddaughter please."

"I understand and respect that," Erin said sincerely. "Thank you Senator," she said shaking the senator's hand once again.

Senator Rushing led Erin out of her office.

"Josie," she said to her secretary. "I need the number to the florist we use." Josie quickly produced the florist's business card which the senator snapped up as she walked towards TJ's office door knocking only to alert him as she opened the door and entered with Erin.

"TJ, Colonel Mathison needs your office for 10 minutes. While she is in here," she continued, handing TJ the business card, "call the florist and with a personal credit card send Detective Benson a nice mixed bouquet with a note of apology."

"Yes Senator," he said.

"Colonel Mathison, TJ will need to take you to the conference room at 8:40. There's a restroom on the way there. And if you think of any more questions from our meeting, I can speak with you privately again during the afternoon break."

"Thank you Senator Rushing," Erin said as the senator and TJ exited the office, with TJ closing the door behind him.

Erin quickly grabbed her cell phone and dialed Olivia's number.

"Hey," Olivia answered almost immediately.

"It's good Liv," Erin said excitedly. "It's actually really good."

"Thank God," Olivia almost shouted. "What happened?"

"Oh, before I forget don't freak out when you get a floral arrangement from TJ, the senator was not happy with his treatment of you," Erin laughed.

"Really," Olivia replied.

"I only have a couple of minutes, but she wants me to take a position as the PAO handling the integration of openly, or those who choose to be open I guess, gay and lesbian service members after DADT is repealed - assuming it is. It's not like she can cut the orders, but she obviously has the power and influence to make it happen if I want it."

"And do you want it?" Olivia asked sincerely.

"I'm intrigued, very intrigued. And if DADT is repealed and I accept it, it would bring me back from Kabul in March instead of June, and I would have at least a few weeks of leave before starting it," Erin said quickly, trying to tell Olivia as much as possible before TJ called for her. "The negative is that it would be at the Pentagon, -but only like 12 to 18 months and then I could retire and come back to New York."

"I definitely love the idea of you getting out of Afghanistan as soon as possible," Olivia said.

"I know it is a lot to process and we need to discuss and I really need to process it yet myself. I may be just more excited that I still have a career period," Erin said, hearing a knock at the door.

"I have to go. I'm sorry for what I said this morning in the hotel," she said. "I love you."

"I love you too and I'm proud of you Erin," Olivia said.

"Thanks babe," Erin said ending the call and opening the office door.


	37. Chapter 37

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 37 of ?

#-#

It was a beautiful late summer day in the nation's capital and after receiving the stress relieving phone call from Erin, Olivia quickly showered and walked from the hotel the short distance to the National Gallery of Art. She spent hours just inside the gallery's massive east building before discovering the six plus acre outdoor sculpture garden outside the gallery's west building. She thought of her trip to the MOMA with Alex a few months prior as she wandered the garden and wondered if she had ever visited where she was walking. Alex had told her of two visits to the National Gallery of Art, but as she walked Olivia had read the outdoor garden had opened in 1999, and with Alex's time in witness protection she reasoned she probably hadn't seen these marvelous sculptures that tastefully decorated the garden.

Knowing that Alex would so enjoy these sights she instinctively reached for her iPhone to call her, before first realizing that Alex was in Africa and second if she were to e-mail her she would have to explain the reason for her visit to Washington D.C.

"I won't give up my friendship with Alex," Liv murmured to herself. "That would be way too much to ask." She stopped mumbling her thoughts out loud, but fear swept over her body as the thoughts continued. "What if Alex says all or nothing? You're going to hurt her and then still ask her to be your friend, to grab lunch, drinks-what if she tells you to go to hell-She wouldn't say that-but she might decide to disappear from your life again-and could you really blame her?"

Consumed with the thoughts of Alex she was having in the sculpture garden Olivia decided to walk back to the hotel. It was nearly 2 and all she had eaten was the muffin from Starbuck's earlier that morning. She looked at the menu posted on an easel at the entrance to the main restaurant in the lobby.

Watching Olivia study the menu the hostess approached her.

"Not finding what you would like?" the hostess greeted her in a pleasant tone.

"I was thinking more like a cheeseburger and a beer," Olivia smiled. "I'm sure everything is great here, just not up for a full meal for lunch."

"Well our buffet has many options, but it closes in 10 minutes and it was ravaged by some conference attendees anyway," she smiled. "If you want a great burger, and the wings are awesome as well, and over 50 beers on tap or in bottle, I suggest Barney's on the third floor."

"That sounds great," Olivia smiled. "More my style."

The hostess smiled. "Lots of TV's too with a mixture of sports and news."

"Thank you," Olivia said gratefully as she stepped to walk towards the elevator.

Olivia saw the entrance to Barney's three steps off the elevator as she rounded the corner. "Definitely more my style," she thought. She took a quick glance around the pub and grill as she entered before pulling up a chair at the bar near the entrance. She ordered a draft beer and then thumbed through the menu. After ordering a mushroom burger and fries she turned in the chair looking at sports memorabilia and photos that adorned the walls near the bar. She could hear the buzz of laughter and conversation coming from tables separated from where she was sitting by a thick and long wood counter lined with stools.

"It is her," the striking dark-haired woman said to herself as Olivia turned her head to the right to take in more of Barney's décor.

"Once again," the dark-haired woman started as she grabbed the check on the table. "You two did great work. Enjoy your Friday off and I'll see you Monday morning."

"Thank you," they replied in unison. The woman grabbed her attaché and strode towards the bar smiling. She saw as she approached Olivia that her attention was focused on the plasma screen that hung behind the bar.

"So detective," she said slinking into the chair left of Olivia, "I think you need to buy me a beer."

"Holy Shit-Abbie Carmichael," Olivia exclaimed recognizing the former ADA's husky voice before she had even turned her head to see her.

"Normally, I would buy friends who visit my city and one of my favorite pubs a drink, but normally my friends let me know when they're in town," she said sarcastically but smiling.

"I'm sorry," Olivia said smiling, happy to see Abbie. "Kind of short notice trip and pretty full schedule."

"I can see that," Abbie smirked. "My kind of full schedule, sitting in a bar drinking and watching TV."

The bartender brought Abbie a beer and she handed him the check from her table and her credit card to close it out. Olivia blushed slightly, grateful when a waitress placed the plate with her mushroom burger and fries in front of her.

"I've got time Benson, -just wrapped a big case and I'm off 'til Monday," she smiled. "So what brings you to D.C.?"

"My girlfriend," Olivia said focusing her eyes on her French fries and blushing once more.

"About damn time Benson," Abbie squealed and then placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. "Serena owes me 100 bucks."

"I can't believe you two bet on me," Olivia said slapping Abbie on the arm and laughing. "So how is Serena?" Olivia asked sincerely. "How long has it been now?"

"She's pretty good. She's down in Florida this week with her brother. She'll be back Saturday early afternoon," Abbie said. "He just went through a divorce and this case I just finished, well it consumed most of my time the last four months." She took a drink of her beer. "Oh, October 10th will be three years together for us."

"Congratulations," Olivia said enthusiastically.

"Ok enough about me, you need to spill on the girlfriend," Abbie grinned. "Did you and Cabot finally hook up?" Abbie noticed immediately the smile fade from Olivia at the mention of Alex. "I'm sorry," she said.

"No it's complicated," Olivia said. "So you really do have some free time now?" she asked, hoping to have the objective ear and advice of the U.S. Attorney.

"I do. Why don't we go sit at that table over there after your finish your burger," she said pointing to the corner off the bar. "Little more private and quiet."

Olivia began recounting how she and Erin had met, how quickly they hit it off and how complicated things soon became. About an hour into their conversation Erin called Olivia to let her know she should be back at the hotel by 5:00, that the meetings were going well, but she was exhausted, the travel and the emotional roller coaster of the morning had worn her out. Olivia told her that she was having drinks with Abbie, and Erin after hearing about her resemblance to the attorney numerous times was eager to meet her.

"I would love to meet her too," Abbie had said smiling when Olivia told her while on the phone with Erin when Erin would be back at the hotel.

"So I want to see the picture on your phone of Erin," Abbie said. "I saw that there was one when you answered."

Olivia blushed slightly, knowing that Abbie would most likely tease her mercilessly after seeing her resemblance to Erin. Olivia pulled up one of four pictures of Erin she had stored on her iPhone and handed the phone to Abbie.

Abbie's jaw dropped slightly as she looked at the photo and she impulsively scanned through the other three.

"Damn fine looking woman," Abbie said in extended drawl and grinned. "Maybe we should take some blood samples."

#-#

Erin walked into Barney's still in uniform just before 5 p.m. The front area had already become somewhat crowded but Erin heard Olivia's laugh and walked directly to the table. Abbie stood up to greet her and both women stared at each other momentarily, struck by their physical similarities. Abbie sat back down and Erin reached for Olivia's beer and took a long, refreshing drink.

"I'm going to go back to the room and change into civilian clothes," she smiled. "Will you order me one of these please," she said putting Olivia's now nearly empty glass back down on the table.

"Sure," Olivia smiled. "We were going to order some wings, are you hungry?"

Erin turned her head towards Abbie. "Liv told me you're from Texas too. Do you know if this place serves a decent steak?"

"Well certainly not the quality you could get in Austin, but definitely good enough to appease an Aggie," Abbie smirked and then felt the playful smack of Erin's beret across her upper arm.

"Other than you being a UT grad, you seem all right Carmichael," Erin laughed.

When Erin returned a few minutes later dressed in a simple short sleeve white V-neck shirt and faded blue jeans Abbie and Olivia were laughing over one of Abbie's work stories from when she first started as an ADA under Jack McCoy.

Abbie ordered a round of shots causing a playful glare from Olivia who was already feeling no pain from all the beers she had downed in the past three plus hours.

"Oh c'mon Benson, you can hang," Abbie said wryly. "We have many reasons to toast."

"I think we need to toast to all of them in just one or two shots," Erin smiled. "Except for a few beers yesterday, I haven't had a drink in over three months. You'll be carrying us both back up to our room."

"A few years ago that would have probably been my goal," Abbie quickly shot back.

"Did I ever tell you about Abbie's tremendous lack of self-confidence," Olivia said sarcastically looking at Erin and causing all three women to laugh.

"Okay," Abbie said, "we could do just this one shot tonight and then tomorrow evening if you want I can take you ladies to the club Serena and I like to go to. It's down by DuPont Circle."

"That sounds like fun," Olivia said. "What do you think?" she said patting Erin's leg.

"I think I'll have a lot more energy tomorrow night, and Saturday I only have meetings from 9:30 until 2," Erin agreed.

"So tonight's shot," Abbie smiled, "should be to you Erin for your military service-and for earning me 100 dollars."

"Shut up Carmichael," Olivia exclaimed.

"Do tell?" Erin laughed.

"My girlfriend Serena was an ADA in New York as well, and we had a wager going for over five years now on whether Benson would ever join our team. So glad a fine woman like you finally brought her over," Abbie laughed.

"I think I need to give you an assist," Erin smiled at Abbie. "I don't know if she would have checked me out so thoroughly at Casey's apartment if we didn't look so much alike."

"Hello," Olivia blushed. "I'm sitting right here. Can we just do the damn shot now?"

A few quenching beers later Erin finally ordered her steak. The easy and fun conversation and physically being away from the dangers of Afghanistan were refreshing and relaxing. By the time Erin got her T-bone, Olivia had switched to Dr. Pepper and Abbie nursed a small draft beer. Since Erin had another full day of meetings ahead Abbie suggested that she could take Olivia around the city then since she was off. After Erin finished her meal they left Barney's, Abbie grabbing a taxi to her and Serena's house in Alexandria, and Olivia and Erin to their room.

Erin took a quick shower, threw on a t-shirt and shorts, propped herself up against the headboard of the bed with two pillows and booted up her laptop to see if she had any new e-mails from her executive officer or NCOIC back at Camp Phoenix. When Olivia exited the restroom after showering and changing, she found Erin still partially sitting up, laptop delicately balanced on one leg and fast asleep. She placed the laptop on the desk in the corner of the room and nudged and whispered to Erin until she was able to guide her under the covers and lying down completely.

Olivia ordered a 6:30 wake-up call, turned off the lights in the room and climbed into bed next to Erin. It was just closing in on 9 p.m. and although Olivia was still a bit buzzed, she wasn't especially tired, so she lowered the volume on the TV and flipped through the channels. Erin snuggled up against her and murmured something Olivia couldn't make out. She wrapped an arm around Erin's back and stroked her hair and shoulders.

Olivia awoke around 2 a.m. to a now silent and dark room except for the dim rays of light escaping from under the bathroom door. She sat partially up in the bed and waited for Erin to return from the bathroom. After a few minutes she padded towards the bathroom and tapped lightly on the door.

"You okay babe?" she asked.

"I'm okay," Erin said softly, opening the door standing bare chested. "Do you have a sweatshirt or extra t-shirt I could borrow?"

Olivia walked purposefully to her travel bag and pulled out both a t-shirt and a sweatshirt. She appraised Erin further in the bathroom light and could see beads of sweat on her forehead, above her upper lip and between her breasts.

"Bad dream," Olivia said softly but knowingly having woken up many times herself over the years in a similar state.

"Yeah," Erin said simply, taking the sweatshirt from Olivia and quickly pulling it over her chilled torso.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Olivia asked as Erin stepped from the bathroom and grabbed a bottled water from the mini-bar.

"Would you just hold me?" Erin asked.

"Of course," Olivia said stepping into the bathroom towards the discarded t-shirt Erin had been wearing. She felt the sweat drenched shirt quickly with both hands. She sighed, turned off the bathroom light and climbed back in bed. She pulled Erin into her arms wanting to ease the pain and fear that caused it.


	38. Chapter 38

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 38 of ?

#-#

"So tell me Benson, between Thursday evening and last night I've spent about six hours around your girlfriend," Abbie said lightheartedly as they sat on a step of the Lincoln Memorial eating sandwiches.

"Yes, is there a question," Olivia smiled looking across the National Mall towards the Washington Monument.

"So how is it that a woman as fine, as smart, as witty, and all she is, was single until you roped here-what about six months ago?" Abbie asked curiously.

"God, I'm glad you're basically married now—sounds like you're crushing on my girlfriend," Olivia joked.

"Even if I were single," Abbie started sincerely. "I wouldn't hit on your girl-we look too similar."

Olivia threw a quick elbow into Abbie's shoulder and laughed. "Great to know you have some boundaries my friend."

"So-you haven't answered my question," Abbie smiled. Olivia let out a light sigh and looked at Abbie.

"Her partner, Sheila, was in the Army too. They had been together a few years and Sheila was deployed to Afghanistan and Erin was in Iraq. She was killed in a helicopter crash over there—major mechanical failure Erin said," Olivia stated.

"That's awful," Abbie said.

"And she wasn't able to go to the funeral or anything. Had to stay in Iraq, keep commanding her battalion like nothing happened. She had a couple of friends over there that she could confide in, but…" Olivia said.

"A big part of the reason she is so passionate about DADT being repealed, I assume," Abbie said.

"Yah, she knows others have gone through similar situations and the whole policy is wrong, but especially when it comes to your partner being wounded or killed and being helpless, having no say." Olivia ran a hand through her hair and leaned back on the step. "We're going to Arlington to visit Sheila's grave and the graves of a couple soldiers she commanded when she was in Iraq later this afternoon."

Abbie slid a comforting arm around Olivia's back.

"God Abbie, I hate that she has to go back to Afghanistan," Olivia said leaning into Abbie's shoulder.

"Me too. She's a great woman and I love seeing you happy," Abbie said sincerely, rubbing Olivia's back. "Let's think positive. DADT is repealed, Erin is back in the States for good in March, and for about a year there after you'll get to see me a lot more-and oh Serena too-because you'll be down here visiting Erin."

Olivia laughed. "Yes, that was the first thing I thought when Erin told me about the possible position at the Pentagon-I'll get to see Carmichael more."

"Well, I do miss New York at times, but," Abbie said, eyes panning the Mall, "there are so many things I love about this city."

"You have been quite the ambassador for it yesterday and today," Olivia said standing up and smiling. "I could see you in 30 years in a 'lil red vest and a patriotic hat volunteering at a tourist information booth."

"Hah, as long as you make sure whichever Wal-Mart you're greeting at has enough of those red vests and hats in stock Benson, I'd be happy to pull a shift or two assisting or educating visitors to the nation's capital," Abbie smirked. "Did I give you a good enough tour that you know how to get back to your hotel? It's about time I go get my girl at the airport."

Abbie stood up and Olivia pulled her into a warm and friendly embrace.

"Thank you Carmichael. It's been great seeing you and having your ear and advice," Olivia said sincerely then stepping back slightly from the hug.

"Well remember to ask Erin about brunch tomorrow. I know Serena would love to see you and we'll make sure your woman, God I love saying Olivia's woman, eats a great meal before heading back to Army chow."

"I will," Olivia said laughing as she started to walk down the remaining steps of where they seated at the Memorial.

"And if you want to have a quickie after brunch before Erin has to go to the airport you can use the guest bedroom," Abbie grinned broadly.

"Carmichael," Olivia blushed.

"Anything to support our troops," Abbie exclaimed. "And of course our women in blue."

#-#

Erin had spent the morning and early afternoon in meetings at the Pentagon. She called Olivia at 2 p.m. to let her know they had wrapped up 30 minutes early. Rather than Erin coming back into the city to the hotel they agreed to meet at the cemetery. Olivia hopped on the Metro Blue Line and traveled the short distance to Arlington and the cemetery.

Olivia strolled along the east side of Arlington National Cemetery's Section 60, the final resting place of some from wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and many others from World War II, Korea and Vietnam. The beautiful day contrasted by the dozens of rows of white headstones spilling down a slight slope to a landscaped field accentuated by small, but growing trees.

Olivia saw Erin when she was still a good 150 yards away from Sheila's grave site. Erin was sitting in front of the white headstone and Olivia slowed her steps and walked until she was behind Erin, but separated by two rows of headstones. She stood quietly until she saw the spasms and shakes of Erin's upper body through her ACU jacket and heard the sobs of her grief.

Olivia padded softly to Erin and took a seat next to her on the ground, wrapping a comforting arm around her back.

"Thanks," Erin breathed, dabbing at her tears with a handkerchief. "I probably wouldn't be such a mess if I had arrived 10 minutes later. That service over there," she said pointing down the hill, "well I was walking behind it when the bugler started Taps."

"Erin I don't want you to feel you should or need to hide your emotions from me," Olivia said gently, squeezing Erin's shoulder.

Erin nodded. "I was just telling Sheila that Afghanistan is maybe a little less of a fucking mess than she experienced- -that was after I told her about you-that you make me happy-that she was right, I could and should go on and have love again."

"I agree," Olivia smiled slightly. "And-I think we would both agree that you should take that position at the Pentagon if it happens. Senator Rushing is right you're the ultimate soldier and person for it."

"And you would be okay with it if an occasional story included you, us as a couple, if requested?" Erin asked softly.

"Occasional," Olivia smirked. "Erin, I would never ask you to sacrifice something you are so passionate about and rightfully so. I'm proud to be your girlfriend and I love you," Olivia said looking into Erin's deep brown eyes.

"I love you too," Erin said. She reached into her attaché and pulled out a small American flag on a wood pole and twisted the bottom of the pole into the ground until it was secured upright in front of Sheila's grave. "C'mon," Erin said. "Three more flags to place and then we can do whatever you want."

"What I want right now is to hold your hand as we walk, but I know I can't because you're in uniform," Olivia said softly.

#-#

"Oh Lord," Erin mumbled hearing the shrill ring of the hotel phone. "No way was that four hours of sleep already."

Olivia picked up the receiver and abruptly hung it back up as she heard the automated wake-up call begin.

"It was," Olivia mumbled looking at the clock.

"God, I wish we could just stay in bed until I have to go to the airport," Erin said pressing her naked body into Olivia's.

"Me too," Olivia smiled. "But I think we should cash in Abbie's spare bedroom quickie offer after brunch."

"Definitely," Erin smiled. "Last evening, last night, after midnight was wonderful, but I need and want more of you," she said trailing kisses down Olivia's neck and shoulder.

"I really don't want you to stop," Olivia gasped as Erin's lips and tongue teased a hardened nipple. "But if you don't, you're going to be late for the breakfast and since Senator Rushing is going to be there I really don't want the wrath of TJ again.

"He's ordered to like you now," Erin chuckled gazing up into brown eyes as she rested her chin between Olivia's breasts. "Less than six months hopefully and we can spend many Sundays in bed," Erin mused as she pushed out from under the covers and off the bed."

"Well, I do think we have time to conserve some shower water together, since I am headed to Abbie and Serena's when you check out," Olivia smiled and followed Erin to the bathroom.

#-#

Abbie knocked lightly on the guest bedroom door. "Hey Erin, the taxi should be here in about 10 minutes."

"Thanks Abbie," Erin replied.

"I better get up and put my boots on," Erin said kissing the top of Olivia's head as they snuggled, now fully clothed on the bed.

"I should just go to the airport with you," Olivia said, drawing an arched eyebrow from Erin.

"Babe, I appreciate that but it doesn't make much sense, you'll just be sitting around the airport two extra hours. Besides you can stay here and spend more time with Abbie and Serena and wash these sheets before your flight," Erin smiled.

"True," Olivia laughed. "Must be good houseguests." Olivia pressed her lips to Erin's once more and the kiss quickly intensified as their tongues tangled and tasted once more.

"I love you Olivia Benson," Erin said after finally breaking the kiss. "Fearlessness."

"I love you too Erin "Hot Texan" Mathison," Olivia smiled as she stepped off the bed and extended an arm to pull Erin up.

They walked out of the bedroom together and Erin plopped on the floor next to the front door and began lacing up her boots. Abbie and Serena were sitting on the small sofa near the front door.

"Thank you so much you two," Erin said sincerely to Abbie and Serena.

"You just stay safe and pop us an e-mail when you can," Abbie replied and Serena nodded.

"Abbie just remember they can monitor her e-mails," Olivia said seriously.

"Damn Benson," Abbie laughed. "I won't send any porn 'til DADT is repealed."

"I think I trust you Carmichael," Erin laughed as they heard the two quick honks of a car horn.

Olivia wrapped her arms around Erin once more, kissing her on her neck and whispering "Fearlessness."

"Fearlessness," Erin replied, squeezing Olivia tightly and placing a quick kiss on her lips.

Olivia walked with Erin down the driveway to the taxi and they hugged one more time before Erin slid into to the backseat of the taxi and waved goodbye.

#-#

Abbie was standing at the front when Olivia walked back in. She pulled Olivia into a hug and then handed her a beer.

"Schnapps, vodka or tequila, Liv?" Serena asked. "We're toasting Erin."

"Peach schnapps?" Olivia asked.

"Yep," Serena smiled.

The three women sat and talked and downed a few beers each until Olivia's taxi arrived.

"We really could have taken you to the airport and Erin too," Serena said.

"Well at least the government was paying Erin's fare," Abbie cracked.

"Abbie you were right," Olivia started, before Abbie interrupted. "Did you hear that honey? Benson just said I was right."

"Jesus," Olivia sighed and smiled. "You can't even be serious long enough to let me finish a compliment. Anyway, I should have called to let you know I would be here-but I'm so thankful that you were at Barney's Thursday and everything since then."

"Me too," Abbie said. "We need to do a better job of staying in touch."

"Seriously Olivia," Serena interjected. "Abbie can work some crazy hours, but now that I'm in private practice mine usually are pretty consistent. Please call. I know you worry about her over there, so don't try to handle it all yourself. You have enough stress with your job."

"Thanks Serena," Olivia smiled. "I have gotten a lot better with not keeping everything pent up inside me."

#-#

Olivia dozed off on the short flight back to New York. When she arrived at her apartment she quickly glanced through the four days of mail that had accumulated in her box and then sunk into the couch, turned the TV on and booted up her laptop.

Erin was scheduled to land in Munich in about two hours and then she had to catch a regional flight to Landstuhl before eventually flying to Kabul on a military plane from Ramstein Air Base. She knew that Erin would call at least once from Germany and hoped that she could stay awake until she did. She scoured through her e-mails and was a bit surprised to not find one from Alex. They had been e-mailing rather frequently the first week or so that Alex had been there.

"Duh Liv," Olivia said out loud. "You haven't e-mailed her in five, six days, what do you expect?"

Olivia grabbed her cell phone and called Casey.

"Hey Liv, you back home?" Casey answered.

"Yes, you have a good memory," Olivia said.

"Well Jeff is over here and has been since this afternoon. Erin called him from the airport. You made her a very happy woman Olivia," Casey said gleefully.

"I love her, I really do," Olivia said.

"Please, tell me you're not going to add a but to that," Casey said sternly.

"No, I'm not. I just don't like that I'm going to hurt Alex. I didn't want to hurt either of them," Olivia sighed.

"I know. Hey, I talked to Angie on Thursday and they were headed to that three-day safari in Zambia they were on the waiting list for. Somebody cancelled so they were just about to fly on some tiny plane to Kapinga Camp in Zambia's Kafue National Park."

"Really," Liv said. "I guess that's why Alex has been out of touch."

"I got an e-mail from Angie yesterday," Casey replied. "She said it is amazing there. They've taken a ton of pictures and are having a blast. Oh, and they should be back in New York this Saturday rather than the following Tuesday."

"Good, I worry about her when she's down there and as much as I am dreading the conversation, I need to talk to her in person about Erin and me when she gets back."

"You do," Casey said. "Listen Liv, I'm glad you are back home and definitely want to talk some more, but Jeff leaves for six days to a conference in the morning…"

"No problem," Olivia said sincerely. "Maybe we could do dinner sometime this week."

"Off the top of my head," Casey started. "Wednesday night or Saturday during the day or early evening is open for me."

"Okay," Olivia said. "I'll call you."

Olivia awoke on the couch around 3 a.m. and reached for her phone on the coffee table.

_Just made it to Ramstein. Get to crash out in quarters for a few hours before flight to Kabul. Didn't want to wake you. Fearlessness._

She typed back a quick text and then headed off to bed.


	39. Chapter 39

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 39 of ?

#-#

Olivia pulled into a parking space less than a half block away from the restaurant she was meeting Casey at for dinner. The week had gone by quickly and Olivia was glad that Casey's Friday evening schedule cleared so they could get together. She looked forward to having her Saturday free before meeting Alex on Sunday to talk, to have the conversation she dreaded, but knew was unfair to delay.

She had exchanged a few e-mails with Alex during the week and she was somewhat surprised that Alex hadn't probed on why she requested they meet to talk so soon after her return. Alex was upbeat in her e-mails, highly pleased and energized with the progress the task force was making this trip and still raving about the safari in Zambia.

Olivia walked into the nondescript pub and grill they had chosen primarily because of its location, not far from the precinct and on Casey's way home. She took a seat in an empty booth and ordered a beer. She was actually about 15 minutes early, pleased to be done with her work week and relieved to not have to call Casey and say she was running late because of work for a change.

"Damn Casey, you look awesome," Olivia said as she greeted Casey with a warm embrace. "Your hair looks great and the suit—wow."

"Well thanks," Casey blushed. "I thought I looked pretty good when I left the house this morning, but after nine hours-you give such nice compliments-well no wonder Erin is whipped," Casey chuckled.

Olivia blushed slightly at Casey's comment. Casey settled into the booth, opposite of Olivia. "Thanks Liv," she smiled. "I did just get my hair trimmed and I'm staying a blonde now with just a few highlights. And Jeff actually saw this suit when we were shopping. He thinks I look good in dark blue, or maybe it was more the length of the skirt," she laughed.

Casey ordered a glass of wine and they caught up on their work weeks as they looked over the menus and then placed their orders.

"So have you talked to Erin this week?" Casey asked.

"She called Wednesday, but I was in the middle of an interrogation so I couldn't answer," Olivia frowned slightly. "On the voice mail she said she would try calling me tonight or tomorrow."

"She left me a message Wednesday night too. She called the house and I was out walking Petraeus. I wish she would have called my cell phone," Casey said.

"Everything is okay right?" Olivia questioned.

"Yes," Casey said emphatically. "I was just disappointed I missed her call. As you know she doesn't get many opportunities to call."

"Ok," Olivia nodded.

"Stop it Benson," Casey said. "Don't make up things to worry about. She sounded very good, very positive on the message. I wouldn't lie to you and don't forget I know Erin quite well too."

"And you know me pretty damn well," Olivia smiled. "I know we can't step time, and I know she is just as much a soldier as I am a cop, but I just want her safe and home."

Casey slid her hand across the table and grasped Olivia's hand. "We all do. I worry about her too and so does Jeff-and I also worry about you and El, and Munch and Fin-but I know you all are smart, highly trained professionals."

"It is kind of ironic sometimes," Olivia mused taking a sip of her beer, "that you don't usually worry about yourself, but you'll worry about your partner who you know has the same or better skills and same training."

Olivia ordered another beer and Casey another glass of wine. She glanced at her watch and smiled.

"Well, at least Alex and Angie should be well on their way to Germany now," Olivia said. "I'm proud of her for her work on this and glad she is so passionate about it, but still I worry about her when she goes down there. Not just because of the obvious dangers there, but the nightmares it triggered for her last time."

"She hasn't had any nightmares this time," Casey responded quickly.

Olivia cocked a curious eyebrow. "Well, I asked her about that in an e-mail and she said no. I guess you two have been in touch a lot too?"

"Angie and I have been a lot and I got a few e-mails from Alex as well," Casey said as she fiddled with her fork and tossed around the remaining salad in the bowl in front of her.

"Out with it Novak," Olivia said firmly but in a pleasant tone. "I know you know something."

"I do, but I'm not sure Alex wanted me to know-and I'm not sure it is my place to tell you-but yet I think it might make your conversation with her a bit easier on Sunday," Casey sighed.

"What? She's sleeping with Angie?" Olivia blurted.

"Not that I know of," Casey said sternly. "But if you're happy with Erin, shouldn't Alex have a right to be happy too? It's not like Angie doesn't have a lot to offer."

"I know," Olivia barked back before calming herself. "Rationally, yes I want her to be happy. Emotionally, even though I am with Erin and I have chosen to be with Erin, it is hard to think of Alex choosing another woman over me."

"And what I was going to tell you," Casey started, waiting for Olivia to resume eye contact with her, "is that Alex told Angie that she knew you chose Erin before she left for Africa."

"Really," Olivia said, downing a good portion of her beer and gesturing to the waitress for another one. "I didn't say anything to her regarding Erin. Hell, I didn't even tell her I was going to D.C. to see her. I didn't want to hurt her."

"No Liv," Casey said leaning back in the booth. "I don't think it has anything to do with you going to see Erin. I don't think she knows you went to see Erin, if you didn't tell her."

"Then what?" Olivia questioned.

"She told Angie that when you two got back from Lake Placid and you stayed at her place that you got a phone call from Erin. She heard you talking to her and was watching you from just inside the bedroom doorway," Casey said calmly.

Olivia's mind raced, trying to recall exactly what she had said to Erin during that conversation. "I know I spoke quietly because I didn't want to wake Alex up, but you know we have to be careful what we say on those calls regardless because of DADT."

"Liv, she told Angie it wasn't anything in particular you said. It was more about your body language, the genuine and full smiles while you were talking to Erin," Casey replied.

"I smile when I talk to lots, ok maybe not lots of people-but some people, some friends," Olivia said defensively, running a perplexed hand through her hair.

"Does it really matter if you are right on this?" Casey said exasperated. "The point is she figured it out before she left for Africa that you wanted to be with Erin so she has had some time to deal with it."

"No, it doesn't matter if I am right Casey-I just can't believe she could jump to that conclusion from that phone call. I mean I pretty much knew I wanted to be with Erin, but it wasn't 'til I saw her at the airport that I knew absolutely," Olivia sighed.

"Jesus Benson-Alex knows you. I doubt the phone call was the only thing too-but the point is you said you were dreading telling her that you want to be with Erin because you don't want to hurt her," Casey said grabbing Olivia's beer and taking a drink. "I don't think the waitress is ever going to come back with a beer for me," Casey mumbled.

"I don't want to hurt her," Olivia nearly shouted at Casey, only catching herself when she saw the waitress approaching with two beers.

"Then why don't you act like that is your priority-rather than focusing on whether she is fucking Angie because she came to the correct conclusion that she wasn't going to be with you," Casey stammered, her face red with anger.

"I'm going to use the restroom," Olivia said abruptly, already half way out of the booth. Casey placed her head in her hands and sighed. "How the fuck did this turn into a fight?" she mumbled to herself. Olivia returned to the booth a few moments later. She sat back down and looked at Casey with a lopsided grin.

"I was being an asshole," Olivia said softly. "I'm sorry. I know you're just trying to help-and you do know me too. I don't want Alex out of my life. I want us to be friends. There is always going to be a part of me that loves her."

"Which is exactly why I wanted to tell you what Alex told Angie. It is going to be emotional enough when you two talk and I don't want you or her saying something you'll regret," Casey said. "You both are so damn hard-headed sometimes."

"I know," Olivia nodded in agreement. "I guess-well it just hurts some that she would just come to that conclusion and not tell me that is what she thought-and just move on with Angie."

"You don't know that there is anything going on between them Liv," Casey said.

"But I know that Angie is interested in Alex—hell Alex even confirmed that."

"She is," Casey agreed. "But Liv, you're with Erin-and after all you and Alex have been through over the years, and now the past few months where you two have been intimate-I'm sure it is going to be difficult for you both to try and transition back to friendship only."

"It will be tough," Olivia nodded. "It's not like I don't still have feelings for Alex-and I'm certainly still attracted to her physically. I mean this all still sort of baffles me. I wanted Alex for so long and then she finally says she wants me and I'm in love with Erin."

"And Erin's in love with you-and if it matters-I think you made the right decision. I know you pretty well too and I see something in you when you're with Erin, when you talk to Erin, when you talk about her that isn't there with anyone else, even Alex," Casey said.

"I think it used to be there with Alex, and at times I still felt it-my phone," Olivia started before reaching to her waist.

"Benson," she answered.

"Hey you, what you doing?" Erin shrieked happily.

"Hey Erin," Olivia smiled. "I'm just finishing dinner with Casey-who says Hi-and I'm throwing some bills on the table for the check so I can go outside and hear you better."

"Go," Casey said grinning. "I'll meet you outside."

"Well, I wanted to let you know that I got an e-mail from Senator Rushing. She said that even with the latest BS on DADT that she still thinks that position will start in late April and I can home in March sometime."

"God, I hope so Erin," Olivia exclaimed. "I know you know, but the counts-"

"Yes, they unfortunately are going up," Erin interrupted, well aware of the increasing casualties. "But part of that is we have more operations going on throughout the country since we have 30,000 more troops in theatre now."

"Ok a part of it, but still it's a hellhole and I just want you back," Olivia protested.

"Me too. It is great to hear your voice though-and I'm doing fine. D.C. kind of rejuvenated me," Erin laughed. "In many ways-thank you."

"You ain't kidding," Olivia laughed, signaling to Casey as she came out the restaurant door. "Incredibly revitalizing."

"Hey, hey my purse," Olivia and Casey heard a woman shout from behind as a man in a black leather jacket sprinted past them. Olivia quickly handed Casey her phone and started chasing the man, yelling "Stop police," as she ran.

"Liv, Liv," Erin shouted into the phone. Casey brought the phone to her ear as she followed Olivia as quickly as she could in her suit and heels.

"It's Casey, Erin. Liv just took off after a purse snatcher."

"Don't hang up on me Casey," Erin demanded.

Casey felt through her purse for her phone as she ran, turning to the left at an alley she thought Olivia cut towards moments before. A dim light hung above a building door towards the other end of the alley and Casey saw Olivia scaling a short stone barrier to the left of the building. Just as Olivia's torso reached the crest of the barrier Casey heard the shot. She screamed as she saw Olivia fall backwards off the obstacle, her shoulders and then her head smashing on the alley pavement below before her body stilled.

Casey dialed 911 on her phone as she ran towards Olivia. She crouched down next to Olivia, calling out to her and feeling for a pulse. She barked information to the 911 operator, letting the operator know that a detective was down. She had been shot from what Casey could see in the upper left shoulder. She had a pulse, a weak one, and was breathing faintly, but she was non-responsive. Casey then noticed the pool of blood flowing from the back of Olivia's head onto the pavement.

"Tell them to hurry," Casey screamed into her phone. Then she heard Erin yelling from Olivia's phone. As she pressed Olivia's phone to her ear, Casey heard sirens, followed shortly by flashing lights speeding towards them in the alley.

"Erin," Casey yelled trying to overcome the noise of the sirens. "She's been shot, but she's breathing and has a pulse."

"No, no, no," Erin cried. "Don't hang up on me."

"I won't baby. Just hang with me," Casey replied trying to steady her voice and her nerves. "Help is here now. They'll take good care of her. Erin, I have to talk to the EMTs and police now."

"Tell her I love her," Erin replied, sobbing.

"You tell her quick. I'm going to put the phone by her ear a second," Casey said then pulling it away quickly as the EMTs started tending to Olivia.

"Erin," Casey called back into Olivia's phone. "I'm just going to place the phone at the top of my purse so you should be able to hear. I'll be back with you as soon as I can."


	40. Chapter 40

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback. (Sorry for the delay-busy week and well it's football season now-so this chapter is a little shorter than usual but as laurel hardy pointed out I needed to get Olivia out of that damn alley. Thanks for reading and all the comments!).  
**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 40 of ?

#-#

Casey sat in a row of chairs just outside the emergency room at Mercy General with Elliot and Captain Cragen waiting for an update on Olivia. She had regained consciousness just prior to being loaded into the ambulance, but she was confused, complained of blurred vision and kept asking what happened until the EMTs fitted her with an oxygen mask and she quieted and closed her eyes, the bright lights from inside the ambulance intensifying the pain she felt throughout her head, but shooting excruciatingly from the back of it.

Erin had had to clear the military line she had called from and Casey agonized and grieved for Erin. At least she knew that Olivia had regained consciousness but Casey couldn't imagine how awful it was for Erin, being once again deployed to a faraway war and possibly facing the-Casey wouldn't allow herself to think of the possibility. She instead sent Erin another e-mail from her phone letting her know that they were still waiting for an update outside the ER.

Since Jeff was still out of town at his conference, Casey had called Tracey from the softball team and asked her to come to the hospital with a change of clothes, her laptop and her phone charger. Tracey arrived with a new iPhone charger for Olivia's phone as well. Casey walked into a restroom to change. As she removed her navy blue suit jacket she saw more blood, more of Olivia's blood on the cuff and lower part of the right sleeve of her blouse. It was then she first vividly remembered applying direct pressure with her hand on Liv's shoulder while she had talked to the 911 operator. When she had cleaned her hands earlier it had only been with a moist towelette while sitting in the back of the police car which followed the ambulance to the hospital. Now standing in the bright light of the bathroom and looking at the angled mirror over the sink, the blood from Olivia and dirt and residue from the alley pavement came into vivid focus.

Casey slid her blouse off then her skirt, she grasped the sink with one arm as she pulled off one high-heeled pump and then the next followed by her nylons. She grabbed some paper towels from the dispenser and wetted them, dabbing away the dried blood on her right wrist and then on her right knee.

"Fuck you God," she screamed into the mirror, her body beginning to shake as tears began to pour from her eyes. "Not Liv, not Liv-stop taking the good ones damn it." She thought of Olivia on the pavement seven years before as Alex lay bleeding, of Jeff in that HUMVEE when he lost his leg and gained permanent scars, of Sheila's helicopter crashing in remote mountains in fucking Afghanistan, of innocent victims she still saw from her days as the SVU ADA, and the faces of veterans she worked with now, some only 19 or 20 some missing limbs and some scarred from burns and some both. "What a fucked up world," she mumbled, her body trembling.

The bathroom door opened and Casey was quickly cognizant of the fact that she was standing in front of the sink with bare feet and only a beige silk bra and panties covering her. A woman in scrubs asked her if she was okay before walking into one of the stalls. Casey quickly put on the jeans, sweatshirt and tennis shoes that Tracey had brought for her. She splashed her face with water and then dabbed away mascara and makeup smears before walking back to join Tracey, Elliot and Cragen outside the ER.

"Casey," Cragen called as she walked back to her chair. "Do you think you might be able to identify the perp in a line up? A patrol unit just picked up a subject matching the description the woman who had her purse stolen gave."

"Don like I said, all I saw was black leather jacket, black jeans, short black hair and probably about 5'10". I never saw his face," Casey said regretfully. "It happened so fuckin' fast."

Casey fished through her purse for her ringing phone. "Here," Tracey said pulling the phone from the charger under her chair. "Found an outlet."

"Novak," Casey answered abruptly.

"Damn what are you so pissy about," Angie said. "Just wanted to let you know that we're getting ready to head back to the airport." Casey glanced at her watch it was nearly eleven in New York, making it about 5 a.m. in Germany.

"Is Alex right by you?" Casey asked quickly.

"She's in the shower, why?" Angie demanded, sensing there was something wrong.

"Olivia was shot tonight. We're waiting at the hospital for the doctor to give us an update," Casey said.

"Oh fuck," Angie mumbled.

"I don't know if we should tell Alex now or wait until you two get back to New York," Casey said.

"Casey, she is going to want to know. Our flight isn't until 8:40," Angie insisted.

"What am I going to want to know?" Alex said stepping from the bathroom into the main part of the hotel room. Casey grimaced, hearing Alex's voice in the background.

"Casey," Elliot said softly, nudging her with an elbow then wrapping a comforting arm around her shoulder. "I'll talk to Alex."

As Elliot began to update Alex, Erin called Casey again on Olivia's phone.

Cragen paced the hall, waiting to hear from Munch or Fin as to whether the woman who had her purse stolen had arrived at the precinct yet for the lineup with the possible suspect a patrol unit had picked up earlier.

"I'm looking for Elliot Stabler," a doctor in scrubs called emerging from the emergency room.

"Right here," Elliot responded. "Alex, I'm going to hold the phone so you can hear," he added softly.

"Doctor we're all here for Detective Benson," Cragen interjected. Casey turned Olivia's phone slightly away from her ear, so she could hear the doctor and Erin could listen.

"Okay," the doctor said. "Detective Benson is stable, but she remains in serious condition. She is conscious, but the CT scan on her head revealed a depressed skull fracture. However, the scan also indicated no intracranial bleeding and the depth of the depression is about one-eighth of an inch. She definitely has a concussion, and we are going to run another CT scan on her tomorrow, but because the depth of the skull fracture is minimal and no bone chips or bleeding were evident we don't think any surgery there will be necessary."

"There?" Elliot questioned. "What about the GSW?"

"The bullet went through clean, meaning no fragments," the doctor said pointing to his left shoulder. "However, it did cause what we call a type two B distal fracture of her clavicle and a partially ruptured conoid ligament. Our orthopedic specialist Dr. Orton assisted in the ER. It is likely Detective Benson will need additional surgery to repair the damage to the ligament," the doctor said.

"She's going to make it though-she's going to recover right?" Casey demanded excitedly.

"She is in serious condition. She suffered significant trauma to her head because of the fall, but as I said the CT results are favorable and encouraging with no bleeding and the minimal depth of the skull fracture," the doctor said.

"Liv's tough," Cragen said reassuringly.

"She's in very good physical shape and she's young," the doctor added.

"Oh, she'll love the young part doctor," Elliot smiled, his comment and smile relieving some of the tension and anxiety all had been experiencing the past few hours. "Can she have visitors now?" he asked.

"They're moving her up to a room on third, so you can see her shortly. Are you all NYPD?" the doctor asked.

Elliot identified everyone physically in their group.

"I'll call up to third," the doctor said. "The charge nurse up there, her husband is retired NYPD so she'll bend the visitation rules a bit for you all-but she does need rest, so keep the visits brief."

"But she is conscious, she is awake?" Casey stated more than questioned.

"Yes she is, but she doesn't remember what happened, so don't press her on that right now. That's pretty common with the severity of her concussion to have some short term memory loss. And she's very sensitive to light right now which is also expected," the doctor said.

"Should the short term memory return?" Cragen asked.

"She may not remember the exact incident, but she remembers working earlier today and having dinner with-is it Casey?" the doctor asked.

"Yes," Casey nodded.

"But she doesn't remember being shot or anything that led up to it. I have to get back to the ER now," the doctor said starting to walk away.

"Thank you doctor," they almost all said in unison.

"Oh," he said turning back. "Before I came out here she was asking for Erin and for I think the other person was Alex."

"They're both on phones listening," Elliot smiled. "Thank you again doctor."


	41. Chapter 41

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 41 of ?

#-#

"Did you catch all of what the doc said?" Elliot asked pressing the phone to his ear once again.

"I did. How high did she fall from again?" Alex asked with concern in her voice.

"A little over three feet, but Casey said the shot just knocked her right down so she didn't get to brace or anything," Elliot sighed.

"It's bad enough as it is," Alex sighed, "but I'm so glad she doesn't have any internal bleeding."

"C'mon Alex," Elliot said jokingly. "You know how hard headed she is."

"Very true!" Alex smiled slightly. "I know she's tough too. I just wish I was there already."

"I know," Elliot tried to console, "but you know she will get great care here and like the doc said she needs some rest, but I'll call you back just as soon as they let me in to see her."

"So Erin knows too what is going on, right?" Alex asked. "I heard you say they're both on phones."

"Yes, Casey is still talking to her now," Elliot said somewhat tentatively.

"That's good," Alex said. "I know she lost her partner in Afghanistan when she was deployed before. This has got to be awful for her being deployed…"

"Alex…" Elliot interrupted. "Liv is going to recover just fine…She'll be cranky though wanting to come back to work well ahead of when they'll allow her to," Elliot chuckled.

"You're right," Alex laughed. "Good thing it is her left shoulder. I can speak from experience it sucks to have your arm in a sling for weeks."

"And you were shot on your right side," Elliot remembered, "so when she starts bitching about not being able to use her left arm…and you were alone."

"True, very true…but glad she has a lot of people to help her whether she wants it or not," Alex added. "Hey El, I know you all are going to need some sleep, but let Casey know too that we will have internet access on the flight."

"We'll e-mail for sure, but hopefully they'll let us in her room soon and you can talk to her," Elliot said.

"I have international everything you can have on my cell so you should be able to get me. But if you can't, e-mail me please and I'll call back," Alex stated.

"Will do Alex-she is going to be okay," Elliot said reassuringly. "Do you want me to pick you up at the airport?"

"Thanks El, but we'll get a cab. Don't want you chauffeuring me when the asshole who did this is caught," Alex said.

"We're still waiting to hear the results of the lineup, but you know I want that interrogation," Elliot stated.

"I may have to ask Don if I can observe. I definitely want you doing it. Hell, I may pay a visit back to Liz to see if she can pull some strings so I can prosecute this one," Alex said only half-joking.

#-#

Casey and Tracey walked towards Elliot and Cragen, each holding two coffees from the Starbucks just outside of the hospital.

"Just straight up coffee, no whipped cream or flavors, but we do have some cream and sugar if you need it," Casey said.

"Thanks ladies," Cragen said reaching for his ringing phone and a coffee. "Give me some good news Munch," he answered.

"Wish I could captain," Munch replied. "Our purse snatching victim definitively picked an officer Gonzalez that we threw in the lineup to make six-and he's definitely not our perp.

"Have you questioned the subject patrol picked up?"

"Yes and I'm sure he is not our guy. Three people have verified his alibi of being at Ricolli's for dinner. He let us swab him, no gunshot residue on his hands, and he stripped to his boxers-totally clean, no cuts, scrapes—and background check, not even an unpaid parking ticket," Munch summarized.

"Damn, did he even look like what the victim described or did that patrol unit just pick up the first man in a black leather jacket they saw," Cragen vented rather than asked.

"How's Liv doing?" Munch asked.

"We're waiting to see her. She's got a long recovery path ahead, but she should be okay," Cragen said.

"Maybe she will be able to give us a better description," Munch stated.

"I don't know," Cragen responded quickly. "Right now at least the doctor says she doesn't remember any of it."

"We'll get the bastard!" Munch said emphatically.

"I know," Cragen said. "I'll be back there right after I get to see Liv. Keep me informed."

#-#

"It doesn't add up that just a purse snatcher would shoot a cop," Elliot said looking towards Cragen. "He's got to be running from something, something big."

"I agree," Cragen added. "He was probably on the run already, needed some quick cash and went for the purse thinking it would be an easy hit."

"What about an escapee?" Casey questioned.

"That's a possibility," Cragen said. "We're checking into every angle-and if Liv can't-hell even if she can remember some details I'm going to bring the media in on it in the morning if we don't have a suspect in custody. Somebody out there has to know something."

"I'm headed back to the precinct once I get to talk to her," Elliot said taking a sip from his coffee. "Case, how was Erin holding up?"

"A little better now that she heard what the doctor said. She was fearing the worst, like we all were. But she's feeling helpless and she's blaming herself, thinking that if she wouldn't have called when she did Liv wouldn't have been outside to see the bastard to chase in the first place," Casey sighed.

"God it's not her fault," Tracey almost shouted.

"I know and that's what I told her," Casey said her voice breaking slightly. "But I keep thinking what if I had chosen a different restaurant, just one a half block down the street and this wouldn't have happened."

"Casey both you and Erin need to stop it. You know Liv won't tolerate either of you blaming yourselves," Elliot said firmly.

#-#

"Detective Stabler," a nurse called walking towards the group.

"Here," Elliot said standing up to greet the nurse.

"I'm Kathy Harrington, the charge nurse on third," she said shaking Elliot's hand briefly and nodding hello to the group. "I can take you up to see Detective Benson now. Just two at a time in her room though and please keep the total visit time under 20 minutes. She really needs rest."

"So she's awake now?" Cragen asked.

"Yes, but she's groggy and medicated," Harrington said leading the group to the elevator. "She seems to be regaining at least parts of what happened. She keeps asking if Casey is ok and she wants to talk to Erin."

"Casey can you get Erin on the phone?" Elliot asked.

"I can't. It's one of those military lines. I can just e-mail her and hope she can call right away," Casey said.

"Nurse Harrington, I'm Captain Cragen. Any chance you'll let the three of us," he said pointing to Elliot and Casey, "go in at the same time. I want her to see that Casey is ok and Detective Stabler is her partner…"

"Okay Captain," Harrington smiled slightly. "But I'm standing firm on 20 minutes max."

"Thank you," Cragen said sincerely. "I'll be out in five. And they'll be out before 20."

#-#

"Hey partner," Elliot said squeezing his partner's right hand in the darkened room. Olivia opened her eyes briefly at the touch and sound of her partner's voice.

"Case, you're okay?" Olivia said softly almost mumbling, but focusing her eyes for a moment on Casey.

"I'm fine," Casey said. "Erin is okay too. She's going to call again as soon as she can."

"Good," Olivia sighed, closing her eyes and then opening them slightly again.

"How are you feeling Liv?" Cragen asked patting her left forearm softly.

"Like there's a brick being pounded on the back of my head," she said looking at Cragen. "Not going back."

"Not going back-what Liv?" Cragen asked softly.

"That's what he said. I can't remember more," she whimpered in frustration.

"That's ok Liv. That helps," Elliot said eyeing Cragen. "We're going to get him Liv."

"Hello," Casey answered the ringing cell phone.

"It's Erin."

"Hold on sweetie," Casey said bringing the phone to Liv's right ear.

"Erin," Olivia called out.

"Hey babe," Erin said, smiling slightly with relief at finally hearing Olivia's voice.

"I love you," Olivia gasped, a sharp pain shooting down her left arm.

"I love you too," Erin said. "I'm trying to get back there."

"I'll be okay. Just want my head to stop hurting so much."

"Get some rest and be a good patient," Erin said somewhat sternly. "Let them take care of you."

Olivia cracked a half lopsided grin. "I am a good patient, what have they told you?" Elliot, Casey and Cragen all laughed.

"She will be a very good patient this time Erin," Elliot said loudly.

"She is ordered to be," Cragen added.

"I am so sorry about this," Erin gasped, her eyes welling with tears.

"Erin you didn't do this. Stop it. I'll be fine."

"I just…" Erin started.

"You didn't shoot me," Olivia blurted.

"Liv, do you remember it now?" Cragen quizzed, hopeful her memory would fully restore.

Olivia slid her right hand from Elliot's hand and gently felt around her left shoulder. She blinked several times and grimaced slightly as images flashed through her head.

"He was Hispanic, a sloppy goatee," Olivia paused, trying to remember more. "He tripped trying to clear that barrier, that little wall. I thought I was going to catch him then."

Casey continued to hold the phone to Olivia's ear and Erin listened, encouraged that Olivia was talking so well and remembering some details.

"You're doing good Liv," Elliot encouraged. "Casey said you were on the top of wall when she heard the shot."

Olivia took a deep breath and groaned, a sharp pain burning around her shoulder and down her arm once more.

"You okay babe?" Erin shouted.

"Just hurt some," Olivia grimaced, responding to Erin. She opened her eyes once more and looked towards Elliot. Another image of the perp shot through her mind.

"He was on his back-on the ground on the other side of the wall," she said.

"He must have fallen over when he tripped," Elliot said.

"That's when he yelled not going back," Liv said, the events coming back to her like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle.

"You're doing great," Cragen said pulling out his phone and calling the CSU. "We need to make sure CSU checked that wall and the other side of it for blood, prints, maybe some fibers or hair too," he added as he waited for his call to be answered.

"Colonel Mathison," Olivia heard Erin being called through the phone. Erin held up her index to the captain in her office. "Just a minute," she told him.

"I'm so sorry. I have to go. I'm late to a briefing, but I am going to talk to the general about taking some leave," Erin said.

"Erin don't risk your career," Olivia said emphatically. "I'm going to be okay."

"I love you," Erin said. "I'll call again as soon as I can."

"Fearlessness," Olivia responded, hoping to reassure Erin that although she was in a lot of physical pain she would be okay.

Erin chuckled momentarily. "I'm trying to be fearless. Love you. Get some sleep baby."

"I will. Take care of you and your troops. I have plenty of people here for me. Love you too. Bye," she said as a tear streamed down her cheek.


	42. Chapter 42

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I am not sure how many chapters this fan fiction story will be. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 42 of ?

#-#

Olivia awoke to the feel of Alex's lips softly kissing her forehead. She had no idea exactly what time it was, although she knew it was daytime from the thin rays of light that streamed through and around the sides of the almost completely closed blinds in room 334.

Olivia gazed into Alex's deep blue eyes and smiled. She reached for Alex's right hand which was resting on the side rail of the bed and squeezed it.

"Thanks for coming Alex," Olivia said still smiling.

Alex leaned down and pressed another kiss to Olivia's forehead.

"How are you feeling?"

"What time is it?" Olivia inquired softly instead of answering Alex's question.

"It's about 10:30 a.m. on Saturday," Alex said.

"And it's still 2012?" Olivia grinned. Alex looked at her baffled and concerned for a moment. "I know it's Saturday. My head hit hard, but not that hard."

"I guess you are feeling a lot better, smartass," Alex said as she reached with her left hand and tucked an errant wisp of hair behind Olivia's ear and then caressed her cheek with her thumb,

"I definitely feel a lot better than I did last night, but maybe that is just the meds. I don't know what they have juicing through me."

"Casey said you were remembering more about what happened," Alex smiled softly.

"Please tell me she finally went home and got some rest," Liv said almost exasperated.

"She did. She's coming back this afternoon though," Alex chuckled. "I know you hate being a patient and having people worried about you, but there are a lot of people who love you so you are just going to have to accept doting and help while you recover."

"They did another CT scan this morning and doc says my head looks really good, on the inside at least," Olivia smirked, "so in a few days hopefully the headaches will be totally gone…"

"And you still have surgery on your shoulder tomorrow," Alex interrupted. "Not trying to be a downer babe, but trust me-when I was shot my coracoid acromion ligament ruptured," Alex said pointing just below her shoulder. "It was no picnic. Your rupture is the coracoid ligament which is the interior ligament connecting the clavicle to the scapula."

Olivia frowned momentarily drawing a sigh from Alex. "I'm sorry," Alex added quickly.

"No Alex," Olivia said, squeezing Alex's hand tightly. "I was just thinking about you having to deal with being shot all alone," she bit her lip and stuttered slightly, "having—having to go through that recovery-it just makes me sad."

"I made it through," Alex smiled. "But I would have taken advantage of some help had I had it- but I did become much more nimble with my left hand out of necessity."

"Really," Olivia smiled.

"Yes indeed. Before you return my journal, take a look again at the last month of entries and I bet you will have a hard time deciphering when I was writing with my left hand and when with my right detective," Alex said grinning as she stepped away from the bed a moment to slide a chair over.

Olivia ran her right hand through the hair at the top of her head. "Yuck," she exclaimed at the feel of her hair. "I hope I get to shower soon." She closed her eyes trying to refocus on what she wanted to say to Alex, the out loud comment about her hair unintentional and spontaneous.

"Alex—I." Olivia was cut off by Elliot's entrance to the room. Alex stood up quickly and walked to Elliot pulling him unexpectedly into a full hug. "Thank you," she whispered in his ear before placing a chaste kiss on his cheek.

"Ok," Elliot blushed slightly. "You're welcome. I'm glad you're back."

"Me too," Alex smiled.

"Hey partner," Elliot said a little louder than Olivia's ears were ready to absorb, She gestured with her right hand for him to bring his vocal level down.

"Sorry," El said. "How ya feelin?"

"I'm doing better," Olivia replied. "So any updates?"

"Nothing too promising," Elliot sighed. "CSU didn't find anything usable on or around the wall. If he got hurt at all when he tripped, must have been just a scrape. Composite sketch is going to be on the mid-day news."

"What about the victim?" Olivia asked.

"You mean you?" Alex smirked. "The woman who identified one of NY's finest as the perp only had her handbag stolen."

"No?" Olivia questioned. "Shit, I think my memory is all back and …it's going to be hard getting this guy if she already positively ID a stand in cop and we have no DNA evidence. I'm guessing he was late twenties—maybe early thirties."

"And you said he said he wasn't going back," Alex interjected. "He's got to be on the run from something. How much and what was in the purse?"

"About 600 in cash," Elliot scowled. "She was a tourist. Only had one credit card, a Macy's, in her purse because she wanted to use cash for shopping so she didn't overspend. Husband made her leave the Visa back at the hotel."

"Six-hundred is definitely enough to get out of town and a few changes of clothes and more-if he is running," Olivia said.

"He has to be," Alex summated. "Even if he knew you were going to catch him when he tripped—to make the decision to shoot a cop—misdemeanor men don't do that."

"Misdemeanor men," Elliot laughed and Olivia smiled.

"Shut up," Alex laughed. "It hit me in midsentence that Liv said he was older. Maybe a younger guy panics and shoots not knowing or processing the consequences of shooting a cop-but a guy that age knows and decides anyway to pull the trigger."

"I agree," Olivia said. "A simple purse snatcher might have just dropped the damn thing once I yelled I was a cop, hoping I would give up the pursuit-hell I probably would have."

"Yah right," Elliot said sarcastically. "You would have yelled back to Casey to secure the evidence as you kept chasing." Alex nodded in agreement with Elliot.

"If it ever happens again, I'm just going to shoot the prick in the ass," Olivia laughed briefly, but then grimaced in pain.

"You okay?" Alex asked grabbing Olivia's right hand and squeezing it.

Olivia nodded. "Probably shouldn't be laughing yet-that made my shoulder hurt."

"And you probably need some rest," a booming voice from a petite nurse overtook the room.

"I just woke up a few minutes ago," Olivia protested.

"Didn't we already agree that you would be a cooperative patient," Alex said sternly, her eyes locked on the brunette's.

"You told me I would be," Olivia smirked again. "I don't know that I had a chance to agree."

"Liv," Elliot scolded. "Get some sleep. I have to get back to the house soon anyway-Dad wants me there to answer phones when the news comes on."

Alex leaned down and kissed Olivia on the cheek. "I'm going to go home and shower and I'll be back this afternoon," she whispered.

"Alex you have to be exhausted. Why don't you just go home and do what you need to do and then relax," Olivia said sincerely.

"I'm coming back," Alex smiled. "Not bringing a sleeping bag 'cause they won't let me stay-besides you snore-but I will be back."

Olivia objected to the snore comment with a scowl.

"You snore partner-heard you in the crib more than a few times," Elliot smiled. "All the way from my desk."

"Now I do want you both to leave," Olivia grinned.

#-#

Alex grabbed Elliot's arm once they exited the room.

"Have time for a quick cup of coffee?" she asked.

"Sure," he said. "I can give you a ride to your apartment too. I have a little time and it's on the way."

"Well why don't we grab a couple of coffees on the way out and we can talk on the way to my place," Alex stated more than suggested.

"She's doing well Alex," Elliot tried reassuring as they walked to the elevator.

"She is-better than I expected actually. Of course, even with the information you gave me, I still imagined every worst case scenario possible on the plane."

"I know she'll want you here before she goes into surgery tomorrow, but I think she's right you should just stay home the rest of today, get some sleep and try to get your body clock readjusted," Elliot said.

Alex grabbed the morning paper off the passenger's seat of the squad car.

"Page 4," Elliot responded instinctively. "Just a little blurb-guess it happened too close to deadline."

"But it says she was transported to Mercy General!" Alex exclaimed angrily.

Elliot glanced at Alex slightly perplexed as he pulled out of the hospital parking lot. "What are you thinking Alex?"

"Tell me I'm just being completely and totally irrational and overly paranoid," she sighed. "If he knows from the paper and then soon from the TV news that she is alive and where she's at…"

"I think there's probably no chance that he would come after her-but there is also no sense in taking any chances," Elliot said while hitting Cragen's number on speed dial.

"Thank you," Alex said. "I'm sure I'm being paranoid-probably a combination of worry and stress, what happened to me-and I am exhausted-but having an officer outside her room would make me feel better."

Elliot smiled after hanging up the phone with the captain.

"Dad was already one step ahead of us. Fin just arrived at the hospital with a patrol officer. Someone will be on guard 24/7," Elliot smiled.

"That's good-but does that mean Don thinks there is reason to worry?"

"No," Elliot stated emphatically. "It's Liv and he just doesn't want to take any chances at all since we have no solid leads yet on who our perp is."

"He would do the same for any of you," Alex retorted.

"I know he would and we would bitch about it as much as she is going to," Elliot grinned. "And since she is going to be protected and she needs to rest, especially before surgery tomorrow morning, you should too."

"I want to watch the news and then I will for a little bit, but you need to call me and let me know of any developments," Alex demanded.

"I will Alex. You'll always be part of our team—at least in my mind."

Alex extended her arm and squeezed Elliot's shoulder. "That means a lot to me. We have to get this guy before he hurts someone else."


	43. Chapter 43

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback. As you might notice (below) I am now guessing I will have four of five chapters left to write after this one to wrap this story up. I thank you all for reading. I never would have guessed when I started writing this that it would end up so long and more surprisingly to me that people would still be reading. I appreciate so much the support through reading and commenting. There will be a couple of one-shots or short stories after this one before I start on another long one. Thank you again!**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 43 of 47 or 48

#-#

**3 days later**

Dr. Orton had been pleased to find the tear to Olivia's conoid ligament was less severe than the CT scan and initial exploratory surgery seemed to indicate. Olivia had recovered from her surgery to repair the ligament well and was awaiting confirmation of whether she would be released from the hospital the following morning, three days after the surgery and five since she had arrived. Her headaches had all but disappeared although she still had a pretty sizable knot on the back of her head.

The earlier media coverage of the shooting had generated some potential leads but so far nothing solid. Munch and Fin had been busy exploring all tips received by phone while Elliot scoured databases for fugitives and escapees matching the description that Olivia and the tourist had given.

"I can! Bless you Dr. Orton," Olivia smiled at the news from the surgeon that she could shower.

"You're welcome," Dr. Orton replied. "But don't scrub in or around that area and don't make it a long shower."

"I promise. Sponge baths just aren't cutting it," Olivia said.

"Be careful with your head too, you still have a couple of staples back there," the doctor added.

"I'll wash your hair," Alex interjected. "Even though you have your good hand it is a challenge washing your hair with one-might be a great time to cut it short again," she smiled.

"Ladies," Dr. Orton smiled. "I have to continue my rounds, but detective as long as you have another solid night I'll be authorizing your release in the morning."

"Thanks doc," Olivia said and then quickly turned her attention to Alex. "So you really don't like my hair longer."

"You're beautiful either way, but yes personally I prefer it shorter-and it would be a lot easier for you while you recover," Alex smiled coyly.

"So what," Liv smiled, "this hair washing offer is only a one-time thing?"

"Maybe twice," Alex smirked. "But it wouldn't be good for your rehab to not become self-sufficient."

"I would happily settle for once a week," Olivia joked.

"Really-that's funny since so far you have turned down offers from me, Elliot and Casey as hosts while you recover," Alex grinned.

"I think the Stabler compound has enough occupants already. And Casey is going to be at work during the day anyway, plus she and Jeff need some time together-so that doesn't make much sense," Olivia reasoned.

"And my offer was rejected because…" Alex started.

Olivia sat up fully in the bed. Her previous smile replaced with a pensive expression.

"Alex, all my instincts and everything we know about this case, which I know isn't much, tell me the asshole is long gone, hell, probably took a bus to Canada or Mexico, but until he is caught-I just don't want to do anything that could put you at risk-and staying at your place could."

Alex paced a few steps, both touched and frustrated by Olivia's reasoning. She pulled up the chair she had spent many hours sitting in the past few days and sat down, running her hands through her hair trying to find the appropriate words to convey what she was feeling.

"So you're just going to be a hermit at your apartment and not allow any visitors 'til he is caught," Alex sighed. "And what about Casey and Elliot-you gave different reasons for not staying with them."

"Of course I wouldn't put Casey at-risk or Elliot or his family-I was just adding the other reasons I won't stay with them," Olivia retorted.

"I hate when you only tell me half-truths," Alex mumbled, but loudly enough for Liv to hear.

Olivia focused her eyes on the tiled floor for a moment as she struggled to find the words to express her feelings.

"Alex I couldn't bear it-I couldn't handle it if anything happened to you again. I know you don't blame me-but, but I should have seen that SUV coming around the corner. My instincts failed me then," Olivia blurted.

"Exactly how did your instincts fail you," Alex demanded.

"I believed that when you dropped the charges against Zapata and then the feds arrested him that he and Velez would leave you alone-but I should have known with what he had done previously and the brutality of it that…"

"That I should have known that Donovan would be killed for trying to protect me-you know how many fucking nights I cried over knowing that my bravado, that possibly my comment about Zapata's lack of sexual prowess was what really made him want me dead," Alex said, tears of anger and sadness pooling in her eyes. "You're right Liv-I should have known with Zapata not to make it personal-because he was bent on revenge against any real or perceived assault on his ego, even more than threats to his illegal operations."

Alex bolted from the chair and paced almost frantically across the room.

"Alex," Olivia said softly. "Alex it's not your fault."

"Damn it Olivia," Alex yelled. "Why is it not my fault that a husband and father of two was murdered, but it is your fault in your mind-and your mind only that I was shot."

"Because I'm a cop and usually a damn good one," Olivia nearly screamed.

"You know how fuckin' arrogant that is," Alex yelled back. "Yes, you are a damn good cop, and I'm a damn good prosecutor and I'm the one who made the mistake with Zapata-not you. But you know what Liv, you will never be a perfect cop 'cause your human like the rest of us."

"What the hell you two," Casey yelled bursting into the room. "I could hear your voices down the hall."

"Sorry Casey," Alex spoke first. "I'm going to go take a walk."

"Alex," Olivia called. "I'm sorry."

"I need some air Liv. We shouldn't have had this conversation now and for that I am sorry," Alex said grabbing her purse and briskly leaving the room.

#-#

"What were you two fighting about?" Casey asked Olivia.

"The past I guess," Liv said. "Started good with talking about me being released tomorrow morning-God Case, I just really don't want to talk about it right this moment. I really want to take a shower."

"Are you allowed to now?" Casey asked.

"Yes thank God," Olivia smirked slightly. "But I don't think Alex's offer to wash my hair is still on the table."

"I'll help you," Casey said grinning. "You really could use a shower."

"I know. I think I feel grosser than I look," Olivia smirked.

"Close call," Casey laughed.

#-#

Alex intended to walk off her anger and frustration and all the other emotions that engulfed her as the image of Agent Donovan's car exploding replayed in her mind over and over. She made it a block and a half from the hospital in her blazer, pencil skirt and three inch heels before she remembered she left her coat in Olivia's room.

The wind cut a chill through her blazer and blouse. She saw the awning for a pub and gill and picked up her pace deciding a glass of chardonnay was exactly what she needed. When she sat down on a stool at the end of the bar she changed her mind and ordered a gin & tonic, heavy on the gin instead.

She tried to steel her emotions as she rapidly sipped her drink, knowing that she needed to go back to the hospital and apologize, not so much in her mind for what she said, but when she said it.

"Jesus Cabot she was just shot five days ago and has a concussion and you're screaming at her." Alex mumbled to herself, drawing the attention of the bartender.

"Did you need something ma'am?" the bartender asked.

"Just my tab, please," Alex said.

#-#

Alex walked back into Olivia's room and could hear the water from the shower and Casey's voice. She was relieved that Olivia wasn't so stubborn to refuse Casey's help and laughed lightly when she heard Casey suggest loudly that washing her hair would be much easier if it was shorter.

Alex startled slightly at the ring of the hospital room phone on the end table near Liv's bed.

"Olivia Benson's room," she answered.

"Alex?" Erin asked, half-guessing. "Ummm, it's Erin."

"Hello Erin. How are things going over there?" Alex asked, fumbling slightly for words.

"Basically same daily menu of IEDs, RPGs and corruption," Erin replied.

"We all want you back safe. Listen, Casey is helping her in the shower, I don't know how much longer it is going to take," Alex said. "Oh she gets to go home tomorrow morning."

"Well that is good news-except I wish she would stay…"

"Would stay with one of her friends and let them help," Alex laughed.

"Yes," Erin said. "At least for the first few days or the first week."

"Well maybe you'll be able to convince her," Alex said.

Erin chuckled. "If you weren't able to, I highly doubt she'll listen to me-but what is it? All stubbornness she can take care of herself and doesn't want to be a burden on anyone?"

"You do know her well," Alex laughed.

"Alex," Erin said tentatively. "I know this is a bit, okay probably a lot awkward-but thank you for being there for her and everything you've done."

"Erin, I'm always-wait hold on they're coming out of the bathroom," Alex said. "Stay safe Erin."

Alex held the phone receiver up away from her ear. "Liv, Erin's on the phone. Case, you want to go get some coffee with me."

"Sure," Casey said as she helped Olivia back on the bed.

"Alex," Olivia called. "I'm really sorry about what I said earlier."

"I'm sorry about earlier too. Talk to Erin," Alex said softly.


	44. Chapter 44

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback. As you might notice (below) I am now guessing I will have four of five chapters left to write after this one to wrap this story up. I thank you all for reading. I never would have guessed when I started writing this that it would end up so long and more surprisingly to me that people would still be reading. I appreciate so much the support through reading and commenting. There will be a couple of one-shots or short stories after this one before I start on another long one. Thank you again! (And sorry for the long delay between chapters here)**

"Stepping Time" Chapter 44 of 46 or 47

#-#

Olivia awoke early the next morning alone in her hospital room. It was only 5 a.m., but still she felt refreshed having slept solidly through the night for the first time since the shooting and fall. She looked forward to sleeping in a comfortable, more spacious bed again and to any food but hospital food on a regular basis, rather than just snuck in treats from Casey and Alex.

She elevated the head of the bed and clicked on the TV with the remote. As she watched and listened to the beautiful early fall seven-day forecast she yearned even more to be released and wondered why she hadn't asked Dr. Orton exactly what time this morning she would be likely doing her rounds.

"Lord, you look like hell El," Olivia said as her partner walked briskly towards her bed about 30 minutes later. "You can have this bed in a few hours when I'm sprung from this place," she grinned.

Elliot remained stoic, his eyes puffy and stubble prevalent over his upper lip and on his chin.

"El, I'm sorry-what is going on?"

Elliot pulled up a chair next to Olivia's bed. "Buffalo PD might have got your shooter."

"Well that's good news. Are they interrogating him-what happened?" Olivia blurted.

"He's dead Liv. Suicide by cop," Elliot said softly.

"What? Why do they think it is my guy then?" Olivia asked.

"A very alert rookie cop who apparently studies all APBs, combined with a few things this Renaldo Reyes said before he was shot," Elliot said. "He was wanted in South Carolina on a murder warrant. He killed his estranged wife in a small town just outside Charleston three days before you were shot. His pick-up truck was found in a parking lot outside an Amtrak station in Norfolk."

"That all adds up so far with our profile theories," Liv agreed. "Prior record?"

"No," Elliot said pulling the 8 x 10 color photo from an envelope and handing it to Liv.

"He was a Marine," Olivia gasped, studying the photograph.

"Is he the man?" Elliot asked simply.

"Yes," Olivia answered. "With about as close to 100% certainty as I can be. Motive on killing the wife?"

"He came home from his fourth combat tour in June, found out his wife had been cheating on him. They tried to reconcile, and then just last week he saw her car at the other guy's house when she was supposed to be at work," Elliot said.

"His fourth," Liv commented.

"Three Iraq, one Afghanistan," Elliot continued. "He told a buddy about his wife at the other guy's house again-said he was going to tell her he was filing for divorce that night. Buddy said he seemed calm, but the next day Reyes didn't report for duty and his wife didn't show for work."

"Motive obviously," Liv responded. "What about physical evidence?"

"Talked to the detective down there too," Elliot grinned slightly. "Found out everything I could before coming over here. Liv, he was a sniper in the Marines. She died instantly of a single gunshot to the head from approximately 14 feet away. He used a .22 his Dad had given to him when he was a teenager. He left it on the coffee table next to the couch where her body was found-didn't even bother wiping the gun."

"He didn't want to kill me then," Olivia concluded loudly.

"I agree with you," Elliot replied. "But why do you think that?"

Olivia sighed. "It did happen so fast, but yet as I came to the top of that barrier it was like slow-motion. El, he did trip and fall, but he was still in an offensive shooting position from his back-and with his training and experience he could have easily put one in me where he did in his wife."

"Liv he went to Buffalo to see a buddy he had served with who had been severely wounded on a previous tour. He talked to him for hours before finally telling him that he killed his wife. He agreed to turn himself in so his friend called 911. When the officers arrived Reyes was sitting on the front porch of the house," Elliot sighed, "he pulled out a gun from under his pants leg and pointed it at an officer."

"And they had to fire," Olivia sighed.

"Just before he pulled the gun he turned his head towards his friend who was in his wheelchair on the left side of the porch and said 'Tell that New York cop sorry.'"

Olivia shook her head and buried her face in her hands for a moment. Elliot stood up and patted her good shoulder softly.

"Thanks El," Olivia moaned slightly, pulling her hands from her face. "You know in so many ways this would be easier if it would have been a habitual asshole."

"A habitual asshole and you might not be here to ponder it," Elliot smirked. "So now that you know this you're going to let Alex or Casey take care of you the next few days, right?"

"Hell, I'm not sure Alex is even talking to me right now," Olivia said.

"I am and I am offering fresh coffee in hopes of a better start to today than we ended yesterday," Alex hollered walking into the room. "Hey El, didn't know you'd be here so early or I would have brought you one too."

"Buffalo PD got Liv's shooter so I was just telling her she can give up her bullshit excuses of…"

"Hey El, thank you very much for all your work and coming over here-I appreciate it partner," Olivia glared and then smiled at Elliot.

"And on that note I'm going back to the house to brief Dad. Call me later Liv and I'll let you know if I have any more information," he said. He leaned towards Alex and whispered, "Good luck."

#-#

"So now that we know who your shooter was-and he obviously is no longer a threat are you going to stay with me for the next few days?" Alex asked after Olivia relayed all the information Elliot had given her about the late Gunnery Sergeant Reyes.

"I-I-I," Olivia started.

"As your friend," Alex stated, emphasizing the word friend, "I want you to stay with me-just through Sunday-cause Angie comes back into town Monday night and I know you…"

"Ok-I will and thank you," Olivia said sincerely.

"Damn did you have a lobotomy this morning," Alex joked.

"Hell you may toss me in a cab before morning," Olivia smiled.

Alex smirked and leaned back in her chair. "I don't know Liv. I already know that you chose not to tell me about your trip to D.C. and that you are with Erin and not me-and I'm still asking you to stay with me for the next few days."

Olivia ran a hand through her hair and looked up at the ceiling tiles. Alex noted the nervous twitches of Liv's upper lip and the tip of her tongue moistening her lower lip.

"However," Alex smiled. "If you have any other bombshells to throw on me, now might be a good time."

"Alex, I'm sorry," Olivia sighed, taking her eyes off the tiles and focusing her attention on Alex. "I didn't tell you about seeing Erin in D.C. because I didn't want to hurt you. She had no idea that she would be called back to the States-and she only found out like 10 or 11 days before it happened."

"You should have told me," Alex admonished.

Olivia nodded. "Alex-I was going to tell you about going to see her-about, about everything this past Sunday when-You know all of this and you are still…"

"Being your friend," Alex finished. "I can't tell you that while I was in Africa the thought of putting some serious distance between us-at least for a while-didn't cross my mind more than a few times-but as soon as I heard what happened to you-those thoughts disappeared."

Alex intertwined the fingers of her right hand with Olivia's right hand and massaged the top of it with her left.

"Liv, I'm not saying this is easy. My heart is hurting some-okay a lot, but it is nothing in comparison to what it could have been just a few days ago," Alex said firmly.

"You amaze me Alex," Olivia said, tears forming in her eyes.

"We've been through a lot and you're too important to not have as my friend," Alex said nearly tearing up herself. "Hell we've made more progress in our friendship-in just being able to really talk-and not run-in the past six months-than we did in all the years before."

"I always want you in my life too and I told Erin that-that I won't give up our friendship if you still would want that too," Olivia said.

Alex pulled back her hands, smiled and stood up. She laughed softly for just a moment. "And she agreed to that too?"

"Yes," Olivia smirked. "And she told me yesterday I should either stay with you or Casey for a few days."

"Damn, please tell me when this woman says or does something wrong," Alex smiled. "No," she exclaimed. "I actually want to know first how she gets you to listen to reason. Lord knows no one else before her ever has been able to on a consistent basis."

"Oh," Olivia smiled. "I don't think that is a true statement by even a preponderance of evidence-and…

"Good morning detective, good morning Alex," Dr. Orton projected loudly as she entered the room. "You about ready to get out of here?"

"I am," Olivia said.

"And are you going to have anyone to help you?" Dr. Orton asked.

"Yes, I'll be staying with Alex until Sunday if she can put up with me that long."

"I'll try," Alex smiled. "We still have a lot to talk about."


	45. Chapter 45

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback. As you might notice (below) I am now guessing I will have four of five chapters left to write after this one to wrap this story up. I thank you all for reading. I never would have guessed when I started writing this that it would end up so long and more surprisingly to me that people would still be reading. I appreciate so much the support through reading and commenting. There will be a couple of one-shots or short stories after this one before I start on another long one. Thank you again! **

**"Stepping Time"**

**Chapter 45 of 46 or 47**

#-#

Olivia padded slowly down the hallway of Alex's apartment only half awake but lured by the smell of fresh coffee brewing in the kitchen.

"Good morning," Alex called softly from her perch at the small table to the right of the island kitchen. She was dressed in a pair of faded jeans and a simple three-quarter sleeve navy blue V-neck.

"Morning," Olivia replied. "How long have you been up?"

"A few hours or so-how did you sleep?"

"Obviously good, thank you," Olivia smiled. "If the clock is right in that room it's nearly 11."

"It is. I'll get you some coffee," Alex said standing up and walking back in to the kitchen.

"Thanks Lex," Olivia said. "I can get it, you don't have to wait on me."

Alex smiled. "I'm just getting you coffee, not cooking you a full breakfast, but I did get some bagels and a couple breakfast sandwiches from down at the deli."

"That's even better," Olivia joked. "Then I don't have to do many dishes."

"Nice save Benson, so thought you were going to comment on my cooking," Alex said walking back to the table with a fresh cup of coffee as Olivia followed with hers.

"My head hasn't healed enough to take a slap upside it," Olivia grinned. "So do you have a lot of work to do today?"

"Not too much," Alex said looking up from her laptop. "I got a lot done already. Tomorrow I have a couple of meetings in the afternoon-well one meeting and a session with Dr. Southerlyn."

Olivia leaned back in her chair and paused. "Did you have the-the nightmares this time?"

"No I didn't. I think all my sessions with Dr. Southerlyn-and having Angie for a roommate really helped." Alex said sliding her laptop to the side. "Are you going to see your counselor about your shooting?"

"Cap'n wants me to meet with George, so I'll do that," Olivia said taking another sip of coffee. "I don't know Alex-between the concussion, the surgery and being so drugged up the first few days I haven't -I'm not sure-processed it yet," she finished pointing to her head.

"I talked to Elliot earlier. He said the gun Reyes had in Buffalo is likely the same one he used to shoot you," Alex said. "It wasn't loaded when Reyes pulled it in Buffalo."

"Definite suicide by cop," Olivia mumbled. "God Alex-why the hell didn't he just file for divorce? I'd like to see his 201 file, I bet El could get a copy for me."

"So do you think reading his military record and finding more and more out about him will help bring you closure?" Alex asked thoughtfully.

"I know I can't put it behind me without learning more about him. If he was just an evil thug, I'd probably just be satisfied knowing he's dead," Olivia said.

"Regarding evil thugs, along with helping to put Connors away, the file you gave me on him-I needed to read it for me," Alex said and then smirked. "I don't know how much of that is because I'm a prosecutor, but I know I needed as many pieces of the puzzle put together as possible…but I shouldn't have waited as long as I did to talk to someone professionally and also personally," Alex said holding up a flash drive. "Figured you might want to read about Renaldo Reyes-—you'd be much more comfortable on the couch-and there's a lot to read."

"Thank you Alex. And I will comply with whatever George thinks I should do when I talk to him," Olivia smiled.

"I'll go get your laptop," Alex smiled.

"Never surprised by your thoroughness anymore-but I so appreciate it," Olivia said fingering the flash drive and getting up to get more coffee and to move to the couch.

"Well you can thank your partner too," Alex called back on her way to the guest room to fetch Olivia's laptop. "A lot of it came from his work and research. Plus, there's one hell of a news reporter up there in Buffalo, very thorough article in the paper up there this morning."

#-#

Olivia sat on the couch reading the contents of the flash drive quietly. Alex had gone into her bedroom for a 30-minute conference call and then returned to her seat at the small table near the kitchen. After she finished e-mailing those on the conference call their action items from earlier she grabbed her laptop and padded to the couch.

"You doing okay Liv?" she asked softly as she tucked her legs behind her and leaned into the armrest opposite of where Olivia was sitting.

"I think he just snapped," Olivia replied. "He obviously had a lot of good in him."

"I think he did too Liv," Alex said placing her computer on the coffee table and focusing her attention on the brunette. "But he still murdered his wife and almost murdered you. He knew what he was doing."

"I agree he knew what he was doing with me, but I'm not so sure with his wife," Olivia sighed. "Finds out she is his cheating on him again-and then also what she had done to him financially. He stole the fuckin' purse just to get enough money to get to Buffalo essentially."

"I'm not saying I wouldn't have had any empathy towards him after reading all of that if I were prosecuting him, but even if I completely believed the murder of his wife was a moment of uncontrollable rage, a blackout-even possibly PTSD-then you still have attempted murder of a cop," Alex countered.

Olivia smirked slightly and leaned back into the cushion. "But counselor, this is where we disagree again. If you were prosecuting, I would be asking for you to reduce to assault with a deadly weapon. I am more convinced after reading all of this that sniper Reyes wasn't trying to kill me-he was trying to evade arrest so he could get to Buffalo."

"He could have just punched you then as you came over the wall," Alex argued. "He would have had an advantageous offensive position because of the barrier blocking your view of his exact location."

"True, but he tripped and fell which didn't allow him time to crouch next to the wall to hit me or toss me as I came over. And he knew I was a cop so he knew help would be on the way so engaging in hand-to-hand combat…"

"You're cutting this guy a lot of hypothetical slack. I wonder if you will still feel this way when you start physical therapy," Alex laughed.

"I don't know if PT will change my feelings," Olivia laughed. "But right now I'm just grateful to be alive-'cause I know he could have-that he had the time, training and experience to put that shot where he wanted," Olivia said, her previous smile all but gone.

"I am just kind of surprised how sympathetic-almost forgiving you are of what he did. I know we have both seen and dealt with some incredibly horrendous, evil and sick people, and I don't put Marine Reyes anywhere near those—but…"

Olivia stood up and paced by the coffee table. "I don't know Alex,' she started calmly. "I almost killed a completely innocent Marine a few years ago. I had a gun to his head. I don't know if it was the combination of the punching and the uniforms-I don't know but it triggered me back in the basement at Sealview. And I know I held my weapon to that Marine's head, but sometimes I can't remember it at all and other times when I think I am remembering it- I wonder if it isn't me just thinking I do because Fin was there-and he told me."

"Have you ever spoken to George or your therapist about that?" Alex asked softly.

"To my therapist, and Fin and I a few times," Olivia said. "This really helps talking and being here with you-I really do respect your opinion and want it and your insight on all of this-I'm not sure-maybe I'm idealizing Reyes a bit to cope and rationalize what happened."

Alex got up from the couch and padded towards the refrigerator. "Do you want anything to drink?"

"I would love a beer if you have one," Olivia said.

"What about your meds?" Alex asked.

"I'm only taking Tylenol-I don't want to do shots-a beer or two just sounds good," Olivia said somewhat defensively.

"That's fine, I'm getting a glass of wine," Alex laughed. She poured a glass of white wine and opened a bottle of Heineken for Olivia and returned to the living room. She set the drinks on the coffee table and plopped on the couch.

"So Liv-how would you feel about working with me again?" Alex blurted.

"I would love it," Olivia smiled. "But Elliot said yesterday that we probably have some hotshot, young thing named Hardwick-I think-coming in soon."

"She is young and she thinks she is a hotshot from some connections I have talked to-I give her four months if Liz doesn't get rid of her before that," Alex said. "Besides I only took a leave of absence and I've already talked to Liz about coming back in February."

"I want you back-and I know the guys and Melinda want you back too-but what about the task force?" Olivia questioned.

"That's part of the reason Angie is coming back next week. She wants to move back east-and she can take my position and I can serve in more of an advisory position," Alex said.

"Wow!" Olivia exclaimed. "I mean I guess I already knew that when you make a decision, you execute, but still-I don't know I was hoping you would come back at some point-but I wasn't expecting it."

"It's a little different this time Liv," Alex said taking another sip of her wine and then tracing the rim of the glass with two fingers as she held it above her lap. "Yes, I pretty much have all my ducks in a row…"

"Ducks in a row," Liv laughed. "That's a so un-Cabot like expression."

"It is not an ADA Cabot expression-oh just shut up-and let me finish detective," Alex smiled. "My point being, that I didn't talk with you and ask your thoughts the other times I made the decision to leave or come back-you deserved better definitely-and frankly the team did too."

"Like I said I know they want you back," Olivia smiled shyly. "But I think they would have the same question I have…"

"Would I stay this time!" Alex exclaimed and then laughed.

"Yes that one," Olivia laughed.

"It's the best team I've ever been a part of, even when I-well I know I definitely deserved the Ice Queen tag for how I acted and treated you all at times, both times I returned after witness protection. I was such a mess inside, and I was terrified if I showed any vulnerabilities, I would just breakdown into a babbling mess-find me rocking in the corner of my office in a fetal position or something."

"And I would have been there for you if that would have happened," Olivia replied.

"I know that now. And I think you know that is a two-way street now too-even though we both should have figured that out a long time ago," Alex said firmly.

"I can't disagree with you there," Olivia smiled. "So how long ADA Cabot?"

"Ok as much as I want to be part of the whole team again-this part stays between us," Alex said and Olivia nodded in agreement. "Until I think I can earn the DA's chair."

"I love it," Olivia smiled. "Welcome back ADA Cabot!" Olivia said raising her beer to toast.

"Cheers," Alex smiled.

"So as long as we are continuing on our trek of honesty and openness," Olivia smiled tentatively. "Any other motivating factors in Angie's sudden interest in leaving the beautiful California landscape you described?"


	46. Chapter 46

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback. As you might notice (below) I am now guessing I will have four of five chapters left to write after this one to wrap this story up. I thank you all for reading. I never would have guessed when I started writing this that it would end up so long and more surprisingly to me that people would still be reading. I appreciate so much the support through reading and commenting. There will be a couple of one-shots or short stories after this one before I start on another long one. Thank you again! **

**"Stepping Time"**

**Chapter 46 of 47**

#-#

Alex chuckled slightly at Olivia's question of Angie's motives and then took another sip of her wine.

"Angie is a very intriguing woman. She's smart, driven, compassionate, and absolutely hilarious," Alex said.

"Sounds pretty serious," Liv smirked.

"I enjoy spending time with her and I do like her…quite a bit actually…but I'm not ready for a relationship with her and she knows and understands that," Alex said grabbing her glass and standing up from the couch. "I'm going to get some more wine. Do you want another beer?"

"Sure," Olivia smiled. "One more than I need to shower."

Alex returned to the couch with their drinks. Olivia was playing with a frayed thread around the knee of her sweat pants.

"A lot has happened these last six months or so," Alex commented.

Olivia nodded, still playing with the thread on her sweats.

"A lot I never expected or would have predicted," Olivia said softly.

Alex walked briskly from the couch to her bedroom and returned quickly. She sat down on the couch again and moved Olivia's hand away from the errant thread before quickly snipping it with a small pair of scissors.

"Thank you," Olivia smiled slightly. "But I was kind of enjoying fiddling with it."

"I know," Alex laughed. "But you were driving me nuts and you were using it as a way to avoid eye contact with me. Just tell me what you are thinking and ask what you want to ask," Alex said.

"Ok," Olivia said raising her head and turning towards Alex. "So are you and Angie dating?"

"I guess that might be an accurate description," Alex said. "There is more between us…"

Olivia interrupted wanting, but not wanting to hear details.

"I want you to be happy Alex…I really do-I guess just neither of us would have thought just a short time ago that…"

"That we'd be sleeping with other women," Alex stated bluntly. "Not me."

"You definitely can cut to the chase Cabot," Olivia smirked.

"Well detective I do believe that is where your line of questioning was going…and I figure we have been able to talk through a lot…but hell Liv, I still have very strong feelings for you."

"Ditto," Olivia sighed. "I want you to be happy…but it will be hard to see you with Angie and not feel some jealousy."

"It has been really difficult at times with Erin," Alex admitted. "But she is a really great woman and she is good for you…and I told her that."

"You did?" Olivia asked surprised.

"Liv, early on, when I first met her I was wanting to pick her apart, find a fatal flaw-I'm human and I was very jealous-and I was mad at her because I thought if you hadn't met her until even a month later I would have already told you how I felt…would have already started discussing with you all the things…all the stuff from the past that we have talked about finally," Alex said, pausing for a moment to catch her breath and organize her thoughts.

"I can't say I haven't thought about the timing of when I met Erin either," Olivia confessed and then chuckled nervously. "But timing has never been one of our strong suits...even when we had some control over it."

"Not going to argue with you on that point Liv," Alex smiled. "I think a little part of me will always wonder what would have happened if we would have been honest and open with each other about our feelings…if we would have had a chance to go to my uncle's cabin before I was shot."

"I've thought about that a lot too," Olivia sighed and leaned back into the couch. "I think I would have screwed it up…and screwed it up bad."

"Why do you say that?" Alex asked curiously.

"Because I wanted you…but I didn't think I was in the same league with you…I would have run, I would have run before you had a chance to leave me," Olivia replied. "I would have been too afraid of you jeopardizing your career and your ambitions…of me possibly losing mine…and I felt that, I felt that even if we could have some hidden relationship…it could never be whole…never be complete because I never could feel comfortable in the same social circles that you are accustomed to."

"I'm sorry that I made you feel way that way," Alex said, a tear streaming down her cheek.

Olivia wiped away the tear with her thumb.

"Alex, you didn't make me feel that way…those were my perceptions…my fears…I would have sabotaged anything we got started because of those fears," Olivia said, now caressing Alex's cheek with her hand.

"That's not entirely true," Alex said grabbing Olivia's hand and pulling it to her lap. "I was so focused on my career. I told you that, you saw that…those regrets in my journal…hell I wanted to ask you out within two weeks of starting as your ADA, but look how long it took me…how long it took me to finally ask you to the cabin so I could tell you how I felt…Sure there was a bit of fear you didn't feel the same way…but mainly it took me that long because being with a detective…a female detective whom I worked with didn't calculate with my career plans."

"Alex, I understand that…my job until recently has always been first…been my almost my whole identity…and until I retire it will remain a huge part of me," Olivia said before laughing softly trying to imagine herself in retirement.

"I have a hard time imagining you as anything other than a cop," Alex smiled. "Maybe when you are too old to be kicking in doors you can consult on cold cases or something from the safety of your living room or porch swing."

"Something like that," Olivia smiled. "But saying porch swing just had me seeing myself at 80 with a cane and some frumpy clothes."

"Yeah, you probably won't need…or let me rephrase admit you need a walker until you're in your 90s," Alex laughed.

"Shut up Cabot," Olivia said playfully. "You know," she started, once again becoming serious. "I am really glad you are going to come back as our ADA…and you will make a great DA someday…hopefully someday soon."

"Thanks Liv," Alex said tucking a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear. "If it does happen it is going to be with me being true to myself. You know when I was younger I was thinking I could just marry the right guy for my career ambitions and if I liked him, even loved him, but wasn't in love with him that that would be enough. Now I know not only would that not be enough for me, but how selfish that would have been."

"Lord knows I am no example to follow when it comes to relationships Alex," Olivia smiled.

"I think you and Erin are going to do very well," Alex said softly. "That fatal flaw I was hoping at one point she had…I don't think she does. I think she is a very good woman who loves you very much and is good for you…and you are for her."

"I hope I don't screw it up," Olivia mumbled to herself, but Alex heard her anyway.

"You won't Liv as long as you keep the communication open and be honest with her," Alex said. "I know she makes you happy…I knew for sure that morning she called when we returned from our trip that you were in love with her," Alex said calmly.

"Casey told me that you told Angie that," Olivia blurted.

"Your body language, your smile, there is just a different aura about you when it comes to Erin," Alex stated as she got up and walked to the refrigerator for more wine and another beer for Olivia. "One more and then you can shower," Alex smiled handing Olivia the beer.

"I might enjoy retirement more than I think," Olivia smiled before taking a drink of the fresh beer.

"Well being able to work from home a lot will be something I will miss when I return as ADA," Alex said. "It's been nice to do a lot from this couch."

"It will be better to see you back in court," Olivia smiled. "I miss seeing you strut around the courtroom and the precinct."

"So you still like my strut," Alex laughed.

"I don't think I'll ever get over your strut," Olivia smirked. "There's just something, well a lot of things really special about you in those heels, those suits and those glasses…not like you don't look very nice now too."

Alex laughed.

"Shut up," Olivia scolded playfully. "I guess it is the aura…you're just a beautiful woman Alex."

Alex shifted slightly on the couch, turning her head slightly and looking directly into Olivia's deep brown eyes.

"So…you don't regret us being together…being intimate…having sex?" she asked.

"Oh God no," Olivia exclaimed, maintaining the eye contact and squeezing Alex's hand. "And it was definitely more than sex to me…Do you regret…"

"No, not at all," Alex said sincerely. "I don't think I could be mentally or emotionally where I am at, where I think we are at with the levels of trust and intimacy in other ways we have now without us having been together."

"That almost sounds like I was a disappointment," Olivia said nervously.

"No, no, no," Alex exclaimed. "I know you just had a concussion," she said trying to lighten the tone, "but think back Liv and you'll remember and I can tell you again now how incredibly good, hot and satisfying it was."

Alex stood up momentarily before taking a seat on the armrest of the couch.

"Probably good you moved," Olivia sighed. "I just really wanted to kiss you."

"I wanted to do the same," Alex smirked. "That's why I moved. This friendship only thing, like I alluded to, is going to be a work in progress thing for me."

"Maybe I should go back to my place," Olivia said.

"Not 'til Sunday, you just got out of the hospital," Alex countered. "Besides we have to learn how to navigate around these feelings we still have and the obvious physical attraction we both have."

"I know you are right…and I don't want to…"

Alex interrupted. "I can't go there…make love with you again knowing that you are with Erin, that you want to be with Erin."

"And I don't want to hurt you or Erin anymore," Olivia sighed.

"It wouldn't be a good outcome for any of us," Alex sighed. "As much as I believe…as much as I know there is between us…there is a part of you that only Erin gets…that you only share with Erin."

"I don't know exactly what it is," Olivia said softly.

"But it is true," Alex smiled slightly. "I don't want to lose what you and I have now and I am pretty sure we would lose it…and we would all get hurt. No matter how much you love someone it won't work for either when one is in love with someone else."

"I didn't want to hurt you Alex," Olivia said with tears pooling in her eyes.

"I know Liv," Alex said rubbing Olivia's right shoulder with her hand. "You fell in love with Erin, that's nothing to apologize for. You deserve to be happy…and I will find happiness too."

"I know you will," Olivia said wiping tears from her face. "You're pretty damn special and amazing Cabot."

"Thanks," Alex smiled. "Why don't you go take that shower? Use my bathroom since it is a walk-in shower, but let me know if you need any help."

Olivia stood up and pulled Alex into the best one-arm hug she could manage with the sling on her left shoulder and arm. "Thank you," she whispered softly.

"You too," Alex said softly.

#-#

Alex had just returned to the kitchen from knocking on the bathroom door to check on Olivia when she heard the brunette's cell phone ringing on the counter.

"Detective Benson's phone," she answered.

"Hey Alex, its Erin. How are you?"

"Doing well and pleased to report Olivia has been a cooperative patient so far…so no need to admonish her," Alex laughed. "How are you?"

"Hanging in there…just wish this DADT nonsense would get resolved for many reasons, but also so I would know if I am coming home for good in about four months or seven," Erin said.

"I'm hoping four," Alex said sincerely. "Liv is just getting out of the shower again."

"What? That's two times in a row now I have called when she's in the shower," Erin laughed.

"I know right. Hey, Casey called me last night and said you might be able to get some leave?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, mid-tour or a third-of-a-tour leave I guess," Erin laughed. "If they okay it, it will only be for a week including travel time, but I really want to come back."

"When will you find out?" Alex asked.

"Next week if it is approved. And I'd be coming back the second week of November," Erin said. "Thank you again for all you're doing."

"It is nice having her here," Alex said.

"Well given the circumstances…"

"You can buy me a drink when you're home on leave," Alex replied. "Maybe seems odd, but I really would like to get to know you better."

"Thanks Alex, I would like that. I would like to get to know you better as well," Erin said. Alex heard Olivia walking from the bedroom.

"Liv is walking out here now," Alex said. "Take care Erin."

"You too Alex," Erin replied.

#-#

**One more chapter and then the Epilogue. Thank you all for reading and the feedback!**


	47. Chapter 47

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

**Well this was to be the final chapter—but my muse had other ideas—and now I will be out of the loop the rest of today-so instead of one super long concluding chapter-posting chapter 47 and 48 will be the concluding chapter with an epilogue to come and possibly a sequel-will see where my muse leads me after writing an A/O story that I have in mind, without an OFC coming between Alex and Olivia.**

**Thank you all for reading. I never would have guessed when I started writing this that it would end up so long and more surprisingly to me that people would still be reading. I appreciate so much the support through reading and commenting. Thank you again! **

**"Stepping Time"**

**Chapter 47 of 48 (Epilogue to come)**

#-#

**3 weeks later**

Olivia padded into her bathroom, running a hand through unruly hair after a restless night of sleep. If work allowed Elliot was scheduled to come over at nine with breakfast in hand and at 1:12 p.m. Erin's flight was scheduled to arrive at JFK.

Olivia smiled at the thought of seeing Erin again in just a few hours. She pulled the strap of her white tank top partially down her left shoulder. Small scars from the bullet wound and subsequent surgery were barely visible now and her range of motion had improved to about 70% according to her physical therapist. She was hoping to be cleared for desk duty by the end of the following week, grateful that after Erin had to leave she could once again throw herself into her work.

Elliot had brought over some of the precinct's cold case files two weeks before so she could keep herself occupied. Mainly they had frustrated her as they were either ice cold, they had viable suspects but not enough evidence for a grand jury let alone a trial and conviction, or the statute of limitations had run out for some of the victims. She had already read everything about her shooter Renaldo Reyes and after several meetings with George and her therapist she had begun to move on mentally and emotionally from what she had rationalized was a tragic case for all involved.

Olivia brushed her teeth and washed her face then grabbed a sweatshirt from the top of her dresser. It was just about 8 a.m. when she settled onto the couch with her first cup of coffee. She turned on her laptop and the TV and was grateful she had a little time before Elliot arrived to enjoy her coffee quietly, check her e-mail and then shower.

The knock at her door a few moments later startled her slightly. "I guess breakfast delivered early is much better than no breakfast at all," Olivia mumbled to herself.

"Just a sec El," Olivia called getting up from the couch and walking briskly towards the door. "You're early," she continued, as she turned the deadbolt and began opening the door.

"Only about five hours," Erin smiled, black beret in hand and travel bag slung over her shoulder as the door opened.

Olivia pulled Erin into her meeting her lips with her own and moaning at the feeling of having her girlfriend, her partner next to her again. After a few moments, Erin pulled back from the kiss and smiled.

"Do you think I can come all the way in…still got that DADT thing going on," Erin laughed.

Olivia smiled and stepped back into her apartment allowing Erin to enter and then closing the door behind her. "God Erin, I am so glad you are here…sorry I just woke up a few minutes ago…I haven't even showered yet."

"You look great to me," Erin said wrapping her arms around Olivia's waist and pulling her in for another kiss and then another and another, each increasing with passion and intensity. As Erin's hands slid to cup Olivia's ass Olivia finally broke the kiss.

"I soooo want you right now," Olivia groaned. "but Elliot is bringing breakfast over here at 9."

"Do you think he would pick up extra for me?" Erin said placing soft kisses along Olivia's jaw and down her neck. "I'm pretty hungry."

Olivia drew Erin's mouth up to her face with a guiding finger under Erin's chin. "You are going to have to stop that if you want food," Olivia grinned. "I'll call El and tell him to bring…"

"I would love a sausage, egg and cheese croissant if he is stopping somewhere with breakfast sandwiches," Erin said.

"He is," Olivia said reaching for her phone. "I told him last night that I wanted bacon, egg and cheese and a blueberry bagel. You want a bagel too?"

"Yes please," Erin said removing her ACU jacket and hanging it on a chair at the small dining room table. Olivia finished updating the breakfast order with Elliot and turned towards Erin.

"Geez babe," she said walking towards Erin and touching her upper right arm softly with two fingers. "What the hell happened to your arm?" She lifted the sleeve of Erin's t-shirt further up her arm. "How far does this bruising go?"

"You want to take a shower with me and see," Erin smirked. "I know El will be here in a little bit, but I could really use a shower. I'll try to behave…besides I haven't seen your wound yet."

Olivia grabbed Erin's hand and led her towards the bathroom. "So you still haven't told me what happened."

"We had some contact while out on the road…I guess it is five days ago now. My driver had to take evasive action. It was a little rough riding getting through the area," Erin continued as she removed her boots and socks and then her ACU pants. When Olivia turned from adjusting the water temperature in the shower Erin was covered only by white bikini briefs. Olivia took a deep breath and studied her from head to toe, entranced by her beauty, but briefly aghast at the purple, yellow and orange hues that painted Erin's right arm and shoulder, her right hip, and left calf and knee.

"Babe, I'm okay now…just a little sore yet on my knee and calf," Erin said reassuringly in response to Olivia's eyes still scanning her body. "We hit hard into a ditch and then coming back out of it," she added while slipping out of her briefs and stepping closer to the shower. "C'mon and hop in the shower with me."

Olivia nodded and she shed her clothes and stepped into the shower. Erin stepped from under the spray to allow Olivia to warm from the hot water and to see for the first time the visible remnants of the wound from a Marine that almost took Olivia away from her, from everyone. She traced her fingertips over the small scars, before placing a soft kiss on Olivia's forehead and then pressing their bodies together as tears of relief streamed down her face.

Olivia pulled her in tighter, tears now flowing freely from both women. Minutes passed in knowing silence as they held each other while the water from the showerhead flowed down their bodies.

"I love you Erin," Olivia finally whispered softly.

"I love you too," Erin said meeting Olivia's lips with her own for a gentle, consoling kiss. "I guess we probably should actually grab some soap and shampoo now," she smiled.

"Yes," Olivia said reaching for the shampoo and handing it to Erin. "But you have to tell me the full story on how you got all these bruises later…and why you didn't tell me until now."

"It really wasn't as bad as I think you are imagining it," Erin tried.

"Hmmm," Olivia smirked. "Your girlfriend is a detective, did you forget that? So I know contact with the enemy means they weren't just throwing rocks or bottles."

"Let me wash your hair detective," Erin smiled before dipping her head to briefly tease a quickly hardened nipple with her tongue and lips. "Just couldn't resist," Erin said raising her head back up and smiling. "For the record, it was a poorly constructed ambush that led to a three minute engagement before the insurgents retreated. Only one of the vehicles in our convoy was even hit by small arms fire," she continued as she massaged the shampoo through Olivia's hair. "So just got bounced around a bit and the bruising on my knee and calf is a combination of hitting the radio and my gunner's boot…was trying to hold him in when the HUMVEE almost went on its side going into the ditch."

"I think you need a new driver," Olivia stated firmly.

"Babe, I'm okay…went to the little hospital ER we have at Camp Phoenix as ordered and they took X-rays of my shoulder and arm and an MRI of my knee," Erin said and then smiled. "All clear…just like a Weeble that had a rough day."

"So how many incidents like this haven't you told me about?" Olivia asked, rinsing the shampoo from her hair.

"The only other time I have been a 'lil beat up over there was my own fault," Erin grinned.

"Really," Olivia replied turning off the water and handing Erin a fresh towel. "How was it your fault?"

"Flag football…well you know it is football season now so when we can we play…and Specialist Raines has one hell of an arm," Erin said loudly as she left the bathroom wrapped in a towel to retrieve her travel bag. "Anyway I was trying to run under…track down the pass and I ran into and then flipped over a low wall of recently filled sandbags."

"And?" Olivia questioned.

"Just scrape marks on the palm of my hand where I tried to brace my fall and some bruising on my right hip and right knee. Had to brief a three-star the next day and I was so fucking sore…but I was determined not to show it because I didn't want my boss to nix me playing football."

"And when did this incident happen?" Olivia asked pulling on a pair of jeans.

"Two weeks ago," Erin smiled. "It's a great stress reliever…although it took four days before Specialist Raines finally stopped apologizing to me…her arm is kind of legendary at Camp Phoenix now. It was my fault though. I ran into the bags, she was throwing the ball away rather than being sacked."

"God I love you," Olivia smiled.

"I love you too," Erin said biting on her bottom lip. "And detective…you might have seen the sandbags…but you are just as competitive as I am...so no reprimands on my athletic endeavors."

"I think we need to both stay away from mini-walls or barriers," Olivia smirked. Erin nodded in agreement.

"My troops made a scarecrow in my likeness for Halloween and placed her at my point of impact with the sandbags," Erin laughed. "Raines was terrified I would be pissed, but I laughed my ass off. I have a picture of me with my likeness on my laptop."

"I want to see and I want a copy for my desk at work," Olivia said snagging Erin's hand and leading her towards the living room. "How did you manage to get here early by the way?"

"Caught," Erin started, but was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Hold that," Olivia said walking to the door. "Elliot wanted to know too. I'm just so happy you're here."

"Me too," Erin said walking to the kitchen to get a fresh cup of coffee.

#-#

**As I said above, there will be a concluding chapter 48 and an Epilogue yet to come. Thought I could conclude in 47 but my muse had other ideas and I will be unable to write anymore until tomorrow probably, so I thought better to put up 47 and finish it with a Chapter 48. Thank you all again for reading and your comments!**


	48. Chapter 48

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

**Well**** this once again was going to be the final chapter. But my muse once again had other plans, so hopefully 49 will be with an epilogue to come and possibly a sequel down the road-will see where my muse leads me. But definitely writing an A/O story that I have in mind, without an OFC coming between Alex and Olivia as my next story.**

**Thank you all for continuing to read. I appreciate so much the support through reading and commenting. Thank you again! **

**"Stepping Time"**

**Chapter 48 of 49 (Epilogue to come)**

#-#

"Welcome back colonel," Elliot said pulling Erin into a quick embrace.

"Good to see you again Elliot," Erin smiled. "And thanks for bringing breakfast."

"Glad you're here, but thought you weren't coming in until after lunch," he queried.

"Loving American Airlines," Erin grinned. "Thought I would have a six plus hour layover in Frankfurt after my military flight from Kabul…but we got to Frankfurt early so I checked to see if I could go standby on the flight that was leaving in about 50 minutes, and the gate agent not only got me on the flight, she put me in first class."

"That's good to hear," Elliot said sitting down at the dining room table. "They should take care of the troops."

"So El, Liv said you'd be open to downing a few beers and a re-match at the pool table," Erin commented as they dug through the breakfast bags.

"Absolutely," Elliot smiled. "Kathy would like to come too and Saturday night works best for us…but I know you only have six days including today before you go back."

"Are you scared of losing the re-match?" Erin smirked.

"No," Elliot blushed slightly. "I was just thinking that…well you know…that you two would want a lot of alone time while you're here."

"Well that is certainly on the agenda," Erin smiled. "But I would like to go out and see everyone too."

"Besides El," Liv said glancing at her watch and smiling. "I plan on kicking your ass out the door in about 21 minutes."

"I was thinking more like 15," Erin laughed. "But you did bring us breakfast."

"No worries ladies," Elliot smiled. "Even if I didn't have a meeting at 10…Hell, I'm surprised you didn't call me to tell me to cancel breakfast."

"We're hungry," Olivia smiled.

"That's true," Erin laughed. "And I do like you El," Erin added, patting his shoulder.

"But we'll let you know tomorrow about Saturday," Olivia said. "Will you check with Munch and Fin too, El?"

"Casey e-mailed me that she and Jeff are open Friday and Saturday," Erin said. "Liv have you talked to Alex recently?"

"A couple of days ago, why?" Olivia questioned.

"We've e-mailed a few times and I told her we would let her know what night works best for everyone," Erin stated. "She wasn't sure of her schedule the last time we e-mailed, but I know she wants to come."

Elliot sat quietly looking down at his breakfast sandwich in between rapid bites.

"Don't worry partner," Olivia said noticing Elliot's uncomfortable body language. "It won't be like the last time we all met at Humphrey's"

"I wasn't saying anything," Elliot smirked. "Just trying to finish my breakfast."

"Well when I talked to Alex she said that Angie was coming back into town tonight for more task force work and meetings and apartment hunting," Olivia said. "I told her I think Angie already found the apartment she liked."

"Okay, I'm behind," Elliot said looking at Erin and Olivia. "So Alex has a new girlfriend now?"

"They're just dating," Erin and Olivia almost said simultaneously and then laughed. "But she's moving here," Olivia continued. "And in the interim a lot of frequent flyer miles."

"So when did they hook up?" Elliot asked. "I only met and talked to Angie briefly at the hospital after you were shot."

"Safari sex," Olivia smiled. "When they were down in Africa."

"I just can't see Cabot getting it on in a tent on the African plains," Elliot inadvertently mumbled loud enough for Erin and Olivia.

"They weren't in a tent, I saw the pic…," Olivia immediately blushed knowing how the wording she uttered sounded. "I mean she showed me the pictures of where they stayed on the safari and pictures of all the animals they saw." Elliot and Erin were laughing hysterically.

"Please don't let her bring the pictures to Humphrey's," Elliot said, rubbing his eyes from tears of laughter. "I'll die laughing."

"And since we have only five minutes until we kick you out," Olivia started, smiling at Elliot. "Wanted to let you know that I'm sure she will bring Angie if they are available on Saturday night…but I don't know how she will want to introduce her to everyone."

"I won't say anything," Elliot said. "But she should know Munch and Fin wouldn't care either, they're just happy she is returning."

"Does Alex know officially yet when she is coming back as your ADA?" Erin asked.

"No, that's what we mainly talked about when she called a few days ago…it's a little sensitive and tied into how Hardwicke does with these next few cases," Olivia said.

"I like Hardwicke so far and I think she has a lot of potential," Elliot said. "I just think the best case scenario would be to have her as second chair to Alex. She could learn a lot from Alex and we certainly have the caseload to justify two ADAs."

"That would be the ideal situation," Olivia said. "Alex said it might come down to that with Gillian…with Hardwicke…she has told me to call her Gillian several times…but Hardwicke just sounds better to me. Anyway, they might work it so she is assigned SVU but floats to homicide for an occasional case. They see a lot of potential in her too…and that way she has an opportunity to build her reputation and not have her ego bruised by Alex coming back as lead."

"And whether you prefer to call her Gillian or Hardwicke just took up the last four minutes of my time here," Elliot smirked getting up from his chair and walking towards the door.

"Oh shut up partner," Olivia said following behind him to the door.

"Thanks again for breakfast El," Erin called as she was cleaning up the dining room table.

"You're welcome," Elliot smiled. "Do you want me to swing back in a couple of hours with lunch?" he joked.

"Uh…no," Olivia exclaimed playfully. "And not with dinner either. We'll call you tomorrow."

"You really need to get laid Liv," he whispered in her ear. "You're getting a little cranky."

"Its 9:31 partner," Olivia smiled.

#-#

Olivia slowly traced her fingertips down the side of Erin's neck, across her bruised shoulder and down her arm. The blinds in her bedroom were drawn close, but still the morning light cascaded through the room diming the romantic impact of the candles Olivia had lit.

"What are you thinking?" Olivia whispered as she gazed into Erin's eyes and inched her bare body closer.

"Mmmm," Erin grinned as she ran her eyes down and back up Olivia's body. "How beautiful you are…how it is going to feel to kiss your neck, then to tease your nipples with my tongue, lips and fingers…"

"I want that," Olivia groaned, inching her body across the silk sheeted bed until they were mere inches apart, both using their good hand, elbow and shoulder to prop their head up as they lay on their side.

"What else do you want?" Erin whispered huskily sliding her right hand slowly down her own bruised but sculpted nude body, tracing the exterior edges of damp curls with her fingertips. Olivia's eyes were transfixed on Erin's fingers and she clenched her thighs together feeling the throbbing at her core. Erin sunk two fingers between her folds thrusting inside herself and slowly tracing her clit with her thumb.

"When I get to do this in my little bed at Camp Phoenix," Erin moaned huskily. "I imagine your fingers inside me…sometimes two, sometimes three…sometimes taking me deeply and slowly...sometimes fucking me hard and fast…your thumb or your tongue on my clit."

"Do I make you come baby?" Olivia moaned, her breath ragged with arousal watching and listening to her lover.

"Oh yeah…always Benson," Erin whimpered as she began riding her own fingers deeper and harder.

"Fuck Erin…I'm going to come watching you."

"And sometimes I come imagining my fingers are inside you and it's your clit that my thumb is stroking," Erin moaned and then stroked the tip of Liv's nipple with her tongue. She guided Olivia onto her back with her mouth and then straddled her, removing her drenched fingers and rubbing her soaked center up and down Olivia's arched thigh. Erin pushed into Olivia's wet core with her thigh and Olivia pulled Erin's slick and coated fingers between her lips, sucking, licking and inhaling the taste and scent of her lover.

Erin slowly pulled her fingers from Olivia's mouth replacing them with her lips and a crushing kiss. She pressed and guided Olivia's thigh against the mattress with her center, adjusting herself to avoid putting weight on the detective's left shoulder. She extended her body, spreading Olivia's legs with her thigh. Olivia moaned at the feeling of their naked bodies together, digging her fingers into Erin's back as Erin entered her swiftly with two fingers. Olivia arched her hips off the bed eager to ride Erin's long, slender digits. Erin quickly trailed kisses down Olivia's jawline to her neck, sucking and then biting at her pulse point.

Olivia wrapped her feet around Erin's calf and angled her hips. "God Erin," she whimpered. "More baby please."

Erin inserted a third finger and began thrusting harder, faster and deeper, her palm slapping and pressing against Olivia's mound.

"You feel so amazing Liv," Erin sighed, moving her mouth towards a hardened nipple. "Come for me baby," Erin called as she swiped Olivia's nipple with her tongue before pulling it between her lips and nipping at it with her teeth. Erin curled her fingers inside Olivia, feeling her inner walls tightening and her hips bucking urgently for release. Olivia tangled her left hand in Erin's hair and dug deeper into Erin's back with her right.

"Erinnnnnnnn," she cried, throwing her head back into the pillow as the orgasm came crashing through her, drenching Erin's palm with her sweet juices. Erin placed soft kisses to both breasts, keeping her fingers inside her lover as she slowly came back down and relaxed into the mattress. Erin continued south with her lips and tongue, soft kisses on toned, olive abs.

"You are so beautiful baby," Erin sighed. Olivia, head still thrown deep into the pillow moaned appreciatively, still feeling her inner walls twitching slightly against Erin's buried fingers. Erin dipped her head between Olivia's legs, kissing her inner thighs and then lapping the juices from her palm before sliding her fingers gently from inside. She glided her tongue through Olivia's folds, pushing her tongue inside her, tasting her fully.

"God babe," Olivia moaned. "I don't know…"

"I'm just going to suck on your clit…softly…and slowly," Erin murmured. It was only a couple of moments later when Olivia wrapped her right hand tightly around the back of Erin's head pulling her mouth harder against the oh so sensitive bundle of nerves. Erin slid both her arms up Olivia's sides and then fingers from both hands squeezed taut nipples. Erin ground and rubbed her own soaked, throbbing center as deep as she could into the bed, yearning for her own release which she knew was so close. Erin flattened her tongue, stroking Liv's clit with long deep strokes.

"Fuck," Olivia hissed, her thrusting hips nearly bucking Erin away from her before the waves of a second release cascaded through her body.

"I love you baby," Erin said as she slid next to Olivia, wrapping a leg over her and pressing her slick center into a muscled outer thigh.

Olivia pulled Erin into a deep kiss guiding Erin as smoothly as she could, given her injured shoulder, under her.

Erin broke the kiss and looked up into Olivia's eyes. "Babe I want you inside me, but…"

"Shhh," Olivia smiled, quickly sliding her right hand between Erin's open legs. "I'm healing pretty quickly. I'll be careful…but God I want you," she said parting Erin's folds with two fingers and grazing her clit with her thumb.

"I need to feel you, be inside you," Olivia continued, biting and sucking Erin's neck as she plunged two fingers deep within her. Erin threw her head back, exposing more of her neck for Olivia's eager lips and tongue. Her hips rocking into each faster and harder thrust from Olivia.

"Take me Liv," Erin moaned. "I'm soooo close already."

"Look at me baby," Olivia commanded in a soft whisper. Erin opened her eyes. "You're here with me, you don't have to imagine…we don't have to imagine. I have called your name out so many times in this bed…getting off on my fantasies of having you here, being inside you, having you writhing under me…tasting you."

"Oh God Liv," Erin cried out. "Fuck me…"

"Harder," Olivia interrupted and plunged another finger deep inside Erin. "And my thumb stroking your clit in small circles with a little more pressure and a little faster."

"Yesssss," Erin gasped, her hips thrashing and the muscles in her abdomen and thighs tightening.

"Are you going to come for me baby?" Olivia palmed Erin's breast with her left hand as the fingers and thumb of her right continued working her pulsing core. Olivia took Erin's unattended nipple between her lips, lavishing it with her tongue while her eyes stayed focused on Erin's.

"Harder," Erin whimpered and then screamed as Olivia took her over the edge with a deep downward curl of her fingers and a quick bite to her nipple.

"I love you Erin," Olivia whispered relaxing her body fully into her lover, her partner.

"I love you too Benson," Erin smiled. "Very, very much."

Olivia brought her right hand to her mouth, sucking and licking her fingers, savoring the taste and scent of Erin. Erin wrapped her arms around Olivia's back and Olivia nuzzled into her neck, kissing her softly, both completely satiated.

Olivia reached down to pull a sheet and blanket over them.

"Babe, if you cover me up," Erin smiled. "I'm going to fall asleep for a while."

"And that's fine," Olivia said kissing softly along her jawline. "You have to be tired from traveling and the time difference."

"I am a bit, but if I sleep long then I'll be more screwed up with the time tomorrow," Erin reasoned. "Besides you're not tired are you?"

"Not really, but if you jump over here to my good shoulder, I'd love to hold you while you nap."

"I'd really like that," Erin said scooting over Olivia. "An hour max though," she added as Olivia wrapped an arm around her back and she snuggled into Olivia's chest and good shoulder.

"I promise," Olivia smiled. "I'll be getting hungry for lunch about then anyway…figure we can order in."

"Thai," Erin smiled.

"Thai would be great," Olivia smirked kissing Erin on the forehead and running her hand through long black locks of hair.

"That feels so nice," Erin sighed, eyes now closed. "I have to be in uniform all the frickin' time so basically the only time I can have my hair down over there is when I sleep."

"I love your hair," Olivia whispered. "Get some sleep now baby."

#-#

Olivia was close to dozing off herself about 30 minutes later when her eyes sprung open at the sound of light knocking on her door. She slid her arm from under Erin and squirmed as softly and quietly as she could from the bed throwing on the blue NYPD sweatshirt and shorts she had briefly worn earlier. The knocking had stopped but she could hear movement in the hallway as she neared her front door. She glanced through the peephole. "Holy shit," she mumbled to herself, smiling and opening the door.

"God Benson," Abbie drawled. "Your girlfriend's plane is landing in about an hour and you're just crawling out of bed now," she continued, patting Olivia's head with her palm. "You might want to fix your hair…what kind of pain meds do they have you on."

"Just ignore her," Serena smiled. "Our hotel room won't be ready 'til around two so we thought…"

"Come in," Olivia smiled. "Abbie you have to be quiet for a few minutes at least because my girlfriend is napping in my bed. American put her on an earlier flight, so she's been here a little over four hours thankfully."

"Ahhh," Abbie smiled widely. "That kind of bed head."

"And I'm down to Advil as needed for pain," Olivia smiled.

"Good," Abbie replied. "Then you can do some shots this weekend. Casey said everybody would be getting together Friday or Saturday."

"So Casey got you two to come up here. I love that girl," Olivia smiled, walking to the refrigerator.

"Well if we would have waited on an invitation from you…" Abbie retorted.

"Oh shut up Carmichael," Liv replied playfully. "Serena you want something to drink?"

"A water would be great," Serena answered. Olivia grabbed a bottle of water. "Heineken, Michelob, or MGD, Abbie?" Olivia asked.

"Maybe I want water too," Abbie smirked walking towards the refrigerator.

"Yeah right," Olivia joked. "It is after noon and you are vacation. How long are you two here?"

"We fly back Sunday afternoon," Serena said. "We both have plenty of vacation time to use up by the end of the year and we haven't been back here together in a while."

Abbie reached into the refrigerator for a bottle of MGD and grabbed the water from Olivia and walked to the couch to sit by Serena.

"And we wanted to see Erin," Abbie smiled.

"And see you, see how you are doing," Serena said looking at Olivia and slapping Abbie on the knee.

Erin awoke a few minutes later to the sounds of laughter from the living room. It took her a moment to orient herself and recognize the muffled voices of Abbie and Serena. She climbed out of the bed and grabbed a gray Army sweatshirt from her bag and slid into the black mesh athletic shorts she had worn before. She padded to the bathroom and brushed several times through her unruly hair. She took a swig of the mouthwash on the counter and washed her hands and face trying to fully awaken herself.

She felt truly relaxed and happy for the first time…well since their last night together in D.C. and she shuddered at the thought of what she would be returning to for another four to six months in just six days.

#-#

**Yes, as I said above I thought I could wrap this with Chapter 48 and an Epilogue—but obviously not (laurel hardy you know the muse had to make them make out)-so will try to wrap it with Chapter 49 and an Epilogue. My muse decided last night that Abbie and Serena should be back for the wrap too, and this is the longest chapter I have written (if you are still reading) so felt like this was a good place to chapter break.**


	49. Chapter 49

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

**Well this once again was going to be the final chapter. But my muse once again had other plans, so hopefully 49 will be with an epilogue to come and possibly a sequel down the road-will see where my muse leads me. But definitely writing an A/O story that I have in mind, without an OFC coming between Alex and Olivia as my next story.**

**Thank you all for continuing to read. I appreciate so much the support through reading and commenting. Thank you again! **

**"Stepping Time"**

**Chapter 49 of 49 (Epilogue to come)**

#-#

"Lord Carmichael," Olivia bushed. "Isn't it time to go to your hotel room? Serena you can stay as long as you'd like."

Erin pulled Olivia's back tighter into her chest as they sat entwined on the couch. "I'm really enjoying old Olivia Benson stories babe," Erin laughed. Serena sat on the opposite end of the couch and Abbie was almost fully reclined in the brown leather La-Z-Boy.

"Seriously though," Serena glared at Abbie. "We should probably go. We've been here all afternoon."

"I'm enjoying having you two here," Erin smiled. "It is great to be able to just relax and laugh so much."

Olivia turned her head slightly and scowled at Erin. "Not just laugh at 'ole stories involving you," Erin smiled and kissed Olivia on the cheek.

"Yeah Benson, I've shared some rather humiliating and embarrassing stories about myself…not to mention what my soon-to-be wife shared," Abbie retorted.

"Wife!" Olivia exclaimed.

"Yes," Abbie smiled. "Serena actually said yes."

"Abbie proposed on our three-year anniversary, on the 10th," Serena glowed.

"And you really said yes," Olivia joked. "Seriously though, congrats you two, that is awesome."

"Congrats indeed," Erin smiled glancing first at Serena's ring finger and then Abbie's.

Abbie noticed Erin's eyes on her hand. "Serena's favorite jeweler is here in New York, so along with coming to see everybody, we came here to do some ring shopping," Abbie explained.

Serena reached her hands behind her neck and unclasped her white gold with diamonds "V" necklace and handed it to Olivia.

"I was feeling pretty special and spoiled with that as a three-year anniversary gift," Serena beamed.

"It's beautiful," Erin sighed and Olivia nodded.

"Oh that part was easy," Abbie laughed. "We were at this incredibly boring fundraising dinner a few months ago and there was a woman at our table who had more silicon in her rack than that valley in California. When we finally could excuse ourselves from the table I was giving Serena shit for what I thought was rather obvious gawking at the woman's cleavage."

Serena interrupted laughing. "It was hard not to notice her breasts because I thought they were going to come out of her dress, but I was really looking at the necklace. I loved it."

"So I stopped the woman later and asked her where she got it," Abbie said bounding up from the recliner. "Who needs another drink? We'll restock your supply tomorrow Benson."

"I'll take another Michelob, please," Erin called from the couch. "So I want to hear how you proposed Abbie…details."

"Awww," Abbie blushed. "I'll let Serena tell ya." Olivia nodded at Abbie for another beer and Abbie gathered their beers and poured Serena another glass of wine.

"She totally blew me away," Serena sighed. "I only got us tickets to a Cowboys game on the 50-yard line."

"Not just a Cowboys game babe," Abbie smiled. "Thanksgiving against the Saints in Dallas. I haven't been to the new stadium yet."

"Well we were going to Dallas for Thanksgiving anyway so I didn't think it was that big of a deal," Serena smiled.

"Even though the Cowboys suck this year," Olivia cracked. "I can assure you, you did good."

"Cowboys are finding their way," Abbie grumbled. "It's early."

"Ladies," Erin admonished jokingly. "I want to hear the proposal story."

"Okay," Serena said settling comfortably into Abbie's lap on the recliner, glass of wine in hand. "First she took me my favorite restaurant…well actually that was after three dozen red roses delivered to my office."

Slightly embarrassed by hearing Serena speak of her romantic prowess, Abbie gestured for her to speed up the story.

"I want to hear details," Erin countered.

"I'm good with the relevant facts," Abbie countered, "but when Serena told her mother…it was what we had for appetizers, the kind of wine, how the entrée was…"

"Okay babe," Serena smiled. "After dinner she had a horse and carriage waiting for us and the ride took us by the Capitol, the Monument and then down to the other end of the Mall by the Lincoln Memorial."

"Very nice Carmichael," Olivia said sincerely and Abbie responded with a wink.

"Then we walked up the steps of the Lincoln Memorial…my favorite memorial and one of my favorite places to be," Serena sighed. "Abbie sat behind me on the top step as we took in the view and then she placed the necklace around my neck."

"So sweet," Erin said.

"Then she pulled me up and grabbed my hand and we walked back alongside Abe's chair," Serena smiled. "And our friend Paul and his partner Terry were there. I've worked with Paul, and along with being a superb lawyer he is a great singer and musician." Serena leaned over and gave Abbie an adoring peck on the cheek.

"Paul had his guitar and he started playing and singing '_When you say nothing at all_,' and we danced right there and it was beautiful…amazing," Serena glowed. "And as he was finishing the final few cords, Abbie dropped to a knee, entwined our fingers…"

"And then I did say more than a few things," Abbie kidded.

"Wonderful, touching things…and then she asked me if I would marry her," Serena and Erin both dabbed tears from their eyes. "And then Terry popped the bottle of champagne and we sipped from our glasses and celebrated."

"Well until the nice park police officer told us we couldn't have alcohol or glass there," Abbie smiled.

"I was glad the officer came," Serena smiled looking at Abbie. "I didn't want to be rude because it was so nice what Paul and Terry did, but I so wanted to get you home."

"I love you," Abbie smiled, pulling Serena towards her for a kiss.

"I love you too," Serena replied.

"So have you two set a date?" Olivia asked, wrapping Erin's arms tighter around her front.

"We're thinking late June or July in D.C.," Abbie replied. "We love it there…and well we can be legally married in D.C."

"You'll be back for good by then Erin, right?" Serena asked.

"I'm still hoping March," Erin said. "That depends on what happens or doesn't happen with Don't Ask, Don't Tell. Otherwise I am scheduled back sometime in early or mid-June."

"We're not even close to having details yet and we want to keep it up relatively small, but we want you two to come," Abbie said.

"Of course," Olivia smiled and Erin nodded her head in agreement. "Thank you."

#-#

"I truly adore those two," Erin said as they walked to Olivia's apartment after saying their goodbyes for the night to Serena and Abbie at the restaurant where they had dinner, more drinks and plenty of laughter.

"They really like you too," Olivia smiled. "And I know they are serious and sincere if you get the assignment at the Pentagon about staying with them while you look for an apartment."

"The Army could put me in temporary quarters while I looked, but it would be a hoot staying with those two for a week or so," Erin replied.

"You think you would find a place that quickly?" Olivia asked curiously.

"Well I know the areas I would consider and would just need a 12 or 15 month lease in a place that would allow Petraeus," Erin said and then paused. "I guess I am just trying to keep it simple, because I don't know what is going to happen," Erin sighed.

Olivia pulled the keys from her coat pocket and unlocked the apartment door. "But you do still want that position if DADT ends right?"

Olivia hung up her coat and the coat she let Erin borrow. "I do," Erin said rubbing her hands up and down her chilled arms, "but truth be told if it didn't mean staying in Afghanistan about another three months I would turn down the position in D.C. and come back to Fort Hamilton."

"You're cold," Olivia said wrapping her arms around her and pulling her close.

"It's still a bit warmer over in Kabul and I am getting pretty tired," Erin said, placing a gentle kiss on Olivia's lips. "Do you still feel the same way about the position in D.C.?"

"I would much prefer you out of Afghanistan in March, back here in the States. If you could leave Kabul in March for either position…yeah selfishly I would want you here…for us to be together and wake up together…"

"That's what I want too," Erin breathed huskily before crashing her lips into Olivia's and sliding her hands down to the buckle of her belt on her jeans. Olivia moaned and pressed her thigh between Erin's legs and into her core. Erin grinded into Olivia's thigh, her breath becoming rapid as Olivia sought out her neck with her lips and tongue.

"Bedroom," Olivia moaned between kisses.

#-#

Olivia awoke Saturday morning with her head still resting comfortably on Erin's shoulder. She placed a soft kiss on her lover's neck. As she opened her eyes fully she focused on the mark she had put during their lovemaking the night before just above Erin's right breast.

It was the third consecutive morning she had awoken with Erin and although there were three more mornings before she had to leave again, Olivia was already dreading the impending separation. Erin stirred slightly before awakening and opening her eyes.

"Mmmmorning," Erin smiled, running her fingers down Olivia's back and pulling her closer. "I'm really loving waking up in your bed with you each morning."

"That's what I was just thinking too," Olivia smiled. "I just wish…"

"I know," Erin interrupted. "I wish I didn't have to go back too."

Olivia pressed her lips to Erin's briefly, smiling. "Yes, that's very true," Olivia said, her mouth hovering just above Erin's and her brown eyes locked with Erin's. "But what I was going to say…well I want to have our bed," she stuttered a bit nervously. "I mean I know it doesn't make any sense right now…and Jeff is in your place."

"I love you Olivia Benson," Erin smiled. "And I really like…I love thinking of our bed, our place."

#-#

Alex stood up and stretched her arm up, waving her hand to get Erin's attention. Erin walked towards Alex at the back of the tiny Mexican restaurant. They stood awkwardly unsure on how to greet each other, before Alex patted her on her leather clad shoulder.

"Thanks for coming," Alex smiled, sliding into her side of the booth.

"I'm glad you wanted to get together," Erin smiled, hanging the leather jacket on a hook on the exterior of the booth before taking a seat.

"That looks like Liv's jacket," Alex commented.

"It is," Erin blushed slightly. "I don't have many civilian clothes in Afghanistan and yesterday when we went to my house, I just got a few to get me through the next few days. Didn't expect it to be so cold today."

"I'm sorry," Alex said. "I wasn't meaning anything…anyway the margaritas here are really good…if you like margaritas. I know it is a little hole in the wall, but great food and drinks."

"I do like margaritas," Erin said. "That sounds good…and I like places like this."

They spent their first margaritas discussing the weather and then generalities about their work. But as they continued with more specifics on why they pursued their chosen careers and what might lay ahead for each of them career-wise the conversation began to flow easily and comfortably. They were both smart women. Both very driven and both incredibly witty.

"You know, I really didn't want to like you not so long ago," Alex admitted as she sipped her second margarita.

"I may be only military police," Erin smiled, "but yeah I figured that out…and I have to admit I was hoping early on you would fall in love with Africa and become the Jane Goodall of zebras or hippos."

"I enjoyed the safari, but…"

"I heard you did," Erin retorted and Alex blushed slightly.

"Shit, I didn't mean to say that out loud," Erin replied.

"Yes you did Mathison," Alex laughed. "And for the record I did hope for orders for you…but never for Afghanistan or Iraq."

"So if Alexandra Cabot would have been generating the orders at DOD where would I have been?' Erin grinned.

"I thought three years at Fort Wainwright would suffice," Alex smirked.

"Alaska is really pretty, but I would prefer to visit," Erin replied smiling.

"I'm an officer of the court so I don't believe in cruel and unusual punishment," Alex retorted. "Alaska has some perks."

"If you really disliked me then, you would have said Fort Polk."

"I don't even know where Fort Polk is" Alex said.

"Louisiana," Erin smiled. "I think they filmed Deliverance there or they should have."

They both laughed and Erin ordered a beer and Alex switched to a glass of wine.

"I'm looking forward to meeting Angie at Humphrey's tonight," Erin said.

"She already likes you a lot," Alex smirked and Erin arched a curious eyebrow. "Well, if Liv wasn't in love with you, Angie and I wouldn't have started seeing each other."

"I can see why Angie would want to be with you and why you are so important to Olivia," Erin responded sincerely.

"And I knew enough of and about you before meeting with you here, to know that you are good…and you and Olivia are very good together," Alex said. "You make her very happy. I wanted to be the one to do that," Alex paused briefly. "And maybe at one point, before a lot of different things happened…well you can't step time."

"I understand," Erin said. "You know, think of the group we've got getting together tonight… cops, prosecutors, and military. We've all seen and experienced our share…and as much as I hate it sometimes, and as much…" Erin smirked and took a sip of beer. "I guess I just couldn't see any of us being bankers or working on Wall Street."

Alex smiled and then began to laugh. "Oh my, I just pictured Munch as a bank teller. Fin, Liv and Elliot as security guards."

"We probably wouldn't have many customers," Erin laughed.

"Hey Erin," Alex said seriously as they got up from the booth and headed towards the exit. Erin stopped and looked directly at Alex. "I'm sure it's dangerous enough in Kabul," Alex continued, "please well, just be careful. Olivia needs you back here."

"Thanks," Erin said softly. "I'm not taking any unnecessary risks…not any."

#-#

"I guess they did have a very good conversation today," Casey spoke directly towards Olivia's ear to overcome the noise at Humphrey's. "They're up two games to one over Jeff and Elliot and talking some serious smack. I didn't know Cabot was such a pool shark."

"Yeah," Olivia smirked. "And they're united on not allowing me to play because of my shoulder."

"They're right," Casey smiled. "Alex would be the one hearing you bitch, piss, and moan about not being able to go back to desk duty next week and you'd be whining about it to Erin via e-mail."

"Shut up," Olivia joked before pulling Casey in for a hug.

"What was that for?" Casey grinned.

"For knocking on my door that afternoon after Warner was shot," Olivia smiled. "A lot has happened since then and so much of it good. And tonight is a far cry from…"

"The last time we were all here," Casey smirked.

Casey looked towards the pool table and saw Erin, Alex, Jeff, and Elliot all laughing. Olivia followed Casey's eyes to the other end of the table where Abbie and Serena were engrossed in conversation with Angie and Munch. Kathy, Melinda, George and Fin were leafing through the karaoke list trying to determine their next duet pairings and song choices.

"I love these people," Casey said.

"Me too," Olivia sighed. "Me too."

#-# #-#

**Epilogue to come.**

**Thank you all so much for reading and your reviews!**


	50. Chapter 50

Set after Season 11, Episode 24 "Shattered"

**The main characters of Law and Order SVU belong to Dick Wolf and NBC Universal. This is meant for entertainment, not profit.* There are several characters I have created. I hope you enjoy, and I welcome feedback.**

**Well Epilogue time. I'm very hopeful on DADT repeal and I've missed a lot of the characters and storylines from Stepping Time.**

**I am a bit curious if anybody knows, but since I wrote the last chapter on 10/26 (Chapter 49), Chapter 21 has consistently been outpacing all other chapters of this story in hits and visitors by almost a 3 to 1 margin. I read Chapter 21 again assuming it must have been one of the "smut" chapters, but no, just a transitional chapter. Heck, it could just be one person who really, really likes or dislikes that chapter and keeps going back to it day after day-but it has me perplexed.**

**I appreciate so much the support of all those who read and commented along the way and those who have read Stepping Time since I finished Chapter 49. Thank you again! **

**"Stepping Time"**

**Epilogue (Sequel to come)**

"I think this is worse than being a kid waiting to open presents Christmas morning," Olivia muttered.

"But just like Christmas, you know it's good," Casey said, patting Olivia on the knee as they sat on Olivia's couch, Olivia's laptop with Skype open, resting on the coffee table in front of them.

"And you got a very nice Christmas present early," Olivia smiled, looking at the engagement ring on Casey's finger again.

"Yes she did," Alex smiled. "Liv it's only 5:12. Erin's e-mail said Skype around 5, but more importantly that she'll be home in six weeks."

"I know," Olivia agreed. "It's just last weekend when she was supposed to call she got called out on a mission and then when she did call finally I was at a crime scene."

"You need another beer. Casey you want another rum and Coke?" Alex said, walking to the kitchen.

"Sure, thanks Alex. Just focus on the positive Liv. Six more weeks and she'll be calling soon," Casey said. "Alex when does Angie get back from her trip again?"

"Eight days," Alex said, placing the drinks on the coffee table and taking a seat on the couch.

"Do you regret coming back as ADA now that Angie basically has your previous position…you know…with all the travel?" Casey asked.

"Angie is in a similar position, but not the same, and when she is gone she'll mostly be going to The Hague, since it is the ICC seat," Alex said. "So when I do have vacation time, I certainly won't mind tagging along with her to the Netherlands."

"I've never been to The Hague, but Amsterdam is one of my favorite cities," Casey said.

"And although were exclusive now," Alex started. "I think it is good that I have my career here and she has hers and travels some. That doesn't sound right. Things are good, really good between us. I just am trying not to rush this with her."

"Did she find an apartment here yet?" Casey asked and Olivia nearly choked on her beer with laughter.

"Shut up," Alex said, playfully slapping Olivia on the shoulder. "She's closing on it when she gets back next week."

"It's in Alex's building, three floors below hers," Olivia grinned.

"But it is also a very good deal with this economy," Alex countered. "A solid investment. Besides what would be the point of her getting an apartment 20 or 40 blocks away when…"

"When you're always together when she's not traveling," Olivia interrupted. "Which was my point on why she should just move in with you."

"Hey smartass," Alex rebuked. "If we do move in together at some point than there will be an apartment for you and Erin to lease from us. See what good friends we are."

"We have talked about getting a place together," Olivia replied. "But since she is coming home in six weeks…six weeks," Olivia smiled. "I guess that means I'll be making a lot of trips to D.C. I'm sure by the time she retires and comes back to New York for good you and Angie will probably have a house in the 'burbs."

#-#

"Can you see me and hear me okay?" Erin asked.

"Yep, and I've got the mini-speakers attached so we can all hear. You look exhausted babe," Olivia said, looking at Erin on the laptop screen, her ACU jacket off, dog tags and Fearlessness pendant hanging on the outside of her t-shirt and ACU pants un-tucked from boots partially laced.

"Nice way of telling me I look like hell," Erin joked. "Hey Case, hey Alex. Casey I can only see half your face…you need to scoot closer."

"So you are really coming home in six weeks?" Olivia asked.

"I don't have orders in hand yet…but I had a meeting with my colonel and the general here earlier today…that was after a conference call with Senator Rushing and the general…so timeline is in place for six weeks," Erin said.

"We're going to throw you one hell of a welcome home party," Casey smiled.

"Much rather be drinking an alcoholic beverage with you all now, but cheers to that," Erin said, lifting up a can of Dr. Pepper and toasting across cyberspace. "My replacement is coming from Germany and she got her orders yesterday to be here in four weeks."

"So Rushing and the brass are obviously confident DADT repeal will go through during this lame duck session," Alex commented.

"With the study out now, a couple of Republican senators on the record now to vote for repeal and the fear of the Courts taking the action…it seems highly likely," Erin said. "If for some reason it doesn't lame duck or early next year, they'll probably just stick me in some other vacancy at the Pentagon."

"So no chance of coming back to Fort Hamilton?" Olivia asked.

"Of the contingencies that they believe aren't likely to happen anyway, Hamilton wasn't mentioned," Erin said. "I just liked that no contingencies involved staying here until June."

"I totally agree. Just want you out of there and back in the States," Olivia said.

"So Casey…do you have any news you want to share with me…or maybe you should just hold your left hand up so I can see," Erin said.

"I thought I was going to surprise you," Casey laughed.

"It looks great…so be honest…is it one you would have picked? I don't even know how many pictures of rings Jeff sent me last month to look at," Erin grinned.

"You did very well in advising him," Casey said. "I should have known he would consult you on this. Did he ask you how he should propose too?"

"No, just wanted help with the ring selection. And congrats Alex on the impending elevator move," Erin smiled and Casey and Olivia laughed. "Liv's become quite the e-mail informant as the months have progressed. I'm happy for you and Angie."

"Thanks," Alex smirked. "We were just talking about when you two are going to get a place together."

"Definitely on the to do list," Erin smiled. "Hey Casey, I know you've only been engaged about 72 hours, but now that I know I'm going back, but not to New York, when Jeff gets back from his trip I guess we'll need to figure out if you all want to keep renting my house."

"You're still going to get some leave before you have to go to D.C., right babe?" Olivia questioned.

"Just a little. I guess only four or five days. Their thinking is that they need me in D.C. and I'm getting out of here over a month earlier than what was discussed originally with this position," Erin said. "Serena and Abbie gave me an agent to contact in D.C. a few months ago. I need to get on that to find an apartment to rent."

"Carmichael told me that she has been trying to keep you entertained with e-mails," Alex added.

"Oh Lord," Erin howled. "I read and delete, but I told her to save all the ones she has sent to me. I want to print them out and put them in…I don't know…like a deployment scrapbook. I got a package from her and Serena earlier this week, and I was scared to open it."

"What was in it?" Casey inquired.

"I think most of the stuff was Serena's doing, cookies and candy and stuff," Erin said. "But hold on you got to see the t-shirt Abbie had made for me."

"Do Ask, Do Tell Official "Hottie" Spokesperson," Casey laughed reading the wording on the front of the t-shirt.

"They don't search the packages you're sent do they?" Alex asked.

"No, not usually…and besides the general and my colonel here know that I am not being selected for the position at the Pentagon just based on my military record," Erin said. You got to see the back too," Erin added turning the t-shirt around.

"Colonel E'HT2,'" Olivia laughed. "Why the two, it's just E'HT'?"

"Because according to Carmichael's note she is the original hot Texan of the group, so I have to be hot Texan two. I e-mailed and told her I would just tell everyone I'm two because she is older, even though I'm two years older than she is," Erin smiled. "She even had the full-bird rank screen printed on the front."

"Speaking of that," Casey said. "You'll be back now before you pin on colonel in March. Are you going to have Liv and Jeff pin you?"

"Well that was subtle Novak…I'm cutting her off," Alex laughed. "Dr. Pepper for you now too, Casey."

"Why yes, I was going to ask my girlfriend and Jeff to pin me as soon as I asked Liv and Alex to be two of your bridesmaids Novak," Erin cracked and Alex and Olivia laughed.

"I'm so sorry Erin," Casey blushed.

"Luv ya Case," Erin grinned, and while they were all relaxed and laughing Erin decided it might be best to try and downplay an upcoming mission. "Hey babe, I've got a 'lil in country trip coming up. Not sure of the details yet…and of course couldn't reveal anyway…but I won't be able to call and I'm not sure how much I'll be able to get to e-mail."

"How long are you going to be out?" Olivia asked, her laughter from moments ago replaced with a solemn expression.

"Don't know for sure, but around two weeks," Erin said casually. "And maybe it'll make the final six weeks go by faster for me."

"Nice try," Olivia smirked sarcastically.

"When Olivia's not working her dangerous job," Alex said, "we'll keep her busy and entertained."

"Thanks Alex and good point. You know I worry about you and all the shit you have to deal with it when you're out there, Liv" Erin said, popping some M&M's in her mouth. "I'll still have quite a few years to worry about you while you're working. Only six more weeks and my all-expenses paid trips to war zones will be over."

"I know babe…I was just hoping since you are so close to coming home…maybe you would be staying in at Camp Phoenix the rest of the time," Olivia said. "And I know you can't discuss, but I can tell…"

"Ok, I certainly didn't volunteer…but I have to do it," Erin sighed. "But once I finish this upcoming gig, I should be here at Phoenix and sleeping in my beautiful 'lil quarters the rest of the time in country, transitioning to my replacement. Can you guys see the wall next to my bed? I've got a lot of pictures tacked up from when we were all at Humphrey's the last time?"

"Can't really make them out," Alex said. "But that was a great night. Do you want you're welcome home party there or somewhere a little more upscale, maybe?"

"Humphrey's is great…besides if Abbie and Serena come up…Carmichael would probably get us all tossed from a fancy place," Erin smirked. "I was talking to one of my troops in here the other day…she's going through a time…and anyway she was looking at all the pictures, well the ones I could put up…and she asked if Abbie was my sister."

"I still think you two might be long lost cousins or something," Casey said.

"I told my troop at first, Abbie was just some obnoxious woman who kept jumping into all our pictures," Erin said. "So what do you all have planned for the rest of your evening?"

"Drinking, eating and watching movies," Casey said.

"I'm not even on call this weekend. Are you getting anything resembling a day off tomorrow?" Olivia asked.

"Almost, doing a couple media escorts and interviews, but all inside Phoenix. I probably should get going though. I'm running on four hours sleep and I have to be up in six and a half," Erin said glancing at her watch. "I really need a shower too…good thing you can't smell on Skype yet."

"Erin, Casey and I are going to go look through some delivery menus. It was great talking to you again. Take care of yourself," Alex said sincerely.

"Thanks a lot Alex. Tell Angie I said hello. And Case, I'll try and call you and Jeff before I go out. He gets back Wednesday right?"

"Wednesday evening," Casey said. "I'll talk to him tomorrow though and we'll e-mail before you then. Be safe."

"I will and congrats again," Erin smiled. "Liv, I should be able to call you tomorrow night too, but I will definitely call again before I go out on that little excursion next week. I love you babe."

"I love you too," Olivia said softly. "I am thrilled it is just six more weeks."

"Me too," Erin said pulling off her boots and unbuckling her belt.

"You can keep going," Liv smiled. "I am very happy to sit here and watch…"

"Didn't you say I looked like hell," Erin smirked, tossing off her t-shirt.

"No, I said you looked exhausted…but you're still sexy as hell," Olivia countered.

"Skype sex, maybe we should go pick the food up," Alex laughed as she and Casey perused menus in the kitchen.

"Would be pretty hot though," Casey commented, drawing shocked laughs from Alex and Olivia.

"I didn't hear what Casey said," Erin complained.

"She's a lightweight, the drinks are already sliding her Kinsey Scale into Skype sex," Olivia laughed.

"Oh cut her off…that is so wrong, she's like a little sister to me," Erin shouted. "On that mood killer…I'm really going to go take my shower now and get some sleep. Have fun tonight ladies."

"We will," Alex and Casey yelled.

"Good night gorgeous," Erin said softly. "Love you."

"Get some sleep babe. I love you."

Olivia got up from the couch and padded to the kitchen and grabbed a fresh beer.

"Thanks so much for being here you two," Olivia said after taking a long drink of her beer. "That's the second longest call we've been able to have and I love when she calls…it just always sucks for a little while after they end."

"It's almost over Liv," Alex said reassuringly, pulling Olivia into her arms and hugging her tightly.

"Thanks Lex," Olivia whispered. "You're an amazing friend."

"So are you," Alex said, kissing her softly on the cheek. "And you have an equally amazing girlfriend."

#-#-#-#-#

**I will be starting the sequel to Stepping Time soon and my muse has a lot of ideas, but as an upfront disclaimer, the ideas do ****not**** include having Olivia leave Erin for Alex. But once again, thanks to all who have read Stepping Time and especially those who reviewed and sent private messages along the way. Much appreciated!**


End file.
